Dating

[+ Lance_Navarro]

As an escort, I work from the energy of love and I believe that in order to share love with others, one needs to have an abundance of it in their own lives. This doesn't mean they need to be in a bf/partner relationship, but they DO need to surround themselves with good people who lift them up and encourage/inspire them. I agree that many guys would not be comfortable dating a sex-worker, however I think that's a great filter that keeps away guys that aren't secure enough to handle it.

 

I personally have an AMAZING partner, whom I've been with for almost 5 years. He is a hair stylist and salon owner and is equally passionate about his work, which I think is a big part of why he respects and admires the work I do. He is sexy enough to do sex-work himself but he acknowledges that it's not something he could do.

 

We are both major home-bodies and our relationship works because we respect each other and always put one another first. If we have plans, I would never take an appointment instead and I don't take last minute evening appointments.

[ChrisWydeman]

Finding someone to get invovled with can be very difficult but I don't think it has much to do with the line of work your in. If someone is mature and experienced, escorting should be a non issue. Now if you know any handsome doctors or lawyers send them my way, rocket scientists are acceptable too

[geminibear]

Finding someone to get invovled with can be very difficult but I don't think it has much to do with the line of work your in. If someone is mature and experienced, escorting should be a non issue. Now if you know any handsome doctors or lawyers send them my way, rocket scientists are acceptable too

Does future Green Dragon Slayer count? If so count me in.

 

See below for further clarification.

 

I realize that this is a terribly important subject for almost all of us here. But I hope people won't mind a minor interlude.

 

 

 

 

I've been in a tizzy all day hoping against hope that @Truereview isn't color-blind.

 

Gman

 

Just booked a flight to OKC! This is somebody I got to meet. Will check firearms in checked luggage.

 

If anything happens to me, remember to tell the police you think my younger brother did it. There is a note in my gun safe that conveys as much.

[+ Gar1eth]

Finding someone to get invovled with can be very difficult but I don't think it has much to do with the line of work your in. If someone is mature and experienced, escorting should be a non issue. Now if you know any handsome doctors or lawyers send them my way, rocket scientists are acceptable too

 

 

I don't know, @ChrisWydeman, I can think that some boyfriends might be fairly liberal in many ways, but put their foots (feet) down at having their boyfriend 'be' with anyone but them-not to mention the fact they might not particularly like that you'll Often be working at night.

 

Gman

[+ Lance_Navarro]

I don't know, @ChrisWydeman, I can think that some boyfriends might be fairly liberal in many ways, but put their foots (feet) down at having their boyfriend 'be' with anyone but them-not to mention the fact they might not particularly like that you'll Often be working at night.

 

Gman

Well, people make the decision to be consensually non-monogamous regardless of whether one or both of them are sex-workers. I don't have alot of sex outside of my partner and clients, however the option is there for both me and my partner. It's all about trust, respect and boundaries. Also, I don't actually work that many nights.

[MikeyGMin]

I find it fascinating that clients keep telling escorts - - who are actually in relationships - - how difficult or impossible it must be. They keep imposing their ideas and relationship boundaries on men who obviously have a different outlook based on their chosen work.

 

It's a weird dynamic. Like..."We love you guys, but if we were to ever fall in love with each other, you would have to stop being who you are."

 

I'm a jealous person, but I admire men who are not. I totally understand how two confident men can be in a committed relationship with different boundaries.

[ChrisWydeman]

I don't know, @ChrisWydeman, I can think that some boyfriends might be fairly liberal in many ways, but put their foots (feet) down at having their boyfriend 'be' with anyone but them-not to mention the fact they might not particularly like that you'll Often be working at night.

 

Gman

I can understand having insecurities and oddly enough the only issue my boyfriends have had while I escorted is that I made more than them. But as for guys being insecure about me having sex with someone else I would never be a mongomus relationship. Navigating ethical nonmonogomy can be very difficult but the communication skills as well as learning to be introspective make it worth it for me.

 

I am in the monogamish camp, I occasionally like to play but more often than not I just want my partner. I have been told on dates someone isn't comfortable with me escorting and I can respect that it just means there not a match. Being told someone doesn't want to date me because of my profession doesn't ruffle my feathers in the least

[+ Gar1eth]

Well, people make the decision to be consensually non-monogamous regardless of whether one or both of them are sex-workers. I don't have alot of sex outside of my partner and clients, however the option is there for both me and my partner. It's all about trust, respect and boundaries. Also, I don't actually work that many nights.

 

I can understand having insecurities and oddly enough the only issue my boyfriends have had while I escorted is that I made more than them. But as for guys being insecure about me having sex with someone else I would never be a mongomus relationship. Navigating ethical nonmonogomy can be very difficult but the communication skills as well as learning to be introspective make it worth it for me.

 

I am in the monogamish camp, I occasionally like to play but more often than not I just want my partner. I have been told on dates someone isn't comfortable with me escorting and I can respect that it just means there not a match. Being told someone doesn't want to date me because of my profession doesn't ruffle my feathers in the least

 

With me not ever having had a relationship and y'all having had at least one and possibly several, I obviously have to defer to both of you. As long as in your cases both you and your partners are happy that's all that really matters whether anyone else understands it or not.

 

Gman

[Juan Vancouver]

I find it fascinating that clients keep telling escorts - - who are actually in relationships - - how difficult or impossible it must be.

 

Exactly!

 

"Nobody will want to buy tupperware!"

 

"Actually I made over six figures selling tupperware."

 

"Clearly your experience is aberrant, since nobody will want to buy it"

 

"Actually, I also make really good money selling it"

 

"That's what I thought! Nobody will want to buy it! Poor tupperware sellers... so impoverished, so hated by everyone."

[+ Gar1eth]

Exactly!

 

"Nobody will want to buy tupperware!"

 

"Actually I made over six figures selling tupperware."

 

"Clearly your experience is aberrant, since nobody will want to buy it"

 

"Actually, I also make really good money selling it"

 

"That's what I thought! Nobody will want to buy it! Poor tupperware sellers... so impoverished, so hated by everyone."

 

 

You sell Tupperware, Juan? Would you have any of these left in stock?

 

http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j12/itsallos/B7F4691A-BD16-4E19-A15A-876A4F95AF0A_zpsjoplm1x0.jpg

 

 

Gman

[Mikegaite]

http://i1377.photobucket.com/albums/ah75/avgaite/Mobile%20Uploads/image_zpsta8njvla.jpeg

This will make me sound horrible, but the idea of a married escort makes me cringe. I know that sound terrible, but I am owning it....

 

Hey Gurl!

[Juan Vancouver]

Well, I guess we will all go to bed tonight KNOWING that escorts simply cannot date. Nobody will want to. It's just too darned difficult.

 

Escorts are destined to end their lives alone... lest their repent and change their ways.

 

I stand corrected.

 

I will get off my soapbox and will go to bed. My love is getting impatient. It's so hard to fall asleep without cuddling.

 

Hugs to you all!

[BaronArtz]

There is no need to be so 'catty' about it.

 

I object to some of the opinions expressed here that, to put it simply, can be summarized as 'willingness to date an escort= secure' and 'not willing to date an escort = insecure'.

 

Not everybody is into open relationships. Not being into open relationships doesn't make you insecure. On the contrary. You know what you want and especially what you don't want. Dating an escort then brings another, added dimension to the open relationship. The guy will sleep around, as a business. In fact, as an illegal business. While the people on this forum, myself included, have no problem hiring escorts, let's recognize that there is a world out there that looks at illegal activities very differently.

 

My point is this: if you are going to be an escort, accept that your dating pool will be very small. Think about it before you enter the business, and have an exit strategy. It is fast money, but there is a price to pay.

[Mikegaite]

if you are going to be an escort, accept that your dating pool will be very small.

 

I respectfully disagree, based on:

 

Primary source: my personal experience

 

Secondary source: other escorts with whom I have spoken about the subject

 

Tertiary source: The forum members who have told me that they would be willing to date me in two seconds if I were available

 

Yes, there are large segments of the population that would not date me because I'm an escort, but my dating pool would hardly be small.

[Kuriousity]

There is no need to be so 'catty' about it.

 

I object to some of the opinions expressed here that, to put it simply, can be summarized as 'willingness to date an escort= secure' and 'not willing to date an escort = insecure'.

 

Not everybody is into open relationships. Not being into open relationships doesn't make you insecure. On the contrary. You know what you want and especially what you don't want. Dating an escort then brings another, added dimension to the open relationship. The guy will sleep around, as a business. In fact, as an illegal business. While the people on this forum, myself included, have no problem hiring escorts, let's recognize that there is a world out there that looks at illegal activities very differently.

 

My point is this: if you are going to be an escort, accept that your dating pool will be very small. Think about it before you enter the business, and have an exit strategy. It is fast money, but there is a price to pay.

 

 

I guess you and I are just traditionalist squares....buy you a drink?

[BaronArtz]

I respectfully disagree, based on:

 

Primary source: my personal experience

 

Secondary source: other escorts with whom I have spoken about the subject

 

Tertiary source: The forum members who have told me that they would be willing to date me in two seconds if I were available

 

Yes, there are large segments of the population that would not date me because I'm an escort, but my dating pool would hardly be small.

 

I don't doubt it, and I am delighted to hear it is working for you. Reading your post though, it really seems like your dating pool remains limited to other escorts/clients/forum members. That's not a huge population. Of the forum members who said they'd like to date you, and assuming they are serious (!), what percentage do you think would expect you to stop escorting?

[Kuriousity]

I never should have posted that fucking question to begin with...

[Juan Vancouver]

I object to some of the opinions expressed here that, to put it simply, can be summarized as 'willingness to date an escort= secure' and 'not willing to date an escort = insecure'.

 

That might be what you are reading into it, but what has been written is different. Open relationships are simply not for everyone. Some like them, some don't. Some like them and still find them difficult.

 

You are perfectly entitled to choose whatever the fuck you want for yourself. But for God's sakes, stop trying to convince us that your hateful limited view of the world is universally true. It ain't.

 

My point is this: if you are going to be an escort, accept that your dating pool will be very small. Think about it before you enter the business, and have an exit strategy. It is fast money, but there is a price to pay.

 

Jesus Christ! You just won't stop, will you!

 

I actually would like to amend this: If you are intelligent, your dating pool is quite limited. It's a curse, but it is also a huge blessing.

 

ANY intelligent person understands that he/she can't /shouldn't date everyone. That would really suck. From the limited dating pool, however, one is able to find wonderful people with whom you can grow and share.

 

Yes, since I am an escort I won't be able to date the enormous pool of stuck ups, hillbillies, close minded, judgmental people who can barely see beyond their own nose and would be unable to see the beautiful, loving work that this is. Luckily, I am only attracted to men whose intelligence allows them to see beyond what their society taught them.

 

I assume that since you are not an escort your dating pool is huge. You must be constantly juggling several partners at a time... except you are not into non monogamy, I forgot. I sincerely wish you enjoy your pool, and I true to god hope you will stop inflicting your hurtful beliefs on to others.

 

I never should have posted that fucking question to begin with...

 

Why? Don't like intelligent discussions, do you?

 

If we all came here to agree and strengthen our many biases, this would not be a forum, this would be a Party.

 

I for one am thrilled this subject came up again and many thriving escorts shared with us their marital status. I love to see loving, caring, intelligent men thriving.

[+ Gar1eth]

Pretty simple, I do not date lol. I can't be a hypocrite and date others when I wouldn't want my partner to be an escort. 99.9 percent of guys would just end it then and there if I told them my occupation is escorting. If by miracle anyone gave me a chance then I would feel they would use it as leverage whenever we had an argument. Relationships are hard enough this just adds another layer to it. So I simply just chose to stop dating when I decided to escort. I do feel like it could work if it the relationship contained both escorts because you understand the business. But even then I wouldn't want to date another escort... when I'm in a relationship I want that person to be mine and no one else's and vice versa. Luckily I had two long term relationship before I started doing this seriously so its out of my system at least for now

 

I understand your points. I only hope you aren't too lonely. Here you are being other guys fantasies of a perfect boyfriend. But no one to be yours.

 

Gman

[+ WmClarke]

It takes someone special to be an escort*.

 

It takes someone special to date one.

 

Easy to understand, really.

 

 

 

*Obviously, I'm talking by about the good ones, not the ones who scam clients or don't provide good companionship.

[+ Gar1eth]

I understand your points. I only hope you aren't too lonely. Here you are being other guys fantasies of a perfect boyfriend. But no one to be yours.

 

Gman

all you daddies i talk to online and meet in person show me plenty of love so I'm never really lonely

 

 

That's very sweet of you. Try not ignore your needs for too long though. You're young. If you want, you could have an escort career for years. But having relationships in both the straight and gay worlds get more difficult to find the older you are.

 

Gman

[MikeyGMin]

That's very sweet of you. Try not ignore your needs for too long though. You're young. If you want, you could have an escort career for years. But having relationships in both the straight and gay worlds get more difficult to find the older you are.

 

Gman

 

True dat!! Lock that shit down while you are in your prime!

[JamahlBrandon]

Pretty simple, I do not date lol. I can't be a hypocrite and date others when I wouldn't want my partner to be an escort. 99.9 percent of guys would just end it then and there if I told them my occupation is escorting. If by miracle anyone gave me a chance then I would feel they would use it as leverage whenever we had an argument

 

Hey there...

 

I used to be confused on relationships when it came down to being accepted as an escort. I had a lot of rejections, but I had those who accepted me. The ones who rejected me, usually used it as an easy way out...and to basically play the field and date multiple people and be sneaky about it. The ones who accepted it, wouldn't use these things in an argument.

 

I don't think 99% of guys would end it there and then. If they did, you dodged a bullet and good riddens. Most guys who do that are the insecure, overprotective ones who would probably just as easily do the same (I know because a guy who used to criticize me for being an escort a few years ago, was cheating on his boyfriend with another guy, who was also sleeping with my friend's boyfriend). Talk about pot calling kettle black and glass houses.

 

I had a guy I was dating join me in Palm Springs. He found out I was an escort a couple days after we met. We continued on and him finding out didn't make him end up right away. He still wanted this. However, I respected our time together and didn't take on any clients while we were together. Some escorts when dating, are too quick to run off to take a last minute appointment during a date. That's why I usually go for normal working guys. Our relationship didn't work out, but it was more due to distance than me being an escort.

[ChrisWydeman]

I moved to Chicago last September and have been on a few dates most of which were just awful. I wouldn't say dating as an escort is hard, I would say that dating in general is.

 

Date #1

The guy is bombshell, a short built latino guy thats very intelligent. I think to myself hey this guy seems to be the whole package so I should ask him out. We go out on a date and he won't shut the fuck up about his ex boyfriend so I figure I might as well have some fun with him even if its not going to go any where. As we are fucking he says, "WOW!!! ***** didn't used to do it like that!" to which I ended the play session and sent him on his way

 

Date#2

This one was a personal trainer with a perfect body with an amazing educational background. Again seems like the whole package so I prepose a lunch date. We meet and get along pretty well but I can sense something is off and about 20 minutes in after have ordered he tells me that he "really likes me and feels a connection" to which I think oh lord the follow up to this is going to be bad and he doesn't disappoint. He tells me that he was arrested for selling crystal meth but he is sober now (good for him?) which MAYBE I could deal with because I understand that chemical dependency is a biological issue not some moral failing and people make bad decisions in the height of there addiction? Then more comes out...apparently he has to turn himself in at the end of the month for sentencing and will be in jail for a couple years but he would really like to get to know me and "we can be pen pals" AND "maybe when I get out we can be boyfriends?". I sip my water, nod and get the check.

 

Date #3

So bad I don't even want to write it down

 

Moral of the story is...I think I am getting a cat and giving up on dating.

[Juan Vancouver]

Can you just imagine being an escort and in a relationship with a person who's not in this business and lets say you two are having a date night or hanging out or whatever and you get a phone call/text from a client or regular who wants to meet now. Like what the hell do you do or say? Do you just be honest and tell him you have to leave now bc you have to go do business, i mean any boyfriend overtime no whatever how strong they are it would bother them, i don't know its just my 2 cents from a young boy here

 

I don't have to imagine that. I have lived that many, many times.

 

Of course you are honest with your partner. Why would you hide anything from him? That is the whole point about being in a relationship.

 

Also, I very seldom take the "Are you available this very minute" kind of calls. Normally I have my schedule planned in advance, but every now and then I will have to decide to leave a private function to go to work. It's not all that easy. You have to learn to prioritize, and sometimes work will take the priority, sometimes on special occasions phone goes off and you focus on your relationship. It's all about finding balance and communicating openly with your partner. It might be awkward at first, but very soon it becomes a non issue.

 

I am not saying it's not bothersome, but most professionals have to deal with their work invading their private life. An ex of mine once lived with a doctor who was called to work all the time at the weirdest of moments. He could not say no, life an death, you know. My ex always used to say that being with me was way less stressful and easier to deal with.

 

All professions have their challenges, all relationships have their friction areas. One should not avoid situations just because one knows one will encounter challenges. One grabs the bull by the horns, faces the challenges, communicates, learns, negotiates and grows.

 

I am not saying you should enter a relationship or that you should change your mind about it, I am just sharing with you that doing this in a very healthy way is actually not only possible, but very achievable.

 

You CAN have your cake and snuggle with it at night.