There was a thread about a frequent poster who asked a closeted gay escort out for dinner after their session was over. The escort refused to go out with the client, he said that if seen with him in a public space everybody will know he's gay.
I'm not sure if the effeminate vs. masculine concept applies to that situation.
Once I was having lunch with a local Jewish escort and he introduced me to one of his friends who happened to be in the restaurant as his uncle Shlomo visiting from Miami...