Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

[Guest ChgoBoy]

There always seems to be sooo much drama when relationships go bad. Especially gay relationships. Yelling and screaming and pointing the finger of blame.

 

I'm wondering what is the best and most mature way of ending a relationship when it seems as though things just aren't working out any longer?

 

I know some people try and publicly slaughter the "other half" when things have gone south, by posting ugly slurs and in some cases even the other persons photo on the web to extract revenge and paint them as unworthy lovers. But this to me seems like an immature and hateful approach to the end of a relationship.

 

It always seems that the person publicly screaming "foul", just like the Republicans trying to cover up their sexual orientation - Is the one generally most at fault for the break up of the relationship.

 

So I'm wondering, are there any good ways of ending a relationship when two people can no longer get along?

 

How do most mature people handle these type things?

[orbital sander]

There always seems to be sooo much drama when relationships go bad. Especially gay relationships. Yelling and screaming and pointing the finger of blame.

 

I'm wondering what is the best and most mature way of ending a relationship when it seems as though things just aren't working out any longer?

 

I know some people try and publicly slaughter the "other half" when things have gone south, by posting ugly slurs and in some cases even the other persons photo on the web to extract revenge and paint them as unworthy lovers. But this to me seems like an immature and hateful approach to the end of a relationship.

 

It always seems that the person publicly screaming "foul", just like the Republicans trying to cover up their sexual orientation - Is the one generally most at fault for the break up of the relationship.

 

So I'm wondering, are there any good ways of ending a relationship when two people can no longer get along?

 

How do most mature people handle these type things?

 

So are all the Republicans trying to cover up their sexual orientations....?

 

Ending a relationship is never easy, but I have never went through the drama that you describe. In my experiences, when I knew it was over, I just focused on not assigning blame. Yes, some of his friends & family thought I was an ass, and I was prepared for that, as I hurt their "boy"...but I never, never disparaged him to others and I focused on my new future and moved ahead. It is tough, and certainly not perfect, but not wallowing in the past really helps. Cut your losses and get on with life, and wish the other party well and let them do what they must...you cannot control what they do

[josephga]

I never understood the whole trashing of an ex. my first bf and i broke up after the first year together. and to this day he trashes me too guys he goes out with. keeping in mind we dated 12 years ago.. He lied and cheated on me but goes around with the whole act of how i wouldn't let him have any gay friends. he had no friends when we met lol. I think people pull this stuff to try to get pitty hoping the next guy they are interested in. Iv been cheated on twice and might mention it as well as other things on this board but my rule is the never discuss a ex with anyone i might be interested in seeing.. I went to dinner with a guy couple of years ago that told me every guy he dated cheated on him. i would feel funny telling people that.. as far as ending a relationship. I think it should be done in person maybe sitting down alone together, not on the phone and not in a text nor email

[OneFinger]

So I'm wondering, are there any good ways of ending a relationship when two people can no longer get along?

 

How do most mature people handle these type things?

 

Personally, I'm not good at ending relationships so you're better off without my advice.

 

But, I had some straight friends (with kids) go through a divorce. They handled it by sending out a "divorce" announcement. It was a nicely printed card with their picture on the front. She's standing in the door holding a fry pan and he's sheepishly walking out the door carrying a suitcase. Right under the picture was a caption that read:

 

Joe and Mary have decided to go their separate ways...

 

On the inside it read:

 

Mary and kids will be staying in the house. Joe is now going to be living the Susan and her kids.

 

Everything is fine between us. Please keep in touch with both of us.

 

While the divorce and infidelity was not news to most of us, their way of handling it put us at ease. It helped us realize that we didn't need to choose to be friends with one or the other. Years later, I still keep in touch with both of them.

[instudiocity]

I never understood the whole trashing of an ex

 

As with all other situations in life, there are two ways to make yourself look good:

 

1. Work hard to just BE good.

2. Point out the deficiencies in others so that you can look good.

 

Many take the lesser road.

[JT Brooklyn]

"Maturity" can take a Lifetime..Then it's too Late for most of us!

[orbital sander]

Personally, I'm not good at ending relationships so you're better off without my advice.

 

But, I had some straight friends (with kids) go through a divorce. They handled it by sending out a "divorce" announcement. It was a nicely printed card with their picture on the front. She's standing in the door holding a fry pan and he's sheepishly walking out the door carrying a suitcase. Right under the picture was a caption that read:

 

Joe and Mary have decided to go their separate ways...

 

On the inside it read:

 

Mary and kids will be staying in the house. Joe is now going to be living the Susan and her kids.

 

Everything is fine between us. Please keep in touch with both of us.

 

While the divorce and infidelity was not news to most of us, their way of handling it put us at ease. It helped us realize that we didn't need to choose to be friends with one or the other. Years later, I still keep in touch with both of them.

 

Wow...I would have loved to get one of those cards. It sounds like they had a pretty healthy attitude about it all....definitely the exception and not the rule