mecloud

GREAT thread! As I’ve posted previously, James holds a special spot in my soul. He was the very first masseur I ever went to. That was in Fort Green, Brooklyn, pre-9/11, closeted and nervous. And he so quickly melted all of my negative self-conscious feelings about my physical and mental being. 

https://www.masseurfinder.com/massage-therapists/1099/  Link to James

James is one of my regulars.  After a massage with James, you will feel pampered.

This is the best thread ever -- thanks so much to "mecloud" for getting it started and to all the others who have replied.  I'm in the same place but I've given up the self-consciousness -- I'm the paying client and a genuinely good practitioner totally gets that and wants to be a good person.  Recommendations for Alex ("Blessings") are totally accurate, he is exceptional.  I've wanted to try "SS" but haven't -- will do so now that i see yet another citing of him.  But here's what I do -- which some guys won't like, saying they're "too busy" or whatever, but the good ones understand it:   Text and ask if you can give them a call to talk first about what you're looking for.  The good ones will be fine with that.  Don't take much of their time, of course, but be honest and clear -- the good ones will appreciate it, and it will separate them from others right away. 
Try James in TriBeca area too -- sorry I don't have his link but he's on MF.  Mature guy, so not the 25 year old muscle dude, but really good, and honest and open and caring. 
Thanks so much for this topic.    

Thank you for being vulnerable and posting this. I’m sure you’re not alone in this situation, I for one feel the exact same way - very nervous and self-conscious. Recently I’ve begun accepting my body for what it is - imperfect, flawed, concealing a kind heart. I think a lot of people (not just masseurs) respond to this self-acceptance, and kindness goes a long way. Treat them like you’d like to be treated. 

Definitely NOT a loser. If you're 50, and handsome, with an average build you'll still be way above level for the majority of the clientele that most sensual masseurs get.
It's not Grindr. You're not competing to be the hottest client. Just the nicest.
Lots of professional masseurs aren't particularly judgemental to begin with and it doesn't sound like you're in a category that would bring any judgement anyway.
 

If you find someone you like, consider repeat business rather than feeling like you need to try 20 different guys just because everyone is talking about them. If they do a good job, and you're relaxed, and receive the attention/service you want. go back to that person.

This is very true. If a masseur has had a modicum of real  training, he'll have absorbed a basic tenet they have in most massage schools: that one finds something lovely in every body one touches. 
JayinHKNYC also gives good advice: find someone you click with and return to him. I have two regulars I alternate between and am very comfortable with them (and they don't judge my old-man body).
 
Good luck!

You are not a loser; you’re being honest. That’s brave in my book.  For what’s it worth, I’m not At attention until I get some direct attention during a massage  
 I’d scroll through this site for some nYC recommendations of people offering massages in private settings where you’re more likely to get more than a therapeutic massage.  Also you should DM the person who posts in order to get a more detailed account of what can happen w a particular person. Takes some research but that’s part of the fun!  
 
Couple of guys with excellent reputations to get you started:
https://rentmasseur.com/Blessings
https://rentmasseur.com/Eliron
 

Tried Bert at Alpha and did not have the type of experience many have described.  Decent massage with some sensual elements but the session itself ended rather abruptly without explosive anything.  Also, when I left I realized the actual session was maybe 45 minutes at the max.
Don't know if it was because he was rushed due to the close scheduling of other clients (before and after me) if it was chemistry - while not an ogre, I'm not as young and built as I used to be - or he thought I wasn't interested.  As for the latter, while it was obvious I was "interested" it does take more direct stimulation than he was providing.
Overall, not what I expected and not sure I will visit the place again given my experience with Bert and the reviews of the other therapists.
If you want a decent, cost efficient therapeutic session Bert is probably OK to fit the need.  As for the rest, YMMV definitely applies.