Wanted: Flirting Tips

[+ Hoover42]

It seems many, if not most, gay men have no problem finding and picking up guys. I've often heard variations of the statement, "If you're not getting enough sex, you're too picky", and, "Gay men can get sex whenever they want it."

 

For various reasons, which I won't bore you with, I have not found that to be true for me at all. I appear to be completely oblivious to cruising signals from other guys; as far as I can tell, no one ever looks twice at me.

 

I'm assuming that it's not because I'm just too damn ugly to attract a guy and that all I need is to improve my cruising skills.

 

Therefore, I turn to you for help.

 

I've decided that it's time for a remedial course in gay cruising.

 

I'm looking for hints on how to tell if someone is interested, and how to let him know you're interested. For example, one pointer I picked up recently was that if a guy doesn't look at you, then you could assume that he’s not interested in you.

 

Any other pointers will be much appreciated!

[Guest Thunderbuns]

>For example, one pointer I picked up recently was that if a guy

>doesn't look at you, then you could assume that he’s not

>interested in you.

 

Nothing could be farther from the truth - He may be VERY interested in you but just to shy, possibly due to his own self-esteem issues, to make eye contact.

 

If you see someone you're interested in - just walk up and say "Hi"

You'll be amazed at what this can lead to!

 

Thunderbuns

[Guest Merlin]

Most importantly, if he makes eye contact with you and lingers or comes back, you are justified in thinking he is interested. So go the next step and approach him. "Faint heart never won fair maiden" or something like that.

[foxy]

I used to think if I was interested in a guy in a bar he wouldn't be interested in me. If someone was interested in me I wouldn't be interested in them. Now I just talk to everybody. The funny thing is, is that everyone is just hoping someone will make the first move. Sometimes, just for the hell of it, I just go up the the best looking guy in the bar and start talking to him. More often than not, he talks back. He may not go home with you (and that's ok) but others notice. Just being honestly friendly seems to work wonders. I also like to talk to bartenders and if you tip them well they are good ice breakers for the person sitting next to you.

[hiJinX]

Glad I'm not the only one who is bad with the cruising and flirting thing....

A bartender, who was admittedly interested in getting into my pants, upon realising I was actually too shy to approach anyone, explained it to me like this:

"When a tall (6'3") attractive guy like you walks into a room full of fags by himself, most guys are going to be immediately intimidated and not approach you, another % will automatically think you are too high maintinance to approach, and the others are prolly so high on themselves that you wouldn't want to approach them anyway."

 

So this is likely applicable for many other factors that everyone carries around and others make assumptions about us. As someone mentioned elsewhere in this thread, everyone is waiting for someone else to make the first move.

 

As an ex roomie of mine put it "If your paths cross with someone you are interested in, you HAVE to make some kind of effort to reach out and connect with that person. Smile, slip them your number, say "hi", anything. You never know if you will see them again, so take your shot and be fearless."

Incidentally he got loads of ass while we lived together.

 

Like most things, it gets easier after you do it a couple times.