HELP! plagued by flakes

[raulgmanzo]

I am about to go mad.

 

Tonight I rushed for an appointment downtown, only to have the guy disappear on me, not answer

phone or email. Before getting really upset I waited a long time in case there is a good reason, and maybe there is, but it is too often.

I know this happens to us all.

 

But it has happened to me so many times this winter and spring. In Feb I had MORE flakes than actual appointments. Really.

Recently I was conned into lugging 50 pounds (I weighed it) of fetish gear for a long appointment only to find out that the guy gave me a bogus room number.

Still I waited two hours in the lobby just in case it was an honest mistake.

Am getting tired of wasted travel effort and in some cases turning down other appointments.

 

Shit between all the appointments that have fallen through on my last trips to NY (sometimes very good reasons, othertimes not), and all the rush downtown, or even to the suburbs, or even just standby and wait, I am nuts, and broke, and spirit broken.

 

Think I am about to just give up.

I feel like such a fool.

 

Oh and now an hour or so after this post I get a B.S. call from 312-416-7501, anyone know that number?

Think I will start a thread in the ask an escort forum.

[Guest greatness]

I'm sorry

 

Wow I'm sorry that you are having a hard time with flakes. You are such a

nice person and I don't why they do that. I will look into the number and let you know if I find something. Cheer up. I will visit you sometime in Chicago and we can do something nice to make you feel better.

 

Cheers

[edjames]

I understand your frustration. Wouldn't it be best, that as a matter of your own personal policy, to verify the appointment before you leave your home and travel to a fictious hotel or apartment address? Perhaps you should request the name of the hotel, call them and verify the room?

 

ED

[+ David-SF]

seems to be a spoof number

 

probably a common number reused for many different reasons.

 

http://whocallsme.com/Phone-Number.aspx/3124167501

 

call me if you need to talk I am really bummed your having such a hard time if you need me for anything let me know I am home.

xo David

[+ ArVaGuy]

Raul,

 

I'm sorry to learn of your recent frustrations with flakey clients. Often on this board the bias falls toward client related issues seldom considering the challenges the more professional escorts like yourself face on a regular basis. A few points that you may want to consider.

 

Due to the lousy economic situation it's possible that some people are acting out their frustrations. There's a perception that all escorts make tons of money and in my view some people act out and mess around with escorts like this as a form of jealousy.

 

Others are just assholes and do such things for the entertainment factor their decrepit little lives need to make up for personal inadequacy.

 

My suggestion is that you review each of the situations you experienced of late and assess what went wrong in your screening process. What is lacking in your client evaluation that is leading you to book these kooks?

 

You offer some specialized services that require a lot of preparation on your part; it's only fair that clients seeking these services prove to you that they are serious about their intentions. Serious clients won't mind such and will appreciate the professionalism.

 

The flakes and jackasses will get frustrated and eliminate themselves by not booking. If those types complain on here or some other board, so be it. It's your business and you need to set the parameters that work for the services you offer.

 

I'm sure you do this already but perhaps you can seek to enhance your existing client cultivation techniques. Consider how you can take the one offs and two offs to establish a level of more frequent sessions. You no doubt have a few regulars, what can you do to get more is what I'm suggesting.

 

Reach out to the network of escorts on this board to compare processes and what they are doing to keep the flakes to a minimum. Both Kevin Slater and Juan Vancouver come to mind as guys you should contact for advice.

 

I hope that this is helpful to you and that this plague of flakes is only temporary. Best wishes the future.

[josephga]

I use to get calls from numbers like that. or later find out they called from a phone booth. get the massage table ready the towel steamer going and some jack ass not so up. I had one guy get out of his car walk around in the parking lot then get back in his car and leave. they chicken out. it looks good on paper but when it comes down to it they chicken out. Then there's people that have no intention in the first place of showing up they get their thrills out of booking sessions and not showing. They don't get that this is your job your current career it's not something you do just for kicks it's your bread and butter. If a person didn't show for a dentist or doctors appointment they are expected to still pay. imo this should be treated no different..

[Juan Vancouver]

Big, tight hug...

 

Hey handsome,

 

Sorry that you are having such a bad time. Your situation really sounds hard to deal with, but I would like to remind you of all the good times that you have had, and that most of the time in your life things go well. Relax a little, take some time to pamper yourself and remember that no matter how bad you may feel this period is, this will soon pass and things will start looking bright again.

 

Also I would like to invite to to be even more careful now. I know that when things are not going well one feels tempted to accept appointments even if your best instinct says not to.

 

I personally never go to a hotel unless I receive a name and room number and then I call to the hotel, confirm that data and speak with my client in the room through the hotel phone. Needless to say that I have never gotten a flake with this kind of confirmation. Of course, there are a few people who would not book because they are not comfortable giving away their information, but I am even less comfortable risking my safety, my time, my business and peace of mind. Besides I am convinced that 90 percent of the people who would not want to give their names to confirm an appointment with an escort are themselves either flakes or shady characters, or are battling with their gay demons so intensely that you may get caught in the middle, so I am better off without meeting them. (I have made appointments and met a few very prominent, well known people who had no qualms about giving their name beforehand.)

 

Even if you need an appointment right now, I think your state of mind can't really afford yet another flake.

 

As for going to meet people at homes, when I lived in Canada I used to only go to outcalls if the landline and address matched. If they didn't then I would recommend to meet at my place or a hotel. Serious people would always comply, I did lose some business, but never -ever- got a flake. (It is an entirely different story in Europe, but so far it hasn't been bad.)

 

It is possible that some clients or maybe even escorts here may come and write that you cannot ask for so much information in advance, that meeting more people, especially closeted people and afraid people is much better than being so demanding and strict about safety, but I can assure you that your peace of mind, your safety and the sensation that you are in control of your professional life are invaluable.

 

It is the fearful ones, the ones who are uncertain of whether or not to go ahead with the meeting, the ones who hate themselves for "having" to hire, the ones who flake and lie and go away without paying, and give you a false address so that they can jerk off looking at you through the window while you knock at their neighbor's door.

 

If someone thinks the transaction with you is so wrong, that you are so unimportant that you don't deserve enough information to ensure your physical safety, then I think you would be better off not meeting with that person.

 

You are a very professional and talented escort and deserve to meet only with people who value you, who respect your work, who understand the beautiful service that you provide and understand your worth so much that they will feel comfortable to share as much information with you as is necessary to make you feel safe. There are many great men out there who feel comfortable with hiring and understand the great advantages that it brings for both sides, fun men that are considerate and respectful and understanding.

 

Escorting, if done ethically and professionally by someone with a strong vocation is not a shady business. You are a generous man in a profession every bit as demanding and loving as nursing and you deserve to be treated well.

 

Stick to good verification processes, make sure you do your best, and I am sure soon you will be looking at this period as a moment in which you were able to learn. And if you still find a flake now and then, take it with a grain of salt, knowing that that will be the exception, not the rule.

 

I am sending you a tight, warm hug from far away, and the certainty that there are many great men who want to meet you and are wanting to treat you as well as you deserve.

 

Hang on in there, pamper yourself, and know that this soon, will pass.

 

Always hard and warm,

 

Juan

 

+30 694 268 9904

 

http://www.daddysreviews.com/review.php?who=juan_vancouver*

 

 

Juan

[Juan Vancouver]

Warped minds think alike...

 

It's kind of funny, ArVaGuy, We were writing almost the same at exactly the same time.

 

Good to know that we are on the same track... Hope to compare notes again someday soon.

 

Big hug! =)

[+ ArVaGuy]

It's kind of funny, ArVaGuy, We were writing almost the same at exactly the same time.

 

Good to know that we are on the same track... Hope to compare notes again someday soon.

 

Big hug! =)

 

Juan,

 

Thank you for that Big hug! I hope that we can compare notes very soon as you must visit DC.

 

Your advice to Raul is spot on.

 

Take care.

[Guest greatness]

Well

 

It seems like the person who called you used a fake number software. It is a software one can buy online to hide or fake his number. One can use your mother's number if one knows her number to call you. Intelius is famous for that. They do illegal things and somehow able to get away with them. It's so unfair and there is no one able to even look into it. They target people who are vulnerable. Since they have more information on you than you do on them, they have an advantage over you. You can block that number on your phone service provider website or call them. Even though they use the software, authorities can track down the real caller. So tell them you will report them to the authorities and let your phone company know.

[+ Travis69]

A few escorts and masseurs I spoke with in Washington, DC said the creation of the http://blacklistednow.blogspot.com website made a lot of clients start behaving themselves as far as no-shows, etc. They didn't want their names or numbers to be found on there. They listed the website in the Washington Blade with the ads so people reading the ads would know what could possibly happen. Perhaps mention the website in your own ad. Some will not care and will continue to be jerks.

[Diverdan]

I Agree with Juan

 

I think Juan has hit the nail on the head, so to speak. I am so sorry that you have had this problem. If I am staying at a hotel, I don't mind giving out my name and room number, but I never hire someone who did not have good reviews. Many times I prefer to travel to the other person's home/studio, etc., but again, I always check it out and have conversations with the person who I am going to see for what ever reason.

 

I also agree that if it gets to bad, it may be wise to speak to authorities and your phone company. Harrassment is illegal in most jurisdictions.

 

Good luck with this particular situation and as Juan and David said, perhaps a little more checking in advance will prevent you from having disappointments. You offer a high level of professional service and there is no reason for you to be treated in this way.

[JoeyBryant]

I am about to go mad.

 

Tonight I rushed for an appointment downtown, only to have the guy disappear on me, not answer

phone or email. Before getting really upset I waited a long time in case there is a good reason, and maybe there is, but it is too often.

I know this happens to us all.

 

But it has happened to me so many times this winter and spring. In Feb I had MORE flakes than actual appointments. Really.

Recently I was conned into lugging 50 pounds (I weighed it) of fetish gear for a long appointment only to find out that the guy gave me a bogus room number.

Still I waited two hours in the lobby just in case it was an honest mistake.

Am getting tired of wasted travel effort and in some cases turning down other appointments.

 

Shit between all the appointments that have fallen through on my last trips to NY (sometimes very good reasons, othertimes not), and all the rush downtown, or even to the suburbs, or even just standby and wait, I am nuts, and broke, and spirit broken.

 

Think I am about to just give up.

I feel like such a fool.

 

Oh and now an hour or so after this post I get a B.S. call from 312-416-7501, anyone know that number?

Think I will start a thread in the ask an escort forum.

 

I understand what you have been experiencing. It can be frustrating at the least...

 

I also have to agree with the hotel thing. It is to your advantage to be sure they give a name and room number so you can call and have the receptionist transfer you directly. Earlier this month, I disobeyed that procedure and went to see someone in downtown Houston. I should have known when he said, "I'll just meet you in the lobby." I'm glad that I called him when I got off the exit because he flaked. I dont think he was even there.

 

Don't feel you have to rush around for clients! If they can't be courteous enough to give you enough time to arrive, then tell them to call when they have more time. Same goes for escorts! Last thing you want is to end up with a speeding ticket or an accident and turns out to be a no-show.

 

Also, take notice in how genuine clients have booked and how the ones who've flaked have booked. The more time they spend on the phone, the less likely they are to book. Otherwise they would have emailed you.

 

This morning I had a guy who I had stored as a timewaster, call me up and ask to meet 'sometime this afternoon'. After asking how big my dick was, and if it was 'thick' (I usually hangup right away when they say that) he then asks, "can you come here and just pretend like you're working on my computer?"

 

I hung up on his ass. I dont have time for the bullshit. We, don't have time for the bullshit.

[josephga]

lol I use to have this guy call me every week for months his name was charles. Every time he called when he knew id be in bed asleep and voice mail would get it, every time he left the same message. hi my name is charles hot and horny bi sexual male. then tell me every single thing he wanted to do to me. same message every week.. I got fed up with his ass called him up and said is this charles? I was going off on him a 100 miles a minute and never gave him the chance too speak. I said where in my ad does it say *****? it doesn't it says massage. how would you feel charles if you had a son trying to make a living and some nasty old troll like yourself kept calling him.? wouldn't like it to much would you charles? so charles cut it the fuck out... then hung up.

[JoeyBryant]

To add...I noticed you're in Chicago. I believe certain cities have more flake potential than others. Being that you're more established there, obviously you have your regulars and such, but Chicago is the only city I've visited where I didn't get a single booking, and I advertised everywhere. Even the ones who visit Texas from there are flakes.

 

If this continues, as bad as it sound... I would look into setting up shop elsewhere. Thats what I do. Sometimes, cities become so infiltrated with a new escort every day that they become 'used to it'. Or you can wait for a convention, or the next season when a new cycle of clients come in...and that could take months.

[josephga]

To add...I noticed you're in Chicago. I believe certain cities have more flake potential than others. Being that you're more established there, obviously you have your regulars and such, but Chicago is the only city I've visited where I didn't get a single booking, and I advertised everywhere. Even the ones who visit Texas from there are flakes.

 

If this continues, as bad as it sound... I would look into setting up shop elsewhere. Thats what I do. Sometimes, cities become so infiltrated with a new escort every day that they become 'used to it'. Or you can wait for a convention, or the next season when a new cycle of clients come in...and that could take months.

 

Iv had a couple of escorts i know tell me they didn't do well when traveling to atlanta either.

[JoeyBryant]

Iv had a couple of escorts i know tell me they didn't do well when traveling to atlanta either.

 

Yeah, when I went it was no different than Chicago. Atlanta would be a good place to go if I was wanting to make it big in the Hip-Hop industry. Not for escorting though. There's like 50 million other guys who look just like me doing the same thing.

[GoodFella69]

I got fed up with his ass called him up and said is this charles? I was going off on him a 100 miles a minute and never gave him the chance too speak. I said where in my ad does it say *****? it doesn't it says massage. how would you feel charles if you had a son trying to make a living and some nasty old troll like yourself kept calling him.? wouldn't like it to much would you charles? so charles cut it the fuck out... then hung up.

 

Now, that's hilarious...thanks for the chuckle and good for you, Joseph! I bet (hope) that idiot, Charles, moved on and never called you again. It's great to hear that you working guys are empowered to stand up for yourselves and call out bad clients on the spot when they harass you. Escorts provide an important service, put their lives/reputations at risk, and 99% of you (in my experience) are highly responsible and professional. Don't let the jerks get you down, guys. Most of us clients genuinely appreciate and respect you...and we want to see you succeed and be happy in your chosen career.

Goodfella

[Guest novabear22031]

It seems like the person who called you used a fake number software. It is a software one can buy online to hide or fake his number. One can use your mother's number if one knows her number to call you. Intelius is famous for that. They do illegal things and somehow able to get away with them. It's so unfair and there is no one able to even look into it. They target people who are vulnerable. Since they have more information on you, they have a great amount of advantage over you. You can block that number on your phone service provider website or call them. Even though they use the software, authorities can track down the real caller. So tell them you will report them to the authorities and let your phone company know.

 

I have only had to "flake out" one time due to changes at work - but I gave as much notice as I could at the time - a bit under 12 hours....

 

One of the reasons I prefer email contact with an escort over a short period of time. Not in to just calling a guy up and meeting. Better for all parties IMO. In emails we get to figure out if it will work. And then a phone call.

 

I see no reason to hide my phone # at that point.

[JT Brooklyn]

The Flaking Client!

 

Since the HOOBOY DAYS Potential Clients "Flaking" has come up many times!

 

The Best remedy given by a Working Guy No Name though, as I was accused of groundless persecution of him for years! .. IF you Flake on me Dear Clients.. "Pay Me Anyway"!

 

I have had one of the Alleged Darling Super Stars to some around here.. FLAKE on me 15 mins before the Scheduled Time..So it does work both ways...

[+ Tom Isern]

Hi Raul,

 

This used to happen to me all the time. One guy would call me constantly just to talk, telling me how much he loved me, but he'd never book anything and we never met. Another guy would call me every four months or so and say that he's a hot smooth muscular straight guy whose girlfriend is out of town and he wants to live out his once-in-a-lifetime fantasy of being fucked by a gay guy. I fell for the line the first time, and the address he gave lead me to a vacant lot. I used to pedal my bike all over Manhattan chasing bogus calls. There is a cottage industry out there of guys who enjoy fucking around with escorts. So I just wanted to chime in and say that you are not alone!

 

I learned this the hard way: never book a guy calling from a blocked or unidentified number. Or if you do, make sure you get a real number and call it back to verify. My rule is that I never leave my apartment or book an appointment unless I have a verified phone number, and that simple rule put an end (almost entirely) to wild goose chases.

 

Good luck!

[Guest Ace]

Hey Raul;

I, too am sorry to hear about your recent run of bad luck...(And I'll save you the "It'll turn around" speech, because NOBODY wants to hear that when their caught in the mire of it all, AND as all of us working boys KNOW, it's "par for the course.")...

I'm currently wrapping up an 9 day stay in NYC (staying with escort extraordinaire, (and HELLUVA nice guy, Tom Isern)...Here's just a TASTE of what happened while here...(Not sure if it the "new meat" factor, or what, but last night I had three possible appts that went no where):

Possible client #1 found me on Rentmen & asked if I was available for a session for his boyfriend...(this started at 5pm)...it was to be a roleplay, involving "reading lines" as a "straight actor" somehow leading to my restraining him.....a half dozen LONG emails later, a time set up...and NOTHING!

Possible client #2" sends me a text asking if I an in NYC & available after 11pm....We text back & forth, discuss the session, set up a time & then I get a final text asking: "You open to chopping the hair off for the right price?"

Possible client #3: Had previously Emailed me when I first got to NYC asking to be my "pussy boy".....He got back in touch last night (after a week) & wanted to set up the appt here at Tom's apt....A few MORE Emails....time blocked for him....NOTHING!

I've got a pretty strong ego, but after 3 hits, even "I" knew it was time to "turn off the phone"......lol

Basically Raul, the point of this LONG WINDED post is to illustrate that we ALL go through it!

You're one of the BEST out there....don't let your spirit be broken.

Call if you need to!

[doitb4ugo]

So Sorry

 

Hi Raul,

 

I too am sorry for the "flake" trouble you are having. I do indeed hope that everything straightens out for you. Though I don't know you, our interactions here have been nothing short of wonderful. Given your qualities, I would think that a sexy, loving, tender yet Kinky guy would be in such great demand. Hang in there. Hopefully, the many escorts who frequest this site will offer some good advice and suggestions to put an end to this frustration.

 

rich

[raulgmanzo]

Thanks everybody for the nice messages, thoughts, advice, caring etc.

 

I got too emotional and made a bigger deal out of it all than I should have.

A rash of flakes as huge as I have had this winter is still not large enough of a data set to make sweeping generalizations about a city, person or industry.

 

Actually it isn't necessarily Chicago. Many of these flakes have been either in various cities or from various cities. And fankly it isn't really fair for me to call them flakes.

 

Note to fellow escorts if you travel once, even a few times to another city your experience is probably not enough to make a judgement. Really, Even the most successful guys out there in the best or worst city (whatever that may be) have probably had a string of luck good or bad, or a period where the weather, economy, or rentboy / men4rentnow ad rotation was coincidentally good or bad for them.

 

Also as far as taking precautions, searching, screening numbers, addresses, yes I often do all that, I don't always do it as I have not so much rules as much as a set of procedures and data points that together make me comfortable enough (or not) to go forward with an appointment. Yes sometimes I let my enthusiasm, desperation, trust, bad or good mood get the better of me.

 

Most years I have very little trouble except for a usual rough patch in winter. Sometimes that rough patch is as brutal as can be Chicagos winter weather.

 

I'm glad I still have faith (for the most part) in humanity, and am still willing to take appointments even though the person hasn't always passed the strictest vetting process.

 

There have been many many fun and profitable appointments that I've taken in which I think a more cautious of uptight escort wouldn't accepted.

 

I've impressed and fucked the hell out of truckers in their cab parked in a truck stop in Gary Indiana.

Had police clients, no of course I didn't ask if "they were law enforcement", great appointments in the ghetto, appointments where the client had not a single light on anywhere in their apartment/house, where at the last moment the guy said he wanted his girlfriend to watch, or the client was shooting up, or the guy who asked if I would break his nose (I didn't),

or pay me by check, or hide the funds in a chocolate bar, or fuck him on his desk at work, on the back of a motocycle, dressed as a woman etc.

I love the variety.

 

Once a now favorite client initially stood me up in his hotel lobby. When he called months later to setup an another appointment I was just about to either ignore the call, or scream at him when I decided just to pretend it didn't happen as I happened to be right next to his hotel. A couple of great appointments later I finally did ask about him standing me up. He was embarassed as he only remembered that his work colleagues got him drunk, he passed out and remembered nothing about an appointment.

 

People are human, we all make mistakes.

And if someone is willing to communicate, I am happy to be very understanding.

If ONLY a couple semi-regular posters on this board were even a tenth so forgiving or willing to communicate they would ultimately find much enjoyment for the effort.

 

Raul

http://rentboy.com/raulgmanzo

http://rentmen.com/raulgmanzo

http://men4rentnow.com/escorts/gay.escort.raulgmanzo.html

http://daddysreviews.com/finder.php?who=raul_g_chicago

http://maleescortreview.com/index.php?file=view_escort_review&escort_id=106120684

[Guest Ace]

Atta boy!