Tonyko

LOL I know I've been to a few and no there were no ventriloquists with their dummies there (some brought VERY tiny old relatives) but I prolly should have put "caricature" in FRONT of unveiling ps I've since looked up some pix, youtubes etc of this show since it was before my time and yah it was obvs WAY outside the box for it's time. (and the ventriloquist guy was kinda cute too

I think we're being a little stereo-typical about these guys and forgetting JUST how much WORK goes into maintaining their workable status, gym regiments so specific so as to not add mass facials dermatologists hair salons dentists no carbs no booze 48hrs before a shoot no late nights mani's pedi's etc etc etc every part of them has to maintained like a Ferrari to keep their looks that we all drool over. So lets cut them some slack. All that being said I'll add one.
Join Mensa.

I think we're being a little stereo-typical about these guys and forgetting JUST how much WORK goes into maintaining their workable status, gym regiments so specific so as to not add mass facials dermatologists hair salons dentists no carbs no booze 48hrs before a shoot no late nights mani's pedi's etc etc etc every part of them has to maintained like a Ferrari to keep their looks that we all drool over. So lets cut them some slack. All that being said I'll add one.
Join Mensa.

IDK maybe the LAPSE in time has something to do with it. Sev years ago I was at a thing and talked to Larry King, the old host, his show was already off the air at that point. He told a story about his first love, the girl he planned to marry, he was nuts about her and couldn't live w/o her. But then his first REAL break in broadcasting came up but it meant moving far away and she refused to leave her family. He could not IMAGINE living w/o her, he took the job and felt like he'd blown his chance at his only love. 40 years LATER this very heavy very brassy woman with a screeching voice came up to him at a show in Fla and it was HER. He said he could NOT imagine what his life would have been if THIS is what he'd stayed with.
"I" thought to myself, if he HAD maybe he would still SEE that girl he fell in love with when he looks at her now. Maybe??
I know from MY experience it can make a diff. I went gaga over a Gaeity dancer almost 15 years ago. A recently out of the Air Force 24yo Blonde adonis hair now to his shoulders green eyes muscular bod of a God etc etc. THAT guy who was my "ideal" is STILL in my life today. We grew close. He's a true friend now whom I love and it's mutual our families have even met etc thou none know "how" WE really met lol. He still allows me to have a little "fun" with him because he knows how happy it makes me, and says it makes him happy to make me happy, even thou he's 100% straight and "that" life is in his past. He's a 39yo suit and tie professional the long hair is gone the muscles and hard body has given way to a soft body with skinny arms and in REALITY he's no longer the Adonis I first saw BUT he still excites me because it's HIM. And THATS what I still see.

CAREER TESTS IN SCHOOL? Anyone else have to take?? That multiple choice quiz in HS where they tell you what you're BEST suited for?? Yes I was in Glee Club and the school plays etc lol but I also played sports was on the baseball team and did Karate since I was a kid etc "so" I really thought I'd be a fairly under the radar queer. Imagine my surprise when I sat across from the guidance councillor (who looked back n forth from ME to my test results several times before speaking) and said (with a lil smirk) FLORIST.
I will never forget that, and though these were "private" I wondered (fearfully) if he shared our results with others in the teacher's lounge, Or WORSE with other guys in my class.
The multiple choice questions were SO lame, at least to me at that time.
WOULD YOU RATHER:
A) WASH DISHES.
B) DRY DISHES.
Shit like that. "But" apparently designed to be kinda' accurate I guess
*I also suppose writing in my own alt:
C) GARNISH THEM - probably didn't help

IDK maybe the LAPSE in time has something to do with it. Sev years ago I was at a thing and talked to Larry King, the old host, his show was already off the air at that point. He told a story about his first love, the girl he planned to marry, he was nuts about her and couldn't live w/o her. But then his first REAL break in broadcasting came up but it meant moving far away and she refused to leave her family. He could not IMAGINE living w/o her, he took the job and felt like he'd blown his chance at his only love. 40 years LATER this very heavy very brassy woman with a screeching voice came up to him at a show in Fla and it was HER. He said he could NOT imagine what his life would have been if THIS is what he'd stayed with.
"I" thought to myself, if he HAD maybe he would still SEE that girl he fell in love with when he looks at her now. Maybe??
I know from MY experience it can make a diff. I went gaga over a Gaeity dancer almost 15 years ago. A recently out of the Air Force 24yo Blonde adonis hair now to his shoulders green eyes muscular bod of a God etc etc. THAT guy who was my "ideal" is STILL in my life today. We grew close. He's a true friend now whom I love and it's mutual our families have even met etc thou none know "how" WE really met lol. He still allows me to have a little "fun" with him because he knows how happy it makes me, and says it makes him happy to make me happy, even thou he's 100% straight and "that" life is in his past. He's a 39yo suit and tie professional the long hair is gone the muscles and hard body has given way to a soft body with skinny arms and in REALITY he's no longer the Adonis I first saw BUT he still excites me because it's HIM. And THATS what I still see.

Yes. And she LOOOOVED her gay son lol. Told EVERYONE how much fun we always have together going to shows shopping how much fun my friends were he took me here or there etc, more fun than with my bro or even my sis. I lost her this Spring. Miss her like crazy. Still pick up the phone like 10X a day cause I forget. Still haven't erased all her Vmails n stuff. It's weird cause you don't have a family of your own or a partner so it's like there's no one who gives a shit about you anymore. (I know not true of course, there's fam and wonderful friends etc) but this was the person who says call me when you get home put on a warm coat eat something call me when your plane lands go to the doctor etc etc you know stuff like that. It's so weird not having that anymore.

Thanks. (CNN infinitely more reliable then a FBook sidebar I saw lol)

Monty Python's "Vocational Guidance Counselor" sketch.
 

 
"But I want to be a lion tamer!"

CAREER TESTS IN SCHOOL? Anyone else have to take?? That multiple choice quiz in HS where they tell you what you're BEST suited for?? Yes I was in Glee Club and the school plays etc lol but I also played sports was on the baseball team and did Karate since I was a kid etc "so" I really thought I'd be a fairly under the radar queer. Imagine my surprise when I sat across from the guidance councillor (who looked back n forth from ME to my test results several times before speaking) and said (with a lil smirk) FLORIST.
I will never forget that, and though these were "private" I wondered (fearfully) if he shared our results with others in the teacher's lounge, Or WORSE with other guys in my class.
The multiple choice questions were SO lame, at least to me at that time.
WOULD YOU RATHER:
A) WASH DISHES.
B) DRY DISHES.
Shit like that. "But" apparently designed to be kinda' accurate I guess
*I also suppose writing in my own alt:
C) GARNISH THEM - probably didn't help

CAREER TESTS IN SCHOOL? Anyone else have to take?? That multiple choice quiz in HS where they tell you what you're BEST suited for?? Yes I was in Glee Club and the school plays etc lol but I also played sports was on the baseball team and did Karate since I was a kid etc "so" I really thought I'd be a fairly under the radar queer. Imagine my surprise when I sat across from the guidance councillor (who looked back n forth from ME to my test results several times before speaking) and said (with a lil smirk) FLORIST.
I will never forget that, and though these were "private" I wondered (fearfully) if he shared our results with others in the teacher's lounge, Or WORSE with other guys in my class.
The multiple choice questions were SO lame, at least to me at that time.
WOULD YOU RATHER:
A) WASH DISHES.
B) DRY DISHES.
Shit like that. "But" apparently designed to be kinda' accurate I guess
*I also suppose writing in my own alt:
C) GARNISH THEM - probably didn't help

I had mentioned my adolescent dalliances with my friend Tim, and I also had a few experiences with some other neighborhood boys. But it was the summer that I turned 16 that I finally started my 'education' with men older than me.
 
I was working downtown that summer, and one day I went alone to lunch at a local McDonald's. I was wearing a t-shirt advertising a small local weekly newspaper (a relative worked there) which had a personals section in the back. An older man (40's-ish?) came and sat next to me and started a conversation. He mentioned said newspaper, and the personals, and asked what I thought of that. He went further and asked what i thought of the ads that said "GWM" etc.
 
Ok, so it was obvious where he was going. I knew it - and well, I was too shy, only on an hour lunch break, and perhaps not attracted. And of course wary of him being a stranger. So I said something intellectual, like "people that want to place ads like that are ok by me, but I'm not like that" or something. And he took the hint, and that was that.
 
But sometimes I do think back and wonder - had I been more savvy about these things, and more adventurous/interested, maybe we would have wound up having a good time. Or maybe I did the right thing.
 
But something else was going on too. Something that would really change my life for the next few years. I must have overheard a conversation that insinuated that men were using the restroom at the library downtown as a cruising spot. I went to that library fairly often, but never for that, lol. But, that summer, I tried hanging out there and daring myself to see what would happen. I might describe some of my adventures in another post, but suffice to say that that summer I began an interest in "tearoom" sex that would continue into my college years before I finally stopped doing it. When I started, it was 1980, AIDS was unknown, and security around that restroom and a few others I tried was fairly lax - when I stopped mid-80's, I think I was much more worried about catching an STD, and security had tightened, etc. (And perhaps one day I just realized that the sense of adventure wasn't there anymore, and that sex should happen in more comfortable, pleasant surroundings lol.)
 
That first time was, to quote Stephen Sondheim, an "excited and scared" experience. Again it was lunchtime, later that same summer. This particular restroom had two stalls (with no doors!) and with small peepholes (nothing glory-hole sized) - so one could look into the other stall, and/or you could spy on the guys at the 2 urinals next to that. That day I was in the stall nearest the urinals. A guy came in, saw me sitting there, and went to the urinal. He surely knew I was watching as he started stroking himself instead of peeing. After a minute or two he peeked slightly into my stall, with a knowing look, and I think, a lick of his lips. Obviously I knew this was a good opportunity. He motioned me to come over to the urinal with him. He played with my cock and sucked it, and when I was ready to cum I remember he stroked it out of me, having me aim it into the urinal. It was the first time an adult had gotten me off. After, he asked me if I wanted to do anything back, and frankly, I was so shaken by having done what I just did, that I made an excuse and said I had to go. I seem to remember him chuckling a little and thanking me for letting him play with me. I zipped up and got the hell out of there, lol. And really spent the rest of the day at work aware of my nerves - I was glad I had done it, but maybe I felt really guilty too lol.
 
But, I went back. And became a kind of a regular after a while. And it's funny to think back to all that - here I was, a chubby, average-looking, kinda nerdy kid, nevertheless getting all this attention from guys over twice my age (though occasionally there would be younger guys too, and even another teen here and there). I would guess they all felt pretty fucking stoked to find this boy as part of "the club" lol. It was edgy, and sometimes I realize what a miracle it was that I never got caught or into any dangerous situations - but I sure had some fun, if perhaps seedy, encounters lol.

IDK maybe the LAPSE in time has something to do with it. Sev years ago I was at a thing and talked to Larry King, the old host, his show was already off the air at that point. He told a story about his first love, the girl he planned to marry, he was nuts about her and couldn't live w/o her. But then his first REAL break in broadcasting came up but it meant moving far away and she refused to leave her family. He could not IMAGINE living w/o her, he took the job and felt like he'd blown his chance at his only love. 40 years LATER this very heavy very brassy woman with a screeching voice came up to him at a show in Fla and it was HER. He said he could NOT imagine what his life would have been if THIS is what he'd stayed with.
"I" thought to myself, if he HAD maybe he would still SEE that girl he fell in love with when he looks at her now. Maybe??
I know from MY experience it can make a diff. I went gaga over a Gaeity dancer almost 15 years ago. A recently out of the Air Force 24yo Blonde adonis hair now to his shoulders green eyes muscular bod of a God etc etc. THAT guy who was my "ideal" is STILL in my life today. We grew close. He's a true friend now whom I love and it's mutual our families have even met etc thou none know "how" WE really met lol. He still allows me to have a little "fun" with him because he knows how happy it makes me, and says it makes him happy to make me happy, even thou he's 100% straight and "that" life is in his past. He's a 39yo suit and tie professional the long hair is gone the muscles and hard body has given way to a soft body with skinny arms and in REALITY he's no longer the Adonis I first saw BUT he still excites me because it's HIM. And THATS what I still see.

MY HS coaches looked like the Dad on The Wonder Years lol NO fantasy there. BUT Mr. P a fresh out of college Mark Harmon look-alike math teacher was ALSO the boys track team coach. They met Thursdays same day as Glee Club (I know) and we rehearsed in the gym and I noticed 20 mins after all the boys would come out to leave after showering HE would come out with that tell-tale wet hair so he obvs would wait until they showered first. (our locker room was off the gym and had individual showers not prison style, like 8 cubicles in a row) I tried once or twice to time using the bathrrom in the locker room to catch a sight of him but failed. The last day before Thanksgiving break I timed it JUST right he was IN the shower. I must have taken out and put back in my dirty gym clothes from a locker a dozen times stalling until he came out, but I got to see him. (from afar) I remember being shocked at how hairy his chest and stomach was, and how small and hard his ass was. And he had great feet too. His dick was a lot smaller than I thought a dick on a grown man would be but I didn't care lol. Spent the rest of that year of Freshman Math staring at him up at the blackbaord with THAT picture in my head and DO remember getting hard under my desk.

IDK maybe the LAPSE in time has something to do with it. Sev years ago I was at a thing and talked to Larry King, the old host, his show was already off the air at that point. He told a story about his first love, the girl he planned to marry, he was nuts about her and couldn't live w/o her. But then his first REAL break in broadcasting came up but it meant moving far away and she refused to leave her family. He could not IMAGINE living w/o her, he took the job and felt like he'd blown his chance at his only love. 40 years LATER this very heavy very brassy woman with a screeching voice came up to him at a show in Fla and it was HER. He said he could NOT imagine what his life would have been if THIS is what he'd stayed with.
"I" thought to myself, if he HAD maybe he would still SEE that girl he fell in love with when he looks at her now. Maybe??
I know from MY experience it can make a diff. I went gaga over a Gaeity dancer almost 15 years ago. A recently out of the Air Force 24yo Blonde adonis hair now to his shoulders green eyes muscular bod of a God etc etc. THAT guy who was my "ideal" is STILL in my life today. We grew close. He's a true friend now whom I love and it's mutual our families have even met etc thou none know "how" WE really met lol. He still allows me to have a little "fun" with him because he knows how happy it makes me, and says it makes him happy to make me happy, even thou he's 100% straight and "that" life is in his past. He's a 39yo suit and tie professional the long hair is gone the muscles and hard body has given way to a soft body with skinny arms and in REALITY he's no longer the Adonis I first saw BUT he still excites me because it's HIM. And THATS what I still see.

I can relate to that, Tonyko. This isn't my first queer experience, but it is the longer lasting one. I have always been a lone hunter, never been or am interested in a committed, LTR, so my crushes tend to be very short. But there is one guy I met almost 30 years ago I still have a passionate relationship with. When I met him both of us were very young, and he was a street hustler. A breathtaking beautiful one. Our encounters would always involved some kind of transaction, not always money, maybe diner, a piece of clothing, a joint, something. We would not have anal sex, but the kissing was celestial. After a few months of meeting very often, he robbed me. I was very young and poor, so he just vanished without much, just a tape recorder and my weed while I was sleeping. After about one year, he reconnects begging me to see him. We meet, he brings some cash to pay for my goods (he was and is waaayyy below the poverty line), and explains to me that a friend of him was waiting for him outside, armed, and threatening to use his weapon if he did not leave my place with some valuables. Of course I did not know wether or not to believe him. But the chemistry was so strong that I gave him the benefit of doubt and we started a long process of reconciliation. He stopped asking for anything in exchange of sex and that year, as a birthday gift, he bottomed for me for the first time. We have been loyal friends and passionate lovers since then. He is married, has three children, and still when I am visiting Buenos Aires we spend together as much time as we can. I will be with him this very Thursday. He is not anymore the smoking hot stud he used to be, but when I meet with him the old passion just aroused. I am not even close to be young attractive guy I was, but he still freaks out when we are together. Right now I have a boner.

IDK maybe the LAPSE in time has something to do with it. Sev years ago I was at a thing and talked to Larry King, the old host, his show was already off the air at that point. He told a story about his first love, the girl he planned to marry, he was nuts about her and couldn't live w/o her. But then his first REAL break in broadcasting came up but it meant moving far away and she refused to leave her family. He could not IMAGINE living w/o her, he took the job and felt like he'd blown his chance at his only love. 40 years LATER this very heavy very brassy woman with a screeching voice came up to him at a show in Fla and it was HER. He said he could NOT imagine what his life would have been if THIS is what he'd stayed with.
"I" thought to myself, if he HAD maybe he would still SEE that girl he fell in love with when he looks at her now. Maybe??
I know from MY experience it can make a diff. I went gaga over a Gaeity dancer almost 15 years ago. A recently out of the Air Force 24yo Blonde adonis hair now to his shoulders green eyes muscular bod of a God etc etc. THAT guy who was my "ideal" is STILL in my life today. We grew close. He's a true friend now whom I love and it's mutual our families have even met etc thou none know "how" WE really met lol. He still allows me to have a little "fun" with him because he knows how happy it makes me, and says it makes him happy to make me happy, even thou he's 100% straight and "that" life is in his past. He's a 39yo suit and tie professional the long hair is gone the muscles and hard body has given way to a soft body with skinny arms and in REALITY he's no longer the Adonis I first saw BUT he still excites me because it's HIM. And THATS what I still see.

IDK maybe the LAPSE in time has something to do with it. Sev years ago I was at a thing and talked to Larry King, the old host, his show was already off the air at that point. He told a story about his first love, the girl he planned to marry, he was nuts about her and couldn't live w/o her. But then his first REAL break in broadcasting came up but it meant moving far away and she refused to leave her family. He could not IMAGINE living w/o her, he took the job and felt like he'd blown his chance at his only love. 40 years LATER this very heavy very brassy woman with a screeching voice came up to him at a show in Fla and it was HER. He said he could NOT imagine what his life would have been if THIS is what he'd stayed with.
"I" thought to myself, if he HAD maybe he would still SEE that girl he fell in love with when he looks at her now. Maybe??
I know from MY experience it can make a diff. I went gaga over a Gaeity dancer almost 15 years ago. A recently out of the Air Force 24yo Blonde adonis hair now to his shoulders green eyes muscular bod of a God etc etc. THAT guy who was my "ideal" is STILL in my life today. We grew close. He's a true friend now whom I love and it's mutual our families have even met etc thou none know "how" WE really met lol. He still allows me to have a little "fun" with him because he knows how happy it makes me, and says it makes him happy to make me happy, even thou he's 100% straight and "that" life is in his past. He's a 39yo suit and tie professional the long hair is gone the muscles and hard body has given way to a soft body with skinny arms and in REALITY he's no longer the Adonis I first saw BUT he still excites me because it's HIM. And THATS what I still see.

MY HS coaches looked like the Dad on The Wonder Years lol NO fantasy there. BUT Mr. P a fresh out of college Mark Harmon look-alike math teacher was ALSO the boys track team coach. They met Thursdays same day as Glee Club (I know) and we rehearsed in the gym and I noticed 20 mins after all the boys would come out to leave after showering HE would come out with that tell-tale wet hair so he obvs would wait until they showered first. (our locker room was off the gym and had individual showers not prison style, like 8 cubicles in a row) I tried once or twice to time using the bathrrom in the locker room to catch a sight of him but failed. The last day before Thanksgiving break I timed it JUST right he was IN the shower. I must have taken out and put back in my dirty gym clothes from a locker a dozen times stalling until he came out, but I got to see him. (from afar) I remember being shocked at how hairy his chest and stomach was, and how small and hard his ass was. And he had great feet too. His dick was a lot smaller than I thought a dick on a grown man would be but I didn't care lol. Spent the rest of that year of Freshman Math staring at him up at the blackbaord with THAT picture in my head and DO remember getting hard under my desk.

When we moved to the NYC burbs Freshman year of HS we had a pool and my brother who was 5 years older would have his buds over at night to carouse and swim and the rule was "show your face and I'll kick your ass" no one wants their lil bro hanging around so I'd stay in my room on the 2nd floor. But it overlooked the pool and right under my window would be these young hot Matt Dillon guys in various states of undress some would go in the pool in their white BVD's they drove me crazy. My Mom had given me her old instamatic (the kind you hada snap a flashcube onto) and I even TRIED to take flashless pix out my window of them all! (THRU the screen lol they didn't come out duh) Point is recently at a family wake there was a bunch of 50-ish balding paunchy guys w their wives etc and my brother takes me over and say you remember .... etc etc etc and THERE they were. WHATEVER happened to your speedo guy he's prolly best left in your memory

In re-rereading your initial post, it certainly brought back memories of the good sisters and parochial school. What you experienced was what they would reference in my day as, "The near occasion of sin". Another type, would be if you walked by an X-rated movie theater (again I'm dating myself) and peaked inside. You didn't actually go in and watch the movie, it was simply a look. However, just by being tempted you experienced the "near occasion of sin".
 
Still, it did not matter that you in essence did nothing really wrong. After all it was just some harmless looking, but they always made you feel that you would still burn in hell, or at the very least purgatory. Damn I forgot all about purgatory.
 
In any event, you would still be punished and would have to endure your just punishment. I think that's one reason why you knew that it would be best not to tell the nun what you were doing.
 
Funny, but the local X-rated theater was called the "Crown Theater". When referencing it the nuns would not even mention the name. I guess that would be the "near occasione of sin" even for them. They would simply say that the place was named for what a king wears his head!

MY HS coaches looked like the Dad on The Wonder Years lol NO fantasy there. BUT Mr. P a fresh out of college Mark Harmon look-alike math teacher was ALSO the boys track team coach. They met Thursdays same day as Glee Club (I know) and we rehearsed in the gym and I noticed 20 mins after all the boys would come out to leave after showering HE would come out with that tell-tale wet hair so he obvs would wait until they showered first. (our locker room was off the gym and had individual showers not prison style, like 8 cubicles in a row) I tried once or twice to time using the bathrrom in the locker room to catch a sight of him but failed. The last day before Thanksgiving break I timed it JUST right he was IN the shower. I must have taken out and put back in my dirty gym clothes from a locker a dozen times stalling until he came out, but I got to see him. (from afar) I remember being shocked at how hairy his chest and stomach was, and how small and hard his ass was. And he had great feet too. His dick was a lot smaller than I thought a dick on a grown man would be but I didn't care lol. Spent the rest of that year of Freshman Math staring at him up at the blackbaord with THAT picture in my head and DO remember getting hard under my desk.

MY HS coaches looked like the Dad on The Wonder Years lol NO fantasy there. BUT Mr. P a fresh out of college Mark Harmon look-alike math teacher was ALSO the boys track team coach. They met Thursdays same day as Glee Club (I know) and we rehearsed in the gym and I noticed 20 mins after all the boys would come out to leave after showering HE would come out with that tell-tale wet hair so he obvs would wait until they showered first. (our locker room was off the gym and had individual showers not prison style, like 8 cubicles in a row) I tried once or twice to time using the bathrrom in the locker room to catch a sight of him but failed. The last day before Thanksgiving break I timed it JUST right he was IN the shower. I must have taken out and put back in my dirty gym clothes from a locker a dozen times stalling until he came out, but I got to see him. (from afar) I remember being shocked at how hairy his chest and stomach was, and how small and hard his ass was. And he had great feet too. His dick was a lot smaller than I thought a dick on a grown man would be but I didn't care lol. Spent the rest of that year of Freshman Math staring at him up at the blackbaord with THAT picture in my head and DO remember getting hard under my desk.

EXCEPT in most of the other locker room scenes there isn't a lead blonde-boy dancer wearing mascara Think I was in 8th grade when this movie came out and even THEN I remember thinking I ain't so sure most of "these" boys are really THAT excited bout going to the whorehouse lol.

EXCEPT in most of the other locker room scenes there isn't a lead blonde-boy dancer wearing mascara Think I was in 8th grade when this movie came out and even THEN I remember thinking I ain't so sure most of "these" boys are really THAT excited bout going to the whorehouse lol.