Can a client and escort be good friends? Close Friends?

[Guest IndyMedic2006]

I have heard it said a couple times by certain people, but I want to pose the question, can an escort and a client become more then just that.... Can they become close friends? Friends that send birthday cards and gifts and call to 'check in' on you to see if your ok. Can you become friends when a client or escort contacts the other out of the blue for advice? Can a escort go out of his way to mail a special package to a client for no other reason then to make the client happy! I think I have found such an escort/friend/friend with benefit.... What do you all think?

[+ Gar1eth]

I have heard it said a couple times by certain people, but I want to pose the question, can an escort and a client become more then just that.... Can they become close friends? Friends that send birthday cards and gifts and call to 'check in' on you to see if your ok. Can you become friends when a client or escort contacts the other out of the blue for advice? Can a escort go out of his way to mail a special package to a client for no other reason then to make the client happy! I think I have found such an escort/friend/friend with benefit.... What do you all think?[/color][/size][/font][/center][/b]

 

I think it can happen-- but to be a true friendship-- I think it's rare. The problem is the involvement of sex and emotions. It is so easy to say or think-- he's having sex with me. He must like me deep down. Case in point- I have a friend who is personal friends with or at least good acquaintances with a former escort. They never met on a professional level. My friend asked what would it have taken for the former escort to turn down a client. The escort said the potential client would have to have been pretty bad. So my feelings are-- while I think an escort can be fond of a client-- to be true friends-- either with benefits or without is rare--then it needs to be on a non- monetary basis. And if gifts are involved, they need to be of equal value on both sides. You know the movie Pretty Woman was a fantasy-- that woman and some men liked because true love overcame all. But if that kind of thing happened often-- the movie wouldn't have been fantasy but biography-- and the movie wouldn't have done near as well at the box office.

 

Gman

[Guest greatness]

Congrats! That's awesome. I think that's possible. Some clients and escorts really get along well. I hope it works out well. Kisses and hugs~~~ I am prone to think if an escort does that for me then he must love me. lol.. so escorts have to be all business for me so I don't feel attached or have wrong ideas.

[johnjohn]

YES , YES ,YES

I have 3 such friends, we started out as me hiring, now friends,

# 1 we met, became friends,tho dont get to see each other often since work for both make impossible, still hire when we do.

# 2 progressed to more of kinds bfs loved each other then kind of grew apart. He could not deal with being gay from his religous beliefs,

which I understand, wish we still played but moved on.

# 3 Met him 1989,22 yrs ago we had a client/escort relationship for 10yrs or so , becoming freinds, I actually condsider him one of, if not my BEST friend

even tho we live 500 miles apart, someone listen to you when u happy, sad , crying. someone you know is there when you need him and I am here for Him.

Takes a while for these things to happen , so don't rush it.

Oh yea I hope the english major does not make a comment on my grammer, i was not good at english, well i am from the South with a strong southern drawl LOL

[NYTomcat]

This old saw again. Lol. I've asked it a hundred times. Just ignore most of what we say

 

He's a human ... so are you. Yes you can be friends.

 

The question is how do you feel and how does he and do you question it cause there is money involved.

 

Only you can answer that

...

 

 

 

But if you enjoy his company. What difference does it make. If he is there for you he is a friend

If he is only there when you pay.... he is an employee. But only time will give you those answers.

[JT Brooklyn]

I've become Good Friends with 2 "Working Guys" with whom I stopped doing "Biz" a long time ago. It can and does happen!

[Rick Munroe]

Darrin Stevens and Larry Tate were best friends, even though Larry was Darrin's boss. Ricky Ricardo and Fred Mertz were best friends, even though Ricky paid rent to Fred each month. And even though those are sitcom examples, it's definitely true in real life that you can be friends - even close friends - with someone whom you pay for a service (doctor, lawyer, house painter, etc).

[MsGuy]

I've been friends with clients, with my doctor and even with my preacher, once I convinced him to stop trying to bring me to Jesus, so of course you can be friends with an escort. Just keep two things in mind if/when it happens:

 

1) I still expected my friends to pay me for professional services, as my doctor expected payment from me. Even my kindly, gentle hearted preacher would soon depart if the church's paycheck kept bouncing.

 

2) One of the many functions of sex is to scramble one's brains to the point of risking one's life to protect folks who, in other circumstances, one might consider carving up for supper. Just another way of saying keep your eyes open, use whatever common sense you've been blessed with and think with your big head as much as possible.

[Guest greatness]

Oh my MsGuy, don't tell me you thought me of that way while we were engaged! If so, we are over.. done... finished.. Wait.. we didn't have sex while we were engaged. That means you truly loved me! Should me get back together then? Do you still have the engagement ring you gave me? lol Kisses and hugs..

 

2) One of the many functions of sex is to scramble one's brains to the point of risking one's life to protect someone who, in other circumstances, one might consider carving up for supper. Just another way of saying keep your eyes open, use whatever common sense you've been blessed with and think with your big head as much as possible.

[MsGuy]

Greatness, I already told you I'd keep a candle lit in the window for you. In my heart, I always knew you'd be back.

 

http://images.clipartof.com/small/28739-Clipart-Illustration-Of-A-Romantic-Red-Haired-Woman-Leaning-Forward-With-Her-Lips-Puckered-Waiting-For-A-Kiss-From-Her-Boyfriend-Or-Husband-Red-Hearts-Above.jpg

[Guest greatness]

Aww MsGuy you are so sweet. No sex until we get married though. I want it to be special.

[Diverdan]

All things are possible. But in this situation they rarely work out in the long run, but when they do it is wonderful. I had one such experience where we started out in a business situation and ended up being very good friends. But, I have to say it was very hard and only worked because we had so much in common other than what I was paying for! You have gotten some good advise here, and I would only add, "take it very slowly" and make sure the other party is moving along in the relationship in the same way you are. With other business relationships and friendships you don't have the intimacy issues, but even those can be worked through. When it happens it is wonderful, just be sure not all of your eggs are in this basket.

DD

[jawjateck]

Friends? Yes, it's happened three times for me in 10 years. Lovers? BFs? No way; first and foremost, because anything that looks like a relationship is anathema to me. I am happily single. All three of these began because I hired them on multiple occasions, but each transitioned into friendships that did not involve sex or the exchange of money/benefits. I met #1 about 8 years ago. A hottie? oh yeah! But also a super nice guy. We would check in with each other from time to time, hang out, grab dinner/coffee, etc. It ended because he returned to the professional work force and moved to the left coast to take a new job, and I was happy for him. I met #2 in 2008. Incredibly sexual man and amazing body. I was prepared to end the friendship with him because he was becoming too "clingy" (i.e. too relational for me and investing too much emotion for my liking), but I avoided that situation when he decided to re-enroll in college, and moved to another state. I met #3 this year, and we remain friends, seeing each other off the clock, and just enjoy hanging out and talking about life.

 

So yes, friendships can develop even though they began as business transactions, but don't ever go there with a "working guy", if your emotions are susceptible to imagining a relationship future with a guy who gives no hint of being interested in such a thing. He will move on from the friendship more easily than you.

[JackTwist]

So yes, friendships can develop even though they began as business transactions, but don't ever go there with a "working guy", if your emotions are susceptible to imagining a relationship future with a guy who gives no hint of being interested in such a thing. He will move on from the friendship more easily than you.

 

Well said Jawja. I totally agree with your assessment.

[RockCreekRunr]

If a client feels that an escort truly wants to be his best friend, I suggest that client stop compensating his "best friend w/benefits" escort for six consecutive months and see whether the escort: 1) keeps calling, 2) keeps emailing, 3) continues meeting with him just to chat over coffee, and 4) offers to fuck him for free. If he does all this without pay, congratulations, you've got yourself a bonafide true-blue "friend with benefits." On the other hand, if the escort doesn't do these things, he is probably just another great paid companion, but not a true "close friend". It's interesting how often the escort-to-client "close friendship" quickly fades when the client-to-escort money-flow stops.

[jgoo]

There is a wide spectrum and different types of "friendships", from the casual to those with a deep connection. I personally believe it is more likely to have those friendships with escorts that are on the one end of the spectrum (more casual) but I am sure a deeper type of friendship is possible, just less likely. Like most deep friendships, they tend to start with being casual and evolve over time. So take things slowly and see how things go but be aware how each side sees the relationship as it matures to make sure things do not get out of balance, which is sure to cause problems.

[Guest IndyMedic2006]

This old saw again. Lol. I've asked it a hundred times. Just ignore most of what we say

 

He's a human ... so are you. Yes you can be friends.

 

The question is how do you feel and how does he and do you question it cause there is money involved.

 

Only you can answer that

...

 

 

 

But if you enjoy his company. What difference does it make. If he is there for you he is a friend

If he is only there when you pay.... he is an employee. But only time will give you those answers.

 

Short and Sweet answer TC! I already have the answer. I just let some comment make me wonder so I thought others might be wondering the same question! But Your answer is spot on TC

[+ sf westcoaster]

I can say withpout hesitation that, yes you can be friends and even very close friends with an escort - just be award of boundries.

[Michael Wayne]

great thread everyone. The answer is YES! BUTTTTTTTTTTTT.........the sex has to stop. It has been said you never loan money to a friend which I have learned the hard way but also you do not fuck or get fucked by your friend. Two of my dearest friends in the world are FORMER clients. They both fell deeply in love with me but I was not attracted to them as boyfriend material. I did, however, love each of them deeply as friends. So I cut them off sexually so as not to lead them on and we remain very close to this very day. Another scenario is possible however: My clients are the Who's who of the gay world (and the closeted straight world as well) so I constantly meet an endless parade of potential boyfriends many of which are VERY HOT and looking. They pay not because they have to but because they WANT to which makes my job a hell of alot of fun many times. My current Boyfriend (who accepts my job just as if I were a doctor, lawyer or accountant) and I met this way. Someone should start a thread about escorting AND having a boyfriend. Now that would be interesting reading. Good day to all from the BIG EASY. http://www.rentboy.com/mikey9nola1

[Guest greatness]

Oh my mikey9nola... I envy you! People like you never have problems meeting other people. For people like me I really have to try hard and still get rejected. Who blames them I am not attractive. Even not so attractive people don't want to do things with me. Good for you. Kisses and hugs~~~

[+ Gar1eth]

Darrin Stevens and Larry Tate were best friends, even though Larry was Darrin's boss. Ricky Ricardo and Fred Mertz were best friends, even though Ricky paid rent to Fred each month. And even though those are sitcom examples, it's definitely true in real life that you can be friends - even close friends - with someone whom you pay for a service (doctor, lawyer, house painter, etc).

 

Sorry Rick, while I do sometimes agree with you-- and I'm not saying that escorts and clients can never be friends-- I have to call you out on this one. It's too self-serving for the escort in this case. Even if the doctor is my friend, I don't expect to fall in love with him ( well maybe I do, but only the hunky ones ;-) ). Sex/emotions/love--or even like--as long as the escort is getting paid--well they might be friends but the escort certainly isn't showing it. And in general while some people can handle it, I think a large proportion of people can't handle the friends with benefits thing. I think as males we do it better than women-- but even for us-- when those endorphins kick in just on an instinctual level if it's someone you have sex frequently with either friend or escort I think emotions come in to play-- I think the human race is designed that way.

 

Gman

[AdamSmith]

My best friend on earth is someone I first met by hiring him. Rare; dangerous; precious.

[KMEM]

BUT, using you own words, rare, etc. Nonetheless, good on both of you.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

 

PS---Who are among your friends not on this earth?

[AdamSmith]

BUT, using you own words, rare, etc.

 

Thk u. My point being (as you well know): To assume that every single one of these connections must in the end reduce to zero degrees Kelvin is just too cynical to countenance. Why then bother?

 

PS---Who are among your friends not on this earth?

 

Well, more and more of them, alas. As before:

 

http://www.maleescortreview.com/forum/index.php?/topic/3706-deaths/page__p__19441__hl__sarcophagus

[Guest greatness]

oh my AdamSmith, you read poems too? My 7th grade English teacher was so hot. Whenever he talked about a novel or a poem, I would just day dream watching him..

 

Thk u. My point being (as you well know): To assume that every single one of these connections must in the end reduce to zero degrees Kelvin is just too cynical to countenance. Why then bother?

 

 

 

Well, more and more of them, alas. As before:

 

http://www.maleescortreview.com/forum/index.php?/topic/3706-deaths/page__p__19441__hl__sarcophagus