Exodus Apologizes and Shuts Down Ex-Gay Ministry

[+ FreshFluff]

Whether this was caused by financial issues or true regret, it's a big step forward. The leaders are starting a new ministry; hopefully, it won't be more of the same

 

http://www.exgaywatch.com/2013/06/exodus-to-shut-down-leaders-to-launch-new-ministry/

[seeker630]

Whether this was caused by financial issues or true regret, it's a big step forward. The leaders are starting a new ministry; hopefully, it won't be more of the same

 

http://www.exgaywatch.com/2013/06/exodus-to-shut-down-leaders-to-launch-new-ministry/

 

It's a big step, but I think the direction remains to be seen:

 

Closing the organization so soon after the apology may give moderate Exodus leaders a chance to start over, free from the baggage of impenitent and allegedly abusive members — or it may allow those unapologetic members to escape ongoing confrontation with the consequences of their alleged abuse.

 

The closure of Exodus forces remaining ex-gay activists to make clear choices: Do they follow the new ministry’s model of reluctant grace and self-denial; do they affiliate with RHN’s political and religious extremism; or do they seek out the religious and personal freedom that — critics say — both Exodus and RHN have denied to them?

 

Let's HOPE it ends up being a positive move for LGBTs.

[+ FreshFluff]

Here are two excepts from Chambers' apology. The gist of it is that he and Exodus lied.

 

As for the fine print, I agree with Ex-Gay Watch's take that honesty is the best we can expect from Exodus and company. My guess is that he'll start an new ministry that preaches that it's ok to have same sex attraction as long as one is celibate. Here's the bright side: Such an organization would no longer offer false hopes of a happy life as a straight person. Everyone knows celibacy is difficult and painful, so those who take this path know what they're getting into. And organizations like Focus on the Family could no longer use Exodus to "prove" that gay people can be straight if they really want.

 

From: http://exodusinternational.org/2013/06/i-am-sorry/ (bolding is mine)

 

"And then there is the trauma that I have caused. There were several years that I conveniently omitted my ongoing same-sex attractions. I was afraid to share them as readily and easily as I do today. They brought me tremendous shame and I hid them in the hopes they would go away. Looking back, it seems so odd that I thought I could do something to make them stop. Today, however, I accept these feelings as parts of my life that will likely always be there. The days of feeling shame over being human in that way are long over, and I feel free simply accepting myself as my wife and family does. As my friends do. As God does.

 

[...]

 

"Please know that I am deeply sorry. I am sorry for the pain and hurt many of you have experienced. I am sorry that some of you spent years working through the shame and guilt you felt when your attractions didn’t change. I am sorry we promoted sexual orientation change efforts and reparative theories about sexual orientation that stigmatized parents. I am sorry that there were times I didn’t stand up to people publicly “on my side” who called you names like sodomite—or worse. I am sorry that I, knowing some of you so well, failed to share publicly that the gay and lesbian people I know were every bit as capable of being amazing parents as the straight people that I know. I am sorry that when I celebrated a person coming to Christ and surrendering their sexuality to Him that I callously celebrated the end of relationships that broke your heart. I am sorry that I have communicated that you and your families are less than me and mine.

 

 

More than anything, I am sorry that so many have interpreted this religious rejection by Christians as God’s rejection. I am profoundly sorry that many have walked away from their faith and that some have chosen to end their lives. For the rest of my life I will proclaim nothing but the whole truth of the Gospel, one of grace, mercy and open invitation to all to enter into an inseverable relationship with almighty God."

 

 

[And the fine print:]

 

"I cannot apologize for my deeply held biblical beliefs about the boundaries I see in scripture surrounding sex, but I will exercise my beliefs with great care and respect for those who do not share them. I cannot apologize for my beliefs about marriage. But I do not have any desire to fight you on your beliefs or the rights that you seek. My beliefs about these things will never again interfere with God’s command to love my neighbor as I love myself. "

[bcohen7719]

Did any one post the Lisa Ling show's episode with the apology?

Here it is, in any case...

 

BC

 

http://www.oprah.com/own-our-america-lisa-ling/Exodus-Head-Alan-Chambers-Full-Apology-Video

[bigvalboy]

Did any one post the Lisa Ling show's episode with the apology?

Here it is, in any case...

 

BC

 

http://www.oprah.com/own-our-america-lisa-ling/Exodus-Head-Alan-Chambers-Full-Apology-Video

 

Thank you BC for posting. I think that it is imperative that all the linked videos be watched. I side with ex-members that vent their frustration, skepticism, and anger over the un-repairable harm that he has done to so many lives. I personally do not buy his apology for one minute. I am unsympathetic and disgusted that he wants Exodus to continue in a form that he himself can't explain. I am disgusted that he feels that there is still some out there that need his help and direction, and it saddens me that he is doing nothing more than rebranding his own fear and hate.

 

Too little too late.....I am unconvinced and was angered by watching these videos. As it was mentioned in one of the videos, he is nothing more than a 'cult' leader, preying on those that are lost and trying to find their way in this world.

[+ AceBanner]

Thanks SO much for this thread. As someone with a good bit of experience with these people, I find the new "position" going forward completely nuanced. I believe his apology for hurting people, but not that the group has really changed direction. I don't feel his core beliefs have actually changed at all. Those who hate the most, spread hatred the widest, and cause hatred among us, hate themselves the most. He admits this freely by talking about his own "same-sex attraction". If anything, the group just got more dangerous....but then, I'm a little jaded on the subject and slow to offer forgiveness.

[+ FreshFluff]

I've never been a gay person, so my perspective lacks that important element.

I watched the Lisa Ling session which came out far weaker than the written apology. But here's my view: Whether the apology is sincere and Chambers regrets his actions or not is less important than what's to come.

 

To quote the blog Ex-Gay Watch, a group blog written by victims of reparative therapy:

 

I don’t begrudge him the statement that he is not sorry for his religious beliefs about marriage and sexual boundaries. I have always believed the best outcome of our fight against the ex-gay movement would be ending the false claims of conversion therapy, and at least getting to the point where Exodus and other groups were honest that they were promoting a struggle to be celibate rather than a way to change sexual orientation.

 

I agree with this completely. Giving people false hope that they can change an element of themselves they don't like is a sure way to depression, self-flagellation and, in some cases, suicide. Everyone knows that celibacy isn't normal and that it's difficult and painful, so there's little there that will seduce people.

 

Sadly, there are plenty of organizations now under the Exodus umbrella that want to continue operating on their own. We can only hope they will fall apart without Exodus' money.

 

(BTW, one of the many obnoxious things about Exodus and its obvious implications.)

[ErieBear]

I've never been a gay person, so my perspective lacks that important element.

I watched the Lisa Ling session which came out far weaker than the written apology. But here's my view: Whether the apology is sincere and Chambers regrets his actions or not is less important than what's to come.

 

To quote the blog Ex-Gay Watch, a group blog written by victims of reparative therapy:

 

 

 

I agree with this completely. Giving people false hope that they can change an element of themselves they don't like is a sure way to depression, self-flagellation and, in some cases, suicide. Everyone knows that celibacy isn't normal and that it's difficult and painful, so there's little there that will seduce people.

 

Sadly, there are plenty of organizations now under the Exodus umbrella that want to continue operating on their own. We can only hope they will fall apart without Exodus' money.

 

(BTW, one of the many obnoxious things about Exodus and its obvious implications.)

 

Exodus never gave money to the local chapters. In fact, the local chapters had to pay a fee for belonging to Exodus.

[+ FreshFluff]

The last line of my previous post should be: BTW, one of the many obnoxious things about Exodus is its name and its obvious implications.)

 

Exodus never gave money to the local chapters. In fact, the local chapters had to pay a fee for belonging to Exodus.

 

Thank you for pointing that out. So they're basically franchisees who benefited from Exodus' brand equity and advertising.

[ErieBear]

The last line of my previous post should be: BTW, one of the many obnoxious things about Exodus is its name and its obvious implications.)

 

 

 

Thank you for pointing that out. So they're basically franchisees who benefited from Exodus' brand equity and advertising.

 

Each ministry was a stand alone ministry. However, in order to be part of the Exodus referral network, the leadership had to have met certain requirements. The individual ministries also had to pay a fee for all the processing of the applications and an annual fee. It really wasn't that much, I think it was $150 or something like that.

 

They really helped each other out a lot. By being an Exodus referral ministry, the local ministry gained credibility in the Christian world. Meanwhile, Exodus became the central clearinghouse for all ministries related to homosexuality and also a lot of sexual issues (including sexual addictions)

 

I'm not an expert on it, but I do have a friend who ran an Exodus ministry for awhile. I just remember a bunch of the details.

 

One thing that I will say, that most of the ministers involved with Exodus are not hateful people. They are truly doing what they think is best for individuals. All the ones that I've met are running the ministry on a shoe string budget and NONE of them got rich from it. Most had to hold down other jobs and often held two jobs to pay for everything. The problem is that their answers are not sustainable and that by trying to tell people to grin and bear it, only frustrates and hurts people.

 

I am NOT saying that what they are doing is right, what I am saying is that they are not the evil people that many in e gay world attribute them to be. Just as most gay people are not nearly as evil as many in the church attribute them to be.

[+ AceBanner]

Living where I do, I know so many people who are good, upstanding, decent folks just trying to care for people the best way they know how. Unfortunately, they are guided by culture, interpretation, fear, and just plain ignorance. I actually sought out folks like Exodus who could give me answers that I so desperately wanted at the time. I pleaded to hear somebody say that I could be "normal". I wouldn't have to live with this. It was just an attraction fostered by something that I could reverse, ignore, or repress. These were basically good people telling me this...people I trusted to have my best interest at heart.

 

What actually happens is a fostering of hatred that becomes endemic in the system. Their love transforms to hate by the rejection of a basic truth that I know now is fundamental to who I am. Because they love the person but hate the sin, they end up hating the person, thereby making him/her hate themselves. The dangerous thing in this "change" of direction from Exodus is that we now are dealing friendlier organization that may change their tactics but not their beliefs. Without changing beliefs what is the message? To me, all of these good people just got a little more worrisome around where I live...all in the name of a merciful, accepting savior...ironic still.

 

The answer, I think, is the perpetual coming-out process. The more of us who make ourselves known, the harder it is for this kind of love to turn to hatred. With each coming-out there will be one or two or 100 people who will realize you're the same person, only better now. Not everybody is in a position to come out and we all have our own path to walk, but for each soul freed in this complicated world of ours, groups like Exodus will be a history lesson one day.

[Michael Wayne]

It is big news and a positive step. It is a sign that the ongoing civil rights movement is making progress. We are not there yet but this has to be good. As a former evangelical minister I was VERY close to this group . http://www.rentmen.com/mikeyusatop