WARNING/HELP I am being threatened on Seeking Arrangements

[mike carey]

I'll count it as mitigating your sending us Rupert Murdoch to screw up our politics.

*Washes hands* Well, he's an American citizen now! Doesn't stop his gutter press doing a full court press in support of the right here.

[MiamiLooker]

Thanks Dino....and to answer your question Miami, you pretty much got it, I got a little too trusting after having multiple dialogues over a month that loosened up my normal guard. I'm trying not to be too dramatic here, but this is just killing me.

 

Thanks for the explanation. Maybe your story will help remind us to always take precautions when communicating with a stranger online.

[AquaNYC]

Several recommendations to consider:

1. One of friends is an uncover police officer. Recently his cover was blown and he and his family started getting stalked. He hired a web service that goes through the internet and removes all traces of your personal identity and information (like addresses, etc.). I can look into the name of the service if you might like to explore it (PM me - I'll ask my friend). Their service is for a year and I think costs around $1000. It will effectively clean you from the internet and then you can start afresh (mindfully).

2. Consider signing up for Identity Protection program. It is a small monthly charge. Aside from credit checks, you can arrange it to monitor other matters, such as medical identity, people using your mailing address, etc.

3. Hire a PI - negotiate a rate you can afford. (To find a good PI, call a law firm that specializes in LGBT matters, call them and ask for recommendations. I would be surprised if they haven't come across this very scenario multiple times.). You define the scope of service you need to track this person down and really get an assessment if it is a real threat or just blowing smoke. If the person is overseas, you can get advice on how to block them (best in combination with #1 above). Recommend doing this to determine if any blackmail is a real threat.

Some suggestions to consider depending on the severity of the situation. In general the police do very little around this. We as gay men need to protect ourselves, we can be easy prey when we innocently reach out for some companionship. Providing consensual, adult services of companionship should not be illegal in this country, but that is a whole other battle.

[+ stevenkesslar]

Thanks for all the rational and thoughtful remarks. I am most likely going the IGNORE route. I did contact SA via there webpage as to why I'm canceling and about being threatened. I also contacted them via email a second time under there contact info. Keep in mind this is with my real name since I had to pay a subscription with a credit card. I think I know which person I dialogued with but cannot be sure because there are multiple guys you start to chat with but don't follow through meeting for various compatibility reasons. To answer your question Steven, correct, I am unsure which person it is. Over a month I reached out to many profiles and many reached out to me, so I dialogued with different guys. Some flake out mid dialogue others last a bit longer, and a couple others I had planned to meet for drinks but will not do that now. Also, in a state of mild panic I closed my account and phone number associated. Either way there is some compromising dialogue. But he/they definitely got my name and parents names at the very least. He said "they were a small group who has taken interest". So I'm assuming now that it is more than one profile doing this scam. I am not out, and yes that is true with anything in life that I shouldn't do anything I'm not prepared for the consequences of. Easier said than done I suppose. Lastly, none of the threats were made on the website but texted to me so SA can disavow any knowledge of threats. Anyway, thanks fellas, I'm am going to try and let this pass hopefully without any consequences.

 

Thanks for your response.

 

A few other thoughts after I read what you said.

 

Even at the time, I thought I probably over-reacted with what I did do. (I also hired a lawyer who wrote my former client a threatening letter). With the benefit of hindsight, some people I talked to suggested I do absolutely nothing, and that may have been the wiser option. The whole thing was stressful, as you are learning, and the "do nothing" option may have been less stress.

 

Especially if you go that route, you now have a whole bunch of ideas for recourse in the unlikely event that this turns out to be more than a bluff. I'd go with Keith's advice that while you should acknowledge the worst case scenario, it's probably best to act based on the most likely scenario. It probably is a numbers game and whoever is doing this would likely rather make lots of lame threats, hoping to find one person who will cave.

 

The minute they actually follow through on any threat, whoever is behind this should recognize that changes the game. You then have nothing to lose. If they don't, you should spell it out to them. Jarec Wentworth comes to mind as a high profile case of somebody stupid enough to try to extort who ended up in jail. So keep in mind that as much as they may think they have the power to "ruin" your life, you actually do have the power to "ruin" their's. If law enforcement did get involved, here's what your criminal friend has to look forward to:

 

 

Awwwwww, poor thing. Sorry, typo. I meant poor thug.

 

https://www.queerty.com/sean-cody-stud-jarec-wentworth-gets-six-years-in-prison-for-extorting-closeted-millionaire-20151028

 

I am not suggesting you go there. Again, in retrospect I think I erred on the side of an overly aggressive defense. But it worked, not only in that I called the bluff, but I came out of it feeling stronger, not more vulnerable. That is my hope for you.

 

I would also be remiss in not mentioning that Daddy himself played a significant and very positive behind the scenes role in solving my problem. Don't assume that the website operator doesn't give a shit, and won't do anything if this continues or escalates.

[Guy Fawkes]

They lied. They are trying to rip you off. That's how FUD works. Walk away an don't ever go back.

 

If asked about it, you don't have the slightest idea what they are talking out.

 

First let me start by saying I am a new user here but a long time reader. I am looking for advice as I have been threatened and contacted by an unknown person on Seeking Arrangements website. I recently signed up and have had dialogues with multiple guys about meeting up and possible arrangements. While I have used a random gmail account and a "burner" phone number, they have my real name and some pictures of me. They have asked for a significant amount of money be sent to a bitcoin account. They have threatened to publish compromising information to all family members and LinkedIn business associates saying all information has been gathered, files assembled and ready to go live tonight and/or within the next 24 hours. They even mentioned family member names. They are saying they have correlated and checked IP address, social photo matching etc. This seemed well thought out and planned and seems real. I am a very discreet person.

I am looking for some advice as my stomach in churning right now.

The Seeking Arrangments website which seems to be based in Asia says if you are threatened to contact local law enforcement. I immediately closed my SA acccount and burned the phone number I was using but I took screen shots of what they said to me. Freaking out a bit right now. Any experts please contact me and I warn all others of this scam.