The business of sex

[mattr]

I find Davey Wavey to be a bit cloying at times but this might be interesting...

 

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I may attend some of it....

[Juan Vancouver]

I can't stand him.

 

He is a self-professed open minded, sexually liberated sex educator, yet every single time the actual subject of sex comes up, he giggles, he blushes, he swears he is not a slut and has never tried that, he is an ageist and body fascist, he resorts to cute euphemisms every time he has to mention a body part or a sex act, he describes sex as dirty, filthy, perverted; sex is something bawdy and titillating for him, not the natural, beautiful thing it is.

 

Every homosexual man and the world at large would be better off sticking to what Dear Queen Victoria taught us about sex, rather than learning anything from this self-hating hypocrite.

 

You cannot educate others about sexuality if you have not before resolved your internalized homophobia, body dysmorphia, shame, guilt and prudishness.

 

His videos do nothing but spread further all these terrible and crippling psychological flaws and normalize them. "If Davie, who is so cute, so fit and so knowledgeable hates himself so bad, is so ashamed of who he is, lies about what he does and can't even use the correct names of body parts, then it is perfectly ok that I live in shame, self-hatred and constant guilt."

 

 

Wow! Just re-read that. I guess I don't like the guy one bit.

[mattr]

I can't stand him.

 

He is a self-professed open minded, sexually liberated sex educator, yet every single time the actual subject of sex comes up, he giggles, he blushes, he swears he is not a slut and has never tried that, he is an ageist and body fascist, he resorts to cute euphemisms every time he has to mention a body part or a sex act, he describes sex as dirty, filthy, perverted; sex is something bawdy and titillating for him, not the natural, beautiful thing it is.

 

Every homosexual man and the world at large would be better off sticking to what Dear Queen Victoria taught us about sex, rather than learning anything from this self-hating hypocrite.

 

You cannot educate others about sexuality if you have not before resolved your internalized homophobia, body dysmorphia, shame, guilt and prudishness.

 

His videos do nothing but spread further all these terrible and crippling psychological flaws and normalize them. "If Davie, who is so cute, so fit and so knowledgeable hates himself so bad, is so ashamed of who he is, lies about what he does and can't even use the correct names of body parts, then it is perfectly ok that I live in shame, self-hatred and constant guilt."

 

 

Wow! Just re-read that. I guess I don't like the guy one bit.

 

Hey Juan... tell us how you really feel... ;-) Like I said, I am not really a fan but it will be interesting to see how he handles some of these topics. Like an adult... or a Davey Wavey

[+ friendofsheila]

I think he takes himself a little more seriously than I take him. (But I think that's YouTube in general, right?)

 

Davey reminds me of how Phil Donahue did a TV special on human sexuality or something. Huh? When did he get a social science degree?

 

Davey's event: Even if I wanted to join, I don't think I can talk about sex live if I'm using the wifi at the public library!

[Juan Vancouver]

Hey Juan... tell us how you really feel...

 

Oh, God, thank you for asking, I thought you never would! What I REALLY feel about Davey Wavey is.....

 

He'll be Davey. And people will swoon because he has pretty tits. And sadly young kids will think this lecherous, girl-like approach to sex is the norm.

 

He is talented though. To create a perfect mixture of lecherous and teenage girl befuddlement is quite a feat.

[LivingnLA]

He lost me at how he said and used "pervert."

 

If it had been lighter in tone, I might have seen it as a bit of self-referential humor, but no.

 

I'll stick to people like Dan Savage, Cunning Minx, or even Dr. Ruth. None of them are completely perfect, but they're more sex positive and open-minded to me than this guy.

[MikeyGMin]

You have to acknowledge that we are most certainly not his demographic. In fact, if he somehow appealed to us it would probably be the death knell of his YouTube popularity. I'm impressed if he really has lined up Trenton Ducati and Topher DiMaggio. They're not small potatoes in the porn world.

[AdamSmith]

You have to acknowledge that we are most certainly not his demographic. In fact, if he somehow appealed to us it would probably be the death knell of his YouTube popularity.

In fact Davey said just that in a (surprisingly sober, subdued) print interview somewhere last year. He said his biggest demographic is youngish teen girls, and that's the audience to whom he keys his 'pitch,' in most all its aspects.

[LivingnLA]

In fact Davey said just that in a (surprisingly sober, subdued) print interview somewhere last year. He said his biggest demographic is youngish teen girls, and that's the audience to whom he keys his 'pitch,' in most all its aspects.

 

You and @MikeyGMin are correct, here's his OpEd about his audience. All of that makes him even worse in my mind because he does a disservice to his audience by propagating so many bad ideas, stereotypes, and biases without acknowledging them. I've seen my daughter watch one of his vids at least once at home. We ended up watching it together and having an interesting conversation. Coincidentally, it was his "ageism rant" that David Michael Conner discusses below on HuffPost.

 

This post captures alot of what I find wrong withe "Davey Wavey."

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-michael-conner/hello-from-the-other-side_1_b_9119432.html

[AresEscortNYC]

As the OP puts it, cloying. His topics have potential to make for lively discussions, but he somehow ends up rendering every subject inane. Now, not everything has to be about "serious matters", but he tries so hard to be light and fluffy and ugh, "naughty," while concurrently promising to be "informative" but delivers on neither.

I'm going to take a shower now, thinking about him for even the length of this post has left me feeling slightly dirty (and not in a good way.)

[LivingnLA]

As the OP puts it, cloying. His topics have potential to make for lively discussions, but he somehow ends up rendering every subject inane. Now, not everything has to be about "serious matters", but he tries so hard to be light and fluffy and ugh, "naughty," while concurrently promising to be "informative" but delivers on neither.

I'm going to take a shower now, thinking about him for even the length of this post has left me feeling slightly dirty (and not in a good way.)

 

Perfectly said! It's like a 1950s Disney princess notion of what being a tween girl in America is like and I'm sorry, but today for many preteen and early teen young women, us proud feminists are trying to raise women in a less inane and caricatured way.

[AdamSmith]

You and @MikeyGMin are correct, here's his OpEd about his audience. All of that makes him even worse in my mind because he does a disservice to his audience by propagating so many bad ideas, stereotypes, and biases without acknowledging them. I've see my daughter watch one of his vids at least once at home. We ended up watching it together and having an interesting conversation. Coincidentally, it was his "ageism rant" that David Michael Conner discusses below on HuffPost.

 

This post captures alot of what I find wrong withe "Davey Wavey."

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-michael-conner/hello-from-the-other-side_1_b_9119432.html

EXACTLY!

 

He is -- explicitly, admittedly -- a product, and a creator thereof, with no other aim but to maximize consumption.

[LivingnLA]

EXACTLY!

 

He is -- explicitly, admittedly -- a product, and a creator thereof, with no other aim but to maximize consumption.

 

Did you read his OpEd that I linked above? If he was explicit about being just a product trying to grow his market, I would be ok with him, but as the OpEd makes clear, he believes he's a sex educator and LGBT justice advocate. At least, that's my read of his OpEd. I have a serious problem with that because as he openly admits, he intentionally uses an old school and sexist presentation of his topics. If he really wanted to help create a better world, it with be a more balanced and equitable show.

[AdamSmith]

Did you read his OpEd that I linked above? If he was explicit about being just a product trying to grow his market, I would be ok with him, but as the OpEd makes clear, he believes he's a sex educator and LGBT justice advocate. At least, that's my read of his OpEd. I have a serious problem with that because as he openly admits, he intentionally uses an old school and sexist presentation of his topics. If he really wanted to help create a better world, it with be a more balanced and equitable show.

Yes. That brings the thing into the hall of mirrors of what he is. I think he is a consumer product that sums to zero.

 

Or less.

[+ Gar1eth]

 

Every homosexual man and the world at large would be better off sticking to what Dear Queen Victoria taught us about sex, rather than learning anything from this self-hating hypocrite.

 

 

Only as a point of order, Juan, could you remind me what Dear Vickie taught us?

 

Gman

[AdamSmith]

Only as a point of order, Juan, could you remind me what Dear Vickie taught us?

 

Gman

Now I know why I love our Gman.

 

[Juan Vancouver]

Only as a point of order, Juan, could you remind me what Dear Vickie taught us?

 

Gman

 

Sadly I skipped gay school that day.

 

Care to elucidate me?

[Bargara Leatherboy]

I find him amusing as an older gay man. I can see others points of view - but I think anyone who is talking openly about gay sex is a good thing, as long as its positive.

If his pitch is teenager girls - well thats good - we need their support too - and hey what they learn about disease transmission and sexual activity could be a positive in their lives.

Think about some teenager who is growing up in the Bible Belt and told to wait until marriage before they find out what its all about - Davey could save them from an STD or even an unwanted pregnancy.

If he has that effect on just 1 person his life has been worthwhile

[MikeyGMin]

Did you read his OpEd that I linked above? If he was explicit about being just a product trying to grow his market, I would be ok with him, but as the OpEd makes clear, he believes he's a sex educator and LGBT justice advocate. At least, that's my read of his OpEd. I have a serious problem with that because as he openly admits, he intentionally uses an old school and sexist presentation of his topics. If he really wanted to help create a better world, it with be a more balanced and equitable show.

 

Interesting. I found the Huffington Post piece more troublesome than anything fluffy little Davey comes up with. Yes, I thought Davey's little rant on ageism was inauthentic, but David Connor's op ed was laced with envy and bitterness.

 

Agesim is just a fact of life. We were all young once and the majority of us were guilty of it. I don't think it's the responsibility of the young to "fix" ageism. They should just enjoy their youth and acquire the coping skills that older people need to have. Getting old sucks. Lines in your face, and muscles that don't want to stay toned anymore, are not fun; but with age should come some wisdom and perspective. At least enough not to get all bent out of shape when 20-somethings don't find you attractive or want to hang out with you.

 

Juan has said this a couple times recently. "Find your tribe." So simple but so profound. Just because your tribe is not 20-something gym bunnies doesn't mean they have to change or have an obligation to be more inclusive. They will all eventually age out of that tribe and move on to another. Kind of the circle of life -- especially gay life.

[LADoug1]

He lost me at how he said and used "pervert."

 

If it had been lighter in tone, I might have seen it as a bit of self-referential humor, but no.

 

I'll stick to people like Dan Savage, Cunning Minx, or even Dr. Ruth. None of them are completely perfect, but they're more sex positive and open-minded to me than this guy.

Use of "pervert " was a deal breaker for me too. And kudus to Juan who is almost always (99.9%) on target with his comments!

[+ Gar1eth]

Now I know why I love our Gman.

 

 

It's obviously because I'm so lovable!!!

 

 

http://i1262.photobucket.com/albums/ii612/rexmaker/C7D60BD9-C0DA-42B5-AC1A-416B4E91BBB9_zpsaq9mcsrq.jpeg

 

Gman

[Juan Vancouver]

Only as a point of order, Juan, could you remind me what Dear Vickie taught us?

 

Gman

 

My point, Gman, which I was too busy the other day to address, is that the Victorian heritage of ouvert shame, guilt, repression and the constant desire for denial and or sublimation of the sexual impulse is much preferable to someone who presents himself as an open minded sex educator, a revolutionary, a liberated connoisseur, who instead of spreading knowledge, acceptance and love subliminally spreads nothing but more shame, guilt, prudishness and a generalized unease with sexuality and all of its forms.

 

It's easier to deal with someone who calls you a sinner, and a pervert, and dirty and immoral. These judgments obviously come from a lack of knowledge and internalized fear of their own sexuality. It is very easy for the psyche to see this judgment as coming from "the other" and it is not too hard for an adult to dissociate from it.

 

When someone who claims to be on your side, however, continuously communicates messages of insidious shame and guilt and disgust, it is much harder to be able to extricate yourself from the grip of these judgements. The way they are presented it is almost as if the shame and guilt is coming from me, from my own team, from the most enlightened member of my own team.

 

That, for people learning about sexuality, could be the single most damaging message they will ever receive.