Proving vaginas are tougher than assholes

[AdamSmith]

 

Woman steals tourist's $25K Rolex, hides it inside her vagina: cops

Shacarye Tims allegedly went with an Australian visitor back to his Holiday Inn room, got him to take off the timepiece, then tried to leave the hotel with it while he was searching for it. She purportedly slapped him when confronted and later a female cop said she saw Tims pull the watch 'out of her vaginal cavity and hand it to me.’

http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1983895.1414021818!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/article_635/article-watch2-1022.jpg

http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/nyc-crime/woman-conceals-nyc-tourist-rolex-vagina-officials-article-1.1983589

[Kenny]

If it was in her va-jay-jay, it should have been a Timex: when it takes a licking, it keeps on ticking.

[AdamSmith]

Surprisingly it was not an Oyster Day/Date Perpetual.

[+ quoththeraven]

I like bad puns, but I'm a little sorry I read this thread. The headline alone made me clench (ahem) down there.

 

Though that suggests I should think of it the next time I hire. Might as well put all that clenching to good use.

[BaronArtz]

I am a gay male and the very thought of vag**na, va-j**-j** and the like totally grosses me out. Thank you for totally spoiling my appetite and my good mood this Sunday morning.

[AdamSmith]

all that clenching

 

http://a3.files.biography.com/image/upload/c_fill,cs_srgb,dpr_1.0,g_face,h_300,q_80,w_300/MTE5NDg0MDU0ODU3MjIxNjQ3.jpg

Hon. Elena Kegel

[AdamSmith]

Thank you for totally spoiling my appetite and my good mood this Sunday morning.

 

I blame the NY Daily News!

 

[MiamiLooker]

 

Woman steals tourist's $25K Rolex, hides it inside her vagina: cops

Shacarye Tims allegedly went with an Australian visitor back to his Holiday Inn room, got him to take off the timepiece, then tried to leave the hotel with it while he was searching for it. She purportedly slapped him when confronted and later a female cop said she saw Tims pull the watch 'out of her vaginal cavity and hand it to me.’

http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1983895.1414021818!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/article_635/article-watch2-1022.jpg

http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/nyc-crime/woman-conceals-nyc-tourist-rolex-vagina-officials-article-1.1983589

Did they find his missing bowling ball and set of golf clubs?

[gallahadesquire]

 

Woman steals tourist's $25K Rolex, hides it inside her vagina: cops

Shacarye Tims allegedly went with an Australian visitor back to his Holiday Inn room, got him to take off the timepiece, then tried to leave the hotel with it while he was searching for it. She purportedly slapped him when confronted and later a female cop said she saw Tims pull the watch 'out of her vaginal cavity and hand it to me.’

http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1983895.1414021818!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/article_635/article-watch2-1022.jpg

http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/nyc-crime/woman-conceals-nyc-tourist-rolex-vagina-officials-article-1.1983589

 

Yachtmaster II? In a Holiday Inn? Okay, that's just NOT going to fly.

[bigvalboy]

Did they find his missing bowling ball and set of golf clubs?

 

[Lookin]

I like bad puns, but I'm a little sorry I read this thread.

 

Apparently she was accused of snatching another Rolex in Brooklyn. http://www.boytoy.com/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif

[AdamSmith]

snatching

 

[mike carey]

Oh dear, don't go using the word 'snatch'!

[bostonman]

I am a gay male and the very thought of vag**na, va-j**-j** and the like totally grosses me out. Thank you for totally spoiling my appetite and my good mood this Sunday morning.

 

Oh, it's just a body part. Calm down.

[AdamSmith]

Princess Diana and the Queen are driving down the lane when their car is forced off the road by masked thieves. "Out of the car and hand over your jewels!"

 

After the thieves rob them and steal their car, Diana begins to put her earrings, necklace, and rings back on.

 

"Wherever did you hide those?" demanded the Queen.

 

"Where do you think?!" Diana replied.

 

"Pity Margaret wasn't here," mused the Queen. "We might have saved the Bentley."

 

Joan Rivers

[tyro]

Princess Diana and the Queen are driving down the lane when their car is forced off the road by masked thieves. "Out of the car and hand over your jewels!"

 

After the thieves rob them and steal their car, Diana begins to put her earrings, necklace, and rings back on.

 

"Wherever did you hide those?" demanded the Queen.

 

"Where do you think?!" Diana replied.

 

"Pity Margaret wasn't here," mused the Queen. "We might have saved the Bentley."

 

Joan Rivers

TOO funny!

T

[tyro]

I like bad puns, but I'm a little sorry I read this thread. The headline alone made me clench (ahem) down there.

 

Though that suggests I should think of it the next time I hire. Might as well put all that clenching to good use.

You WORK that thang, guuurrrllll!

T

[AdamSmith]

TOO funny!

T

 

http://cache1.asset-cache.net/gc/52120143-princess-margaret-at-the-state-opening-of-gettyimages.jpg?v=1&c=IWSAsset&k=2&d=nXlvAboy3xSbZPGMU4sBuPv0nmj3ASfzM0QnlgTx9ije6TSbypRuB6lLd6uRFDBZh2RndzUoOYySIqPz5SBweNgwxqV26H5b%2BDLNvv3V%2FUE%3D http://cache1.asset-cache.net/gc/71779339-queen-elizabeth-ii-and-prince-charles-the-gettyimages.jpg?v=1&c=IWSAsset&k=2&d=OCUJ5gVf7YdJQI2Xhkc2QC0Tfoc3m9aUHfk4x5AXRNk6p6Zi2V%2Bo77gzFlBlMEWGoF8hnBzYeYJZ3wHA%2Fmh6hQ%3D%3D

[+ quoththeraven]

I'd repeat the sentence George Carlin included in his Seven Dirty Words routine that used three different slang words for ladybits in an entirely wholesome, G-rated way, but I figure the reading audience has already been sufficiently traumatized for one day, so I'll just give you the words and let you look the routine up yourselves:

 

Snatch

Pussy

Box

[Guest Starbuck]

She was lovely--so blond, so slim--

And for a price, she’d play with him.

He kissed her lips, her toes, her hair.

He kissed her up and down and there.

She stroked his cheeks, his chest, his wrist,

And made him eager for their tryst,

But when his hand went to her crotch,

He found his missing Rolex watch.

[mmk123]

well to paraphrase John Cameron Swayze "that Rolex can take a licking and it will keep on ticking"

[Guest Starbuck]

I stored my Rolex in her box,

She didn't mind its ticks and tocks,

And only took it out for cocks.

[AdamSmith]

http://callisto.ggsrv.com/imgsrv/FastFetch/UBER1/sef_0001_0001_0_img0113

With most grievous dispatch

I shall open the latch

to get at her snatch!

 

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/79/pics/79smono1.jpg

And I believe it's derogatory to refer to a woman's breasts as "boobs," "jugs," "winnebagos" or "golden bozos"...and that you should only refer to them as "hooters."

And I believe you should put a woman on a pedestal...high enough so you can look up her dress.