Pain/Pleasure

[Businessguy]

Ok-I admitt that I'm a whimp when it comes to pain. Can someone help me understand how the balance of pain to pleasure works? I find exciting some of the extreme photos and videos that depict a sub enduring some pain and discomfort for his Dom like those at BoundGods.com. However, I've noticed that often the sub does not have an erection. At what level do the endorphines kick in turning the pain into pleasure? Is sustained pain, like nipple clamps, clothes pins or ball weights a lot different from sharp pain like ball slapping or flogging? What's the difference? Does it require a lot of concentration on the part of the sub to "stay in the moment"? What happens when the concentration is broken? Is it sexual for the sub or is it more mental because of the endorphines? Maybe if I understood it better I could bridge the gap and find the pleasure in it. So far I have not gotten there and I whimp out.

[whipped guy]

Here goes another chapter

 

Ok-I admitt that I'm a whimp when it comes to pain. Can someone help me understand how the balance of pain to pleasure works?

Shoot! This is making me think too much... So I'll give some short answers right off the top of my head... Also, one must realize that at different times and when one is in a different mood one’s tolerance for pain can vary… so I have been known to wimp out on occasion as well… I think that is simply part of the normal human experience.

I find exciting some of the extreme photos and videos that depict a sub enduring some pain and discomfort for his Dom like those at BoundGods.com. However, I've noticed that often the sub does not have an erection.

Yes, that happens quite often, but the pleasure is still there... and often you feel as though you might cum, but not really. I actually find that CBT often has a debilitating effect on an erection, but that is the price paid for the pleasure of it all. As for the boundgods stuff... that is really extreme... and is most likely at the high end of the spectrum. I have come to the point where I don’t need to to be quite that over the top… but just want to cruise along and let things last for as long as possible… I wonder if there are rest periods in all those bound gods videos… plus if I were being paid to do it…and if I were somewhat younger… I might have a different attitude.

At what level do the endorphines kick in turning the pain into pleasure? Is sustained pain, like nipple clamps, clothes pins or ball weights a lot different from sharp pain like ball slapping or flogging? What's the difference?

I'm mot sure if there is much difference, just a variation on the same theme. At times the sustained pain can get a bit overdone... such as nipple clamps... but since they often hurt more when removed causing a jolt of sharp pain... it gives you the "incentive" to endure the pleasure of it all. Of course at times one can get acclimated to the situation and the pain actually subsides...a good dom will know when to tighten the screws when necessary... plus a hungry sub will often beg for more action. Still at times you want that sharp pain as a jolt of pleasure... like when you are on the verge of cumming. Still there are indeed times when you need to bring the sustained pain to an end so as to be able to maintain yourself and actually survive through the entire session. Likewise, during flogging the top needs to find the proper zone so as to be able to prolong the pleasure for as long as possible and not cross the line… As for the endorphins kicking in… for me they do so immediately… but as implied it is best to begin slowly and build that “crescendo of pleasure”.

Does it require a lot of concentration on the part of the sub to "stay in the moment"? What happens when the concentration is broken? Is it sexual for the sub or is it more mental because of the endorphines?

It often takes quite a bit of concentration to focus so you can endure the pleasure of it all. I often find myself thinking... “why me... why this... why now... why not go the massage route... am I really insane...” when in mid-session... but it all feels so gratifying that I just keep focusing as deeply as possible and just go for the ride. As for being sexual… damn right it is sexual… and sensual as well! Shoot! The dom is taking care of me... his boy... he is giving me what I want... and yes... what I need... and sometimes one really needs it ... and needs it "bad".

Maybe if I understood it better I could bridge the gap and find the pleasure in it. So far I have not gotten there and I whimp out.

It's all finding your own personal pain-pleasure zone... if that means tickle torture... so be it... just enjoy and go for the ride... Heck, that’s why they make adjustable nipple clamps… if simply wearing them with minimal pressure floats your boat… then go for it! If you need more… well you can always up the ante… Is there a right way vs. a wrong way? HELL NO! But if you literally want to be in hell… such a request can usually be met and then some…

 

I really think that it is analogous to other more traditional forms of sex… Some guys like to cuddle and are completely satisfied… other guys literally need to get banged around when getting banged. Is it pain or pleasure when getting banged? Some guys are not into bottoming as it is equated with pain… I actually think that it is the same basic concept.

 

Well, these are just some quick thoughts... I hope others chime in as well.

[doitb4ugo]

New but Eager

 

Shoot! This is making me think too much...

I really think that it is analogous to other more traditional forms of sex… Some guys like to cuddle and are completely satisfied… other guys literally need to get banged around when getting banged. Is it pain or pleasure when getting banged? Some guys are not into bottoming as it is equated with pain… I actually think that it is the same basic concept.

 

Well, these are just some quick thoughts... I hope others chime in as well.

 

Speaking without much experience in the sub department, I do have some experience being totally submissive both in life and in sex. The most heghtened memories of my few sexual exploits revolve around surrendering to someone...be it as a bottom or just a guy giving his partner the upmot attention to provide pleasure to him....nothing like it. I'm going to guess that for me the pain/pleasure point will be somewhat related to what the dom want to give out....I am pretty much open to take anything to understand the experience..not to say that I would take it for long or ever again....lol. I'm obviously hoping my experiences go from weany to intense and not the other way around. As stated, I can always crank it up it I can take it.

 

I have had a number of pain/pleasure experiences but all have been self-induced. I'm not sure that counts but I can tell you I have had the most extreme erections when doing this....makes me look forward to finding someone who will dish it out. I'm still hot over the rope and knot things...I would think that enough pain could be delivered without to many pieces of equipment....

 

Thats my 3 cents worth...everything looks so different at the beginniing of the adventure. A lot to squeeze into such a short time.

[whipped guy]

I'm going to guess that for me the pain/pleasure point will be somewhat related to what the dom want to give out....I am pretty much open to take anything to understand the experience..

That is such a great mindset to have... you should feel like a kid in a candy store and they are giving samples of certain confections... or to make a "grown up" analogy... like an adult at a wine tasting where you can sample and then decide what strikes your fancy. Somehow I think that you are going to want it all... and in the beginning you should want it all... and eventually you will decide if what you want is what you really actually need and ultimately will enjoy.

I have had a number of pain/pleasure experiences but all have been self-induced.

Ironically, I'll bet that is exactly how a lot of us initially experimented...

Thats my 3 cents worth...A lot to squeeze into such a short time.

Well, if this stuff really floats your boat then it is going to cost you more than 3 cents, but heck we all have certain hobbies and as you imply you can't take it with you... not that you are thinking of going anywhere too soon that is...

...everything looks so different at the beginniing of the adventure.

So true and it will indeed be an adventure.

[uwsman2]

Pain? Pleasure?

 

I've found that sustained pain is not pleasurable, but some level of sporadic pain can be a turn-on. For example, nipple clamps. I've enjoyed them at times, but if you leave them on too long, removing them can be excruciating and not, in my experience, particularly erotic. On the other hand, I've really enjoyed flogging, when done by a sensitive top who knows his stuff. (Flogging at the hands of an amateur can be excruciating, too, in my experience.) I've also enjoyed hot wax, gutpunching, and tight bondage. It all depends on the situation, and the play can be intensely erotic when the top knows how to set the scene, is sensitive to limits and trustworthy, and talks a good game.

[whipped guy]

For example, nipple clamps. I've enjoyed them at times, but if you leave them on too long, removing them can be excruciating and not, in my experience, particularly erotic.

I have a philosophy in life and that is when faced with a dilemma try to turn something bad into something good.

 

When I was learning about this S&M nonsense I was always reminded that nipple clamps and clothespins usually hurt the most when they are removed. So, as I alluded to above, that was part of the incentive to endure the pain… as it would get worse. Still, there would be a time when the device would have to be removed and as a consequence would send a jolt of stinging pain to the body part to which the it was attached… be it your nips, balls, cock etc. However, with proper timing the jolt of pain can be quite erotic… if indeed that is your “thing”. For example, if the dom removes the gadget and concurrent with feeling that rush of pain holds you in his strong arms and lovingly whispers, “Good boy…” as he kisses you gently it can send shivers throughout your entire body. Of course the ultimate experience would be if you are about ready to cum… At times I like the guy to put as much pressure on my nips as possible and at the moment of the "big event" remove them so as to cause the maximum amount of pain… Talk about dying and going to heaven… and turning something seemingly bad into something quite good.

(Flogging at the hands of an amateur can be excruciating, too, in my experience.)

If a guy does not know what he is doing it can get boring (by hitting the same areas repeatedly with the same amount of force), become too intense (by beating you so hard that the pain can't be sustained for a long period of time), or actually cause bruising (by not having an accurate aim and or by hitting sensitive areas of the body such as the sides of the upper torso as opposed to a clean smack directly on the back). It is also impotent for the top to be in the proper position to flog someone… if he is right handed or left handed he needs to position the bottom (or himself for that matter if the sub is in a fixed position) so the blows will be delivered in an accurate fashion.

…play can be intensely erotic when the top knows how to set the scene, is sensitive to limits and trustworthy, and talks a good game.

Definitely… with the key words being "trustworthyness"... and being "sensitive" to one's limits and needs as well... and since everyones needs are different knowing what those desires are can make or break a session.