sfgenmscl

I don't think you should feel bad about this @Rgsnva but some of the suggestions here may be worth exploring. 
Americans are experiencing an unprecedented epidemic of loneliness. I don't know your situation, but the cultural moment lends itself to people wanting to feel loved and connected. This could make you more likely to invest emotionally in your relationship with a provider. 
In addition to the suggestions above, perhaps you can invest more time in developing and deepening your relationships with friends so you're less susceptible to putting all your eggs in this provider's basket. 

You’re not the only one mate, I’ve been going to the same masseur for 4 years and even though I’m married and can never actually have anything with this guy, a part of me has this fantasy that I’m the kind of guy he would actually go for in real life even though I know I’m far from that. But for me our time even though it’s only a massage is something I look forward to every time I hire him, it’s a break from my real life I suppose. And even though In the moment with him it all feels so real I know that as soon as I leave his place it’s all over and he becomes just a figure in my mind.. I don’t think anything is wrong with having the fantasy but I often remind myself that it’s not real so I stay in reality and not get to attached.