corndog

He comes across as a nice guy, and is probably a good hire, but beware of entanglements beyond an hour or two. I'm totally unqualified to say this, but I'm guessing he is pathologically narcissistic. He's very public about his sobriety/recovery, and as long as he is on that path, is probably reasonably safe. However, I'm not the only one that has been burned when he relapsed last time. His relapse caused him to miss contracted public appearances. When he got sober again, I wanted to be sympathetic toward his situation, and gave him an easy opportunity to apologize, but he couldn't be bothered with a simple, token "I'm sorry."

That link doesn't work, but you can try this: www.rentboy.com/Listing.aspx?lid=572055

I don't intend this a criticism or judgement, but for the cost of 13 dances, it seems like you probably could have taken him back to your hotel for a more private experience. Was this one of those situations where things just got out of hand, or were the 13 dances spread over an extended period of time? In any case, I'm glad that you had a good time!

Carrying the love past the appointment is called "heartache."

I've experienced and totally believe in this short-term, closed-ended kind of love. It's rare and magical, but in the right situation, I've totally lost myself in the moment and felt an overwhelmingly strong connection to the person I'm with. When you know that it will be all over in 60 minutes, sometimes it's easier to feel love because you don't have to consider whether it could work in the long term. I've had this experience during one night stands with a guy or two from a far away place. Knowing that there was no possibility of anything long lasting, we were able to live in the moment for our short time together, without any need for judgement or consideration of the future.

I would say that if you have any doubt whatsoever then the answer to the question is "NO."

I think that it is safe to take it for granted that if a massage is advertised as "erotic" it will include a happy ending. A "sensual" massage is a little more vague. I've had a sensual massage, from a very talented masseur, that didn't include a happy ending, or even nudity on his part. At first, I felt a little disappointed, but then upon further reflection, I realized that in this particular case, the massage was indeed very sensual -- and excellent. Sometimes words mean exactly what they say, and are not meant as the code-words we've come to expect. When asked, I've turned down a happy ending 2 or 3 times, and it always seems to come as quite a surprise to the masseur. In these cases, I think it is really important to explain why. Time has taught me that even the hottest guys have doubts about their self image, and I can think of nothing worse than letting these guys believe that I turned down a happy ending because they weren't hot enough! I think we've got to entertain the possibility that the happy ending is maybe enjoyable for the masseur as well, and not just a necessary chore that they need to complete.

You're not the only one. For me, when there is a slow build of sensuality throughout the session, and a happy ending seems like a natural progression, it's great. But when it is just kind of tacked onto the end, not so much. It's especially unappealing to me when the masseur stops and asks. If it is meant to happen, a good masseur should sense that energy and just go for it.

First, let me say that I enjoy a wide range of massage experiences; I enjoy a really good therapeutic massage, and I also enjoy a fun erotic massage. And, everything in between. The other day, I went to a new (to me) therapeutic masseur, who gave one of the very best massages I've had. He clearly enjoyed his work, studied hard to perfect his technique, and took pride in providing a genuinely therapeutic service. His energy was very warm and friendly, and although he didn't avoid sensitive areas, he remained clothed and didn't make any moves that were overtly sexual. 30 minutes into this massage I knew that I had found a winner, and that I would be back. As the massage was nearly over, he somewhat suddenly asked "would you like a happy ending?" I hesitated for quite a while before responding. The truth was that I found him really hot, and would have loved a little playtime, but I said "Um, no, not this time." After it was over, and I was getting dressed, I tried to explain to him that I really had trouble saying "no" to that question, but I had too much respect for him as a skilled masseur to request that kind of service. This conversation felt a little awkward, and I don't really know if he understood what I was trying to say. I feel like talented professionals like this guy shouldn't have to stoop to sexual favors in order to build a satisfied customer base, but I suspect that they feel pressure to appease customers who expect them to be sex workers. If a guy advertises massage as a cover for light escort work, or if a therapist enjoys the sexual exchange with their customers, then I think it's great. However, if a talented professional masseur feels like he needs to get me off in order to be competitive in the market, it feels a little gross. So, now I'm looking forward to another massage from him. He's good enough that I'd go back to him for a purely therapeutic session, but I can't help hoping it goes a little further. Any ideas about how I can show him the respect he deserves, but still let him know that I'd like more, within his comfort zone? I think that it is pretty clear that if I ask directly he'll provide the happy ending, but I hate the idea that he'd go along with something that he doesn't really want to do because he feels he has to.

I think that Apsara is a good choice if you're looking for a sexual experience, more than a therapeutic massage. In my experience, their masseurs aren't very interested in the actual "massage" part of a session.