Hindsight is 20/20

[ErieBear]

Have you ever experienced an escort and for the most part, it went well and you really enjoyed it. Then, a couple of weeks later, you realize that something was really, really off and that there was something majorly wrong with it and with the escort?

 

Just wondering if I'm weird or if it happens to others.

[Jscott]

Any chance you could be a bit more specific? Did he.... coax you into something you wouldn't normally do, push boundaries? How bad could it have been if you really enjoyed it at the time (unless you have buyer's remorse for doing something you regret while you were carried away by lust... unsafe practices, drugs.........)?

[ErieBear]

Any chance you could be a bit more specific? Did he.... coax you into something you wouldn't normally do, push boundaries? How bad could it have been if you really enjoyed it at the time (unless you have buyer's remorse for doing something you regret while you were carried away by lust... unsafe practices, drugs.........)?

 

Definitely pushed boundaries and pushed me do some things I didn't want to do. I also realized that it seriously was about what he wanted and wasn't really that concerned about my needs and wants.

 

I think the other problem was that I later experienced Ace and I realized what I was really looking for in an escort experience.

[Jscott]

Ah. Well, I did have one escort who clearly was putting his own needs first. And I went with the flow -- to an extent -- because he was hot... and at least was a good kisser. But I never felt out of control, which was key. And I didn't think he was seriously off, just selfish. Which can also describe a few men I've dated in the past, lol. But yes, a good experience can suddenly put everything that came before into perspective... No sense beating yourself up in retrospect, or indulging in regrets. Take what was good from the encounter, be grateful no major harm was done (which I hope was the case) and be even more grateful that you now know what you want.

[tyro]

Well said, Jscott. I know that for me, there's been a very real and very steep learning curve to this whole experience -- both the hiring part and the maturing sexually part. If something happens that clarifies what you REALLY want, then that's a gift. Some very self-centered lovers can be physically beautiful, skilled, charming, etc. etc. etc., but once you know what you really want, you can focus on obtaining it more consistently.

Don't beat yourself up for someone else's wrongdoing.

Don't beat yourself up for lack of knowledge.

Don't beat yourself up for your former lack of knowledge.

Do remember why you see these men in the first place. An escort is someone who takes you somewhere you've never been before. Have fun journeying.

T

[JT Brooklyn]

Definitely pushed boundaries and pushed me do some things I didn't want to do. I also realized that it seriously was about what he wanted and wasn't really that concerned about my needs and wants.

 

I think the other problem was that I later experienced Ace and I realized what I was really looking for in an escort experience.

 

Some Clients definitely LOOK FOR the "Take Charge type of Working Guy" which at one time some guys were known for in their ADS!

 

If you say at the time "I really enjoyed it" he may have opened up a New Attitude towards SEX you never knew existed for you!

 

The Working Guy that doesn't "do something" for you other than "Yes you Death" BORING...At least IMHO...

[ErieBear]

Some Clients definitely LOOK FOR the "Take Charge type of Working Guy" which at one time some guys were known for in their ADS!

 

If you say at the time "I really enjoyed it" he may have opened up a New Attitude towards SEX you never knew existed for you!

 

The Working Guy that doesn't "do something" for you other than "Yes you Death" BORING...At least IMHO...

 

I understand wanting a take-charge type of guy. But sometimes, you really need to take into account that the client isn't as free and open as the escort is. It's really funny, but I can't believe this experience has stuck with me so long.

[Guest countryboywny]

EB,

As you said, hind sight is 20/20. In the heat of the moment, I'm having a good time and enjoying myself. A few days later, I look back at the experience, absent the passion, and think on it. It's in this time that I have clearer thinking and sometimes (rarely) I think it wasn't as good as I thought or there was something I didn't notice that now bothers me. I don't know if it's "buyers remorse" or what. At any rate, if I have these thoughts post-session I chalk it up to experience, don't hire the guy again, and let it go. Conversely when I find a guy that I'm smiling about days and weeks after, he gets my repeat business. Right now I have 2 guys that I see repeatedly and I'm lovin' life.

[JT Brooklyn]

EB,

As you said, hind sight is 20/20. In the heat of the moment, I'm having a good time and enjoying myself. A few days later, I look back at the experience, absent the passion, and think on it. It's in this time that I have clearer thinking and sometimes (rarely) I think it wasn't as good as I thought or there was something I didn't notice that now bothers me. I don't know if it's "buyers remorse" or what. At any rate, if I have these thoughts post-session I chalk it up to experience, don't hire the guy again, and let it go. Conversely when I find a guy that I'm smiling about days and weeks after, he gets my repeat business. Right now I have 2 guys that I see repeatedly and I'm lovin' life.

 

I don't think it's "Buyer's Remorse" as much as some Clients are looking for alot more than they ever will "realize" from a Working Guy!

 

Over thinking your MEETINGS with a "Working Guy" can be very irrational! It's usually a Newbie Mistake....

[+ Gar1eth]

I understand wanting a take-charge type of guy. But sometimes, you really need to take into account that the client isn't as free and open as the escort is. It's really funny, but I can't believe this experience has stuck with me so long.

 

But if you enjoyed it at the time, assuming it was all safe, why regret it now? I mean in the cold light of day after all the endorphins have settled if you realize you don't really want to go down that road or do that again, then you don't have to. But again if because of the escort's attitude/personality/charisma/excitement of the moment you enjoyed something you normally wouldn't have- think of it as your one 'wild' experience that you don't need to repeat and as something you can check off your bucket list.

 

On the other hand if it wasn't safe and that's what is bothering you, take any medical protections you need to. And tell yourself that you'll never do it again. A few hours/ minutes of fun are not worth a lifetime of problems.

Gman

[rvwnsd]

Have you ever experienced an escort and for the most part, it went well and you really enjoyed it. Then, a couple of weeks later, you realize that something was really, really off and that there was something majorly wrong with it and with the escort?

 

Just wondering if I'm weird or if it happens to others.

 

Definitely pushed boundaries and pushed me do some things I didn't want to do. I also realized that it seriously was about what he wanted and wasn't really that concerned about my needs and wants.

 

I think the other problem was that I later experienced Ace and I realized what I was really looking for in an escort experience.

[bold italics added for emphasis]

 

I'm wondering if the key here is that you didn't know what you needed or wanted when you hired the first escort, so he addressed what he (and possibly you) thought you wanted. Our needs and wants change from time to time, so it is possible (and it sounds probable) that after your encounter with the first escort your boundaries became more solid. That could explain why something you enjoyed changed into something you now regret.

[Guest countryboywny]

I don't think it's "Buyer's Remorse" as much as some Clients are looking for alot more than they ever will "realize" from a Working Guy!

 

Over thinking your MEETINGS with a "Working Guy" can be very irrational! It's usually a Newbie Mistake....

 

Good advice, BG.

[ErieBear]

[bold italics added for emphasis]

 

I'm wondering if the key here is that you didn't know what you needed or wanted when you hired the first escort, so he addressed what he (and possibly you) thought you wanted. Our needs and wants change from time to time, so it is possible (and it sounds probable) that after your encounter with the first escort your boundaries became more solid. That could explain why something you enjoyed changed into something you now regret.

 

 

Actually, I don't think it was so much of me not knowing what I wanted. It was more that the escort really, really likes to push boundaries and I wasn't strong enough to stand firm. The strange thing is that I've hired others where I walked away saying, "the chemistry just wasn't there." This isn't that. It wasn't buyer's remorse. I'm not even sure if I know what this is. And I think that's one of the things that is driving me nutso the most, lol.

[Diverdan]

Hey EB... My free advise, for what it is worth, which may be nothing is, as some have said, "just forget about it" and move on. I once had a three some with one guy whom I really liked and had been with several times. We both agreed to add a third... we both thought it would be a great addition to our relationship and add some spice to our otherwise great experience together. Well, the experience was fantastic at the time, in retrospect, I think because we both wanted it to be fantastic, and both worked hard to make sure that all three of us had this great time. However, in a subsequent visit with my buddy, we both agreed that in retrospect the threesome was not what we were looking for. As I thought more about it, and ruminated on it for a long time, I realized that it was really our mutual expectation that was out of sync with reality. To check our our analysis, we had a second three some, with no expectations up front, other than we hoped we all three would have fun. The third person definitely pushed our boundaries, safely, but it added a new spice to the relationship that my buddy and I had. Interestingly enough, we have not had another three some... but maybe some day... so, to make a long story short, I would just move on, forget about the situation that is "driving you nuts" and don't try to over analyze it. It is just one more experience that you have had, and will have others more or less satisfying... Take care, and good hunting !!

DD