firewalks

Really?  So this attitude toward the escort subletting his youth, beauty and skills is ok, but his hopes of extra financial help and/or luxuries is shitty?  You guys, you guys, you guys. (again, this is not directed at the OP (and I shouldn't have to say that))
 

A key part of all this   
And tbh replicated in the non-provider / client world as well, straight and gay in so many ways 

 
 
 
 
 
 

I don't know if this helps at all, but as I was reading these often sad tales of entanglements, it struck me that each one is a relationship. Non-escort relationships are often filled with drama and heartache too.   All of you who had your heart ripped out by an escort who liked you as well as relied on the assets that you have and he doesn't, just like you relied on his physical assets that you probably lack, that was a relationship--a dramatic Two-sided, don't believe it wasn't two-sided in many ways, relationship.  

I have been hiring for over 30 years. At times I felt a twinge of emotion for a  provider or two. It could have turned into love on my part but I kept my wits about me. Fast forward to a few years ago. I met the best provider I have ever had.  I like twinks and his body fit that mold perfectly, although he was out of the twink age range. He is passionate, great kisser, very emotional in and out of bed, sparkling green eyes, etc. At times he would disappear when having what he would tell me was bad depression. I suffer from it too so when we would see each other again and talk about it I knew exactly where he was coming from. I also had the very best sex of my life with him, and I've been at this since I was quite young.  He overstayed a visa several years ago and is in the country illegally. A couple of years ago I offered to go thru the motions of presenting ourselves as a couple for awhile then marrying him so he could stay here. I told him he could continue escorting. He declined and that was fine.
Fast forward to this past April. He had taken trips to HI in February and March to see a couple he had met through RM a few years ago. He would always let me know when he was back and we would see each other for dinner, sex, movies, etc. with the usual financial relationship. In April he said the couple who had been together 20 years, married for 10, want him to move to HI and be with them.  (The couple is only 3 years apart in age and one was an escort when they met, then they became a couple)  When he told me my heart absolutely shattered. The first thing I said was "Does this mean I won't see you anymore?" and a tear fell out of the corner of my eye. It was then that I realized I had fallen in love with him awhile back and now I was losing him. 
I has taken 2 months for me to finally start moving past this. However, he texts and sends pics every couple of days which honestly is fine with me.  I care for him and after some of the things he has gone through in life (he's 33 now) he deserves this fun time. He looks better than I think I have ever seen him. But my heart is still broken. I told him I was sorry I lost sight of the fact that what he and I had was a business relationship, that while I think he does care for me the money was at the core of everything.  Just like it is for him now. They are providing him with shelter, food, clothing, taking him island hopping, etc.  When he told me he was moving he said that one of the couple had offered to divorce his husband and marry him so he could stay in the country legally,  It's not that simple and who knows if that was true or if this provider is so good at what he does the offer was made in a time of weakness.
OMG I am a windbag. The point of all of this is that he knew how I felt about him for the past couple of years. I asked several times if this was first and foremost a business relationship for him and he would never really answer. Looking back him doing that meant yes, it was. He and I shared a lot over the years.  I only wish he had been more honest with me when he knew I was falling for him and when I asked about our relationship being business.  I think a lot of providers don't want to be honest when given the opportunity because they are caring men.  IF they weren't caring they would not be in the business.  But for me it would have been better for him to have been honest when I asked about the relationship being all financial for  him rather than promise several times to see me 3 days before he was to move only to stand me up and ghost me.  That hurt much worse than if he had said he couldn't see me because he was being faithful to them, (whatever that means in a relationship with 3 or 4 men together who continue to hire providers) or that he had already left, or something rather than simply stand me up and ghost me.

I used to see a masseur in Palm Springs, a really sweet guy, just my type.  Eventually my heart did go pitter-pat over him.  It's a nice feeling.  
I tipped him well to make sure he knew how much I appreciated him.   When we parted I would give him a loving hug and let my lips touch against his neck.  Lastly I thanked him for seeing me.
To me it was perfectly fine, being a little bit in love with a really nice guy that gave me special massages.
I agree with the previous post, if a client is bothered, for instance when realizing the provider is with other clients, one might need to look yourself in the mirror.
If the provider is spending time with you "off the clock" that's cool, as long as both understand what's going on.   To me it seems messy but I expect some guys can figure it out.
 

I’d like to comment on a few points here. 
 
Providing a high quality service should not be conflated with manipulation. This service is often based on 60 minute blocks. A fair amount of that time also considers the non-sexual components of building and maintaining a relationship. In order to continue feeling comfortable enough to share fantasies and try new things, providers need to create that safe space. 
At the end of the day, when sex and intimacy is involved, it’s really hard to separate the emotional aspect of it. As a provider, I’ve definitely developed a love for some of my clients. Not a romantic love, but a strong connection in which I want to continue seeing them succeed in life. Am I being manipulative when I am happy for them? 
And whoever blames a client for being human is in the wrong. Full stop. This is a two way street. I’d argue that providers have more awareness as to what’s actually happening because we maintain several relationships with clients at the same time. So you might hear more stories on the client side. But someone else shared that his feelings for a provider turned into a happy marriage. 
Love isn’t a weakness. Relationships exist in various forms. Caring about what I do, doing it well, and being engaging isn’t manipulative. I always question the intent behind the action. If it’s to hold on to power, or person. Then it’s manipulative. 
Thoughts?

I’d be interested in hearing some of the ways you do this? Kind of like “sharing best practices” to see if there are takeaways I can apply, etc. 

I wanted to drill a bit deeper on this, because it relates to some things others have said.  So to you, James, and others,  I'm curious what the Escort's manipulating and/or playing-you looks like?  Where on the range is it from "treating you better than other escorts have during your sessions" to "Telling you he will forsake all other men for you if only (fill in the blank)"?
The second thing is when you, and others, say the Escort was just looking for money, do you mean, he was looking to keep you as a regular so you would keep paying his fee or do you mean he was looking for money/benefits above what you paid for your time together?  Thanks!