Guidance please

[12is12]

Hi All,

 

I've recently started a hobby as a Master dominating slaves.

Am looking for unusual and creative ideas how to humiliate, subjugate, enslave, dominate, exploit, cause pain, etc., both in sexual and non-sexual activities.

 

Problem is I'm lite or semi-lite.

Not into props other than a belt for spanking; no pain that's dangerous or draws blood or leaves permanent marks; no scatting; and no penetration with weird devices.

 

Would be grateful for ideas, and even more so - for links to relevant online sources.

 

Thanks

[whipped guy]

Well... I hate to appear as though I'm always preaching but I have some definite thoughts on this subject. First, in my opinion toys are the way to go. It keeps things interesting and varied. As one who has a small collection of accoutrements, I most often never leave home without them... well almost. Plus, many are designed for "S&M lite" as not everyone is or wants to be an "advanced player". Still, even a toy that is designed for heavier action can be used in a lite manner. Indeed a while back I posted regarding the variations in different types of floggers and how they can make a session contrastingly stimulating. As an example, flogging with a lightweight flogger (such as those made of suede, elk, or even a lightweight garment leather) can be used to warm up a sub... or it can be as far as the sub wishes to go. It has the effect of a stimulating massage... Even when flogging is done with heavier equipment such as a multi-stranded bullhide flogger, it can prove to be very stimulating and not leave its mark so to speak... Unless that's what the sub wants that is... Still, even when a sub wants the action to be heavy, things must be done sanely with safety being the prime concern and as the OP wisely states.... "nothing that's dangerous, draws blood, or leaves permanent marks..." More below on that subject.

 

Still one can get creative and cause pain even in the absence of "traditional" toys. Indeed I found myself "toy-less" a few months ago when I unexpectedly hooked up with a guy while on vacation when I unfortunately "left home without them". However, with a bit of imagination and some resourcefulness a good time was had by all!

 

Obviously one can get creative with common items. In addition to a belt common household articles such as clothespins, shoelaces, and rope can clearly be used. As an example, shoelaces can be a simple substitute for a cock and ball separator. Of course there are also candles and hot wax. Even, ice cubes can be used to great effect not only on their own, but can also provide a chilling and balancing counter effect to the heat produced by hot wax.

 

Still, some might prefer not to use much in the way of "props". In that case the dom needs to get inventive with his arms, elbows, feet, fingers, fingernails, hands, knees, lips, teeth, tongue, and any other body part that comes to mind... Nibbling and biting most any area of the body such as the neck or thighs is a nice way to get things rolling. It is no surprise that many guys can be driven to the brink of ecstasy simply by having their nipples manipulated. One's cleverness in that regard should know no bounds. Still, there is no need to be intimidated by nipple clamps. Most models are adjustable and can be set to the exact desires and tolerance that the sub desires... and that includes a lite setting. Add in a blindfold, a bit of verbal teasing, tickling, sucking, edging, cum prevention, etc. and it could get quite interesting for the sub. Often just threateningly whispering in the sub's ears the awful things that are going to be done to him can be intimidating and quite the turn on... and even if those dreadful acts never actually occur. It's a mind game of sorts. At times a bit of light wrestling and pinning down the sub can add a bit of variety into the equation.

 

Just remember that it is the sub who is really calling the shots and it is the dom's duty to work at a level with which the sub feels comfortable. In essence the dom and sub must be in total accord. While that concept is most often discussed as relating to the feelings of the sub, it is also relevant to the comfort level of the dom. Indeed some escorts who overtly advertise as dominant tops don't have it in them to get involved with anything beyond hand spanking the sub's butt when it comes to S&M. Interestingly, I met one such individual in a not for hire situation and after a brief discussion realized that he would never be able to get into S&M to the extent that I would desire. He just could not get himself to cross the line even though he knew that pain was what the sub actually craved.

 

In essence, both players must be on the same wavelength. Under most conditions the dom is expected to offer a wide range of services to his subs that cover the entire spectrum from mild to wild depending upon the sub's preferences. The dom gets his pleasure from knowing that he is satisfying the sub's wants and needs... even if he must hold back while doing so. In a situation where "S&M lite" is what the dom feels comfortable doing the sub must be in agreement for the outcome to be totally successful. If the sub needs to go beyond what the dom feels is his comfort zone then total satisfaction and gratification on the part of the sub won't be realized. In summary, there must be total agreement and harmony between the participants.

 

Regarding online sources, many deal with the use of "props" and that includes "penetration with weird devices". There is even a site that describes how to "safely" set a person on fire using a violet wand. Then there are other seemingly unusual and strange techniques.... sounds for example... I have seen it done... However, unless one is in a doctor's office and the instruments have been properly sterilized I wouldn't be caught dead going there. Actually I would not want to do it under any circumstances unless medically advised. I am certain that there was no sterilization when I saw it being done. The bottom line concerns the fact that we all have our comfort level. It is best to work within that level... and with any luck sane principles are the basis for that comfort level.

 

In regard to the OP, he knows his comfort level and he simply needs to learn how to work successfully within that zone, and that includes working with subs who desire and share that same level of satisfaction. The use of a "safe word" so as to make sure that no boundaries are breached is also an important aspect in such play as it insures that things remain... well safe. In any event, I hope that this helps to get the ball rolling. I am sure that others will be able to offer additional thoughts and suggestions. Enjoyment can be achieved on a variety of levels... be they heavy or lite. Having fun is what it's all about!

 

 

Addendum: I did find this link which provides an excellent intro to the world of BDSM. Since it discusses the whole gamut one can pick and choose that with which one feels most comfortable.

 

http://fuckyeahsexeducation.tumblr.com/post/16674327302/bdsm-and-s-m-for-beginners-tw

 

 

ENJOY!

[12is12]

Thank you WG, for investing in my education so much.

Your post is very helpful.

[BaronArtz]

You should read 'Mr. Benson' by John Preston. That book is a 'classic' and, in a novel format, describes very well the mindset of the slave and the Master. With all the gory details. All of this in pre-AIDS New York. It's a must-read.

 

While I am not considering myself as a Master in the traditional sense of the word, I have kept guys in captivity, forcing them to be naked and sexually available to me at all times. When they perform well, I have branded my initials on their left ass cheek, with a red hot branding iron, to establish 'ownership' over them. In other words, inflicting pain and causing permanent markings are part of my DNA. I see no reason to change that. On the other hand, I sometimes wonder why some of these guys don't go to the cops when I am done with them, but that's their problem.

[whipped guy]

You should read 'Mr. Benson' by John Preston. That book is a 'classic' and, in a novel format, describes very well the mindset of the slave and the Master. With all the gory details. All of this in pre-AIDS New York. It's a must-read...

Thanks for mentioning this as I had totally forgotten about it. I never read it, but at the time it was written I was not into such a scene... just fascinated with it. Still I recall those who distanced themselves from it saying that it was not how S&M was actually practiced in the real world... what with it's tales of branding and other seemingly over the top events. In other words, the events were overly fantasized and thus not necessarily an accurate description of how S/M relationships were established and evolved in the real world.

 

That was then... and this is now... and I'm not sure how much has really changed. Today we have all sorts of videos that depict things that give the impression of being beyond reality... Yet I have seen some of that sort of thing actually done live... So it does exist... but just as it was several decades ago it's not what the more safety conscious among us would consider to be the norm.

 

What was true then and is true now concerns the fact that there is a bond between the participants... it may at times only be a bond of camaraderie, friendship, or simply a form of expressing intimacy or closeness, etc... but at times it can definitely morph into something much stronger and long lasting. Either way it's a different take... a variation... on familiar themes.

 

In any event, I would assume that it would be a good read...