samandtham

For me being monolingual is a blessing. I get myself into enough trouble with English alone.

Sigh, I hope I had read your advice earlier. I searched for the Abercrombie guy that I had the hots for in high school, on Facebook. He looks so different now: Beer belly, balding, terrible sense of dress.
 
I'm not really the type that looks back to the past that much, whether it's the life that I led or the loves that I had. But when I shared my earliest "I'm queer" memory, I got curious as to how he is doing a decade after I saw him last.
 
I was disappointed, for sure, but it wasn't like I was crushed--I knew for certain that the people I interacted with in high school will change, and only time will tell whether this is for the better or otherwise. In his case, time wasn't too kind to him.
 
The funny thing about nostalgia is that it rarely lives up to what people hope it would offer.

Funny you said that, we moved out of the city to the NYC burbs when I started HS and freshman year I SWIPED a guy in my class's socks at an impromptu pool party one nite lol. All the guys just took off their shirts sneakers n socks and jumped in in their jeans. This guy (also Italian) looked like a really young Tony Danza with longer hair and he was a weight lifter with one of those V bodies he drove me crazy. His socks were just sticking out of his sneakers so I took 'em. Had NO idea what I was gonna do with 'em but I wanted them. I remember him saying someone was dicking around and took his socks etc . BUT this guy was what led to the realization that I could IDENTIFY OTHERS that "went to our church". We had a music/drama teacher a middle aged guy a little on the nerdy side not effeminate just nerdy, and I got a part in the big musical that Fall (yah I know) which he directed. Anyway this boy lived near the school and we'd rehearse at night in the cafeteria with the doors open and sometimes guys would show up and wander in to disrupt things goof on us etc. But when HE wandered in one night in jeans and a tight white T-shirt instead of tossing him out the director let HIM stay. He'd sit on a table feet dangling and watch and the director would keep going over to him and talking to him explaining the show etc etc etc. And I SO remember thinking WHY is he being so nice to HIM??? Then I remember realizing because it was obvious (to ME anyway) that HE thinks of this boy the same way "I" do, like sexually. And WANTS him the same way I do. It was the first time I recognized without any spoken word or someone else saying something, that an "adult" was queer like me.

I played Mr. McAfee when I was 13, lol. I think I had a tiny crush on our Conrad (whose name I think was Greg).
 
The foot story brings me back to my young teen friend Tim (from earlier in this thread). Back at 13/14, I don't think I consciously knew I liked feet sexaully yet (by high school I did). But I had this odd thing happen with Tim one day that makes me wonder if I could have been heading in that direction, sort of...
 
It was summer, and Tim and I were at his house, in the basement rec room, watching TV. We were sitting on the couch, and he was sitting cross-legged, so that one of his bare legs was right next to me. (Wearing shorts/socks/sneaks.) And I don't think at this point we had done anything tactile yet - this was sometime before Tim's little "truth or dare" games and the time we blew each other. And I was (and still tend to be) shy about making a first move, lol - so what happened was not a typical thing for me.
 
In any case, I found myself reaching over and putting my hand under his sock, and rubbing his ankle underneath. I don't know why. I don't know what the impulse really was - but I was doing it. I tend to think neither of us was looking at the other. But he wasn't stopping me, or asking me what the hell I was doing, etc. And who knows how long it really went on for - a minute maybe - though maybe it felt like it was longer. And then I finally realized I should stop, I guess, and I took my hand out from under his sock - and that was it. Still no comment from Tim, no acknowledgement of what had just happened, good or bad. I remember shortly after he shifted his position so his leg wasn't right next to me anymore - though again, it didn't seem like it was him trying to avoid me or anything. And that's all I remember - except that I know it didn't lead to any other touching, at least on that day.
 
I still wonder what it was that made me want to do that. ;-)
 
And...at some point, I'd love to find a guy who might like to roleplay what could have happened...like, say that a still quiet Tim had guided my hand back under, hinting that he wanted me to keep doing it. What if he popped his heel out of his sneaker - a hint that I could go further in under his sock? What if the sneaker and sock eventually made their way off, and there I was, rubbing Tim's bare foot? What if then he......;-)