The Q-tip goes where??!!

[catnip]

Too bad about the discomfort, but it'll go away in a day. Your MD sucks for not telling you it would hurt. I hope you gave him hell for it. The dickhead should also have told you what to expect for the next 24 hours.

[Guest miketx]

As it has been over a month since I gave up my monkish existance, I decided it would be wise to be tested for any STD's I might have picked up. While I have no doubt that I'm fine, I figured a clean bill of health wouldn't hurt.

 

I thought that they would just draw some blood. WRONG. When the doctor took out the swab & explained to me the procedure, I thought he was joking. While he was putting his gloves on & I was dropping trou, I did not believe for a second he was telling the truth. When he grabbed my dick it started to sink in what was going to happen so I asked him if would hurt; he said no. That's why I was looking when he shoved it in. ouch, ouch, OUCH! After it was over he told me some guys do scream. I just yelled ouch a bunch of times.

 

And to top it all off, it now hurts when I urinate. I was so embarrassed to be standing at the urinal in my gym wimpering like a little girl while peeing.

 

What sicko designed a test like this? I had no problem with having blood drawn, but to be violated with a q-tip is another thing entirely.

 

Guzzling vodka tonics as I write this,

Miketx

[eastbayguy]

Yes, this is a real test, as you learned. Usually, they don't do this test unless there is a discharge present. The idea is to capture some of the discharge, culture it and examine the growth to determine exactly what bacteria are causing an active infection.

 

Small comfort, but you're the first person I've heard of who has undergone a urethral swab without complaining of either symptoms or having a discharge. Or maybe your doctor is just thorough.

 

FYI, there are people in the world who really, really get off on having their urethra probed with various forms of a device called a "sound". These are wicked metal probes in one of two forms which are inserted deeply. Deeply enough to stimulate the prostate gland from within. The resulting sensations are apparently quite amazing.

 

Meanwhile, get well soon.

 

--EBG

 

P. S. If you're curious about how I know about sounds, I have a video I might be willing to copy and swap for something equally interesting.

[Rod Hagen]

P. S. If you're curious about how I know about sounds, I

>have a video I might be willing to copy and swap for

>something equally interesting.

 

Is it "Laid Up", because I'd like to rid myself of that paper weight as well? I rented and dubbed it because Vincenzo and I were to work over, cooperatively (See? No Split-Infinitives!), a hot client of mine, and so this damned porno was going to be research. Man I did not appreciate the shock-factor of seeing a daddy-bear insert a sound into his pee-hole. Further, it really wasn't necessary for him to proceed to actually FUCK that hole with it, I was sufficiently agog already; thanks anyway. I almost puked. Do the words "Fuck You" mean anything to you Titan Films? That was just wrong.

 

When I complained about it to friend, he said, "That's nothing" and proceeded to describe a scene in another Titan (don't get me wrong, I like Titan generally) Film's Director's cut on DVD, a character actually has an IV bag of Saline Solution fed, via a needle of course, into his ball sac. That's just swell.

[eastbayguy]

Hi,

 

>Is it "Laid Up", because I'd like to rid myself of that

>paper weight as well? I rented and dubbed it because

>Vincenzo and I were to work over, cooperatively (See? No

>Split-Infinitives!), a hot client of mine, and so this

>damned porno was going to be research. Man I did not

>appreciate the shock-factor of seeing a daddy-bear insert a

>sound into his pee-hole. Further, it really wasn't

>necessary for him to proceed to actually FUCK that hole with

>it, I was sufficiently agog already; thanks anyway. I

>almost puked. Do the words "Fuck You" mean anything to you

>Titan Films? That was just wrong.

 

No, this isn't a professionally produced tape. This is some stuff that was shot at a demo in some club. The person on the receiving end seems to be enjoying himself immensely. I have quite a collection of underground videos of all shapes, flavors and interests. Many are quite funny, things like student projects for film school but some are pretty hard core. There is a small group of us that have swapped these things around for years.

 

>When I complained about it to friend, he said, "That's

>nothing" and proceeded to describe a scene in another Titan

>(don't get me wrong, I like Titan generally) Film's

>Director's cut on DVD, a character actually has an IV bag of

>Saline Solution fed, via a needle of course, into his ball

>sac. That's just swell.

 

No pun intended...

 

}>

 

--EBG

[trilingual]

I remember getting confronted with this back during my wild youth. Experiencing a little burn in the nether regions, I went to the student health service for a test. This being back in the "anything goes" early '70s, I'd had the clap numerous times, and any number of VD tests over the years, and they'd never been a big deal. But I'd never heard of the Q-tip. WELL (as Jack Benny put it so beautifully) this doc whips out this mini-Q-tip thing on a long wire and starts heading for my dick with it. This is when Tri discovered a phobia he didn't know he had! :o I just told the nut-case that if he took one step closer to me with that thing I'd hurt him! But that he wasn't sticking ANYTHING up my dick. We reached an acceptable solution. Since I actually did have a bit of a discharge (I never waited for things to get bad before seeking treatment, so I never had a really bad case) he handed me the swab and said just to put it in the tip of the urethra to absorb some of it. That seems to have been enough to do a culture, and I went home with my antibiotics, which always cleared it up in a day or so.

 

As far as I'm concerned, that swab is just a sadistic trick. Every other time I had to be tested it was either a regular type Q-tip to get a bit of the discharge at the tip, or even smearing some directly from the penis onto a glass slide. Totally painless, and evidently perfectly effective. So if you're ever confronted with this creepy procedure, just remember that there are effective alternatives. And don't take "no" or "the doctor knows best" for an answer. :7

[Guest miketx]

Well I think I'll live after all. Just peed & no pain.

 

As far as the Doctor telling me it wouldn't hurt, I should have known better, I've never met one that said "yes, this will hurt". However it would have been nice to have known about the after effects.

 

I have heard of sounds, and had the unfortunate opportunity to see someone give a quick demonstation on the internet. To each his own.

 

Next week I'll see the counselor that tested me for HIV and agreed I should get all the STD tests. I've decided to punch him.

 

Miketx

[Barry]

Sorry to hear what you went through Miketx. I'm not sure why you had to go through the swab method. Currently you only need to provide a urine speciman and everything can be done from that.

 

Barry

[Guest Thunderbuns]

>Sorry to hear what you went through Miketx. I'm not sure

>why you had to go through the swab method. Currently you

>only need to provide a urine speciman and everything can be

>done from that.

 

It does sound kinda suspicious doesn't it. Wonder if his MD likes to shove things up dicks........ Hm........ Think the doc might be cute & hunky? We could all switch to him :-)

 

And speaking as one who gets a bladder exam every three months via the same "route" I would advise a shot of liquid valium if he ever has to have it done again. Makes you very relaxed!!!

 

Thunderbuns

[Prime Muscle]

>

>FYI, there are people in the world who really, really get

>off on having their urethra probed with various forms of a

>device called a "sound". These are wicked metal probes in

>one of two forms which are inserted deeply. Deeply enough

>to stimulate the prostate gland from within. The resulting

>sensations are apparently quite amazing.

 

 

... there are even some who take it a step farther my running electricity through the sound. But I have tried neither a sound or electricity.

[Guest miketx]

>>Sorry to hear what you went through Miketx. I'm not sure

>>why you had to go through the swab method. Currently you

>>only need to provide a urine speciman and everything can be

>>done from that.

 

You have me curious about that now, I ask when I get my results.

 

>It does sound kinda suspicious doesn't it. Wonder if his MD

>likes to shove things up dicks........ Hm........ Think the

>doc might be cute & hunky? We could all switch to him :-)

 

After he finished the "procedure" he had me go to another room for the blood work. I asked him why & he said he was just in charge of "sticking dicks".

 

Now that I look back, I don't think he was a doctor. Maybe he was a nurse or a volunteer from the local leather community?

[jasne]

It was discovered, several years ago, that the infection could be detected in a guy's urine. The rule is that the sample be taken immediately after you wake up in the morning and take a leak. With that, I can't understand why this invasive and painful procedure is still used. If you are being screened for STDs, just give the guy a cup with instructions and tell him to bring it back next day. This procedure is used as follow-up to a positive swab test when docs choose to be thorough as the antibiotics, on rare occasions, may not eliminate the infections entirely.

 

I still think you're better off with a guy doc as they can at least be more sympathetic.