Should Bullied Kids Get Cosmetic Surgery for Free?

[+ FreshFluff]

The Little Baby Face foundation is a charity started by a plastic surgeon at a major NYC hospital. They provide gives free plastic surgery for all sorts of facial deformities. What makes them unique is that they treat not only major birth defects like cleft lip but also much more minor things. In the case below, the girl wanted to have her ears look less prominent, and the doctor recommended and performed additional surgeries on the nose and chin.

 

This charity is very controversial for obvious reasons. What do you guys think?

 

My own opinion: If it's possible to solve a problem at its source--which wouldn't be possible for, say, gay kids who are bullied--why not do it? And the plastic surgery will open up social and career doors that would have been closed earlier. Of course, there are obvious questions like what exactly constitutes a deformity that's bad enough to qualify?

 

 

[video=youtube;-5icRiXCUWk]

[tyro]

Well, she certainly does look more stereotypically pretty in the "after" pic, but...huh? We're going to let the bullies win by telling a young person, "Well, people really would like you a lot more if you looked more like what they like. Here...let's help you out!" ??

Of course, this response is coming from a woman who's never dyed her hair and won't even though the grays are infiltrating. Just my two cents.

T

[+ FreshFluff]

I understand where you're coming from, and I think that's why it's controversial. But IMO, the bullies lose when she made this change. Far from wanting her to look like them, they'd prefer that she stay the same so that they can keep teasing her. I'm sure it was frustrating to them to see their target looking great--and with the increased confidence to match.

 

Also, let's be realistic here: The bullying is mostly a rationalization. In five years, she'll be in college and the bullies will be gone. But this will open up job and romantic opportunities for her that she never had before.

 

However, there are very real issues here. I could see parents pushing their kids to have surgery when they learn it's free. And surgery of any kind involves some risk of injury or worse.

 

Also, bullies aren't necessarily attractive. The ones at my elementary school were, for the most part, rather rough looking. The attractive kids were too busy enjoying themselves to bully.

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

This is a message board that so often celebrates and obsesses on physical perfection. If this girl has a higher self esteem because of a relatively minor procedure, then that's great. I don't think that's "letting the bullies win," since it's no different than the millions of people who feel the need to lose weight, or wear certain clothing, style their hair, wear makeup and so on.

[seeker630]

Is anyone else reminded of the classic Twilight Zone/I] episode, "Eye of the Beholder"?

[JoeyBryant]

Is anyone else reminded of the classic Twilight Zone/I] episode, "Eye of the Beholder"?

 

I love me some twilight zone, but I may have missed or not remembered that episode. It always comes on at like 2 am during weekdays huh? That show gives me chills just thinking about it lol. Was it the one where the lady was wishing and wishing for stuff and she kept wishing for it and it started coming true but eventually something (can't remember) ended up happening? Oh wait no that was the little coin machine fortune teller in the restaurant. She eventually lived her life in the fate of that thing.

 

Anyhow...I think even if these people do get something fixed, people still going to find something else to not like about them. That's a bad principle to instill into kids. Then they'll grow up thinking they need to buy a different house/car/clothes because someone didn't like it. Basically allowing people to push them around and taking drastic measures to compensate, only to find they don't like something ELSE. I know this is true just by how people talk. You get a new car, they'll say, "now all you have to do is tint the windows". You work out or lose weight, someone will tell you to start taking steroids or getting liposuction...because what you're doing just isn't good enough, or better yet that's what they want you to think. It'll never be enough for them.

 

For awhile I had a chipped tooth that took away from my image, I got it fixed for cosmetic and health reasons but I'm still waiting for a promise ring. So that didn't solve that problem like I thought it did, but of course it was something that needed to be done. If someone has something that can affect their health, or something major like a cleft lip...That I can understand.

[Guest]

Oh, for God's sake, just wear your hair over your ears instead of behind your ears, girl.

[Samai139]

Unicorn--thanks for bringing some reality to this thread. Free surgery for cleft palate, and other major deformities is wonderful and I applaud the organisations that provide it. I worry about the line between what is medically critical or necessary and what is more or less cosmetic enhancement. Certainly this young woman could cover her prominent ears with a different hair style and as far as chin surgery? As people age they grow into their faces and the various parts which seem "out of whack" as teen-agers become much more aesthetically acceptable.

If this is the latest solution to "bullying" I'm not a proponent; and I speak as one who was bullied in school---ears that stuck way out (a family trait which I now take pride in; mannerisms that others thought "girlish"; interests(piano and books) that weren't "boyish" enough; and a slight physique compared to most of the other boys.

There is no easy fix for the difficulties that many face during their lives; strength of character and love and support of family offer more than surgery ever can.

[seeker630]

I love me some twilight zone, but I may have missed or not remembered that episode. It always comes on at like 2 am during weekdays huh? That show gives me chills just thinking about it lol. Was it the one where the lady was wishing and wishing for stuff and she kept wishing for it and it started coming true but eventually something (can't remember) ended up happening? Oh wait no that was the little coin machine fortune teller in the restaurant. She eventually lived her life in the fate of that thing.

 

Anyhow...I think even if these people do get something fixed, people still going to find something else to not like about them. That's a bad principle to instill into kids. Then they'll grow up thinking they need to buy a different house/car/clothes because someone didn't like it. Basically allowing people to push them around and taking drastic measures to compensate, only to find they don't like something ELSE. I know this is true just by how people talk. You get a new car, they'll say, "now all you have to do is tint the windows". You work out or lose weight, someone will tell you to start taking steroids or getting liposuction...because what you're doing just isn't good enough, or better yet that's what they want you to think. It'll never be enough for them.

 

For awhile I had a chipped tooth that took away from my image, I got it fixed for cosmetic and health reasons but I'm still waiting for a promise ring. So that didn't solve that problem like I thought it did, but of course it was something that needed to be done. If someone has something that can affect their health, or something major like a cleft lip...That I can understand.

 

It's the one where a woman is having plastic surgery so that she will look like everyone else in a very regimented society. Everyone's face is in shadow until

, when she is told the surgery was unsuccessful - and we see that she is beautiful by OUR standards but everyone else looks like a monster.

[+ FreshFluff]

Again, I understand why this is controversial. And if it's between providing surgery for a girl like this vs. someone with a cleft lip, I"d go for the latter. However, I disagree that wanting to look closer to the norm is a bad thing. The question is only, when can it be taken too far?

 

Let's take another case. This boy had a birth defect that resulted in a malformed but (let's assume) fully functioning ear. Like most boys and men, he wears his hair in a way that can't hide his ears. Like the girl, he wants to look like everyone else. The way his ear is shaped may well make it more difficult to find a job and a partner. Is this case different from the girl.

 

(In some cases, the birth defect below does affect hearing, but I'm going to assume it doesn't in this case so that we can consider the visual part of the surgery alone.)

http://www.littlebabyface.org/images/kidpix/MateoDSC02608.jpg

[+ FreshFluff]

If this girl has a higher self esteem because of a relatively minor procedure, then that's great. I don't think that's "letting the bullies win," since it's no different than the millions of people who feel the need to lose weight, or wear certain clothing, style their hair, wear makeup and so on.

 

I'm with Chris on this one though. My only reservation is the physical risk involved in any kind of surgery that requires anesthesia.

[+ Gar1eth]

I wish I could get plastic surgery due to trauma from rejection on the Social Apps. I'm not dismissing the trauma children go through. I just wanted to bring up that rejection/ bullying at any age is painful.

 

Gman

[+ FreshFluff]

I wish I could get plastic surgery due to trauma from rejection on the Social Apps. I'm not dismissing the trauma children go through. I just wanted to bring up that rejection/ bullying at any age is painful.

 

Gman

 

 

Yep, this is exactly what I was thinking, which is why I mentioned that bullying is only a part of the issue.

 

But Gman, I'm sure you are hard on yourself and do not need surgery to attract guys. From what I've heard, anyone over 25 has a difficult time on Grindr.

[BSR]

Sure, why not? It is a private charity funding the surgeries of bullied children. If the charity's donors think it's a worthy cause, then they can give their hard-earned money to the charity for this purpose. As long as what you're doing isn't illegal or unethical, I think you should be able to do whatever you want with your money. I would have a serious issue, however, if taxpayer dollars were paying for these surgeries because the surgeries are controversial and plenty of taxpayers would disagree with spending (involuntary) tax collections for it. But wait, you say, taxpayers would vote to approve such an expenditure, or vote for elected officials who do so. True enough, but like Benjamin Franklin used to say, democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what's for dinner.

[+ FreshFluff]

Sure, why not? It is a private charity funding the surgeries of bullied children. If the charity's donors think it's a worthy cause, then they can give their hard-earned money to the charity for this purpose. As long as what you're doing isn't illegal or unethical, I think you should be able to do whatever you want with your money. I would have a serious issue, however, if taxpayer dollars were paying for these surgeries because the surgeries are controversial and plenty of taxpayers would disagree with spending (involuntary) tax collections for it. But wait, you say, taxpayers would vote to approve such an expenditure, or vote for elected officials who do so. True enough, but like Benjamin Franklin used to say, democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what's for dinner.

 

From what I gather, the doctor(s) do the surgeries pro bono while donors pay for flights to NYC and accommodations.