"It Gets Better...Unless You are Fat"

[+ WmClarke]

I should have just died in high school.

No. It's better that you're here.

 

Please get some help. Both professional and just friends/family you can talk to.

 

PM me if you want to talk. Or have sex. Seriously.

[MikeyGMin]

I should have just died in high school.

Oh dude, I hope you don't think I was just piling on. I can be an insensitive bastard with a very "if you don't like it then fix it attitude." I managed to keep my mouth shut through most of this thread, but reacted to the comment about the "It Gets Better" campaign because it's something I truly believe in.

 

Talk to someone buddy. It isn't just a platitude. They can really help you look at what is making you so unhappy and identify things that can be changed. They don't have to be huge things. One positive change leads to another. Joy isn't the same thing for everyone, but everyone deserve joy in their life.

[+ sniper]

I get where he's coming from. It's easy to push yourself too hard. I walk a lot and I tried to ease back into higher-intensity activity by doing easy intervals--2 mins walking flat, 2 mins walking 4 mph on a 8-9 degree incline. After only a few days of this, my hip flexors were really sore with something called bursitis. I stopped a couple of weeks ago but I'm still sore sometimes.

 

I used to run 15 miles a week with no problems.

 

Physical therapists can help you with stuff like that. They can do a lot more than they used to as the training has changed. You have probably made small changes to your gait without realizing it and they can assess you and fix that. I have chronic back issues)spinal stenosis, herniated discs) and I went from not being able to walk for more than 5 minutes without my legs buzzing and my back hurting to being able to walk for miles pain-free. They'll give you exercises that for the first weeks or even months won't feel like they are doing much, and then one day you'll realize you're doing things again. Took me 5 months of therapy and another 4 of doing the exercises religiously at home, but my back feels better than it has in years despite my MRI being worse.

In many states you can go straight to one without a doctor referral. Look for one that specializes in athletes, not one who just deals with 80-year-old hip replacement

[Gvtire]

20 years ago I lost over 250lbs, over 2 years, kept it off till 2015 when I got my transplant. After I got the thansplant I gained 100lbs because of the steroids, anti-rejection meds and my diet is less restrictive. I still exercise the same and eats basically the same and still can't lose the weigh. In social gatherings people have come up to me or my husband and have said why don't I exercise more and watch what I eat or ask my husbamd how can he find me attractive being this size without really knowing us. It's none of their damn business. I joke with him that if your over 30/30 (weight/waist) you're old and fat.

[MikeyGMin]

My friends are really a pretty decent group of guys, but it is definitely the general consensus that there is no bigger gay sin than being very overweight. I've teased one of my closest friends -- who is a complete sweetheart and very empathetic about most things -- that he wouldn't have given me the time of day had he met me 15 years ago and 60 pounds heavier. He doesn't deny it.

[+ sniper]

It's not even "very overweight" - when I was 235 lbs at 6'3", ran seven miles a day(in under an hour) and benched 265, I was looked at by more than a few gays as "chubby" because I didn't have a six-pack and my waist was 36 inches. There are some small-boned gays who have no idea what a normal weight is for the average-framed or large-framed person.

[Ajac]

Sure seems to be a lot of bear porn out there which kind of proves the adage that there are different tastes for everyone.

Of course I personally wouldn't join a club that would have me as a member. (thanks Groucho). Some groups don't like hairy guys. Some groups don't like fem guys. Some hot guys are chubby chasers. Different strokes.

Just be healthy whatever package you come in. Maybe in the case of the guy whose husband was asked how could he be attracted to him, We should pity the askers for thinking looks are all there is to a person. Maybe they are really thinking no one could love them for anything but their looks.

[DDad4ynger]

I went through some health issues, I was always very active and then it left me about 80 pounds overweight

I put myself on less than 2000 cal a day wrote everything I ate down on something called my fitness pal started walking five minutes every hour on the hour and I've lost 40 pounds in three months can walk normally like everybody else now. So starting out slowly can be beneficial

[Gvtire]

Maybe in the case of the guy whose husband was asked how could he be attracted to him, We should pity the askers for thinking looks are all there is to a person. Maybe they are really thinking no one could love them for anything but their looks.

 

He's when they ask those questions he tells them to go f*** off and stop assuming. People think when you're a big guy you must overeat and not exercise, instead of thinking it could be medical issue. Like I said he weight gain are due to the meds. We've just celebreted 30 years together. He keep telling theres more of me to love even the the scar half way across my stomach.