Share your experiences with us.

[doitb4ugo]

In an effort to take up NYTomcat's challenge to raise the level of discourse here at this forum, I would like to follow his lead and ask posters about there first/early BDSM experiences.

 

When did you know what it was that turned you on....

 

What fetishes appeal to you the most.

 

Also any descriptions/explanations of what you enjoy and why would help all of us understand what this area of sexual activity is about.

[doitb4ugo]

I will be happy to start.

 

I am very new to m2m sex of any kind. While experimenting in the vanilla escort world, I started to learn what I liked and what did not really turn me on. I quickly realized (with help from Sean Knight) that I was chasing sexual activities and not thinking too much about how I felt. With this in mind, I started to realize that what I was searching for was a connection where I could disappear in someone else's pleasure and become secondary to making some feel worshiped. I applied this thought process and discovered that the bondage and sub aspect of BDSM gave me exactly what I was looking for. I have yet to apply very much pain to the mix and am thinking to do so gradually. Being tied up and dominated gives me huge pleasure of letting someone take control and fullfill their own fantasies through me....I have asoemwhat poetic vision of ebeing covered by a sexy guy who gets bigger and bigger while I shrink to almost nothing and am getting eveloped by there physicality - swallowed up and consumed by their sexuality.

 

That's my story in a nutshell. All this has taken place in the last 4 months.

[whipped guy]

It started very early

 

I have asoemwhat poetic vision of ebeing covered by a sexy guy who gets bigger and bigger while I shrink to almost nothing and am getting eveloped by there physicality - swallowed up and consumed by their sexuality.

Shoot! That almost mirrors dreams I had as a child. I recall dreaming of a huge bodybuilder enveloping me. I was lying on the ground and he gets on top of me. His genitals are in my face and I can feel the power of his thighs pressing against my head and smell the sweet sweaty scent of his crotch. As I posted earlier today in another thread, I really did not know why I had such a smile on my face... and didn't realize the sexual nature of this reoccurring dream... In retrospect, I guess I really wanted to be swallowed up and completely lost in his sexuality.

 

I also recall viewing flogging scenes in movies as a child and I wanted to be the guy on the receiving end. Such thoughts put a smile on my face and again I had no clue as to why. I remember drooling over such scenes and that’s when I think it all really began…

 

Of course years of repression followed… but my feelings were there from a very early age… I have discussed this with others who are into BDSM and they all say that there is something innate in one's psyche… it’s an intrinsic portion of one’s persona… and that applies to both sides of the equation.

 

As for the enjoyment factor... getting flogged, or having my nipples tortured, etc. is the equivalent of being banged for the typical vanilla guy... Actually I am getting banged a bit more in the literal sence... while when others refer to getting banged they are really speaking a bit more metaphorically...

 

OK Doit and Tomcat... I have tried to raise the bar here... I have posted using words such as persona, psyche, metaphorically, etc. Hopefully that sufficiently "raises the level of discourse"...

[doitb4ugo]

Consider me Raised

 

 

OK Doit and Tomcat... I have tried to raise the bar here... I have posted using words such as persona, psyche, metaphorically, etc. Hopefully that sufficiently "raises the level of discourse"...

 

Whipped, I can tell you that your postings generally are so enlightening given my similar thoughts and memories. Also your posts not only raise the level of discourse but seem to raise something else in me.

[whipped guy]

Identity revealed!

 

Also your posts not only raise the level of discourse but seem to raise something else in me.

 

He raises!!

 

I knew it!!!!

 

You are the Pillsbury Dough-itb4ugo Boy!!!

 

http://coolrain44.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/pillsbury_doughboy.jpg

[doitb4ugo]

He raises!!

 

I knew it!!!!

 

You are the Pillsbury Dough-itb4ugo Boy!!!

 

http://coolrain44.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/pillsbury_doughboy.jpg

 

You've exposed my most recent fetish...I rub myself all over with Crisco and then roll around in a bed of flour....Then If I can find the right guy, I let them use a rolling pin on me.

 

I have just brought down the level of discourse again....I can't help playing the fool.

[whipped guy]

You've exposed my most recent fetish...I rub myself all over with Crisco and then roll around in a bed of flour....Then If I can find the right guy, I let them use a rolling pin on me.

Hmmm...Crisco and a rolling pin... there are definitely possibilities there... now the flour part I'm not sure if I get... but yes! I think I see where you are going! Does it involve a frying pan??? Sounds hot to me!

I have just brought down the level of discourse again....I can't help playing the fool.

Au contraire, mon frère...you have actually raised the bar even further... you have one of the the sharpest wits here... droll and urbane at the same time!

 

Of course I just raised the level of discourse a few notches myself mon ami by dropping a few French words...

[NYTomcat]

Ok you boyz are just too much its a good thing we lock you both down here in the dungeon of the fetish forum. Whatever will I do with you. I can only hope your both hogtied and flogged so vehemently at the bondage club that NY can be saved from round two if you both get free.

 

Seriously I love you guyz.

 

Keep it up. raising the dough and all

[uwsman2]

channeling the whipped guy...

 

Hey, whipped guy. You and I had very similar experiences leading into bdsm. As a kid, I used to get very stimulated if there was any kind of bondage or punishment scene in a movie I was seeing. Especially the rare flogging scene. By my early 20s I was experimenting with gay sex, proved to be rather inept at the bar scene so started hiring escorts occasionally, but always of the vanilla variety. Then, finally in my mid-40s, I just couldn't suppress those urges to be tied up and abused, and started doing research on bondage escorts. Only a handful advertised in NYC, and my innate caution and fears kept me back for a long time, until I had read enough reviews and explored enough escort websites to feel there were at least a few I could try out and trust. Also, visiting the NY Bondage Club a few times helped me understand what was possible, although for the longest time I was just a spectator there.

 

The first really successful actual experience was with Master Victor in NYC. Tall, slim, commanding, with his small, walk-up East Village apartment converted into a fantasy dungeon setting. We traded e-mail back and forth as I spelled out in detail my fantasy and finally I committed to an appointment. It was quite an event for me - I wanted the total fantasy and we had arranged for him to leave his door unlocked when he buzzed me into the building - I would come into the darkened room with a disembodied voice commanding me to strip and stand at attention, hands behind my back. He stealthily approached from behind with the blindfold, tied me up and abused me exactly as we had discussed. I was trying to process all this, trying to figure out why I was stimulated, feeling a bit guilty about it. What was most important to me was the conversation we had after the scene was over, processing it together. Thus encouraged that this was something I could safely explore, I made appointments with several different bondage experts over the next few years, and also explored the NY Bondage Club. My most intense experiences were the two times I was with Reece Rothmeier - wow! - whose retirement from the scene left me distraught. I was back to Master Victor a few times, but eventually he seems to have withdrawn from the scene as well.

 

At present, I don't have a bdsm escort in NYC.... Reading the reviews as they come out, I'm on a continuous lookout for the right guy to connect with. There is one who has gotten quite a few good reviews but who is off-limits because he is the former boyfriend of a longtime friend of mine, and when I tried setting up an appointment years ago he realized from the initial communications who I was and demurred. Others sound interesting, but little details in the reviews send up warning flags about whether their judgment can be trusted. Occasional visitor from Chicago Raul Manzo has provided me with the occasional bondage and SM experience, which has proved very meaningful and stimulating, but his visits to NYC are only occasional -- and sometimes his brief time in NYC doesn't coincide with my availability... So I remain on the lookout for the right local guy, and hope I can have some bdsm experiences with Raul over the course of the year.

[uwsman2]

where do the fetishes come from?

 

Sometimes an early experience plants a subliminal urge that only surfaces later....

 

For some time one of my fetishes has been gut-punching. I love having the chance to really slug the tight, hard gut of a muscular young guy. And love to watch it being done to somebody else, which makes me hard, as I imagine myself as the receiver. But where does this come from? I've even experienced being the receiver, a bit tentatively, with escorts and at some sessions at NY Bondage Club years ago, but it's actually difficult to find people willing to do this - it's very definitely a minority fetish that most people consider really perverted.

 

One film that impressed me a lot as a kid was the old schlocky historical epic, "Taras Bulba," starring Yul Brynner as the fierce Cossack leader and Tony Curtis as his love-lorn older son. I hadn't seen it since I was a kid, but recently got the DVD and actually watched it last night. And there it was - gutpunching! Could it be that this film, which I saw as a kid, planted the seed? When old Taras wants to challenge his whippersnapper son to a fight, what they do is a short gutpunching contest - twice during the film. Old Taras wins the first time - takes young Andre's hardest punch without a flinch or a wimper, then knocks the youngster on his ass with the first slug to the gut. Years later, the kid is more grown up and "back from school" and manages to get a response from old Taras on his first slug.

 

Anyway, perhaps this film planted the seed in my subsconscious, eroticizing the idea of gutpunching for me. (The film also has my other great fetish - early scene when the young Cossack teens show up at the Polish school, get sucked into fighting by the rowdy Polish boys, and are then disciplined by the monks - shirts off, take the position, and flogging!!!)

[Romann]

Because my search has been exhausting and I'm quite picky about who I study under (no pun intended or maybe just a little), I have FINALLY found a Master here in Dallas (FINALLY!) who I'm meeting with this coming Friday for a few hours. I'm highly excited about this because my interest, though kept quiet for some time has been peaking especially after a certain encounter with a poster on this forum. <wink wink, nod nod> While this will not be my first experience (I've had a few encounters last year) it certainly will be with someone who supposedly is very much into the BDSM scene and is very much willing to be a teacher.

 

I shall report soon enough about how it goes this coming Friday morning and I'll have some new tricks for you on my next round to Bean town, doitb4ugo.

 

Speaking of my search here in Dallas, I noticed something that was somewhat frustrating... I was on various sites scanning through profiles for others interested in BDSM and those that were highly experienced more often than not, weren't receptive to the entire teaching experience. I detailed that I certainly wasn't a virgin to the scene and discussed my past experiences but the request was often rejected. Is this normal practice? While I understand their position to some degree, at the same time everyone had to start at square zero and learn from someone who offered and provided experience.

[Alan]

Can hardly wait to experience what you learn! Wish I could go with you on Friday morning to observe and learn, too!

[whipped guy]

Common bonds...

 

My most intense experiences were the two times I was with Reece Rothmeier - wow! - whose retirement from the scene left me distraught.

I am still distraught... Reece was the perfect man... no he was beyond perfecton... a gorgeous hunk of humanity... and what a superb human being! I submitted three reviews over the years that we played... and he just got better and better... I am sure that I was not his most advanced client, but he told me I was his most intense.

 

One film that impressed me a lot as a kid was the old schlocky historical epic, "Taras Bulba,"

For me it was the flogging scene in Duel of the Titans a B Movie about Romulus and Remus and the founding of Rome.

[Guest Wetnwildbear]

I agree - No Novices Please

 

Because my search has been exhausting and I'm quite picky about who I study under (no pun intended or maybe just a little), I have FINALLY found a Master here in Dallas (FINALLY!) who I'm meeting with this coming Friday for a few hours. I'm highly excited about this because my interest, though kept quiet for some time has been peaking especially after a certain encounter with a poster on this forum. <wink wink, nod nod> While this will not be my first experience (I've had a few encounters last year) it certainly will be with someone who supposedly is very much into the BDSM scene and is very much willing to be a teacher.

 

I shall report soon enough about how it goes this coming Friday morning and I'll have some new tricks for you on my next round to Bean town, doitb4ugo.

 

Speaking of my search here in Dallas, I noticed something that was somewhat frustrating... I was on various sites scanning through profiles for others interested in BDSM and those that were highly experienced more often than not, weren't receptive to the entire teaching experience. I detailed that I certainly wasn't a virgin to the scene and discussed my past experiences but the request was often rejected. Is this normal practice? While I understand their position to some degree, at the same time everyone had to start at square zero and learn from someone who offered and provided experience.

 

 

I agree with your sentiments that everyone has to start someplace in BDSM. Through personal experience I have found that novices often, unlike experienced players cannot endure physically, what the mind creates as desired fantasy or fixiation.

 

If you do not have a dedicated dungeon (I dont and neither do most people) but I have an extensive collection of many types of "gear" for different scenes (Ask Tyger of Portland) it takes a lot of time and effort to setup for many scenes.

 

Usually what happens is the novice freaks when the reality of what they have requested becomes concrete sensation. The scene ends - The Master is left Hard - Horny -Frustrated - with Lots of Gear to pack up, reorganize, clean and store.

 

The Slave/bottom goes home and jerks off.

 

As opposed to exp'd players - who easily recover from the reality of a fantasy that is better left a fantasy for them. But they and the Master/top can move onto other activities which the slave/bottom anxiously embrace.

 

I guess that is why I was never into twinks - Puppies are cute when they are someone elses, but who really wants to housebreak one?

 

This is based on my personal perspective - From many years of experience

[whipped guy]

Perhaps I was an exception

 

Through personal experience I have found that novices often, unlike experienced players cannot endure physically, what the mind creates as desired fantasy or fixiation.

Not in my case... I was actually afraid that the guy would not go far enough... He took me right up to the edge... but the escort was wise enough to not cross the line even though I most likely would have been able to do so... He left me wanting more, and that was probably a good thing as we built a relationship based on trust, confidence, and respect in the process of discovering all that the world of BDSM has to offer...