Verbal Dom Top

[Guest ChrisW]

So this is a request that comes up a lot. What EXACTLY do clients want? The verbal dom tops I know would make you shit your pants and I am guessing you don't want to have to change your underwear every time you see your escort.

 

Do you want to be peed on? Peed in? Do you want me to tell you I am peeing on you while I am doing it? Do you want me to poop on you *shudder*? Do you want me to flog you? Do you want to be caned? Do you want to be cut? Do you want to be fisted? Do you want to be restrained? Do you want to be punched? Do you want me to narrate what I am doing in domineering way? Do you want me bark orders at you while I juggle cans of crisco? Do you want me to read you a bed time story in a menacing voice?

 

I am at a loss guys help me out.

[Guy Fawkes]

I want you to make me feel better than you do whilst I make you feel better than I do. (and lots of grunts and groans while I tease you within a inch of an explosion)

[Guest ChrisW]

Thats nebulous daddy

[TruHart1]

So this is a request that comes up a lot. What EXACTLY do clients want? The verbal dom tops I know would make you shit your pants and I am guessing you don't want to have to change your underwear every time you see your escort.

 

Do you want to be peed on? Peed in? Do you want me to tell you I am peeing on you while I am doing it? Do you want me to poop on you *shudder*? Do you want me to flog you? Do you want to be caned? Do you want to be cut? Do you want to be fisted? Do you want to be restrained? Do you want to be punched? Do you want me to narrate what I am doing in domineering way? Do you want me bark orders at you while I juggle cans of crisco? Do you want me to read you a bed time story in a menacing voice?

 

I am at a loss guys help me out.

 

I want you to take charge and tell me to be your obedient servant and/or slave. Tell me to obey your commands and make me happy to give in to your lustful needs and desires. This can vary from just dirty talk/commands to a little physical play like slowly building from teasing with little pinches/slaps to more intense punishments/pleasures. Always have a safe word for the client if he desires rough play. The actual level should be up to the sub.

 

WG & the other guys into this sort of play, feel free to chime in.

 

It's not really my scene but I have seen some of those Bound Gods videos!

 

TruHart1

[gallahadesquire]

I want to be bound in a man's arms, and smothered by his kisses.

 

How vanilla is that?

[Phil_musc]

Aww, gallahad, I knew we had similar tastes . . .

[+ SundayZip]

Hey Chris, If asked, I'd say that I like a verbal dom top, but my interpretation of this is likely to be very different from the next person. For me it's more about attitude than specific actions. When the escort takes initiative and control of even vanilla activities that is being a dominant top (assuming he's being the top in the vanilla activities).

 

A word of caution about the verbal part. You probably already know this, but the verbal thing can backfire if it doesn't come across as real. Don't try to imitate stuff you hear in porno moves unless it feels right. It has be natural for you. Pretend you're cooking for someone and getting feedback about what you're serving: "Hey buddy, you like the oregano in the sauce? It's nice isn't it? I know you like oregano given that you're such a hungry Italian." If the tone and inflection is natural for you -- more like natural conversation -- it will sound natural (and hot) to your client. Just my theory.

[wisconsinguy]

I believe it begins with the experience of the client. Then, communication with the client. I have only been hiring for a year. Before that, I spent months on the forum asking questions. One of the things that I asked was, "If an escort asks, 'what do you like?' What do I say??? I DON'T KNOW!" I believe the experience or lack of experience can give you a very good clue as how to proceed. And, a think the second most important factor is time. If it just an hour or two, and a client has no or little experience, you have a little more pressure to sort things through in a short time. I still consider myself a newbie. The learning curve has been outstanding. Best wishes.

[Guest ChrisW]

I want to be bound in a man's arms, and smothered by his kisses.

 

How vanilla is that?

 

My kind of guy

[Nvr2Thick]

I want you to take charge of your own pleasure and pursue it at my expense. If you're asking me what I want you're not the dominant top I crave.

[Guest ChrisW]

I want you to take charge of your own pleasure and pursue it at my expense. If you're asking me what I want you're not the dominant top I crave.

 

If I did what I want you probably wouldn't hire me again and it might require a hospital visit. I ask so a middle ground can be found so we can both find something we are interested in. If you expect your top to walk in and take control of you your in for a world of hurt. Kink is about negotiation and safety, scenes don't just happen like you see in porn

[Nvr2Thick]

If I did what I want you probably wouldn't hire me again and it might require a hospital visit. I ask so a middle ground can be found so we can both find something we are interested in. If you expect your top to walk in and take control of you your in for a world of hurt. Kink is about negotiation and safety, scenes don't just happen like you see in porn

 

To me your original post is a bit of a non-sequitur. When I look for a verbal dominant top I'm not looking for kink -- just a verbal dominant top. And I'm usually successful with both escorts and hookups when I screen for an honest dominant demeanor and then submit myself to the top. Even the best selfish tops have somewhat of a filter; they're not really enjoying themselves if they take it too far and overwhelm the bottom. I've had more than one tell me that I'm more accommodating than a lot of bottoms. As long as he's having a good time I can put up with a lot, probably because my pleasure feeds off of his.

[Guest ChrisW]

To me your original post is a bit of a non-sequitur. When I look for a verbal dominant top I'm not looking for kink -- just a verbal dominant top. And I'm usually successful with both escorts and hookups when I screen for an honest dominant demeanor and then submit myself to the top. Even the best selfish tops have somewhat of a filter; they're not really enjoying themselves if they take it too far and overwhelm the bottom. I've had more than one tell me that I'm more accommodating than a lot of bottoms. As long as he's having a good time I can put up with a lot, probably because my pleasure feeds off of his.

 

That D that we are talking about falls into BDSM which is kink unless I have missed something. What I am asking is how much of a filter do clients want?

[Nvr2Thick]

That D that we are talking about falls into BDSM which is kink unless I have missed something. What I am asking is how much of a filter do clients want?

 

OK. I can see that it's what you're talking about. I guess there's a big difference between a dominant top and a dom top. It's possible to dominate or be into being dominated without being into the D in BDSM. I'd say that the middle ground you're looking for would vary greatly from partner to partner. It's a neat discussion if you're into kink. The fact that you're at a loss makes me think you're looking for some sort of guidance on the forum, when what you'd really need to do is establish the guidelines with each partner and learn by communicating and paying attention to that partner from session to session.

 

I also think that some of it plays into my original answer. An instinctive total top knows how to drive a session. Someone who is more versatile is going to have to try a lot harder to figure out how to play that role.

[Guy Fawkes]

Why yes my perverted young cub... I'll be a tiny bit more explicit:

 

I guess I'm saying if you have to think about it; your not in the experience. I'd rather see your eyes roll back in your head and any conversation be involuntary when I'm playing with your nips. Keep it simple and to the point and it'll work out well.

 

My current favorite website is: http://www.menonedge.com which will probably answer most of your other questions.

 

Thats nebulous daddy

[Guest Wetnwildbear]

There is a Difference

 

So this is a request that comes up a lot. What EXACTLY do clients want? The verbal dom tops I know would make you shit your pants and I am guessing you don't want to have to change your underwear every time you see your escort.

 

Do you want to be peed on? Peed in? Do you want me to tell you I am peeing on you while I am doing it? Do you want me to poop on you *shudder*? Do you want me to flog you? Do you want to be caned? Do you want to be cut? Do you want to be fisted? Do you want to be restrained? Do you want to be punched? Do you want me to narrate what I am doing in domineering way? Do you want me bark orders at you while I juggle cans of crisco? Do you want me to read you a bed time story in a menacing voice?

 

I am at a loss guys help me out.

 

Hi Chris when we corresponded about meeting in Philly - I was clear enough about expectations that you did not feel that you were a good match

 

and I appreciated your honesty. .

 

I was seeking a DOM TOP - who was also Verbal --- Not a VERBAL Dom Top --- After all actions speak louder than words

[Juan Vancouver]

Verbal Dom Top. So this is a request that comes up a lot. What EXACTLY do clients want?

 

Chris, I have absolutely no bloody clue about what (all) clients want when they mention this (or any other) fetish. There's no way to know, trying to determine it would be pointless and an absolute waste of time.

 

How many times have we discussed terms like "Top", which should be pretty straightforward? When push comes to shove it turns out it means as many different things as there is people. Some think it means a man who penetrates during intercourse, some thinks it's a man who will passively accept the "bottom's" servicing, some think it's a man who does everything but getting fucked or suck cock, some think it means a S/M Dom master who will take all your power, some think it's just an Alpha guy, who is in charge but who does everything.

 

The list (literally) goes forever.

 

My recommendation would be to ask directly to every single client. "What exactly do you mean by this? What are your limits? What turns you on? What does your fantasy scene go?". More often than not you will be dumbfounded by the diversity of answers. I have been escorting ten years and at least 90% of the times I have asked this question I received an answer very different to what I was expecting.

 

If a client answers: "I don't want to talk about it. You decide. You are the top." I immediately know we are not a match. A successful session, BDSM or not, starts by communication and negotiation. Agreeing to take a session where I am supposed to fulfill a secret expectation is setting myself for failure... and it's not fun.

 

I want you to take charge of your own pleasure and pursue it at my expense..

 

This is a perfectly clear example of a concise answer. doesn't need to be a treatise. If a client tells me this I get a boner and know exactly what to do.

 

If you're asking me what I want you're not the dominant top I crave.

 

In the dating arena this might be true. But unless you are hiring angry gay for pay hustlers, an escort will -always- try to determine what is it that his client is looking for. Regardless of how dominant and assertive he is, his bread and butter lies in getting inside your head and ripping it a new asshole. This won't happen unless you give him enough to work with.

 

An instinctive total top knows how to drive a session.

 

God, I could not disagree more if I tried. Without information of where the session has to go, a top, regardless of how instinctive, is not a psychic. Even establishing that the client wants the top to take his own pleasure at the client's expense is information enough.

 

Someone who is more versatile is going to have to try a lot harder to figure out how to play that role.

 

This is a pretty myth that only works well in porn and Harlequin novels. "He saw me across the room and he took what he knew was His! A real man, in control, turning me into a slave with one glance. My will didn't belong to me any longer, and my only involvement was to relinquish a stupid will that I wanted no more and submit my body, now His body, only His playroom, and nothing else." Yeah, works well in writing.

 

In truth, as every single person with experience in sex and or BDSM, someone who has only ever been on top will be an inferior top than someone who has been on both sides and has a lot of experience on both sides. In BDSM circles a true DOM or MASTER will not be taken seriously unless he himself has been trained, owned and taught well by another top.

 

A man who has never liked being fucked will never know how to please an ass. EVER. The belief that this is not the case should be pinned on to porn, where actors are discouraged to show how truly versatile they are and we are bombarded by millions of "Total Tops" who know they way around an ass. Anyone with experience in porn knows the total tops are more often than not mostly bottoms in real life.

 

Someone who is versatile will be able to put himself in the Sub's mindset and KNOW exactly why this scene is so sexually alluring, and then he will be able to provide an experience while being INSIDE the sub's head and soul.

 

Someone who has only explored the dominant side without understanding the submission side will just be a bully, perhaps able to do stuff and force his way, but he will never be able to get into his submissive's head. It's people like these who say stuff like "Yeah, he likes being hit, so I hit the shit out of him... whatever, man, it pays good."

 

I know I will not be able to dispel the tired "a top knows, a vers has to guess" myth, but couldn't keep my big piehole shut..

[namchebaz]

getting inside your head and ripping it a new asshole.

 

now thats what I'm talkin about.

[Guest ChrisW]

*eats pop corn and reads the comments*

[Nvr2Thick]

but couldn't keep my big piehole shut..

 

We're gonna need a bigger buttplug...