Marry A Woman?

[Guest njhottie28]

This should be quite a common quesiton -- is it? Maybe it was discussed here before. But anyone with any thought would be greatly appreciated.

 

I have been under much pressure getting married and raise a family of course. Is it possible for a gay man to get married with a woman? Technically, can they make out smoothly? Many instances seem to show they can, but I am just wondering, how can a man ejaculate if his penis can not even be hard? further, will this marriage always be a tragedy?

 

Aside from the point of "fair or not to this woman", for myself, sex is just part of the life. Why can't we find Love, instead of passion, in a woman? and if we can, why does it matter if your spouse is a man or a woman? tks.

[Retired Fly Boy]

Under pressure to get married.Under pressure from who, your family? One must live life to make yourself happy, not your parents. You have to be honest with a woman and not live a lie. When she finds out it will truly be tragic. Look at the Gov. of New Jersey, who was he kidding?

[mansniffing]

Never trouble trouble until trouble troubles you. That's what you're asking for when you attempt to live a double life. Besides, it's not fair to the lady in question. I've known a number of gay men who married and later divorced under very unhappy circumstances. One of them was my best friend . During the marriage life was miserable for him. He agrees now that he should never have put his wife trhough it.

[Guest]

>Aside from the point of "fair or not to this woman"

 

Marriage is a life commitment. How can scarring a woman's life be "aside from the point"? I could almost think that this posting was just flame bait, but just last night we had over an old friend and his new boyfriend of four months who's going through a divorce, having recently come out to his wife. Although he says that the divorce is fairly amicable (although the details of his alimony payments and child support for three kids have yet to be hammered out), it certainly leaves his wife and kids in an awkward situation. Unless both halves of this marriage are going in with full knowledge of what's going on, subjecting a woman to this type of marriage is the ultimate in selfishness. Quite frankly, it boggles my mind that someone would even consider it.

What's more, I can't imagine that there are too many men who've done such a thing and ended up with emotionally satisfying lives. Where exactly do you think such a decision will leave you?

[Rick Munroe]

>I have been under much pressure getting married and raise a

>family of course. Is it possible for a gay man to get married

>with a woman?

 

Yes, and it's also possible to settle down with another man and raise a family with him. Try that instead.

[Guest njhottie28]

Thanks for all your opinions. Points taken.

 

But one thing might be confusing....the condition, of course, should be that the woman loves me and I feel I can build some kind of "love" with her. I am just asking if this Love is possible? and strong enough for a family? You know, when lovers are becoming families, sex is not the only thing to sustain love.

 

To make a life long commitment with a man will be easier for a gay man, but in reality, to be honest, I want my own children. If I can develop love between a woman and I, and she is willing to do that...can't it be a happy family?

[Guest Mikel]

Call me old fashion, but why in your original post and now in this one, do you regard marital "sex" and marital "love" as two distinct entities? I think in a marriage, same sex or hetereo, they don't have to be so distinct. IMHO, I think one of the reasons divorce rates are so high is that too many people perceive no link between sex and love.

[Retired Fly Boy]

You sound like you want someone to tell you, yes this is ok. Does this woman who loves you know you are gay? If she is young, sex is very important to her. Women need and want sex well into their sixties my man. It is part of the love and attention they desire. If you tell her now you are homosexual, she will not marry you! You better get some professional counseling before you get too involved. Wanting your own children is selfish on your part. Just wait till they find out daddy is gay and they will sooner or later. They will take their mother's side and tell you to get lost. In a divorce, her lawyer will take you apart. How would you feel if some woman married you and you found out she was a lesbian? She just wanted your sperm to have her own children. This will never work out, and any counselor you talk to will tell you so. When you marry, you are her husband and her lover! You are not some king who needs a wife to provide an heir to your throne. What about your sex life, do you plan to hire some boys to satisfy you? If you do not provide her with a happy sex life, she will find it with a boyfriend. Time to truthful with the lady.

[Candyman]

It's called being BiSexual. Yes you can have it all. A loving wife and fantastic children and more. Sex makes up a very small part of a happy life that you can share with another. Email me and I give you a true story of love that has no bounds

[Rick Munroe]

>It's called being BiSexual. Yes you can have it all.

 

But he isn't bi. In his first post, he asks, "how can a man ejaculate if his penis can not even be hard?" This is not someone who is attracted to both men and women; it is a gay man who thinks he must marry a woman in order to have kids.

[woodlawn]

>Thanks for all your opinions. Points taken.

>

>But one thing might be confusing....the condition, of course,

>should be that the woman loves me and I feel I can build some

>kind of "love" with her. I am just asking if this Love is

>possible? and strong enough for a family? You know, when

>lovers are becoming families, sex is not the only thing to

>sustain love.

 

Despite all the jabber on this board, there really is no one who can answer the questions you are asking except you and the woman you have in mind. Most of the people who are responding have agendas of their own that they want to validate by pushing you in one direction or another. Ignore them. The only way to find out whether the arrangement you want is possible is to explore it with the woman in question. That, of course, can only be done if you and she are completely honest with each other about what you expect from the relationship. If that condition is fulfilled, then each of you must trust your own perceptions of what will happen if you give it a try. No one can look into the future and tell you what will or will not happen if you go ahead or tell you that you would really be happier doing something else. The two of you must rely on your own judgment.

[Candyman]

The perfect answer Woodlawn