Why do Escorts blow all their money so quickly?

[briancalihc]

For the past month I've been trying out a new guy to fill the void in my life. We have a weekly arrangement where he spends 3 nights per week with me at my house. But, this guy blows through the money I give him like a sailor on leave. I want to keep him around and help him. Would it be rude of me to set up a savings account for him and as for the money I would typically forward to his bank account, I would instead give him half in cash and the remainder would go into that savings account?

 

thoughts?

[Diverdan]

Sorry, Brian... I don't think you can or should do something like that unless he agress to it. And, there is nothing to prevent him from cashing out his savings account either, unless you are going to control it. Part of this may depend on his age, his life experiences to date, etc. It is like watching your children make bad decisions and then having to live with the consequences. It is hard to grow up and learn to spend one's hard earned money in an appropriate fashion. But like your children, we all have had to survive through the school of hard knocks. If he spends three nights a week with you, you certainly have time for some lengthy discussions about a wide range of issues, and not just about sex and money. Good luck and hopefully he will learn from you and your suggestions, but don't be too disappointed if he continues to do what he wants and goes through all the money he earns as an escort.

DD

[+ Travis69]

How old is the escort? Is he a responsible person in other aspects of his life? If having lots of cash in his pocket is a new thing to him he may just be going through a phase of spend, spend, spend to make up for periods of austerity. Is he asking for advances? I would only interfere in his handling of money if he asked you. Many people, in many professions, don't control their money in a prudent manner.

[jgoo]

Do you know how he is spending his money? Perhaps he is using it in a number of ways that may be necessary (i.e. supporting his family, tuition, etc) or he may be going through a phase of suddenly having enough cash to pay off some other debts. Of course he may be blowing it all on things you don't think are important. But as Diverdan said, sometimes you have to let others make certain decisions on their own and hopefully learn from the consequences of those decisions. If you do have a discussion with him and he is agreeable to such an arrangement, don't set up unrealistic expectations in yourself as he may suddenly decide to take his savings and do something that would disappoint you.

[briancalihc]

He is spending a lot on his brothers. As for debts, I don't know of any off hand. I do understand the 'Instant Wealth Syndrome' and the negative effects it can have on a person (just look at the bankrupt sports figures). Maybe I should go away for a week or two and induce that 'Diverdan' philosophy

[briancalihc]

Giving him advanced notice is a great idea.

 

My fear when it comes to inducing a learning experience on him is that I might screw up his basic finances.

 

All the time I hear of Daddies who hire escorts and purposely make the escort's life incredibly expensive to live so the escort has to become dependent on the Daddy. Then, when the Daddy finds something better, he lets the escort go, totally cut off, and indirectly destroys the escort's life because he defaults on bills, credit cards, rent, car payments- all the thing the Daddy made the escort do in order to be dependent on him. Its a very cruel thing to do.

 

I accidentally did it in the past when I got rid of an escort Id been seeing for years for another guy who I though loved me, but it turns out the guy I though was in love with me actually had a boyfriend in Canada he was trying to get citizenship for and the money I was paying him went to take care of that, then one day he leaves to go live a happy American life with is newly-American boyfriend. The escort I did love and had a good mutual relationship with, we were the most perfect daddy - son relationship, ended up having his car repossessed (which I told him to get), evicted from his apartment (which I told him to get), cell phone shut off, a civil judgement against him and basically a destroyed credit rating. When I found out about it, Tom (the escort who's life I accidentally destroyed) had nothing to his name. I sent him a sizable amount of money to help him get back on his feet as a way to make amends for what I did to him and he apparently put it to good use because he's doing well now (hence cutting off a guy is a good learning experience, but could also be incredible cruel at the same time).

 

Thats the reason for me wanting to help this new guy make better financial decisions.

[+ Travis69]

Are you this escorts only source of income? Is he in school, does he have other clients or have a regular job?

[Steven_Draker]

... thoughts?

 

"By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest." Confucius

 

Good luck!

[Frequentflier]

For the past month I've been trying out a new guy to fill the void in my life. We have a weekly arrangement where he spends 3 nights per week with me at my house. But, this guy blows through the money I give him like a sailor on leave. I want to keep him around and help him. Would it be rude of me to set up a savings account for him and as for the money I would typically forward to his bank account, I would instead give him half in cash and the remainder would go into that savings account?

 

thoughts?

 

First, it's nice of you to care. Since you spend a fair amount of time together, does the topic of handling money, retirement planning, investing, etc come up? I'm a business guy and when I've seen a guy for more than one night they often ask about these. Maybe buy him The Millionaire Next Door (book) or the first couple in the Rich Dad Poor Dad series and after playing in bed, have him lie in your arms and read I think another posters comment is fair about, basically, that a separate account can still be cleaned. So, true progress means the guy has to be informed and educated about how even small and regular savings can accumulate to big dollars and a more secure financial future at some point. Starting with low cost, index tracking ETFs with even weekly investing is hard to argue with if someone has taken the time to show the value of compounding and basics of investing. For people who have family and friends that regularly seem to drain a guys cash, he should seek out a low cost lawyer who can set up a form of trust that can't be easily broken - sort of being protected from oneself. Unfortunately, about once a year, I think back to how much more I would have to today if I had known "then" what I know now about spending less and saving more. Lastly, there is some guidance in the aforementioned books (particularly Millionaire Next Door) about avoiding impulse buying.

 

Best of luck to you on this good and interesting topic. I know us "old guys" who grow grow fond of a younger guy wish them well even though we know their attraction to us may be more economic than emotional.

[anotherjohnindupont]

I'm glad I found this thread, finally something that is beyond gossip.

 

I think it's all about education and having a goal in life. I know some escorts who just blew their money in clothe and other things that have no value, others just invest it or save it in the bank after paying some taxes.

 

A Russian bf of mine used to say "no matter how much you feed the wolf, he'll be always looking at the forest". Some guys just can't help missing lives opportunities.

[ragazzolupo]

Perhaps, as Steven says, we learn, and then (alternatively) it may just be in our nature. Some spend it and some put it away.

 

I am reminded of this poem:

 

 

La Cigale et la fourmi

by Jean de La Fontaine (1621-1695)

 

 

La cigale ayant chanté

Tout l'été,

Se trouva fort dépourvue

Quand la bise fut venue :

Pas un seul petit morceau

De mouche ou de vermisseau.

Elle alla crier famine

Chez la fourmi sa voisine,

La priant de lui prêter

Quelque grain pour subsister

Jusqu’à la saison nouvelle.

« Je vous paierai, lui dit-elle,

Avant l’août, foi d’animal,

Intérêt et principal. »

La fourmi n’est pas prêteuse :

C’est là son moindre défaut.

« Que faisiez-vous au temps chaud ?

Dit-elle à cette emprunteuse.

— Nuit et jour à tout venant

Je chantais, ne vous déplaise.

— Vous chantiez ? J’en suis fort aise :

Eh bien ! Dansez maintenant. »

The Cricket and the Ant

translation by Don Webb

 

 

The cricket had sung her song

all summer long

but found her victuals too few

when the north wind blew.

Nowhere could she espy

a single morsel of worm or fly.

 

Her neighbor, the ant, might,

she thought, help her in her plight,

and she begged her for a little grain

till summer would come back again.

 

“By next August I’ll repay both

Interest and principal; animal’s oath.”

 

Now, the ant may have a fault or two

But lending is not something she will do.

She asked what the cricket did in summer.

 

“By night and day, to any comer

I sang whenever I had the chance.”

 

“You sang, did you? That’s nice. Now dance.”

[+ Axiom2001]

Sorry, Brian... I don't think you can or should do something like that unless he agress to it. And, there is nothing to prevent him from cashing out his savings account either, unless you are going to control it. Part of this may depend on his age, his life experiences to date, etc. It is like watching your children make bad decisions and then having to live with the consequences. It is hard to grow up and learn to spend one's hard earned money in an appropriate fashion. But like your children, we all have had to survive through the school of hard knocks. If he spends three nights a week with you, you certainly have time for some lengthy discussions about a wide range of issues, and not just about sex and money. Good luck and hopefully he will learn from you and your suggestions, but don't be too disappointed if he continues to do what he wants and goes through all the money he earns as an escort.

DD

 

I LIKE your salient comments/advice, esp "...and hopefully he will lern from you and your suggestions...."

[Guest]

Since you don't know why the guy seems to blow through money, there's no way to know whether you can help him or not. Simply throwing money at the problem isn't going to help. What might help is a frank discussion regarding finances, should he be willing to have that discussion. If he's not willing to have such a discussion with you, I would advise against thinking you're going to change anything. You need to know what the problem is before knowing if you can help. I also personally couldn't see myself getting emotionally involved with someone who isn't even willing to open up to me with what's going on in his life.

[+ Shoreboy]

A very similar thing happened to me a few years ago whereby I was fascinated with an escort, saw him two or three times a week and was there to help him financially whenever he mentioned it.

 

Finally my friends sat me down and said "you have the need and he has the greed"....and they were 100% corect.

 

Once the financial pipe-line dried up so did the relationship.

 

Just something to ponder

[Becket]

I've thought about trying to help an escort or two in this way. It does point to the fact of how emotionally attached I can get to these fellows if I'm not careful. One well known escort said to me, "Thanks, but Really, I make more than you do." Another decided that if I'm generous one day I should be so all the time. It got uncomfortable how often he hit me up for "loans."

 

It does make you wonder what will happen to these beautiful boys when their looks fade and they begin to look like many of their clients......

[BaronArtz]

A very similar thing happened to me a few years ago whereby I was fascinated with an escort, saw him two or three times a week and was there to help him financially whenever he mentioned it.

 

Finally my friends sat me down and said "you have the need and he has the greed"....and they were 100% corect.

 

Once the financial pipe-line dried up so did the relationship.

 

Just something to ponder

 

Agreed. That is exactly right. Not to be cynical, but if your regular escort finds a john who is sexier than you are, with more money to spend, you'll be history. And the other way around, if you think you can 'cut him off temporarily' by going on a trip or something like that: he'll just be selling his attributes at the Greyhound bus station (or the online equivalent) again. People only change when they want to change.

[leigh.bess.toad]

I firmly believe that escorts should follow Daddy's advice that I have heard him give to a lot of guys: save half of what you make. If you are good, you'll be able to retire and do whatever you want for years to come. I know guys that have done it and are set for life now.

[+ WilliamM]

Brian, For the first time, I am glad I do not have a lot of money. So loans, gifts or managing an escort's money have never (well once) been an issue for me, even in my few long-term escort/client relationships. The one time was a college student who was not out to his parents, and ivolved his college tuition payment and "blackmail" by his friend who was threatening to tell his parents. I insisted that a lawyer draw up a formal loan agreement, and he backed off.

 

Thus, the following comment-

 

Are there other ways you can form close relationships with escorts, ways that do not involve money?

[anotherjohnindupont]

For the past month I've been trying out a new guy to fill the void in my life. We have a weekly arrangement where he spends 3 nights per week with me at my house. But, this guy blows through the money I give him like a sailor on leave. I want to keep him around and help him. Would it be rude of me to set up a savings account for him and as for the money I would typically forward to his bank account, I would instead give him half in cash and the remainder would go into that savings account?

 

thoughts?

 

You are trying to help him and that's very noble of you.

 

Could you please provide some extra information to make us figure it out more what's going on with him:

 

How old his he?

Is he from a low-income family (redneck, blue collar)?

How much do you give him each week for his companion?

 

With this economy and so many of guys under 25 and even 30 unemployed I'm shocked to hear about guys who "have the stomach" to escort not saving their money.

[gallahadesquire]

Albeit rife with complications, placing monies into a well-executed irrevocable trust might be the answer.

[Frequentflier]

I firmly believe that escorts should follow Daddy's advice that I have heard him give to a lot of guys: save half of what you make. If you are good, you'll be able to retire and do whatever you want for years to come. I know guys that have done it and are set for life now.

 

That is good advice. I've been unfortunate that all money I've made has been reported on W-2s, 1099s, K-1s, etc. So more than half of money I've earned since college has gone to Federal/State income taxes, Medicare/FICA taxes, etc. Probably why I'm still working while escorts who listened to Daddy's advice retired at 30 ish or maybe earlier & set for life.

[Xander]

That is good advice. I've been unfortunate that all money I've made has been reported on W-2s, 1099s, K-1s, etc. So more than half of money I've earned since college has gone to Federal/State income taxes, Medicare/FICA taxes, etc. Probably why I'm still working while escorts who listened to Daddy's advice retired at 30 ish or maybe earlier & set for life.

 

I don't believe tax evasion was a part of daddy's advice. But saving money is always good

[MalcomXpark]

I don't believe tax evasion was a part of daddy's advice. But saving money is always good

 

Just don't hide it the refrigerator like former Congressman Jeffeson from Louisiana.

 

People to handle cash for a living always put something aside, let's be realistic.

[MalcomXpark]

You are trying to help him and that's very noble of you.

 

Could you please provide some extra information to make us figure it out more what's going on with him:

 

How old his he?

Is he from a low-income family (redneck, blue collar)?

How much do you give him each week for his companion?

.

 

Interesting questions, let us know if you get a reply as a private message.

 

The fact is young guys think their youth will last forever, I know, I used to be young.

[Frequentflier]

I don't believe tax evasion was a part of daddy's advice. But saving money is always good

 

That's fair. I'm sure people who get paid in cash pay the same taxes they would if they received W-2s, 1099s and/or K-1s. And I agree that regardless of how one gets paid they should save. I sometimes find myself with a spell of "depression mentality" and think even though the amount of reserve I have is the highest its ever been (and I'm older - thereby having less years left), its not enough.