ANotAMouse

@augustus Appreciate this comment!

@dbar123 If I ever consider using the site again, I definitely will do that. It honestly never would have dawned on me before this situation that taking this step would be needed. I certainly know better now.

@SouthOfTheBorder - Again, it's sad that you felt the need to accuse me of lying (and now accuse me of apparently being a scammer?) simply because I came here asking for advice in a scary situation. Genuinely do not understand how someone sees someone scary and asking for advice, and immediately thinks scammer, but what do I know. Honestly, I've done absolutely wrong, and nothing at all that suggests I'm not being 100% authentic here. The distrust is all on you. As I said, I have proof of everything I've claimed. I've chosen not to share it, because I'm afraid the professional who made these death threats/hacking threats would try and hurt me further if I shared it and his identity. I don't know what he's capable of, and I feel like most people in my shoes would also protect themselves first. If you cannot accept my story without said proof, I don't know what to tell you. There are many others on here who claim to have gone through similar things with professionals. I simply only asked for advice though, and if you didn't like that, it seems like you could have easily just scrolled by. At the end of the day, this world would be a much better place if we all spread a little kindness and compassion for others. It's truly not hard to do. 99.99% of those who have responded have been extremely kind, and have given great advice. I'm grateful for that. For a reason I'll likely never understand, you saw a scared person asking for advice, and decided rather than being kind to them you'd suggest they were lying or here to scam someone. I guess I don't have to get it, but I just find it really sad.

@SouthOfTheBorder Thank you for adding your perspective. As I said to someone else already, everything I have said in my post is true and accurate. I honestly did not think anyone on here would see someone geniunely asking for help, and somehow assume I must be lying, or suggest I was somehow to blame. In my opinion, I have no idea what I would stand to gain by coming here on here and peddling some fake story, but that's just me. Again, everything I have said has been accurate, and there's documented proof of it all. Of course, that doesn't mean you have to accept it. To respond to some of the stuff you've said, I was 100% serious, and was not there to waste anyone's time. The reason for asking far in advance was because there would be traveling involved. I travel frequently, and was looking at RM profiles in areas I'd be traveling. This provider caught my eye immediately for some reason. I did not know or think that it was inappropriate to message someone in advance to ask, and this provider never said anything that made me feel like they were bothered. You assuming though that because I was asking in advance that I was never serious is not accurate. As far as the death threats, threats of violence, and threats involving things like hacking and using my home address, I don't know what to tell you. I have the screenshots. They happened. As I already said, I was dealing with an emergency at home, and I've admitted I stopped checking my messages from him for several days. It wasn't malicious, and I didn't do it on purpose, but it happened. He clearly got VERY angry, feeling like I 'ghosted' him in the middle of setting something up. Trust me, people do a lot of terrible and violent things that you wouldn't believe when they're angry. As others have said, we don't know if there could have been drugs or alcohol involved as well that was adding to his reaction. Who knows. I'm glad to you it all sounds ridiculous for someone to send a death threat because they felt ghosted. It absolutely was ridiculously unhinged, and a gross overreaction on his part. Just because it sounds strange to you doesn't mean it didn't happen. I've witnessed a lot of violent and tempers in my life, and can assure you, I've seen people get physically attacked for a lot less than a ghosting situation. Lastly, I don't necessarily disagree with one of your points. Maybe this post will somehow make it worse. I don't know. I was scared, and honestly I didn't feel like I could turn to anyone else. Telling friends or family that I was receiving death threats from someone off of a website like RM would have been an extremely embarassing and difficult to do. Going to the authorities also seemed out of reach, because my assumption was I could end up in legal trouble myself simply for talking to someone on RM. So I turned to the community here. I didn't share the provider's identity because I was scared. I felt if I did, he'd retaliate with someone far worse. Same reason I am hestitant to report it to RM, because what if he did get banned? If he lost his job because of my report, I'm not convinced he wouldn't show up and do a lot of physical harm. Do I want to share his identity to protect others? Absolutely. That would have certainly been more 'purposeful and helped the community' at large. However, I felt I had to protect myself first. Is it possible he sees this anyway, and it gets worse? Maybe. The purpose was for me though. I still needed to be able to talk it through with anyone. Thankfully, many geniune caring people have reached out, and the panic is starting to go down. I'll also just quickly say, it's truly sad how many people have reached out to me individually saying they have had similar experiences to mine, whether it be threats of violences or extortion threats. Maybe everyone is lying, I don't know. I'm inclined to believe that maybe stories like mine are more common than people think. I'll just end by saying, it's easy to say "just block and move on" and do nothing else. Maybe there are a lot of people out there who simply would not have been scared by this. Maybe some people would have just assumed the person was not being serious with a death threat/hacking threats, or maybe some people just don't get scared at all by threats of violence. I am just not one of those people. When someone is not only threatening my life, but threatening to hack me online, and use my home address, it's very scary. I'm going to take it 100% seriously. Sure, maybe it's all very unlikely that any of it will happen, but it doesn't change how panic inducing it is. Again, if you're someone who wouldn't be scared at all, that's great. I just challenge anyone saying that to exercise a little compassion, and realize how terrifying this would be for a lot of people that aren't like you.

@FrankR This is a good point. I may do just that. Like I said, my main focus right now is on my own personal safety.

@arnemgreeves Thank you for the kind words. From a legal standpoint, most of the people I have spoken to have suggested that since I was only speaking to this person, it likely wouldn't get me into trouble. It's hard to say, I guess. At the moment, I don't feel inclined to go to the authorities, especially since we live in different countries. I don't think necessarily think he's going to fly here just to attack me. If for some reason he started sending more death threats, or did something to hack me further, I may have no choice. My hope is that he has moved on, and it won't get to that point. I totally agree with what you're saying though. I realize it is annoying for him to feel like he got ghosted, even though it wasn't my intention or my fault, and I would have understood if he told me off or something. Threatening my life, threating to ruin my life, and threatening to use my address/location against me is never called for. I wish I knew for sure if he meant what he said, but I truly fear for others who meet up with him.

@José Soplanucas - Thank you for the reply. I can appreciate your prespective. I must admit, I was a little shocked that anyone would question the authenticity of my story, though I understand the point you're making. As you said, I am new completely new to the community as a whole, so perhaps there have been other situations I'm not aware of where someone was accused of something that they did not do. My account of the situtation is 100% geniune, and of course, there is actual proof if it ever got to that. As I said earlier, my choice to not reveal the identity of the professional in question was for my safety. When you have someone sending you death threats and telling you they are tracking your location, you don't chance it. To be honest, the fact that I am not revealing the professional's identity should (in my opinion) strengthen the authenticity of my story. I'm clearly not trying to harm or ruin this professional's career, even though I have serious concerns they could end up truly hurting someone in the future. I was simply reaching out for help. In many ways, I didn't know where else to turn. I was aware of this forum because there is an existing thread already with reviews of the professional in question, and I read them before reaching out to him. After receiving these threats from him, my natural instinct was to reach out to the community here for their feedback. Again, my assumption was that if I went to the US authorities, I would end up in legal trouble for speaking to someone on RM. I was desperate to talk to anyone who might be able to give advice on what to do, and this seemed like the perfect forum. I hope you can appreciate the uniqueness of getting threats from a professional in this community, and feeling like you cannot tell anyone, including authorities there to keep you safe. There is a lot of good advice out there though, and I am taking their advice. I don't entirely feel safe yet. This professional does claim to know where I live, so obviously they may try to cause harm in some way. It likely won't be physical harm, since they live far away, but it's not to say they couldn't try to cause headaches. Lastly, I do want to acknowledge one thing you said, because in many ways it is true. There are always two sides to every story, and in my original post I did try and present how I contributed to the situation. I take responsibility for the fact that I had a personal emergency in my life, and I stopped responding to this professional at a time that looked bad. In many ways, had his response been different, I would have reached out and apologized profusely and continued trying to set up what were discussing. I may have even sent some small amount just as an apology. I understand why this person could feel 'ghosted' in the moment, even though that was not what I was doing. To be fair, I had been nothing but overly kind to this professional before this happened. I do understand how someone could get angry about what happened. This wasn't necessarilly a 'one way' street in this situation. Had this professional started messaging me cursing me out or something, I wouldn't be having this conversation. It was the threats of violence and to unalive me that took me by complete surprise, plus the suggestion that he would use knowing where I live to track to hurt me professionally or even virtually. In my opinion, no one deserves death threats, even someone who may have 'ghosted' someone. Again, he may not have truly meant what he said, but it does leave me to wonder if he could eventfully really hurt a person one day. In the end, I can understand the desire to hear the other person's side of the story, though that's unlikely unless the professional sees this post and figures it out. If you take my story to be geniune, I'd question what good the other person's side would be. Their side is they felt ghosted, so they threatened to unalive me and attempt to ruin my life. I couldn't imagine someone defending that position. Either way, I can only give my word that what I am saying is the truth. I would hope that anyone reading my words, and the way in which I've chosen to give them, is a sign that I'm not here to spread some kind of rumor or fake story. For those that have commented, I am very grateful. Again, I'm not sure I feel safe yet, but I feel better. I will continue to the dialogue with anyone who would like to do so, and read any further comments that people have.

@soloyo215 Thanks for the response. It's greatly appreciated. I am trying to relax, but getting death threats was a shock. As I said, this person lives very far away, so I don't think he is going to randomly show up to hurt me. I'm curious what he would try and do since he says he now has my full name and address. I don't think he could do anything that would really cause actual problems, but he certainly could cause some inconvenient headaches. I have documented everything. As I said to someone else, I'm not sure if it does any good. I would assume if I went to the US authorities I would end up just getting myself into legal trouble because I was talking to this person on RM. I don't know if that's true or not that I would get into trouble, but that was my assumption. He also lives in a different country, so I'm not sure there's much US authorities could do to hold him accountable. I am considering reporting to RM. Based on some of the reviews I've read online, their website support seems to be very lacking. I get the impression that even with evidence, they are probably unlikely to take action against him, even though it involves death threats. Of course, my other thought that he said this is his only job, so if I got him removed from the site I feel like he would come after me even harder. I may later on post his username so others can be warned. I went back and forth about this, and I definitely am concerned he could end up hurting someone someday. There is also a thread specifically about him on this forum, though no one has mentioned having a similar experience like this. My biggest concern at the moment is that if I name him, he will see it, and again it will lead to more threats. I want to protect others, but also at the moment, trying to protect myself.

@FrankR Thank you for the reply. I'm assuming I could never actually go to the police, should he continue to harass me. I would have to explain to the US authorities that I found this person on RM, which I'm assuming could legally get me into trouble, even though we never actually met.

I don't know where else to turn. I could really use some help! I signed up for RM for the first time recently. I was talking to someone on their website. (For my own safety, I am not going to say their username.) He asked me to message him on WhatsApp, which I did. We were talking about setting something up in a couple months, when I would be traveling to their town. I ended up having an emergency at home, and since I don't normally use WhatsApp for anything else, several days went by where I didn't answer them. It was a genuine accident, due to being busy with the emergency, and I wasn't trying to ghost him. It turns out, without me seeing it, he was endlessly harassing me on WhatsApp during that time. It was days of him violently threatening me. I only found out because he ended up texting my actual phone number, which he was able to find on WhatsApp. The text message to my phone included a violent death threat against me, and some threats to hack me electronically, though I'm not sure if he meant he's going to hack my computer or cell phone. I truly have no idea what to do. I don't know if I should report any of this to RM, or if they honestly will even care that one of their professionals is sending someone death threats. Of course, my cell phone company told me to report it to the authorities, but I don't think I can do that because then I would be explaining to the police that I met this person on RM. (I'm assuming it'd get in trouble with the authorities for using RM in the first place.) I have not responded to this person again, and I've tried to block any numbers they've used on my phone. This person lives far away, so I don't know if I'm in physical danger, but they are threatening to hack me. My internet provider and cell phone company seemed to suggest there's probably not a way for him to actually hack me, but I don't know how true that is. I genuinely have no idea what to do, and I'm scared to death. I haven't slept in two days. Also, in a strange twist, I tried signing on to RM from my account and my account has been 'deleted.' I'm not sure if that's because he had people report me, and thus RM actually removed me, or if he hacked the account somehow and actually deleted me. Very scary. Anyone have any feedback at all?