Tigger

I thought Hastert was a wrestling or boxing coach. Why are the boys wearing kimonos?
 
 
I had an occurrence several years ago where a youngster contacted me through Grindr. His stated age was 18. But then in conversation he told me he was 16. He was the one who initiated the texting in the first place. I'm not usually attracted to youngsters like that. When he told me he was 16, I said I can't talk to you, and I immediately blocked him.

I thought Hastert was a wrestling or boxing coach. Why are the boys wearing kimonos?
 
 
I had an occurrence several years ago where a youngster contacted me through Grindr. His stated age was 18. But then in conversation he told me he was 16. He was the one who initiated the texting in the first place. I'm not usually attracted to youngsters like that. When he told me he was 16, I said I can't talk to you, and I immediately blocked him.

I thought Hastert was a wrestling or boxing coach. Why are the boys wearing kimonos?
 
 
I had an occurrence several years ago where a youngster contacted me through Grindr. His stated age was 18. But then in conversation he told me he was 16. He was the one who initiated the texting in the first place. I'm not usually attracted to youngsters like that. When he told me he was 16, I said I can't talk to you, and I immediately blocked him.

I thought Hastert was a wrestling or boxing coach. Why are the boys wearing kimonos?
 
 
I had an occurrence several years ago where a youngster contacted me through Grindr. His stated age was 18. But then in conversation he told me he was 16. He was the one who initiated the texting in the first place. I'm not usually attracted to youngsters like that. When he told me he was 16, I said I can't talk to you, and I immediately blocked him.

Yes, but too much discretion makes a review worthless.

I think this thread has gone on so long that maybe you missed my point too. The point I was making was that tone of the review plus the tone of TH's ad indicate to me he is not really an escort for everyone.
 
Having looked at several of Azdr's reviews, I'm getting the feeling that many of the guys he really likes might not be escorts that a large majority of us would like. I'm sure Azdr has met many escorts that a majority would like. But since Azdr's interests do not encompass kissing and intercourse, he is going to like guys that many of us would probably classify as only minimally to moderately interactive. These are the kind of niches that straight escorts would often be expected to occupy. And Azdr has mentioned he doesn't mind seeing straight escorts.

You're missing my point. When a review has to explicitly state that 'interaction with TH will very much depend on the ol' "chemistry" thing', in my opinion that's a red flag. It does not give me a good feeling at all about an escort. The best escorts work with the client. This sounds to me like a warning that it's very possible for him and the client not to be compatible. But I am not surprised by the statement. It goes along with the vibe I got from his ad

http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j12/itsallos/Mobile%20Uploads/13F3B18F-F648-4158-84B7-DA648487AFF0_zpstr9q81by.jpg

http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j12/itsallos/Mobile%20Uploads/13F3B18F-F648-4158-84B7-DA648487AFF0_zpstr9q81by.jpg

http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j12/itsallos/Mobile%20Uploads/13F3B18F-F648-4158-84B7-DA648487AFF0_zpstr9q81by.jpg

In my personal experience there are two ways in which this happens.
 
The first and most common way, is after a shared intimacy, after a passionate session or few years of getting to know one another, he looks at you with a glint in his eye, says "I fucking love you, man" slaps your ass, smiling and moves unto something else. In my experience, when a session goes the way I want it to go, I fall in love a little, I feel butterflies a little, I cherish that special moment looking into each other's eyes, which makes it very easy for me to imagine he will also feel that.
 
There is no promise, no contract, no attachment, no exchange of vows, and more importantly, no benefiting from the other's vulnerability. There is only love, encounter, tenderness, passion, all lived powerfully in a magic moment, then forgotten, till next time.
 
The other way is when after one or many sessions you notice the client suffering, tentative, demanding a lot of attention, constantly trying to break the pre agreed privacy boundaries, asking for reassurance, information, promises, or a lot of time outside of the time you spend together. Sooner or later when together, he will break down and in a very emotional way he will say something like: "I have not been doing well, I am suffering so much because of my feelings for you... I love you so much that I _______". You get my drift.
 
In this case, I listen attentively and compassionately and explain that under these circumstances I am unable to continue seeing him because that would only be damaging to him. I clarify that because of my professional ethical rules I will never -under any circumstance- start an emotional partnership with a client because I believe the power imbalances and mutual transferences and expectations will make the relationship unhealthy from the very beginning. I then strongly encourage him to look for professional help, someone with whom he can talk about this. Not another escort, who might potentially take advantage of his vulnerability, but a psychologist who might be better equipped to help him through that.
 
I tend to prefer not to wait till all this happens and look for the signs of emotional attachment before they further develop.
 
I have no problem with having a passionate, romantic boyfriend experience. Love traveling to romantic places with dear old clients of mine, with whom I can allow myself to be vulnerable and absolutely available because they understand, respect and celebrate the boundaries and nature of our relationship. What I won't do under any circumstance is keep seeing a client and charging him even if I know well that I will never be able to give him what he believes he wants. Making money out of heartbreak, to me, is just not an ethical thing.
 
To me love and vulnerability have never been a problem. They are the goal.
 
Attachement, expectations, blurred boundaries and emotional exploitation are an absolute no no. As soon as they show up, I will end the relationship.

http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j12/itsallos/Mobile%20Uploads/13F3B18F-F648-4158-84B7-DA648487AFF0_zpstr9q81by.jpg

http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j12/itsallos/Mobile%20Uploads/13F3B18F-F648-4158-84B7-DA648487AFF0_zpstr9q81by.jpg

Or whatever they make engine head gaskets out of.
http://www.aa1car.com/library/head_gasket.jpg

http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j12/itsallos/Mobile%20Uploads/13F3B18F-F648-4158-84B7-DA648487AFF0_zpstr9q81by.jpg

http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j12/itsallos/Mobile%20Uploads/13F3B18F-F648-4158-84B7-DA648487AFF0_zpstr9q81by.jpg

http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j12/itsallos/Mobile%20Uploads/13F3B18F-F648-4158-84B7-DA648487AFF0_zpstr9q81by.jpg

I'm not sure what you are describing is really 'being in love' and if it is, it's more on the unusual side. The majority of people I know while there may be multiple people they love are not 'in love' with multiple people at one time. Some people are polyamory. But it's not the norm.
 
But actually being in love with an escort in most cases is probably not a good thing. In general how many people can tolerate being in love with anyone, escort or not, frequently be with them/have sex with them (actions that are normally considered things that bond and strengthen relationships), and know that in spite of all the time and sex together that the other person doesn't feel the same way about them. The majority of the people I know would get depressed about the fact that the other person isn't in love with them. It doesn't lead to a good mental health situation. If it did, then why would there be so many tragedies written about unrequited love. In an unrequited love situation it would be too easy for the object of affection, even without meaning to, to take advantage. In an escort/client situation, an escort who is a mensch will do everything he can to make sure the client is let down easily, not take advantage of the situation, and in many cases probably needs to distance himself from the client as how is the client supposed to get over the object of his affection when presented with him on a frequent basis.
 
But I am out of this thread. I'm even going to pick the 'unfollow' option.

And people who know them and care about them don't offer them alcohol. In the same way that an escort who knows his client has developed an unhealthy attraction to him should quit seeing the client and not fan the flames.

There's a reason you aren't supposed to feed bears in a zoo or you don't take an alcoholic to a bar. You don't keep offering someone something that they can never have. I'd say this goes doubly for sex with all the endorphins it produces.
 

 
This sounds very nice. But this sounds more like love as opposed to "being in love".

Any reputable mental health/relationship expert will tell you that if you are in love with someone unobtainable the best thing to do is distance yourself-allow the immediacy of the emotion to fade. Find a hobby.

Thanks
 

 
My former chaplain where I used to live would not agree-or at least he based his sermon on the fact that the heart may want what it wants. But that's why we have intellect for control. If the heart wants something bad like a child wants candy, we adults prevent it.
 

I would say that someone with unrequited love may not be able to control how he feels. An escort who keeps seeing a client under those circumstances is just egging the client on-giving him groundless hope. It's like administering heroin to a heroin addict. If the escort continues seeing the client, there's a chance that the client becomes even more entangled. Sex and endorphins combined with the loneliness a lot of clients feel are a potent brew. 
 
Years ago I was smart enough to stop seeing an escort. I didn't even love him. But I liked him. I wanted to be friends. I don't think the escort particularly disliked me. He even had mentioned that I wasn't difficult to please. But I wanted to be a friend and not a client. I was fairly sure that was never going to happen. It was difficult. I can't even imagine how much more difficult it would have been had I actually been in love with him. If I had loved him, I might not have been able to keep myself from hiring him.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

And people who know them and care about them don't offer them alcohol. In the same way that an escort who knows his client has developed an unhealthy attraction to him should quit seeing the client and not fan the flames.

What?!?! says who? I'm not sure I like where this is going

I'm a Premium Member too. But when I looked at his ad yesterday after reading this thread, his Privates were fully Private. So even if you have a membership you still have to ask for a password. I checked today and same situation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlhM0gVvAzE