A Question About Straight Hunks

[+ Lucky]

Does it really matter whether the "young hunk" in the vet's office was gay or straight?? You noticed his appeal and he paid no attention to you--I shall not assume you made it very obvious that you were checking him out, but even covert glances, etc. are normally noticed and either acted on or ignored.

He ignored you-- which means one of several things:

1. He was not interested in you--whether he is straight or gay. I ignore social opportunities all the time--because I'm not interested, don't have time, for a variety of reasons. My actions have nothing to do with whether I'm gay or straight.

2. He was in the vet's office for a purpose and saw no reason to respond to anything else.

3. He's in a committed relationship---gay or straight is moot---not on the market.

4. Perhaps, just perhaps, you are very obviously gay and he did not react---maybe he did not pick up on your interest, maybe he was distracted, maybe he is straight and didn't want to be politically incorrect in paying attention to you. Who knows?

 

You saw a handsome young hunk and he ignored you---it happens. And as you get older and older it will happen more and more, even by the gay ones. It would be great if we could all have some "radar" that would enable us to determine a person's sexuality-----don't believe it's possible and doubt if there are those who "know" that so-and-so is gay or straight just by observation or from a distance. And as others have pointed out, it is becoming more and more difficult to distinguish--and perhaps that is as it should be? Be thankful that you were given some "eye candy" in a place which would have been less interesting had he not been there.

 

 

At my age, I am lucky if a young hunk evens registers my existence. There was no scenario in the above situation where I/we felt that we might be picking this guy up. We were simply sitting, waiting for our dog as he was his, and wondering who and what this cute guy is. It was simply a diversion to pass the time. If he had, in fact, shown any interest, there would have been a completely different thread!

 

The dog was about 20 pounds, but I don't know the breed. It was cute and not rugged. Finally, for the record, the hunk in question showed no interest in any of the 40 or so people there. I guess picking up your dog is just that.

 

For those that could not take this as simply a light-hearted thread that extended the diversion for awhile, well, lighten up.

[Guest ChgoBoy]

 

Exactly, greatness. Except that I think he did know I was droolling all over him and still chose to ignore it.

 

We were simply sitting, waiting for our dog as he was his, and wondering who and what this cute guy is.

 

lol.

 

Heckyll and Jekyll or Jekyll and Hyde?

[Samai139]

Lucky--Thanks for clarifying the situation. I didn't realise there were so many people in the waiting area, and I either did not notice, or ignored, the fact that you were with someone--may I assume your partner? Given those facts, it's understandable that you would notice a handsome young hunk and that he would, perhaps not ignore you, but not notice your presence at all.

I like your humourous approach to being more or less "ignored" by younger people--when it first begins to happen, when? at 30+ --it's alarming. Now? At my advanced age, I'm happy when younger people, men or women, look at me, acknowledge my existence, and sometimes smile and say "Hello" as happened at the beach today.

I confess I love looking at the handsome young hunks, wherever they are, and whatever their sexuality. We can always dream and fantasize can't we?

Thanks for a thread that made me think about every-day encounters.

[JoeyBryant]

I use to have this friend that worked at lowe's. One day this guy comes through my friends checkout line. He is very attracted to the guy but feels the guys most likely str8. He waits on the guy then after the guy leaves takes his check out of his register Writes down the guys name and number. When he gets home he calls the guy. Turned out the guy was str8, lucky for him the guy didn't get upset over it. I would have never done such a thing. He could have lost his job or got that ass whooped.

 

Thats what you call 'risky' behavior. You have to use caution when picking up someone at their job and definently wouldn't if I worked in a public place like Lowes, no matter how hot they looked or how much I thought they were into me.

 

But thats what sucks about being gay (as much comfortable I am about myself, it can suck!). Its not simply being concerned about being rejected over appearance, you have to 1st figure out whether they are gay or not. With those 2 variables, the chances of randomly meeting another guy and instantly connecting is just too slim.

 

Of course there's plenty of closeted guys out there, but if they are doing any playing around its online. Sites like Adam4Adam open people up to lots of different gay guys, so taking risks like calling some random person who may be straight, married, and into a different race is unnecessary. Its a shame though that those sites are filled with broken people who are socially inept, or too busy, or just got out of a relationship, or is just a loser.

 

Sometimes I ask myself when will the world (or the U.S.) become completely accepting of gays, as in...if one approached you and you are straight, you just say, "oh, I'm not gay?"

 

Personally, I've found it tough to meet guys in normal settings in the places I lived. Although I dont 'stick' to only 1 race of guy, I see alot of Latino and White guys that I wouldn't mind to get with. The nature of the gay community lends itself that Im a minority, and although I feel advantaged with myself in escorting I feel disadvantaged in my personal life when dealing with gays. Simply put, many of them are racist. So not only do I have to figure out if they are gay, or if the attraction is there, I have to figure out if they are even into Black guys. And having known lots of non-Black gay guys over the years...either they only get with Black guys or they never get with Black guys. Yes there is an in-between, but those numbers aren't as high as the 2 variables. You'd think that the younger guys my age would be more open, but its actually the older guys who are more willing to explore. The younger gay guys out here can be so closed minded. Its like really, "you cannot tell me you have NEVER seen a Black guy you'd be attracted to. Or that you'd NEVER get with one of those White guys with the ripped body". The fact that I hear so many IDIOTS express and believe that "I dont get with (fill in race that gay guy wouldn't ever get with) is beyond me.

 

Anyhow, bringing it back to the topic...LOL, I wouldn't fantasize about some guy in a store. However, I do believe in small talk and making conversation. If I see someone attractive, I'll small talk with them with no expectations of him being gay or liking me. Sometimes, just by doing that makes it more comfortable because many times you just want to talk to the person, not necessarily want to take it anywhere. Being that I intiated the conversation, the ball is in their court to suggest anything beyond the neutral, no pressure conversation we're having. And if I started the conversation, I make sure I walk away 1st so as to not monopolize their time.

 

P.S. my friend just texted me on his trip to Palm Springs that its gotten 'so fruity there'. Now, places like that...I'd just assume the best and hope they're gay LOL

[josephga]

Thats what you call 'risky' behavior. You have to use caution when picking up someone at their job and definently wouldn't if I worked in a public place like Lowes, no matter how hot they looked or how much I thought they were into me.

 

But thats what sucks about being gay (as much comfortable I am about myself, it can suck!). Its not simply being concerned about being rejected over appearance, you have to 1st figure out whether they are gay or not. With those 2 variables, the chances of randomly meeting another guy and instantly connecting is just too slim.

 

Of course there's plenty of closeted guys out there, but if they are doing any playing around its online. Sites like Adam4Adam open people up to lots of different gay guys, so taking risks like calling some random person who may be straight, married, and into a different race is unnecessary. Its a shame though that those sites are filled with broken people who are socially inept, or too busy, or just got out of a relationship, or is just a loser.

 

Sometimes I ask myself when will the world (or the U.S.) become completely accepting of gays, as in...if one approached you and you are straight, you just say, "oh, I'm not gay?"

 

Personally, I've found it tough to meet guys in normal settings in the places I lived. Although I dont 'stick' to only 1 race of guy, I see alot of Latino and White guys that I wouldn't mind to get with. The nature of the gay community lends itself that Im a minority, and although I feel advantaged with myself in escorting I feel disadvantaged in my personal life when dealing with gays. Simply put, many of them are racist. So not only do I have to figure out if they are gay, or if the attraction is there, I have to figure out if they are even into Black guys. And having known lots of non-Black gay guys over the years...either they only get with Black guys or they never get with Black guys. Yes there is an in-between, but those numbers aren't as high as the 2 variables. You'd think that the younger guys my age would be more open, but its actually the older guys who are more willing to explore. The younger gay guys out here can be so closed minded. Its like really, "you cannot tell me you have NEVER seen a Black guy you'd be attracted to. Or that you'd NEVER get with one of those White guys with the ripped body". The fact that I hear so many IDIOTS express and believe that "I dont get with (fill in race that gay guy wouldn't ever get with) is beyond me.

 

Anyhow, bringing it back to the topic...LOL, I wouldn't fantasize about some guy in a store. However, I do believe in small talk and making conversation. If I see someone attractive, I'll small talk with them with no expectations of him being gay or liking me. Sometimes, just by doing that makes it more comfortable because many times you just want to talk to the person, not necessarily want to take it anywhere. Being that I intiated the conversation, the ball is in their court to suggest anything beyond the neutral, no pressure conversation we're having. And if I started the conversation, I make sure I walk away 1st so as to not monopolize their time.

 

P.S. my friend just texted me on his trip to Palm Springs that its gotten 'so fruity there'. Now, places like that...I'd just assume the best and hope they're gay LOL

 

Every guy Iv ever dated In the past I met on line but now days I'm very reluctant to do so and haven't been on a date in a very long time. match . com might be different but imo guys on sites like gay com or adam4adam are not datable. Most of them are addicted to chatting on those sites and arn't willing to give it up once serious.

[JoeyBryant]

imo guys on sites like gay com or adam4adam are not datable. Most of them are addicted to chatting on those sites and arn't willing to give it up once serious.

 

Exactly. Everytime I meet someone good off of there they are always online and its no wonder it never goes anywhere. And those same guys wouldn't know how to initiate a conversation or maintain a relationship in real life if the shit came with instructions.

[josephga]

Exactly. Everytime I meet someone good off of there they are always online and its no wonder it never goes anywhere. And those same guys wouldn't know how to initiate a conversation or maintain a relationship in real life if the shit came with instructions.

 

lol yup i met my first bf on gay com. I stopped going in there and thought he would have stopped to. 3 months after moving in with him he started sneaking around the computer closing the browser when i entered the room. he was addicted to talking in there. relationship ended around the 1 year point. I wasn't going to compete with a computer. flirting is one thing but playing footsy on line making guys think your single leading them on is another. he would tell guys he was single so they would chat and flirt then blow them off once they pushed too meet, i thought it was mean. we met with a therapist and she said he was an emotional cheater and was addicted to that stuff and needed the approval of people that didn't really matter.. one week he was visiting family in Florida and i rented a uhaul lol

[+ ArVaGuy]

Exactly, greatness. Except that I think he did know I was droolling over him and still chose to ignore it.

 

My conclusion is that he was a Marine from the 29 Palms base. I did forget to mention that he had some tags hanging from his neck which could have been dog tags- I didn't get close enough to read them. That still doesn't meant he is straight, but he sure was good at remaining focused on listening to his Ipad and ignoring those around him...that is, until they came out with his dog and he went hysterical with glee....well, not really, but he was happy. He was actually quite butch.

 

Anyway, he was definitely one of the hottest guys to hit town in quite a while.

 

Well....odds are good if he's a Marine then he's likely a bottom.

 

Just speaking from personal experience.

[bostonman]

lol yup i met my first bf on gay com. I stopped going in there and thought he would have stopped too. 3 months after moving in with him he started sneaking around the computer closing the browser when i entered the room. he was addicted to talking in there. relationship ended around the 1 year point. I wasn't going to compete with a computer. flirting is one thing but playing footsy on line making guys think you're single leading them on is another. he would tell guys he was single so they would chat and flirt then blow them off once they pushed to meet, i thought it was mean.

 

Yup - I find this on Manhunt as well (and Silverdaddies) - with this catch, sometimes - guys who tell me they're seeing someone so they can't meet ("just out here looking at pics" or "just talking to guys I'm friends with out here" etc) - but their profiles never seem to say that they're off the market. When I question that ("hey, just curious why you wouldn't mention that in your profile, to save having a lot of unwanted advances") they'll sometimes make up excuses like "oh gee, I don't even know what my profile even says anymore" or "I haven't had time to update it" or whatever.

 

In one case, there's a guy I actually used to get together with every now and then (even before the days of computer meet-ups, when phone line hookups were the big thing), who has a rather sexually suggestive profile - but he's claimed to me that he's been seeing someone (going maybe on 2 years at this point) and doesn't want to jeopardize that relationship. Ok, I think - more power to him - and I have no reason to believe he's lying to me (given our past - he knows I'd be fine if he just said he wasn't interested anymore). Nevertheless, he got very indignant and upset when I asked why he won't change his profile to mention that he's taken. And he doesn't talk to me anymore. WTF???

 

Then there are the guys who ARE honest about their being partnered - and sometimes they'll mention that their bf is ok with the arrangement - and I have to wonder if that's really true - or are they just sneaking around and trying to make it sound like it's ok?

 

On the other hand, I *have* met some very nice, very hot, very responsible guys online. So one never knows...;-)

[JoeyBryant]

but their profiles never seem to say that they're off the market. When I question that ("hey, just curious why you wouldn't mention that in your profile, to save having a lot of unwanted advances") they'll sometimes make up excuses like "oh gee, I don't even know what my profile even says anymore" or "I haven't had time to update it" or whatever.

 

Thats why whenever people start behaving flaky; e.g. cancelling, rescheduling, things coming up last minute, etc I just assume they are already involved and try to move on. I give about 2 times before I make the assumption though.

 

And Joseph, you hit it right on the nail. I always thought that many of the guys online seemed to just want attention. The real flaky ones never meet. But there's the more subtle, who'll meet like once or twice, and then text me to death for the next 2 months until I tell them to go F themselves. The hell do I look like spending 2 hours texting just to see what Im doing? Go F yourself dude, is what I tell them LOL.

 

I used the phone line thing awhile back, but I found that to have more genuine people than online. Only drawback was you couldn't see a face, but those people were more interested in meeting someone because face it, being on a phone line is not fun....whats the incentive to keep using it. The web sites, well its a narcotic. I also find sites like Adam promote it, by forcing you to look at porn on every page. How romantic, makes me wanna settle down right away As long as they continue doing that, all it will be good for is escorting and flakes.

 

I can accept, understand and respect being discreet with escorting, but in my personal life I will have no part of it.

[josephga]

that's why I haven't dated in so long. I can't relax to enjoy a relationship If i make clear I'm not interested in open relationships or cheating, if a person can't honor that then they shouldn't date me in the first place. Having secret friends, texting people then stopping when i enter the room. closing a web browser, fuck that.

[JoeyBryant]

that's why I haven't dated in so long. I can't relax to enjoy a relationship If i make clear I'm not interested in open relationships or cheating, if a person can't honor that then they shouldn't date me in the first place. Having secret friends, texting people then stopping when i enter the room. closing a web browser, fuck that.

 

Well, there is hope out there. I've always found that cities like New York (ok, there is no city like NY, I know) actually breed more 'material' than cities with just a large underworld gay commnity who's only means of being 'out' is a sweaty ass bar.

 

I used to meet people from New York in Florida all the time, and the guys my age would be used to having coffee dates, going to museums, walking the town...stuff that straight people do

 

In some of these other cities, all they know is Adam and the club. Nevermind the tons of other activites there are to do out there.