Mommy, they are just like me

[bigvalboy]

Ohgod, here we go again - we're teetering on the brink of lapsing into incivility and

 

Relax Phil, no one is lapsing into incivility, at least from my perspective. I was just trying to make a point that I feel very passionate about and that I am having to deal with in my personal life. As with so many threads on this forum, thoughts and ideas vary greatly among the posters. It is difficult for me to just sit silently here and read some of the things that are posted without responding, though I have become inclined to pass on giving my thoughts at all. I have by chance, made some wonderful connections on this board and some I now consider close friends and confidants, and I have made plans to travel and see several members in the upcoming year. Alas the forum, however, is filled with a wide variety of very opinionated people, myself included, that appear to be a cross section of what society feels as a whole. And while some of my posts in the past have been quite confrontational, I have with great effort tried to dial the rhetoric back a notch or so, apparently unsuccessfully.

 

There have been times when I have tried to state a very important position on a subject only to have the only comment coming back as "you used the wrong sentence structure, there should have been a conjunction there..really? The point completely missed or ignored.

 

I have rarely seen a discussion of any kind that ends with people just agreeing to disagree and it has on many occasion brought out the worst in me. I spend way too much time envolving myself here trying to convince people to see things in a different perspective. Often things that I should be taking care of in my personal life has suffered. In the end, none of this is really important in the grander scale of things. This is the last post that I will participate in that involves any controversy. I will leave that to the rest of you. To Merlin, OB, you Phil and several others who did not need to be named here, I leave this type of subject matter for you to debate.

 

While I am not leaving the boards as Mikey9nola did, much to the disappointment of many of you, my posts going forward, however will involve none of this. I will limit my posts only to those that are of humor and nothing else. Best to you all...BVB

[Guest Merlin]

Philmusc, does it not seem that the parents of the 6 year old are so eager to show that they are understanding, tolerant etc parents that they have outed their son who has his entire school life ahead of him. Who else are they telling to prove their progressiveness? Friends, teachers, neighbors? No hint that they are advising him that he should keep it as his secret. Times have changed but not everyone. Being outed at his age will be the single most important event shaping his entire life, whether it is true or not.

[Phil_musc]

Actually have the parents really outed their son? It appears to me that this is an internet blog that carries the same anonymity that this board does. There are no pictures involved, no one is appearing on national television, no one has taken out a huge ad in Times Square complete with picture of mother and son walking hand in hand down their liberal suburban driveway. The piece was a blog written by a parent who seems understanding of her(or his) son and the possible challenges that he may face later in life when he discovers his sexuality. But we don't really know who this is. It seems like a sophisticated piece of parental writing arguing for tolerance and acceptance. As I wrote before, don't read too much into this. No child has been outed as gay here unless there is more to the blog than I recall seeing.

[Steven_Draker]

Actually have the parents really outed their son?

 

Philmusc is very perceptive. The sentence "Being outed at his age will be the _single_ most important event in his _entire_ life, whether it is true or not" says far more about THE poster (Merlin) than anyone or anything else.

 

A psychiatrist would have a field day with it.

 

And, by the way, I didn't see a precise name given in the Huffington piece. What next? Trying to play detective to track down Amelia, the NoH8 blogger?

 

BigValBoy, Ignore those who come here and have an agenda. I do.

[Steven_Draker]

Lessons from Sharing the Story of My (Possibly) Gay 6-Year-Old Son

 

Editor's note: "Amelia" is a pseudonym chosen by the author in order to keep her family's identity anonymous.

 

On August 16 I learned what viral meant.

 

I wrote an essay about my oldest son and his love of a popular gay television character, Glee's Blaine, and how this crush led to him telling me he wanted to kiss boys, not girls. I naively posted it to a blog, thinking some fans of the show might think it was cute.

 

Within 24 hours it had been reposted and "liked" over 30,000 times on the blog's website. It wasn't long before messages started flooding in, other websites began posting it and people were commenting. The response was overwhelming positive. What I thought was a simple story about my kid and our family had clearly stuck a chord with a lot of people.

 

It also made some people uncomfortable. Of the criticisms, the most common is that my son is six years old and doesn't know anything about sex. While I fully acknowledge this may not be the end-all-and-be-all to my son's sexual orientation, I object to the idea that being gay is only about sexual acts. Our emotions and feelings, our attractions and compulsions, all contribute, not just our body parts. If my son had a crush on the star of iCarly, I doubt people would be saying he was too young to have those sexual feelings towards a girl. I think they would think it was an innocent schoolboy crush, which is exactly what it is.

 

Plus, for every comment I've read saying my son is too young, I have received multiple messages from adults saying "I knew when I was little, too."

 

It got me thinking and after awhile I started to feel like I knew this big secret that shouldn't be a secret at all: Every gay adult used to be a gay kid. It's not as if all children start off as straight until some time later when someone flips the gay switch. We are who we are from the very moment we are born.

 

The horrible and hate filled words of the Michele Bachmann's of the world take on a whole new level of disgusting when picturing them being screamed at a group of kindergartners and first graders. They are unnatural. They are sinners. They are going to hell. They are dirty, wrong and sick.

 

These people would tell my innocent little boy (who currently wants to be a fireman-ninja when he grows up) he is the biggest threat the American family... because he wants to kiss boys and not girls.

 

The reality is they are pounding these words of ignorance and hate into the ears and minds of gay children every day. And those children are hearing them. I know because many of those kids are now writing to me. Kids as young as 14 have sent me messages. So many are scared children, who sure as hell did not choose this for themselves, living in fear of their family finding out because they know full well what their mom and dad will say. And they tell me they wish I was their mom.

 

I want to keep all this talk, all these lies, all this hate, away from these kids. Of course, there is an inherent problem with that. We can't pick out the gay kids simply by looking, and behavior isn't a clear indicator (some little straight girls are tomboys, and some little gay boys love their monster trucks). The only way we can truly know someone's orientation is if they tell us, which for some doesn't happen until well into adulthood.

 

So the solution is obvious to me. Keep it away from all our kids. It's my responsibility as a mother, as a human being, to stand up and say "No more." No, you are not allowed to say those things in front of my children, not unless you want to deal with me. Because I will not allow any of my sons to be viciously attacked without seeing me defend them. They will never have to doubt for a second exactly where their parents stand, and never have to live in fear of who they are.

 

Because since August 16, I have learned that hate is the virus we all need to be worried about.

 

The Trevor Project is determined to end suicide among LGBTQ youth by providing life-saving and life-affirming resources including our nationwide, 24/7 crisis intervention lifeline, digital community and advocacy/educational programs that create a safe, supportive and positive environment for everyone. For more information or to talk to someone, visit their website or call 866-488-7386.

 

Follow Amelia on Twitter:

 

source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/Amelia/gay-children_b_954350.html

[Guy Fawkes]

Bravo! Let's let the 6 year old be 6 years old... Analysis not needed...

 

http://img515.imageshack.us/img515/7042/bravo1.jpg

 

Lessons from Sharing the Story of My (Possibly) Gay 6-Year-Old Son[/size]

 

Editor's note: "Amelia" is a pseudonym chosen by the author in order to keep her family's identity anonymous.

 

.

.

.

 

So the solution is obvious to me. Keep it away from all our kids. It's my responsibility as a mother, as a human being, to stand up and say "No more." No, you are not allowed to say those things in front of my children, not unless you want to deal with me. Because I will not allow any of my sons to be viciously attacked without seeing me defend them. They will never have to doubt for a second exactly where their parents stand, and never have to live in fear of who they are.

 

Because since August 16, I have learned that hate is the virus we all need to be worried about.

 

The Trevor Project is determined to end suicide among LGBTQ youth by providing life-saving and life-affirming resources including our nationwide, 24/7 crisis intervention lifeline, digital community and advocacy/educational programs that create a safe, supportive and positive environment for everyone. For more information or to talk to someone, visit their website or call 866-488-7386.

 

Follow Amelia on Twitter:

 

source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/Amelia/gay-children_b_954350.html

[Dave]

Bravo! Let's let the 6 year old be 6 years old... Analysis not needed...

 

http://img515.imageshack.us/img515/7042/bravo1.jpg

 

is that cat clapping???!!??

[bigvalboy]

Thank you Steven for posting this....

[Guest Merlin]

It is impossible to protect the children from hate and just saying she will do it will not solve the problem. She plans to announce that people will not be allowed to attack her gay children, etc. etc. She doesn't realize that the most important way to protect them from hate is to keep it secret, at least until they are out of school. Even people who do not show hatred will treat them differently, and their school experience will be quite different from the other kids. It will be the most important factor in their young lives.

[Guy Fawkes]

I disagree with you. I was literally in the middle of "Forced Desegregation." It was attitudes like that which caused problems. It was people like my fellow students that wouldn't stand for violence that solved it.

 

It is impossible to protect the children from hate and just saying she will do it will not solve the problem. She plans to announce that people will not be allowed to attack her gay children, etc. etc. She doesn't realize that the most important way to protect them from hate is to keep it secret, at least until they are out of school. Even people who do not show hatred will treat them differently, and their school experience will be quite different from the other kids. It will be the most important factor in their young lives.

[Phil_musc]

Thank you, Steven, for the follow-up post. This woman is an internet saint as far as I'm concerned. If more parents taught their children this woman's philosophy, the world would be a better place. She is a strong advocate for her son and for letting children discover themselves without prejudice. Brava to her.

[orbital sander]

The follow up was great, thank you for posting that Steven, it certainly explains a lot about the mother and her motivations.

[MsGuy]

She doesn't realize that the most important way to protect them from hate is to keep it secret, at least until they are out of school.

 

Merlin, how does one teach a 6 year old to keep this behavior secret without also teaching him that there's something wrong/dangerous/disgusting about his behavior? The parent's words may say, "You're OK, I love you." But their actions will say loud and clear, "For God's sake, don't act like such a little faggot."

[KMEM]

I liked the follow-up also. MsGuy, parents are ALWAYS saying don't do that or don't do this. There is no license to be a parent and often they are young, inexperieced and not otherwise ready to rear children. However, an average parent is MUCH better than none and two average parents is beyond description.

 

How do we all stop from "sending signals"? We don't and can't, more or less.

 

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[Guest Merlin]

MsGuy, the child will soon enough find that there are many people who do not like gays. Far better if the parents tell him--if indeed it turns out that he is gay--that many people mistakenly do not like gays, and that for that reason he should keep it secret as long as he can.

[orbital sander]

MsGuy, the child will soon enough find that there are many people who do not like gays. Far better if the parents tell him--if indeed it turns out that he is gay--that many people mistakenly do not like gays, and that for that reason he should keep it secret as long as he can.

 

This response would be hilarious...if it wasn't so sad that you really feel this way.