Not a sexual person..

[Spida]

A few of us and a new friend was talking about sex the other night. This friend is a hot 26yo guy, who jokes about sex a bit, he is very cute and I have been in bars with him he is always getting hit on by hot guys. So I inquired if he was in a relationship or what because he always turns these guys down. He told us that he is not a sexual person, he hardly masterbates he said maybe once every 2 to 3 months and he has been active in the gay community for years and has only had sex 4x in his whole life.

 

He just doesn't care about sex! I am guessing due to the nature of the board most people are not like this, I know myself at 36 I am still very much a sexual person, I can't walk down the street and see hot guys, or even semi hot guys without thinking of sex. There is seldom a day that goes by that sex is not part of my talk or action (even if it is all by my lonesome ;-)

 

I just thought this was interesting, and a bit of a waste he is really hot, sort of like a straight hot guy what a waste!

[guptasa1]

It happens. Sometimes there are scientific reasons behind it. For example, I believe a low level of testosterone can lead to a low libido, etc. There might also be psychological causes. Or maybe some people just really don't care about it that much. *shrugs* Interesting though. Me, I'm a horndog. =oP

[Juan Vancouver]

"Me, I'm a horndog."

 

..... :-) Fortunately enough.... we already noticed!!!

 

(I LOVE horndogs, because when I see them I feel less lonely in the world ;-) )

 

A big hug!

[fedssocr1]

This is interesting. I find myself to be less "sexual" than I used to be for sure. I still take care of myself several times a week, but I find I have less urge to hire than in the past. I definitely see lots of cute guys all day every day and sure I think about sex...but it just isn't that big a deal.

 

I agree about the waste of hot str8 guys. I have good friend that I work with who I think is totally gorgeous and he's also extremely nice. I fantasize about him a lot. He doesn't seem to be very sexual at all either in that he never talks about girls much, but he's a good Filipino catholic boy so maybe that has something to do with it. Or maybe since he knows I'm gay he just doesn't want to make me uncomfortable.

[taylorky]

interesting topic!

 

we have never understood y people r so obsessed with sex,especially meaningless sex with people u don't even no.

 

sexual activity between people that have a real connection 2 each other is GREAT...but other than that it's just getting a nut,and hell u can do that alone.

 

4 just a minute ... think how much more fun it could b if people could c u as more than just a potential sex partner,if people could just b friends without wanting more...

[GRoca]

>>>we have never understood y people r so obsessed with sex,especially meaningless sex with people u don't even no.

 

sexual activity between people that have a real connection 2 each other is GREAT...but other than that it's just getting a nut,and hell u can do that alone.

 

4 just a minute ... think how much more fun it could b if people could c u as more than just a potential sex partner,if people could just b friends without wanting more...<<<

 

I couldn't agree with you more. I stopped having

sex- just for the sake of having sex, anymore.

It's become "regrettable sex" for one reason, or

another.I have a few good friends who are also very

cute, but we do not have anything sexual going on.

Needless to say...these are long term friendships that

I've come to cherish. Nothing beats a BIG, nice warm and

sincere welcome hug, each time I see each one of them.

[hiJinX]

>interesting topic!

>

>we have never understood y people r so obsessed with

>sex,especially meaningless sex with people u don't even no.

>

>sexual activity between people that have a real connection 2

>each other is GREAT...but other than that it's just getting a

>nut,and hell u can do that alone.

>

 

 

You have an absolutely valid point, however the person in question has stated that he rarely masturbates so that points to a lowered or suppressed sex drive (perhaps voluntary, perhaps natural, perhaps because of some outside influence).

Voluntarily suppressing ones sexual drive can rechannel the energy to areas cosidered "more productive" if sex is seen as merely recreational (think monks...and scientists actually).

Having a naturally low sex drive is not impossible. It could be a hormonal thing.

Outside influences could be anything from some sort of abnormal introduction to sexuality during youth or simply having role models that were largely asexual.

 

I kind of had the latter case growing up surrounded by role models that were celibate who had an incredible effect on me.

Of course in my case that merely led to me becoming a twisted individual when I let slip the dogs of sex...but your mileage may vary. }(

[Guest Merlin]

You have heard the expression:"Use it or lose it". If someone regularly engages in sex, he will have a higher sex drive than if he seldom does. But it is not healthy for a 26 year old to have such a low sex drive. He is missing one of life's greatest gifts. He should consult a Doctor and be tested for testosterone level or other possible causes. But the problem may be psychological as well. If he suppresses his drive because he thinks it is sinful or wrong in some way, his drive may be lower from infrequent use. I suspect he will find himself 50 years old or so and suddenly discover that he has missed out on an important part of his life. If you know him well enough, I suggest that you discuss it with him. If possible, suggest a Doctor known to be gay or gay friendly. He may be too embarrassed to talk to a Doctor. But if he feels comfortable as he is, he probably will not be willing to do something.

[Trixie]

I have a feeling that your friend is probably more sexual than he lets on, but perhaps he feels that he can't or shouldn't pursue it.

People avoid sex for all sorts of reasons,

perhaps he experiences some sort of impotency, or suffers from frigidity. Maybe he thinks he's "underequipped". Being unable to function sexually, whether it's a physical or mental block, is a terribly lonely and private situation, and most likely not something your friend would feel comfortable chatting about over frappucini at Starbucks.

Given the extreme sexual competition we witness in most bar scenes these days, and the callous & superficial attitude it fosters, he may not feel comfortable in such situations. Chances are if he's been rejected the morning after once or twice,

especially for some reason he has no control over, he's not going to feel especially inclined to keep on trying.

 

Trix