SARS Report

[dick_nyc]

Health & Welfare Canada

Minister of Health

P.O Box 89743

Ottawa ON, K2K 3W5

Ottawa, April 1, 2003

 

 

IMPORTANT NOTICE TO PHYSICIANS

 

CONFIDENTIAL

 

Subject : S.A.R.S. contamination in most Provinces

 

 

 

Recent studies conducted on "SARS" (for which we have just received conclusive results) indicate that in certain cases this can be transmitted through casual contact. We foresee continued contamination in most Canadian provinces. Cases have been reported in Montreal (3), Windsor (2), Toronto (24), Vancouver (12), Halifax (2) and more recently in Ottawa (1). In addition, we have heard of some cases occurring in the United States including California.

 

It was observed that the subjects examined were regular travellers or exposed to regular travellers to Hong Kong, Vietnam or China. Most (97.6%) of the subjects would encounter serious problems with their vision when having gone without sexual relations for 1 to 2 days on average.

 

Extended periods without sexual relations would seriously affect the individuals reading capabilities. The subjects would also feel a trembling sensation. In extreme cases, individuals would start to hallucinate and see coloured specks when staring at an object for extended periods.

 

If you encounter any such patients having these symptoms, please contact the Crisis Centre in Ottawa immediately.

 

Our research to date has resulted in a cure, Sexual relations every day for 3 months!!!

 

Please pass this document on to all your employees & patients at once!!!

[Guest VanBCGuy]

Check the Date - that's all you need to know about authenticity of this.

[Guest fukamarine]

>Check the Date - that's all you need to know about

>authenticity of this.

 

You have to check the date to determine it's authenticity???

 

fukamarine

[Guest VanBCGuy]

>>Check the Date - that's all you need to know about

>>authenticity of this.

>

>You have to check the date to determine it's authenticity???

>

>fukamarine

>

 

Thats only as far as you need to read. Better?

[dick_nyc]

If you read it you should be able to see that it is satire!!

[Guest VanBCGuy]

We're just touchy up here about SARS. Its had very large impact on the economy, and its keeping people away from all regions, even those unaffected by SARS, like Vancouver.

 

Coupled with the fallout from having one (1) mad cow (not Ralph Klein) and we're taking it on the chin.

[jack]

Van, I usually like taking it on the cheek and after that, slurping the spent cock, letting it flop around in my mouth . .. so tastie.