It's not nice to play head games...

[JoeyBryant]

I don't understand how a client can hire me for an evening, give me his business card afterwards and then call me a couple months down the line saying how much he enjoyed the encountered...and to contact next time I'm in town.

 

Yet, when I do I get jerked around a bit and then plays up as if he's ready to meet. Then, texts me "I have an issue with the whole paying for sex thing, but I really like you."

 

Stuff like that makes me speak foreign languages, e.g. French:mad:

[+ Gar1eth]

Joey,

 

I'm sorry if you were counting on the client and he left you high and dry-- but I'll make a statement for the other side. This may not be something you can understand being in the business. I in general like hiring. I've met some really nice guys-- and some of those guys have had really incredible bodies. Guys who on a private level would never have comennear me with a 10 foot pole-- at least on a sexual basis. I mean I'm a nice guy-- no reason they would avoid me socially. But unfortunately because I am not God's gift physically to the gay world-- paying for it is the only way I can get sex. And sometimes paying for it-- no matter how much I like the guy or how great looking he is-- just gets me incredibly down. I don't always like that I have pay for what others get relatively free. So maybe the guy was just not in a wanting to hire mood. I know it happens to me.

 

Gman

[instudiocity]

I don't always like that I have pay for what others get relatively free. So maybe the guy was just not in a wanting to hire mood. I know it happens to me.

Gman, I get what you're saying to Joey, and you may be right, BUT

 

I consider paying an escort for sex to be one of the least expensive ways to get sex. I have a straight friend who says, "A woman will fuck three times a day to get the marriage license, then once a year as a memorial."

 

What he's really saying is that for all the reasons people have for dating, marrying and sex, the bottom line is, sex is only guaranteed when you hire a sex worker for sex. Then you KNOW you're getting laid!

[+ Gar1eth]

Like the Beach Boys' Song Says 'Wouldn't It Be Nice?'

 

Gman, I get what you're saying to Joey, and you may be right, BUT

 

I consider paying an escort for sex to be one of the least expensive ways to get sex. I have a straight friend who says, "A woman will fuck three times a day to get the marriage license, then once a year as a memorial."

 

What he's really saying is that for all the reasons people have for dating, marrying and sex, the bottom line is, sex is only guaranteed when you hire a sex worker for sex. Then you KNOW you're getting laid!

 

So sue me-- occasionally I'd like to be out no more than a meal, maybe a movie, and a bottle of wine- and (this is the most important thing) with someone who likes me enough to want to have sex with me without it being a business transaction. I'm not saying I have to have undying love- but it sure would be nice doing 'it' with someone who is in 'like' with me for a change. It's probably not going to happen- but a guy can dream, can't he?

 

Gman

[RockHard]

Keeping it real.

 

So sue me-- occasionally I'd like to be out no more than a meal, maybe a movie, and a bottle of wine- and (this is the most important thing) with someone who likes me enough to want to have sex with me without it being a business transaction.

If this were my sincere desire, I would look to Match.com or some other dating service because escorts are paid to be sexually attracted to their customers. Typically, no money = no desire. I don't quite understand why some men have difficulty seperating fantasy from reality. Some men's escort expectations are completely unrealistic.

[NYTomcat]

If this were my sincere desire, I would look to Match.com or some other dating service because escorts are paid to be sexually attracted to their customers. Typically, no money = no desire. I don't quite understand why some men have difficulty seperating fantasy from reality. Some men's escort expectations are completely unrealistic.

No that's what gman is saying. Sometimes you want the fantasy and will pay but just because you wanted that last week month year, doesn't mean your looking for the fantasy the next time he comes to town... the client is being honest. As much fun as being with the escort is... not interested in the fantasy is fine. Escorts to need to understand. We don't always want the fantasy just cause they are in town... we know what it is and what it isn't and accept that. Just sometimes you don't want what it is .... so client is right... don't hire and live with not seeing the escort ...period.

 

Where Joey is right is the client should have said that before scheduling and booking.

[+ overeasy]

Have to agree with gman and nyt....well said, gentlemen.

[Guest RyanCade]

just because you wanted that last week month year, doesn't mean your looking for the fantasy the next time he comes to town... the client is being honest.

 

Right on TC and that goes for many different situations in life. People change from one day to the next. There is no need to take offense, we are all human and have that right. :-) Though if the escort really needed the business, I can see where it would get under his skin because HIS expectations were not met. It happens in this thing we call life. Hugs

[Guest greatness]

Gar1eth, I'm not an eye candy either. I simply lower my expectations to the extreme and there are guys I can be with. I like hard working guys. I have fallen in love with not so attractive guys and they were amazing. One's appearance really doesn't matter to me, it's one's heart that counts. If someone is willing to do something to make me happy then that's enough for me. If there seems to be no one, I try to be that person. As long as I can do it then there must be someone out there doing the same thing. It gives me comfort that it's not impossible. That makes my life happy. Happiness may come from what we have but it can also come from what we are capable of and our endless possibilities. Don't feel sorry that you have to pay for sex. You have money and luxury to do that. Please think positive. I think you are hot~~~ Hugs~~~

 

Joey,

 

I'm sorry if you were counting on the client and he left you high and dry-- but I'll make a statement for the other side. This may not be something you can understand being in the business. I in general like hiring. I've met some really nice guys-- and some of those guys have had really incredible bodies. Guys who on a private level would never have comennear me with a 10 foot pole-- at least on a sexual basis. I mean I'm a nice guy-- no reason they would avoid me socially. But unfortunately because I am not God's gift physically to the gay world-- paying for it is the only way I can get sex. And sometimes paying for it-- no matter how much I like the guy or how great looking he is-- just gets me incredibly down. I don't always like that I have pay for what others get relatively free. So maybe the guy was just not in a wanting to hire mood. I know it happens to me.

 

Gman

[Guest Spanky]

Gar1eth, I'm not an eye candy either. I simply lower my expectations to the extreme and there are guys I can be with. I like hard working guys. I have fallen in love with not so attractive guys and they were amazing. One's appearance really doesn't matter to me, it's one's heart that counts. If someone is willing to do something to make me happy then that's enough for me. If there seems to be no one, I try to be that person. As long as I can do it then there must be someone out there doing the same thing. It gives me comfort that it's not impossible. That makes my life happy. Happiness may come from what we have but it can also come from what we are capable of and our endless possibilities. Don't feel sorry that you have to pay for sex. You have money and luxury to do that. Please think positive. I think you are hot~~~ Hugs~~~

 

Greatness, it's hard to imagine that anyone could NOT fall in love with you.

[Phil_musc]

What a nice thing to write, Greatness. You sound like someone I would like to meet for coffee and know. And Tomcat, I think you hit the nail on the head. Clear-eyed and clear thinking.

[+ Gar1eth]

If this were my sincere desire, I would look to Match.com or some other dating service because escorts are paid to be sexually attracted to their customers. Typically, no money = no desire. I don't quite understand why some men have difficulty seperating fantasy from reality. Some men's escort expectations are completely unrealistic.

 

Rockhard-- just to clarify-- although NYTomCat was right about my post-- I am not looking for an escort to fall 'in like' with me and give me a freebie. My marbles and I have enough basis in reality to know that's not going to happen. If on the other hand you are referring to Joey's client--well you may be right about him having unreasonable, 'Pretty Woman' type expectations.

 

Gman

 

Gman

[RockHard]

Lick on this.

 

Yes, escorts should take gushing from a client with a grain of salt. Some customers will exit an appointment with their tongue still stuck up an escort's ass. There's no telling what a freshly-orgasmed man will say to savor the euphoria of the moment. (Someone should write that book.) Some men will say anything to leave the escort (and themselves) feeling jacked.

 

Escorts should not rely heavily on post-coital praise. The nature of the beast is that gay men enjoy variety and are always "high" after they ejaculate. Most customers are looking for something new and a new high with each encounter.

 

In my office, we often deal with heaps of praise: first-time clients telling us how fabulous we are and how they will "definitely" hire our services next go round. I've listened to this tune for many years. I tell all my employees not to book their vacations until that client's next check clears. Life offers lots of bullshit praise and promises but a deal isn't a deal until the next check clears.

 

I know it's difficult to imagine but escorts do have feelings, too. They should keep those feelings in check. It would be nice if some men (customers) could learn to keep their mouths shut and not promise something they probably will never deliver. (It helps to keep in mind that most of these men are good-intentioned. If you must listen and endure someone's bullshit, positive bullshit trumps negative.)

[instudiocity]

There's no telling what a freshly-orgasmed man will say to savor the euphoria of the moment.

I like that a lot - May I use it? I think I'd only make two changes:

There's no telling what a post-orgasmic man will say!

or maybe a third:

There's no telling what lie a post-orgasmic man will say!

[NYTomcat]

I like that a lot - May I use it? I think I'd only make two changes:

There's no telling what a post-orgasmic man will say!

or maybe a third:

There's no telling what lie a post-orgasmic man will say!

 

Funny thing is to me its usually the pre orgasmic man that will say anything. Post orgasmic is when Mr don't let the door hit you on the way out appears.

[Guest greatness]

Spanky you are so sweet as usual~~~ Hugs~~~

 

Greatness, it's hard to imagine that anyone could NOT fall in love with you.

[Guest greatness]

Oh my philmusc you are so sweet too. Yes I would love to meet for coffee too. I prefer tea though. Hugs~~~

 

What a nice thing to write, Greatness. You sound like someone I would like to meet for coffee and know. And Tomcat, I think you hit the nail on the head. Clear-eyed and clear thinking.

[JoeyBryant]

All responses made perfect sense.

 

But I explained this in detail some years ago on maleescortreview...its why I don't generally call or contact clients after the appointment. Period. Unless we've met up repeatedly. Because stuff like that happens.

 

I can't help that someone is angry with me or themselves because they paid for sex. All I can do is try my best, do what I do and hope that all turns out well afterwards. As far as getting all deep and technically, that's not my issue.

 

And like someone mentioned...when was sex ever free? If $180 is too much...go get some needy ass boy off the street and see how taxing that is in terms of money, time and energy. I know older guys who are happy in those type of relationships. More power to them....

 

However, my response to him verbatim was, "ah okay. well I misunderstood and assumed you wanted a heads up next time I'm in town. Have a great New Year!". I was annoyed...but not angry. And certainly wasn't going to show either one. After all, taking higher ground is much better. But...still, it was uncalled for to even do such a thing. I had a great time, he had a great time....we shouldn't have to bump heads cause money was involved.

[Guest greatness]

well

 

Point well taken and I see what you are trying to deliver here. I hope discussing it here helps you let it out and forget it. Hugs~~~

 

All responses made perfect sense.

 

But I explained this in detail some years ago on maleescortreview...its why I don't generally call or contact clients after the appointment. Period. Unless we've met up repeatedly. Because stuff like that happens.

 

I can't help that someone is angry with me or themselves because they paid for sex. All I can do is try my best, do what I do and hope that all turns out well afterwards. As far as getting all deep and technically, that's not my issue.

 

And like someone mentioned...when was sex ever free? If $180 is too much...go get some needy ass boy off the street and see how taxing that is in terms of money, time and energy. I know older guys who are happy in those type of relationships. More power to them....

 

However, my response to him verbatim was, "ah okay. well I misunderstood and assumed you wanted a heads up next time I'm in town. Have a great New Year!". I was annoyed...but not angry. And certainly wasn't going to show either one. After all, taking higher ground is much better. But...still, it was uncalled for to even do such a thing. I had a great time, he had a great time....we shouldn't have to bump heads cause money was involved.

[RockHard]

Kill them with kindness.

 

...my response to him verbatim was, "ah okay. well I misunderstood and assumed you wanted a heads up next time I'm in town. Have a great New Year!". I was annoyed...

Something tells me you conveyed your annoyance in your tone. Ending your sentence with "have a great new year" sounds bitter to me. I wasn't there so I could be wrong.

 

A true gentleman escort is gracious at all times, especially when confronted by a customer offering a rejection. Had I been you, I would have said, "I believe you asked me to contact you the next time I came to town. If I misunderstood this request then please accept my apologies for making this call. I really enjoyed you when I saw you last. Don't hesitate to contact me in the future if you want to repeat the fun. Happy New Year."

 

I don't think it's ever a good idea to burn bridges in business. Ever. With honey on your tongue, you'll attract sweeter customers. Never throw charm under a bus, especially in the face of a customer who says stupid shit. Charm is the most powerful aphrodisiac. Learn how to harness it and watch your business grow.

[Guest countryboywny]

Something tells me you conveyed your annoyance in your tone. Ending your sentence with "have a great new year" sounds bitter to me. I wasn't there so I could be wrong.

 

A true gentleman escort is gracious at all times, especially when confronted by a customer offering a rejection. Had I been you, I would have said, "I believe you asked me to contact you the next time I came to town. If I misunderstood this request then please accept my apologies for making this call. I really enjoyed you when I saw you last. Don't hesitate to contact me in the future if you want to repeat the fun. Happy New Year."

 

I don't think it's ever a good idea to burn bridges in business. Ever. With honey on your tongue, you'll attract sweeter customers. Never throw charm under a bus, especially in the face of a customer who says stupid shit. Charm is the most powerful aphrodisiac. Learn how to harness it and watch your business grow.

 

Very good advice for everyone, not just escorts.

[JoeyBryant]

Something tells me you conveyed your annoyance in your tone. Ending your sentence with "have a great new year" sounds bitter to me. I wasn't there so I could be wrong.

 

A true gentleman escort is gracious at all times, especially when confronted by a customer offering a rejection.

 

No bridges were burned. He never wanted to cross it in the 1st place. That was simply my hint to him to stop texting me as he'd spent the better part of 30 minutes carrying on about the appointment. Saying he needed to check his bank account, saying what his desires were...then saying, "go ahead and book someone else man, I have a problem with the whole paying for sex thing." He actually did text back, "thanks for understanding". He assumed that I actually understood...

 

And what human nature law did you read that says a true escort is gracious at all times? I'm sorry...but my kindness only goes as far as I feel is necessary. That's like me calling pizza hut, ordering a pizza...making all the special request and toppings for the pizza and then saying, "you know, go ahead and find another pizza customer...I think I'm just going to put 1 in the oven." Except pizza hut probabaly has another 15-20 clients lined up for that day. But I always like using the pizza delivery example...

 

Sometimes, I rather put someone in their respectful place the moment I sense they are not taking me seriously. It doesn't matter if we've met once or 300 times. If a client has the audacity to waste my time, then I have the audacity to tell him to sod off...however nice I am and however much I want their business.

 

Its also another reason why I don't like setting things up thru text. 8 times out of 10 it means, "I don't really want to book you, I just want to write about it." If I don't say something, they'd be happy to text me for hours which may prevent me from focusing on other clients.

 

And FYI, anyone who ever says to me "I have a problem with the whole paying for sex thing", I would not be taking the chance to 1. allow them to make another appointment and 2. Meet them again. That's quite disrespectful and I much rather find clients who are happy paying for it , or at the very least...who don't show that they aren't happy by voicing to me that what I'm doing may possibly be wrong.

[gcursor]

Personally I agree

 

I do agree with you very much Joey. this is why it's so hard sometime to email the escorts and pin down a date. Because they just don't understand who's being serious and who's not. Then we all get shaded in one specific color (i.e. a few bad apples etc etc) Personally it makes me very sad to think people act this way as they did with you

 

gcursor

 

I don't understand how a client can hire me for an evening, give me his business card afterwards and then call me a couple months down the line saying how much he enjoyed the encountered...and to contact next time I'm in town.

 

Yet, when I do I get jerked around a bit and then plays up as if he's ready to meet. Then, texts me "I have an issue with the whole paying for sex thing, but I really like you."

 

Stuff like that makes me speak foreign languages, e.g. French:mad:

[RockHard]

Oh dear.

 

And what human nature law did you read that says a true escort is gracious at all times?

Someone forgot the word "gentleman." I wrote a "true gentleman escort." Remove the word "gentleman" and you're left with average, ordinary, and utterly common.

 

That's like me calling pizza hut...

Analogies that include pizza from Pizza Hut don't exist in my realm. My work is done here. On to another thread.

[tenderloin]

Great discussion. It really struck a cord with me. I have a Mexican cutie I have been seeing regularly for almost three years. I have no trouble compensating him for what he brings to me, but I do have to say that it would be a total turn on if, one time, he said "this one's on me." I get hard even thinking about it.