Would it be safe to say that many of us escorts don't do the gay scene?

[Mocha]

Because I can f-ing see why. As far as I know, majority of the escorts I come across don't mention involvement in the scene much unless it's something to do with dancing or performing, etc.

 

I've come to realize I'm just so over it. Guys, gays, bars, everything. The games and confusion that comes with meeting guys outside of clients has just become too predictable and all too common. For example, just last week I met a guy in Phoenix at the bar after a friend invited me out. We chat, watched the drag show, and exchanged numbers. Kept in touch, he sent me pictures, shared some things about himself etc. Few days later, we meet up. Had a good time, met his friends at his place, he even popped the first kiss which later lead to longer making out and us giving each other head...for a minute. Until he kept saying he didn't want to turn things into a hookup and we left off on that.

 

However, before we met up...he did "flake" twice. Meaning, there were a couple of times we almost met but didn't. Now...in my personal life I'm a little more lenient about that. Whereas in business, if someone cancels the day of and/or then the next attempt they're just floating about not making definite plans...I ask them without being too brusque; to get it together. But seems like these things need to be implemented moreso in personal life.

 

Because after our "hangout" session, the guy sends me a text saying this will be our last conversation and that he's not feeling me as much, and wishes me luck. I'm like really? Really. I just wasn't surprised at all. This is typical gay shit. Confused little boys don't know what they want. Then once they get it, they run from it. Always trying to make the other person feel like they're doing something wrong.

 

And that's just one example. I could go on and on and on about the variety of mind games guys have played over and over and over. Everything from exchanging numbers and then ghosting, to just major inconsistencies and people who seem to get off on flaking on others. Nowadays, at 30...atleast I can move on with grace and dignity rather than let it affect me too much. But this just brings me back to that frame of mind that I don't like to be in.

 

On top of that, I don't even know my place in the gay scene anymore. The aforementioned guy is a lighter toned black guy and his friends who were at the house were queeny white guys who do drag and bleach their hair and wax their eyebrows. And the guy is not really feminine himself. So to me, that was a yellow flag that he possibly would find a way to exclude me at some point. I was picking up that he's probably more into white guys, and for whatever reason I could have just been used as a diversion for him to see if he can "do it". Not saying that's fact, but I know how these out west Black dudes can be. That's the reason I didn't have many Black friends/dates in Denver until I moved to the east coast, because they were all exclusive of each other, only associating with White or Hispanic guys. I've seen it too many times. The black guy who normally goes for white guys, they may dabble with another black dude for a minute, only to dismiss them with contempt only to go right back to what they were doing.

 

However, I don't want anyone citing the race card because it's much broader than that. That's just one underlying reason. The games are pretty much widespread. So my question is, what's the best way to still keep a social life outside of business, yet avoid all the bullshit of navigating the gay scene.

Edited December 21, 2017 by Mocha

[jjkrkwood]

Why dont you start a thread telling us something You DO Like, for a change????

[Larstrup]

[marylander1940]

Because I can f-ing see why. As far as I know, majority of the escorts I come across don't mention involvement in the scene much unless it's something to do with dancing or performing, etc.

 

I've come to realize I'm just so over it. Guys, gays, bars, everything. The games and confusion that comes with meeting guys outside of clients has just become too predictable and all too common. For example, just last week I met a guy in Phoenix at the bar after a friend invited me out. We chat, watched the drag show, and exchanged numbers. Kept in touch, he sent me pictures, shared some things about himself etc. Few days later, we meet up. Had a good time, met his friends at his place, he even popped the first kiss which later lead to longer making out and us giving each other head...for a minute. Until he kept saying he didn't want to turn things into a hookup and we left off on that.

 

However, before we met up...he did "flake" twice. Meaning, there were a couple of times we almost met but didn't. Now...in my personal life I'm a little more lenient about that. Whereas in business, if someone cancels the day of and/or then the next attempt they're just floating about not making definite plans...I ask them without being too brusque; to get it together. But seems like these things need to be implemented moreso in personal life.

 

Because after our "hangout" session, the guy sends me a text saying this will be our last conversation and that he's not feeling me as much, and wishes me luck. I'm like really? Really. I just wasn't surprised at all. This is typical gay shit. Confused little boys don't know what they want. Then once they get it, they run from it. Always trying to make the other person feel like they're doing something wrong.

 

And that's just one example. I could go on and on and on about the variety of mind games guys have played over and over and over. Everything from exchanging numbers and then ghosting, to just major inconsistencies and people who seem to get off on flaking on others. Nowadays, at 30...atleast I can move on with grace and dignity rather than let it affect me too much. But this just brings me back to that frame of mind that I don't like to be in.

 

On top of that, I don't even know my place in the gay scene anymore. The aforementioned guy is a lighter toned black guy and his friends who were at the house were queeny white guys who do drag and bleach their hair and wax their eyebrows. And the guy is not really feminine himself. So to me, that was a yellow flag that he possibly would find a way to exclude me at some point. I was picking up that he's probably more into white guys, and for whatever reason I could have just been used as a diversion for him to see if he can "do it". Not saying that's fact, but I know how these out west Black dudes can be. That's the reason I didn't have many Black friends/dates in Denver until I moved to the east coast, because they were all exclusive of each other, only associating with White or Hispanic guys. I've seen it too many times. The black guy who normally goes for white guys, they may dabble with another black dude for a minute, only to dismiss them with contempt only to go right back to what they were doing.

 

However, I don't want anyone citing the race card because it's much broader than that. That's just one underlying reason. The games are pretty much widespread. So my question is, what's the best way to still keep a social life outside of business, yet avoid all the bullshit of navigating the gay scene.

 

I think most young gay men order in (Grindr) instead of going out to a bar.

[Pulgasari1991]

Because I can f-ing see why. As far as I know, majority of the escorts I come across don't mention involvement in the scene much unless it's something to do with dancing or performing, etc.

 

I've come to realize I'm just so over it. Guys, gays, bars, everything. The games and confusion that comes with meeting guys outside of clients has just become too predictable and all too common. For example, just last week I met a guy in Phoenix at the bar after a friend invited me out. We chat, watched the drag show, and exchanged numbers. Kept in touch, he sent me pictures, shared some things about himself etc. Few days later, we meet up. Had a good time, met his friends at his place, he even popped the first kiss which later lead to longer making out and us giving each other head...for a minute. Until he kept saying he didn't want to turn things into a hookup and we left off on that.

 

However, before we met up...he did "flake" twice. Meaning, there were a couple of times we almost met but didn't. Now...in my personal life I'm a little more lenient about that. Whereas in business, if someone cancels the day of and/or then the next attempt they're just floating about not making definite plans...I ask them without being too brusque; to get it together. But seems like these things need to be implemented moreso in personal life.

 

Because after our "hangout" session, the guy sends me a text saying this will be our last conversation and that he's not feeling me as much, and wishes me luck. I'm like really? Really. I just wasn't surprised at all. This is typical gay shit. Confused little boys don't know what they want. Then once they get it, they run from it. Always trying to make the other person feel like they're doing something wrong.

 

And that's just one example. I could go on and on and on about the variety of mind games guys have played over and over and over. Everything from exchanging numbers and then ghosting, to just major inconsistencies and people who seem to get off on flaking on others. Nowadays, at 30...atleast I can move on with grace and dignity rather than let it affect me too much. But this just brings me back to that frame of mind that I don't like to be in.

 

On top of that, I don't even know my place in the gay scene anymore. The aforementioned guy is a lighter toned black guy and his friends who were at the house were queeny white guys who do drag and bleach their hair and wax their eyebrows. And the guy is not really feminine himself. So to me, that was a yellow flag that he possibly would find a way to exclude me at some point. I was picking up that he's probably more into white guys, and for whatever reason I could have just been used as a diversion for him to see if he can "do it". Not saying that's fact, but I know how these out west Black dudes can be. That's the reason I didn't have many Black friends/dates in Denver until I moved to the east coast, because they were all exclusive of each other, only associating with White or Hispanic guys. I've seen it too many times. The black guy who normally goes for white guys, they may dabble with another black dude for a minute, only to dismiss them with contempt only to go right back to what they were doing.

 

However, I don't want anyone citing the race card because it's much broader than that. That's just one underlying reason. The games are pretty much widespread. So my question is, what's the best way to still keep a social life outside of business, yet avoid all the bullshit of navigating the gay scene.

Haven't you in fact enjoyed social life, up to that refusal of his?

[+ Travis69]

Sounds like the "gay scene" is the same as it was in the 80's. I only went to bars for music and dancing. Went to bathhouses, glory holes, bushes for the "slutty scene". My formula worked while others beat their heads against a brick wall. I found out early on not to be a masochist.

[+ Travis69]

Frustration with the "gay scene" leads many to hire escorts.

[Boy w the Phoenix Tattoo]

I guess I'm confused because I don't think there's an over-arching "gay scene." Each city has its own, and then you've got their respective subcultures. As a gay trans man in the DMV, sure, there are places I do not go because I know I won't achieve acceptance there. Half of me is the impassioned young activist who wants to fight for his place in those spaces; the other is exceptionally bitter that I have to fight to be in such spaces, and that I can't just roll up to any old bar and feel safe getting a drink with my friends.

 

In some ways, the scene has shaped my preferences. I think there's a misconception that my generation (or younger) is more progressive and accepting about any manner of diversity; but I've found that a lot of gay men my age or younger double down very hard on labels, so I generally don't date my age. You've also got other groups like the masc4masc types (which does include trans men, but that's another story for another day), the "no fats no fems no Hispanics no (insert label)" types, etc. Everyone in my local area wants to be polyamorous, which believe it or not, I don't do.

 

Despite all of that, there is a small population of gay people in my area that I fall in with like we're some kind of island of misfit toys. There are places to go in my city that are predominately gay spaces, and yet their function is purely social. So I'd say that I personally am part of my local scene because I've found my niche, but I'm not as entrenched in it as I perhaps could be.

[YoungAD]

Because I can f-ing see why. As far as I know, majority of the escorts I come across don't mention involvement in the scene much unless it's something to do with dancing or performing, etc.

 

I've come to realize I'm just so over it. Guys, gays, bars, everything. The games and confusion that comes with meeting guys outside of clients has just become too predictable and all too common. For example, just last week I met a guy in Phoenix at the bar after a friend invited me out. We chat, watched the drag show, and exchanged numbers. Kept in touch, he sent me pictures, shared some things about himself etc. Few days later, we meet up. Had a good time, met his friends at his place, he even popped the first kiss which later lead to longer making out and us giving each other head...for a minute. Until he kept saying he didn't want to turn things into a hookup and we left off on that.

 

However, before we met up...he did "flake" twice. Meaning, there were a couple of times we almost met but didn't. Now...in my personal life I'm a little more lenient about that. Whereas in business, if someone cancels the day of and/or then the next attempt they're just floating about not making definite plans...I ask them without being too brusque; to get it together. But seems like these things need to be implemented moreso in personal life.

 

Because after our "hangout" session, the guy sends me a text saying this will be our last conversation and that he's not feeling me as much, and wishes me luck. I'm like really? Really. I just wasn't surprised at all. This is typical gay shit. Confused little boys don't know what they want. Then once they get it, they run from it. Always trying to make the other person feel like they're doing something wrong.

 

And that's just one example. I could go on and on and on about the variety of mind games guys have played over and over and over. Everything from exchanging numbers and then ghosting, to just major inconsistencies and people who seem to get off on flaking on others. Nowadays, at 30...atleast I can move on with grace and dignity rather than let it affect me too much. But this just brings me back to that frame of mind that I don't like to be in.

 

On top of that, I don't even know my place in the gay scene anymore. The aforementioned guy is a lighter toned black guy and his friends who were at the house were queeny white guys who do drag and bleach their hair and wax their eyebrows. And the guy is not really feminine himself. So to me, that was a yellow flag that he possibly would find a way to exclude me at some point. I was picking up that he's probably more into white guys, and for whatever reason I could have just been used as a diversion for him to see if he can "do it". Not saying that's fact, but I know how these out west Black dudes can be. That's the reason I didn't have many Black friends/dates in Denver until I moved to the east coast, because they were all exclusive of each other, only associating with White or Hispanic guys. I've seen it too many times. The black guy who normally goes for white guys, they may dabble with another black dude for a minute, only to dismiss them with contempt only to go right back to what they were doing.

 

However, I don't want anyone citing the race card because it's much broader than that. That's just one underlying reason. The games are pretty much widespread. So my question is, what's the best way to still keep a social life outside of business, yet avoid all the bullshit of navigating the gay scene.

 

I guess this is you being “happy” again.

[Bearofdistinction]

Yo Mocha-Chica --- You really do not like Gay Men at all based on what you say. . .

 

Not every gay man needs to be a Macho BodyBuilder or a LeatherMan or just a Guy named BUD who buys his clothes at JC Penneys who likes Foozball and College Wrestling - and they don't all have to be drag queen or sissy boys or fems or transmen/women or a truckdriver or waiters or hairdressers or florists, etc.

 

The whole movement for those of us who survived the 80s is that we get to be ourselves -- where ever we fall on the Human Sexuality Spectrum -- we do not need to justify ourselves to Roy Moore/Ronald Reagan/Bishop BoBo/The Reverend Franklin Graham/Michelle Bachman, Charo or even lost humanoids like Mocha-Boca-Wanna-Toka. The saddest thing is that when we are judged/dismissed/disparaged/disenfranchised by other members of our joint LGBTQ Communities.

 

I am sure there are many on this board who remember when Gay Bars did not allow lesbian women or made them feel so unwelcome that they never returned to OUR BARS --- Well if you remember that than you remember who stepped up to take care of gay men - raise money for us - and advocate for gay men when we were dying by the dozens -- LESBIANS!!!

 

To Paraphrase Rodney King --- As L-G-B-T-Q-Q-I Communities we have so much more in common than deltas that separate us-- Why Cannot we all just get along!

 

Have Yourself a Merry Mary Holigay!

 

Oh and Mocha-Choka-BuyMe-Alotta-Lottay - We cannot get along because you are such a NEGATIVE Voice that you try and draw the life/joy outta everything fun/happy/good. On the most sunny beautiful day all you can see is the one cloud far off on the horizon.

Edited December 22, 2017 by Bearofdistinction

[Mocha]

Yo Mocha- On the most sunny beautiful day all you can see is the one cloud far off on the horizon.

 

I'm sorry, that's just my way of survival from growing up in Florida. It's not phoenix or Palm Springs. Sunny days don't mean shit.

 

Edited December 22, 2017 by Mocha

[Bearofdistinction]

And @Bearofdistinction ive fucked over 50,000 gay men, so clearly I must like something about them.

 

So to do the math like yalls do, that means I've made x250 which equals $12.5 million dollars.

 

Oh yeah you like the $$$$ -- But based on your constant bitching what did you do with ALL that Money? No House - No Money - No Socks - No Pics of You with Obama --- Really --- That is a lot of cocktails and cheesy motels

[Mocha]

As a general response, I say thanks everyone for replies.

 

It's definitely confusing. I'm not even stressing it. Some mother fuckers are confused.

 

Atleast I made him suck my dick. In the past, I waited only to wish later I'd of fucked them because they weren't about shit. So atleast I got what I wanted...

[Bearofdistinction]

I'm sorry, that's just my way of survival from growing up in Florida. It's not phoenix or Palm Springs. Sunny days don't mean shit.

 

 

OKAY -Of course that is why Florida is called the Sunshine State - - - and BTW -- I grew up in Ft Laud. Miami and spent lots of time in Key West, Orlando and Daytona

[Mocha]

Oh yeah you like the $$$$ -- But based on your constant bitching what did you do with ALL that Money? No House - No Money - No Socks - No Pics of You with Obama --- Really --- That is a lot of cocktails and cheesy motels

 

Girl bye. Speak for your damn self. You don't know what the fuck I have. I could fill your loose asshole with the money I roll up bitch.

 

Don't come for me. I'm actually agreeing with some of what you said. Don't force my hand.

[Mocha]

OKAY -Of course that is why Florida is called the Sunshine State - - - and BTW -- I grew up in Ft Laud. Miami and spent lots of time in Key West, Orlando and Daytone

 

That explains why you're such an ass

 

OKAY -Of course that is why Florida is called the Sunshine State - - - and BTW -- I grew up in Ft Laud. Miami and spent lots of time in Key West, Orlando and Daytona

 

 

and??? What do yuh want. A souvenir?

 

[jjkrkwood]

As a general response, I say thanks everyone for replies.

 

It's definitely confusing. I'm not even stressing it. Some mother fuckers are confused.

 

Atleast I made him suck my dick. In the past, I waited only to wish later I'd of fucked them because they weren't about shit. So atleast I got what I wanted...

 

And here I thought that Trump was the "Vilest" person? You got him beat boo ! And I'll bet MY 12 mil $$$ that you aint never seen, touched or smelled 12 mil CENTS ! That Angry Black Man image just aint attractive...... Not sure what your point of posting IS, but if its to alienate and LOSE clients because you have an ugly, hateful soul.....it's sure working !!!!!

[Bearofdistinction]

That explains why you're such an ass

 

 

 

 

and??? What do yuh want. A souvenir?

 

 

Well Mocha-Smoka in addition to many other deficiencies -you are missing a casual link between youth in Florida and your usual vitriolic response.

 

So looking back at your 50,000 clients and

and $12 million dollars -- so the Mocha-Choka-Toka-Smoka claims to be 30yo--- So assuming he started as an entrepreneur of the flesh at 13yo that means he has been working 17 years.

 

12million/17 years = $705882.35 a year /365 days (Skipping Leap Years - we all need a day of rest) = $1933 dollars per day/ $250 per hour/client = 7.735 work hours a day @ $250 an hour!!

 

I salute you and your tiny dancer for such endurance ----

[Bearofdistinction]

That explains why you're such an ass

 

Well Right Back At Ya Shoeless Schmo

 

 

and??? What do yuh want. A souvenir?

 

 

Nah Souveniers are for tourists

[wklucas]

Girl bye. Speak for your damn self. You don't know what the fuck I have. I could fill your loose asshole with the money I roll up bitch.

 

Don't come for me. I'm actually agreeing with some of what you said. Don't force my hand.

 

yeah right....a short while ago you couldn't afford to move your sorry ass from 1 place to another without the help/sponsorship of some client that you maintained owed you the money (a lousy $2k ?) to move because he was the one who had encouraged / proposed the move to you in the 1st place....

& then also.....not so long ago you were crashing on some friend's couch cuz you didn't have the money to spring for a room for yourself at a motel 6.....& then also i think being pissed that the friend kicked you out after 3 days or so with your complaining that he also owed you more freeloading time.....& your excuse for no money - you were waiting for some (fantasy ?) non-escort related check to arrive in the mail.....soooooo, you more or less told everyone here "what the fuck you have"...... = nada.

[LADoug1]

What happened to your “time out “ Mocha?

[bigvalboy]

http://www.picgifs.com/reaction-gifs/reaction-gifs/wtf/wtf013.gif Edited December 22, 2017 by bigvalboy

[jjkrkwood]

What happened to your “time out “ Mocha?

 

 

He just teases us to see if Anyone cares..... WE DONT !

[Mocha]

Haven't you in fact enjoyed social life, up to that refusal of his?

 

I have to a degree. But at the same time, I tend to notice more and more of the gay social scene seems to be things that I'm not necessarily into

[Mocha]

Sounds like the "gay scene" is the same as it was in the 80's. I only went to bars for music and dancing. Went to bathhouses, glory holes, bushes for the "slutty scene". My formula worked while others beat their heads against a brick wall. I found out early on not to be a masochist.

 

That's true. I'm sure it probably isn't anything new. Thats just how it is. All I can say is I went out last night again (as I refuse failure) and met a whole much better group of people and even a particular person who was into me. In fact, I had my pick of 3 different people. But there still is a lot of BS in the scene. The many times a "single" or recently broke up guy at the bar turned out to be still in relationship and lied about it is whimsical.

 

Let me also just say one thing without directly quoting anyone. Anyone who consistently comes along and spends time down talking someone they never met, doesn't deserve my energy anymore. They get off on saying things that create arguments, instead of focusing on the topic at hand. They continue until it degrades into something nasty. I've let people like that run me off, I'm not allowing it anymore. So @LADoug1 , I hope that answers that for you.

 

They're just going to have to learn to deal with me. All that crap they talking isn't even worth me reading and has not and will not be read. Anyone who reads it and thinks differently of me because of it, would do better to speak directly to me and see how I'm actually doing. If anyone has a personal issue with me, they can meet me personally at any of the forum events, and see how I'll feel about what they have to say. But since non of them likely will never face me, it's not even worth standing up for.

 

I'm only responding to helpful comments. Anyone else talking jive will be ignored. I just don't have time for it.

Edited December 22, 2017 by Mocha