Tampa flight

[Guest skrubber]

A jumbo jet is just coming into the Tampa Airport on its final approach.

 

The pilot comes on the intercom, "This is your Captain.

We're on our final descent into Tampa. I want to thank you

for flying with us today and I hope you enjoy your stay in Tampa Bay".

 

He forgets to switch off the intercom.

Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit.

 

The co-pilot says to the pilot, "Well, skipper, watcha

gonna do in Tampa?"

 

"Well," says the skipper, "first I'm gonna check into the

hotel and take a big crap.... then I'm gonna take that new

stewardess with the huge tits out for dinner..... then I'm

gonna wine and dine her,take her back to my room and put it to her big

time all night."

Everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins

looking up and down the aisle trying to get a look at the new stewardess.

 

Meanwhile the new stewardess is at the very back of the plane.

She's so embarrassed that she starts to run to try and get to

the cockpit to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she

trips overan old lady's bag and down she goes.

 

The old lady leans over and says: "No need to hurry, dear.

He's gotta take a shit first."

[+ deej]

Same joke, different punchline:

 

After horrendous turbulence, the pilot announced "Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for that bit of lumpy air. It should be smooth sailing the rest of the flight."

 

He forgets to turn off the intercom as he turns to the co-pilot and yells "HOLY FUCK! THAT WAS THE WORST FUCKING TURBULENCE I'VE EVER BEEN THROUGH! I THOUGHT THIS FUCKING CRATE WAS GONNA BREAK UP ON US! NOW I NEED A HOT CUP OF COFFEE AND A BLOW JOB!"

 

As the mortified head stewardess bolted toward the cabin to tell them the intercom was still on, a wise-ass in the back of the plain shouted "Don't forget the coffee!"