Is Condescension a Sexual Turn-on for Anyone?

[bcohen7719]

We always hear the saying, "Different strokes for different folks."

 

Some clients enjoy masochistic kink. I'm sometimes (well often)

confused when a muscle worship escort is reviewed positively, with

extra marks given to how callous the escort behavior, or even homophobic.

 

Is condescension ever a turn-on for anyone?

 

BC

[+ FreshFluff]

Are you talking about condescension or derision? That "use me" guy who came on here a couple of months ago was certainly turned on by the latter.

 

Also when I read the thread about the escort who advertises that he likes to "sext his hot girlfriend," it reminded me of those phone sex/cash rape guys who advertise as they are jocks. They brag that they have hot girlfriends and that the customer ("you fag") can do no more than worship them. These guys are basically the entire phone sex market, if you believe the NiteFlirt rankings.

[Samai139]

I think the simple answer to your question is: Yes. I can think of no sexual "turn-on" that doesn't have some adherents---if you are asking or polling readers of this Forum: for me condescension/derision is not attractive.

[bcohen7719]

Are you talking about condescension or derision? That "use me" guy who came on here a couple of months ago was certainly turned on by the latter.

 

Also when I read the thread about the escort who advertises that he likes to "sext his hot girlfriend," it reminded me of those phone sex/cash rape guys who advertise as they are jocks. They brag that they have hot girlfriends and that the customer ("you fag") can do no more than worship them. These guys are basically the entire phone sex market, if you believe the NiteFlirt rankings.

 

Freshfluff,

 

These are insightful and wonderful distinctions I never even thought of. Here is

a "working" checklist for the area,which need definitions.

 

1) condescension

2) derision

3) humiliation

4) predation

5) cash rape

6) specialized masochism-based-on-request

 

More?

 

BC

[whipped guy]

These are insightful and wonderful distinctions I never even thought of. Here is

a "working" checklist for the area,which need definitions.

 

 

1) condescension

2) derision

3) humiliation

4) predation

5) cash rape

6) specialized masochism-based-on-request

 

 

More?

 

 

BC

These are more or less different shades of the same color as practiced in the world of BDSM. I have explored some of these routes... and some think of such activities as being de rigueur and synonomous with S&M. However, I personally have decided that such an approach is not the way to go. I prefer to think of BDSM activities as an intense way to make love... a way to nurture feelings in an at times powerful manner. Still for some derision and humiliation in their various forms are an important part of the equation. I can recall more than one escort describing how guys in executive positions made appointments in order to be put in their place. I think a few guys into such scenes either have low opinions of themselves and/or feel guilty about being in positions of power. For me it about having fun and pleasing your partner... Exactly as in "traditional" forms of sexual activity.

[bcohen7719]

These are more or less different shades of the same color as practiced in the world of BDSM. I have explored some of these routes... and some think of such activities as being de rigueur and synonomous with S&M. However, I personally have decided that such an approach is not the way to go. I prefer to think of BDSM activities as an intense way to make love... a way to nurture feelings in an at times powerful manner. Still for some derision and humiliation in their various forms are an important part of the equation. I can recall more than one escort describing how guys in executive positions made appointments in order to be put in their place. I think a few guys into such scenes either have low opinions of themselves and/or feel guilty about being in positions of power. For me it about having fun and pleasing your partner... Exactly as in "traditional" forms of sexual activity.

 

WG,

 

Would you say that you are "pampering" your partner--finding out exactly what

he wants, and giving it to him?

 

BC

[whipped guy]

WG,

 

Would you say that you are "pampering" your partner--finding out exactly what

he wants, and giving it to him?

 

BC

I'm not sure if pampering is the correct word, but when BDSM is practiced responsibly the sub actually controls the extent of the action and the Dom dishes out what he wants. It's boils down to trust, confidence, and respect between the players involved. So yes, he gets exactly what he wants... though at times limits can be pushed... but experience (reading the sub's reactions) and safe words help assure that things stay in a comfort zone for the sub. The worst BDSM tops are those that think only of their own pleasure. Part of the Dom's satisfaction comes from knowing that his sub is throughly enjoying the action. I learned all this from a very wise person on day one!!!

[DeeGeeBee]

Well put. One of my closest friends is a Pro-Dominatrix and I'm sure she could not agree more with your well written post.

 

I'm not sure if pampering is the correct word, but when BDSM is practiced responsibly the sub actually controls the extent of the action and the Dom dishes out what he wants. It's boils down to trust, confidence, and respect between the players involved. So yes, he gets exactly what he wants... though at times limits can be pushed... but experience (reading the sub's reactions) and safe words help assure that things stay in a comfort zone for the sub. The worst BDSM tops are those that think only of their own pleasure. Part of the Dom's satisfaction comes from knowing that his sub is throughly enjoying the action. I learned all this from a very wise person on day one!!!