Gay Acting or Straight Acting?

[+ Gar1eth]

Lankypeters in a thread on the Deli section made mention that he thought that the use of the term "straight acting" as well as an escort describing himself as "bi" are indications of homophobia. I am not going to get into discussion of the term "bi' and what it means in relationship to escorts, but I would like to talk about the terms "gay acting" and 'straight acting".

 

I have to agree with Lanky--to some extent it is a sign of homophobia--but IMO in many cases it is more of society entrenched idea than specific homophobia by an individual. I mean c'mon--if someone says they are 'straight acting" most reasonable people, "and of course all of us are reasonable men" to paraphrase W. Shakespeare a bit, realize that the person is trying to say that they are not effeminate. And obviously people described as 'gay acting" would be more effeminate.

 

I am not a psychologist, nor am I up on the handkerchief code , or the Myers Briggs personality types. I will admit to being far from the most masculine acting guy on the block, but I don't think I am overtly feminine in mannerisms.

 

But of course some gay people act "perfectly" straight in outward mannerisms and occasionally straight guys seem more effeminate than average.

 

In contrast to Lanky, I don't mind the terms that much in this context. The terms get across the image the escort wants us to have--and that is the purpose of communication, isnt it? To allow us to understand one another.

 

Gman

[josephga]

I never liked the term acting. A persons masculine, effeminate or sometimes in-between But I don't think anyone's acting

[Boomer]

I think it's a rediculous and meaningless term. Although I do understand that a lot of gay men are turned on by straight men. Is that internalized homophobia? Perhaps. Frankly, I'm only turned on by men that are gay and available or some of my straight friends who are "gay acting."

[NYTomcat]

While I would tend to agree with this statement I have noticed myself chameleon a bit. Im definately more flamboyant. In dress and mannerisms when im out with the boys at club 20 or even dinner with an escort. At life im much more reserved and and preppy looking. Hell on a recent trip when visiting an escort I was all decked in my designer jeans gucci shades etc. Things i would never where at home. Is it an act? Which one? Dont know but its how im comfortable in each situation. So its me at the time.

 

 

 

I never liked the term acting. A persons masculine, effeminate or sometimes in-between But I don't think anyone's acting

[body2body]

Years ago in one of the old AOL chatrooms, a guy looking to hook up described himself as "straight acting" to which one of the other participants replied "Are you more straight acting when you have a dick in mouth, or one up your ass". That pretty much said it all as far as I was concerned.

[josephga]

Years ago in one of the old AOL chatrooms, a guy looking to hook up described himself as "straight acting" to which one of the other participants replied "Are you more straight acting when you have a dick in mouth, or one up your ass". That pretty much said it all as far as I was concerned.

 

lmao I remember seeing on a guys profile once, that he didn't want too date a guy that when his mouth opens a purse falls out

[+ Gar1eth]

This is a tough one--I still maintain these terms are a description of how people act or how they want to be perceived as acting. As such I think they are useful. Although if there could be better descriptive terms, I wouldn't mind them being used.

 

I don't want an escort with the mannerisms of Ross the Tonight Show Intern

 

http://www.evtv1.com/player.aspx?itemnum=6543

 

 

Gman

[Guest DuchessIvanaKizznhugg]

Good post, Gar1eth

 

I do think it's a form of homophobia....it's both a discomfort with and put-down of certain types of behaviour. But the behaviour has nothing to do with our sexual orientation.

 

In its general usage, if a gay man described themselves as "straight-acting" I understand it to mean yes, I'm gay....I like men...BUT, I'm NOT like those

a) outrageous flamers you see in the pride parade coverage on the news;

b) noisy protestors demanding equal rights; or

c) fill in the blank of other discomfort-causing behaviour.

I think it's an attempt to classify multiple behaviour characteristics that aren't necessarily mutually exclusive. For example,

-Masculine vs. Feminine (Ball player vs drag queen)

-Emotionally guarded vs. Expressive/flamboyant (Larry King vs. Richard Simmons)

-mainstream vs. fringe. (watch golf and football on TV, not figure skating and opera coverage)

 

Because of this disconnect, I think it's really careless communication.

"Straight-acting" could mean I drink beer, scratch my balls, and fart noisily in public!! (And sometimes, all 3!)

With changing cultural norms, increasingly there are a lot of straight men who have nightly skin-care regimens that would have put my mother to shame! So "straight-acting" can have a (pretty) broad net.

 

To me, someone who describes themselves as straight-acting isn't really telling me much.....except that they aren't really comfortable in their own skin.

 

So, straight-acting, be gone.

Before someone drops a house on you.

[body2body]

Perfect summation Duchess, Amen!

[jackcali]

I think that words like "straight-acting" or "gay-acting" are less desirable than a descriptive term such as "masculine" or "effeminate" because the former imply that there is a straight stereotype and a gay stereotype, much to the diminution of the diversity of both straight men and gay men. There are plenty of straight men with many effeminate qualities and plenty of gay men with none of them. Descriptions of behavior are better because they don't reinforce that pernicious masculine=straight/effeminate=gay dichotomy. (I'm sure that many people think in those terms anyway, though I believe that is changing.) And how do you fit bisexuals into this mix?

 

I myself have no problems with straight guys who suck dick or care only about buying shoes or gay guys who can talk my ear off about college football and like sexing up a woman every now and then. If they're good people, I'll respect them and the way they identify themselves. Mankind is just too complicated for easy categorization, and that's a wonderful thing.

[orbital sander]

Honestly, the word "acting" seems a bit misleading. As some others have mentioned, I have known many straight guys who were very effeminate. Most people would assume that these guys were gay, but they were not. I dislike any labels...I am attracted to men...end of story. It is not a political thing for me at all. Additionally, I have had several straight friends who have been willing to fool around with me at various times, but other than that they live straight lives. I always chalked these experiences up to people who trusted me enough to be "experimental" with. I think that the lines are much more blurred than people sometimes care to admit.

[NYTomcat]

Honestly, the word "acting" seems a bit misleading. As some others have mentioned, I have known many straight guys who were very effeminate. Most people would assume that these guys were gay, but they were not. I dislike any labels...I am attracted to men...end of story. It is not a political thing for me at all. Additionally, I have had several straight friends who have been willing to fool around with me at various times, but other than that they live straight lives. I always chalked these experiences up to people who trusted me enough to be "experimental" with. I think that the lines are much more blurred than people sometimes care to admit.

Amen and hallelujah. Brother

[seeker630]

You've stated MY feelings pretty well too!

 

I think that words like "straight-acting" or "gay-acting" are less desirable than a descriptive term such as "masculine" or "effeminate" because the former imply that there is a straight stereotype and a gay stereotype, much to the diminution of the diversity of both straight men and gay men. There are plenty of straight men with many effeminate qualities and plenty of gay men with none of them. Descriptions of behavior are better because they don't reinforce that pernicious masculine=straight/effeminate=gay dichotomy. (I'm sure that many people think in those terms anyway, though I believe that is changing.) And how do you fit bisexuals into this mix?

 

I myself have no problems with straight guys who suck dick or care only about buying shoes or gay guys who can talk my ear off about college football and like sexing up a woman every now and then. If they're good people, I'll respect them and the way they identify themselves. Mankind is just too complicated for easy categorization, and that's a wonderful thing.

 

Of course, we can next go into a discussion of 'masculine' as a sterotype too.

[jackcali]

Ha, that's a discussion for another thread, Seeker. Or maybe for an evening at the local sports bar over a single malt scotch or three.