JuniorNYC

I had a regular fuck buddy where the sex was really good. We were about to set up a time to meet up and he asked me, "are you into anything kinky? wanna try something new?"
 
I was pretty vanilla at the time, and I told him I'd get back to him. I thought about different fantasies, role playing, etc. that might turn me on. I ended up coming up with one thing that seemed incredibly forbidden, totally taboo... even frightening. I got back to him the next day and I said, "when I'm fucking you... and I'm getting close to cumming... I want to kiss you hard and say 'I love you' and when we're done know it was just a term used in the heat of the moment - and after don't freak out or be awkward about it - and know I'm definitely not looking for a relationship, but I kind of think it would be nice to say as I haven't said it in a long time." He was open to it. (He also told me a fantasy he had which we tried one time that I'll save for a different post .)
 
Well, we did it - I did it... and afterwards it was totally fine. It was nice to say, and it made me cum my brains out because it made the experience much more intense. We stayed fuck buddies for a while after, with the sex eventually fizzling out - never going back to using that word except for that one time, and I had no real desire to use it again on him after that.
 
If part of the fantasy is saying it - it should be made clear beforehand that using the word is just that - a fantasy. I have yet to have a discussion about this with a client saying this to me, but should it come up (before or after being used), my approach would be that of flattery and empathy. I might choose to play down any discomfort he may have after the fact and follow it with an honest discussion of whether that word is something that we both would feel comfortable being used, the extent of that comfort and drawing clear boundaries.
 
Sometimes we need to feel loved - other times we need to give love. Someone once told me, "sometimes the best gift you can give someone is to accept their gift." Roll with it, but like I said, have an honest discussion about it - try not to dismiss it or make it seem wrong or bad.

I wouldn't hire any of those guys, but I would hire Killian, Tristan, or Brandan to cuddle in a New York minute.