My Two Heads Are In Opposition

[+ Gar1eth]

I've mentioned in another thread about the writer Christopher Isherwood being 30 years older than his partner

Don Bachardy, they having met when Bachardy was 18. So I'd say it's possible, not stupid, but not probable

to expect anything more than a hot date with a 19 year old.

 

 

My therapist at the time wanted me to see the movie by Isherwood-A Single Man. He thought it would be good for my issues with being gay. I didn't want to. I didn't think watching a movie about guys in a relationship which I didn't (and don't) think I'll ever have-and then doesn't someone die in the movie(?)-would be very helpful to me at all.

[Rod Hagen]

My therapist at the time wanted me to see the movie by Isherwood-A Single Man. He thought it would be good for my issues with being gay. I didn't want to. I didn't think watching a movie about guys in a relationship which I didn't (and don't) think I'll ever have-and then doesn't someone die in the movie(?)-would be very helpful to me at all.

Also, it's not a good movie. The excellent book MAY help you, depending on the issues.

[Rod Hagen]

Go see the movie "Boy Next Door".

 

How was it? I Loved the line in the Trailer, "I Love your Mom's cookies". Cracked me up every time.

[+ Gar1eth]

My therapist at the time wanted me to see the movie by Isherwood-A Single Man. He thought it would be good for my issues with being gay. I didn't want to. I didn't think watching a movie about guys in a relationship which I didn't (and don't) think I'll ever have-and then doesn't someone die in the movie(?)-would be very helpful to me at all.

 

Also, it's not a good movie. The excellent book MAY help you, depending on the issues.

 

I still don't plan to watch it although I like Colin Firth. But was it just that you didn't like it? It received a 7.6/10 on IMDb, 85% on Rotten Tomatoes, and 3/4 by Roger Ebert.

 

Gman

[LADoug1]

Also, it's not a good movie. The excellent book MAY help you, depending on the issues.

I hated "A Single Man". Too stereotypical.

[Rod Hagen]

3/4 by Roger Ebert.

The character in the film is not who Isherwood was, a fruumpy, brilliant man. It demonstrated less than zero fidelity to the character. The movie is nothing but a chance for Tom Ford to be Tom Ford.

[+ Gar1eth]

The character in the film is not who Isherwood was, a fruumpy, brilliant man. It demonstrated less than zero fidelity to the character. The movie is nothing but a chance for Tom Ford to be Tom Ford.

 

 

Off subject, but how funny. I had a friend named Tom Ford in elementary school. He lived in Texas too. But my Tom is not the Tom you are speaking of.

 

Gman

[ZCochrane]

I haven't posted because there was nothing to post. But about two weeks ago, it looked like we were about to meet either that night or in the next few days. I had always been planning on seeing his ID before we met even before that suggestion from the Forum.

 

We were texting, and I told him I needed to see his ID and why. He replied, "Yes." I asked him to text it to me, and our conversation went dead. He suddenly wasn't there. He would leave conversations suddenly without warning very frequently either on Grindr or direct texting. I had told him before I didn't like that. He said he wouldn't do it again and kept doing it.

 

He initiated a few conversations over the next few days. But I didn't answer. I also initiated a few that he didn't respond back to. When we finally reconnected, I mentioned the above episode, and he said something about not receiving the text.

 

I wasn't in the mood to deal with him again until last week. I'm already thinking this meeting may very well never occur. Finally last week he texts me and says he 'wants me'. I tell him I'm not going to meet him without seeing an ID beforehand. He says ok. Then he tells me that while everything else he's told me is true, he's actually only 18 and not 19. He then texts me his ID. But it's a state ID not a driver's license. I wonder if he doesn't drive yet. I kept asking him to meet me for coffee, and he never would. His name on the ID matched up to the name I found on web searching his phone number. So I'm fairly sure the ID was authentic.

 

I, however, am very leery of being with an 18 year old-I as of now wouldn't knowingly meet with someone still in high school whether my school or not. I'm also not the right guy to initiate someone into sex if they've never had it before. I'm not a rough guy or anything. From a caring standpoint I'd be one of the best. I've never been with someone whose never had sex before. I don't know how to teach them to relax. And I think a good first experience, especially for a bottom, is key.

 

When I asked him after his big reveal whether he had graduated yet, whether he was still living at home, and whether he had had sex before, he stopped answering me.

 

And there my story ends without a bang in sight.

[tyro]

On to the next, ZC.

T

[+ José Soplanucas]

just move on. I advised you earlier on to go for him, but I changed my mind. It doesn't smell well, and I think your guts are warning you about the danger. Block him. I understand you are moving to a new location. Leave him behind and move on.

[Frequentflier]

I haven't posted because there was nothing to post. But about two weeks ago, it looked like we were about to meet either that night or in the next few days. I had always been planning on seeing his ID before we met even before that suggestion from the Forum.

 

We were texting, and I told him I needed to see his ID and why. He replied, "Yes." I asked him to text it to me, and our conversation went dead. He suddenly wasn't there. He would leave conversations suddenly without warning very frequently either on Grindr or direct texting. I had told him before I didn't like that. He said he wouldn't do it again and kept doing it.

 

He initiated a few conversations over the next few days. But I didn't answer. I also initiated a few that he didn't respond back to. When we finally reconnected, I mentioned the above episode, and he said something about not receiving the text.

 

I wasn't in the mood to deal with him again until last week. I'm already thinking this meeting may very well never occur. Finally last week he texts me and says he 'wants me'. I tell him I'm not going to meet him without seeing an ID beforehand. He says ok. Then he tells me that while everything else he's told me is true, he's actually only 18 and not 19. He then texts me his ID. But it's a state ID not a driver's license. I wonder if he doesn't drive yet. I kept asking him to meet me for coffee, and he never would. His name on the ID matched up to the name I found on web searching his phone number. So I'm fairly sure the ID was authentic.

 

I, however, am very leery of being with an 18 year old-I as of now wouldn't knowingly meet with someone still in high school whether my school or not. I'm also not the right guy to initiate someone into sex if they've never had it before. I'm not a rough guy or anything. From a caring standpoint I'd be one of the best. I've never been with someone whose never had sex before. I don't know how to teach them to relax. And I think a good first experience, especially for a bottom, is key.

 

When I asked him after his big reveal whether he had graduated yet, whether he was still living at home, and whether he had had sex before, he stopped answering me.

 

And there my story ends without a bang in sight.

 

I think you're best to play elsewhere and older. Hope nobody takes offense but my views are based in part on:

 

1) I'm guessing you want to teach again after your doctorate. Even an arrest for solicitation or whatever wouldn't be good for your teaching career, right? So unless you're ready to risk that you are probably, like most of us, better off with a well reviewed escort off this site or another. Get arrested, even if later acquitted or charges dropped, for anyone you were with labelled a "student" and that's likely really problematic for a teacher at any level.

2) I had a fake ID when I was under 18 to guy alcohol. I don't think I ever did but lots of us had them. I would stay away from anyone that overstated their age and wouldn't assume I could tell a fake ID from a real one. I'm not a lawyer but I don't think a defense is that you relied on a fake ID; I think you'd be screwed and not in the way you'd hope.

3) Some members on this site, and they are right, say not to have this escort thing as a hobby if you're not ready to face the consequences of your hobby becoming public. Like I said, they are right BUT there is good reason to be very cautious to minimize your risk.

4) You are a grown, highly educated (and about to get more highly educated) man talking with someone about whether they've graduated high school, whether they live at home, etc. STOP - HALT - DON'T DO IT - TAKE A COLD SHOWER. Find someone very obviously older and living independently.

[ZCochrane]

I think you're best to play elsewhere and older. Hope nobody takes offense but my views are based in part on:

 

1) I'm guessing you want to teach again after your doctorate. Even an arrest for solicitation or whatever wouldn't be good for your teaching career, right? So unless you're ready to risk that you are probably, like most of us, better off with a well reviewed escort off this site or another. Get arrested, even if later acquitted or charges dropped, for anyone you were with labelled a "student" and that's likely really problematic for a teacher at any level.

2) I had a fake ID when I was under 18 to guy alcohol. I don't think I ever did but lots of us had them. I would stay away from anyone that overstated their age and wouldn't assume I could tell a fake ID from a real one. I'm not a lawyer but I don't think a defense is that you relied on a fake ID; I think you'd be screwed and not in the way you'd hope.

3) Some members on this site, and they are right, say not to have this escort thing as a hobby if you're not ready to face the consequences of your hobby becoming public. Like I said, they are right BUT there is good reason to be very cautious to minimize your risk.

4) You are a grown, highly educated (and about to get more highly educated) man talking with someone about whether they've graduated high school, whether they live at home, etc. STOP - HALT - DON'T DO IT - TAKE A COLD SHOWER. Find someone very obviously older and living independently.

 

You make good points. But I doubt the meeting is going to come off anyway. A) While I can't say it will always, currently the age of 18 makes me a bit queasy -although the age of consent is 16, and I'm fairly sure he showed me a real ID B) He hasn't contacted me since then.

 

Oh and he's not an escort. He liked my (Grand)Daddy-bod.

[LADoug1]

He then texts me his ID. But it's a state ID not a driver's license. I wonder if he doesn't drive yet

 

Good catch. I may not have thought of that .