first time bottom

[dapurplebear]

hey everyone - I am new to the forum I have really appreciated the open exchange of ideas and especially the humor.

 

So, I usually top, but am preparing to bottom for the first time. Would love to get any words of wisdom -- I have a great top willing to help me with this, just wanting to make sure I am totally ready and can take the full experience.

 

thanks in advance for your contributions!

[JT Brooklyn]

Ya don't know unless you try it!

 

hey everyone - I am new to the forum I have really appreciated the open exchange of ideas and especially the humor.

 

So, I usually top, but am preparing to bottom for the first time. Would love to get any words of wisdom -- I have a great top willing to help me with this, just wanting to make sure I am totally ready and can take the full experience.

 

thanks in advance for your contributions!

 

Well apparently "The First Time" is different for Everyone! Anywhere from Pain to Ecstacy!

 

Just remember to Breathe slowly also stay away from some of the "Big Boys" in the beginning! Enjoy Enjoy!

[Guest greatness]

it hurts a lot

 

take it slow.. It hurts a lot..:o

 

hey everyone - I am new to the forum I have really appreciated the open exchange of ideas and especially the humor.

 

So, I usually top, but am preparing to bottom for the first time. Would love to get any words of wisdom -- I have a great top willing to help me with this, just wanting to make sure I am totally ready and can take the full experience.

 

thanks in advance for your contributions!

[+ Oliver]

... It hurts a lot..:o

 

Not if the top cares, and knows what he is doing.

[kevininsa]

ok, let's not scare the guy before he even gets in bed. Granted I don't bottom as much as I would like, but nobody has ever made it hurt. A little discomfort maybe in the beginning, but never hurt.

 

Just go slow... and have fun... and report back. <eg>

[ShaunRoss]

Default first time bottom

hey everyone - I am new to the forum I have really appreciated the open exchange of ideas and especially the humor.

 

So, I usually top, but am preparing to bottom for the first time. Would love to get any words of wisdom -- I have a great top willing to help me with this, just wanting to make sure I am totally ready and can take the full experience.

 

thanks in advance for your contributions!

 

 

 

 

Hi dapurple bear

 

You write that you have a great top willing to help you.

 

From that I take it that you really like this man and that you are into him. That helps as an attraction or some emotional connection with your Top makes it more exciting and your desire to bottom stronger.

 

If this is your very first time bottoming, it is most likely something that you will always remember.

 

I am versatile and very much remember my first time bottoming. You know what, it did not hurt at all. It was fun and felt incredible.

 

This was because I was very much into the top that I was with, but more importantly I was emotionally ready for it.

 

It is something that I desired strongly and had waited quite some time to experience.

 

For you I would suggest the following:

 

1) Cleanliness is next to Godliness Take the time to make sure that you are very much clean where it counts. My suggestion is to by a douche or enema that you can re use and not the disposable ones.

 

They are available at the drug store and usually have a blue base with a white rod. This way you can fill it up with water. The enemas from FLEET or the drugstore brand have a solution in them. I would not use that solution as it can be very dehydrating.

 

If you can not find the douche that I mention, then buy a package of the disposable enemas. When you open it, dump the solution down the sink and fill it up with water instead.

 

Allow yourself enough time cleaning up time to make sure that you got everything out. When you think that you are done....wait a few minutes and do one last cleaning...just to be sure.

 

2) Go slowly. You most likely will be excited. Don't be too eager to have him all in you right away. Enjoy what it feels like when the head of his cock is entering you. Enjoy all of it!

 

3) Breathe, Breathe and Breathe! This is very important as it is going to help you and your butt muscles relax. If you are really tight and he is having a difficult time entering you....just breath deeply and exhale deeply. Don't tense up your butt muscles...relax them...'let go'....once in a while you can take your butt muscles and push out like you are 'pooping'. Sounds weird but it works and can very much relax you.

 

If he is inside you when you do this, you may actually push his cock out or partially out or his cock may stay inside you. It does not matter as doing this can really help relax your insides.

 

4) An excellent position to start with is on your stomach or to sit on him. Sitting on him lets you be in control. You can hold his cock and guide it in. You can go up and down on him at your own pace. Have him put his hands around your waist, rub your back and stomach, lean down and kiss him, keep in close contact with each other and take your time!

 

Laying on your stomach is wonderful too as you can feel the weight of your man on top of you. If he is a competent and caring top, he will enter you VERY slowly...at your pace....He will tease your hole with the head of his cock so that you become more and more accustomed to the feel of it.

 

When you are ready he will enter you more deeply. He should be constantly touching you, rubbing your butt and back, kissing the side of your neck.......all of these things will help relax you and make for a really good experience. Hopefully!!

 

 

Now, perhaps you don't want all that closeness and you just want him to F%#K you!! Well...that is your prerogative.....Just remember the breathing and relaxing. Don't tense up...you have to let yourself go...give into it!

 

 

I would not suggest using poppers for this experience. Personally, I MUCH prefer it when I bottom or when I am topping for my bottom to not use them. It is important to learn how to bottom without the aid of a drug.

 

This way you are going to avoid any possible injury and you are going to teach your body in a natural way how to relax and take it.

 

In the future, if you want to experiment with poppers...go for it....Just be safe!

 

 

HUGS

 

~Shaun

[JoshAB]

Lube

 

LUBE...lots of LUBE.

 

Silicone based is better as it doesn't evaporate. Better for you, as I find I don't feel as much (less friction) but your top's mileage may vary.

 

Water based doesn't stain really, but you will need to reapply ...depending on how long you go.

 

Slow and steady wins the race. Have fun!

J

[dapurplebear]

appreciate all the info -- VERY MUCH!

[Guest TBinCHI]

Good lord, am I the only one that had a hard on while reading Shaun Ross's "suggestions." If that is how you top, Mr. Ross, can you please come to Chicago - soon?

[ShaunRoss]

'Good lord, am I the only one that had a hard on while reading Shaun Ross's "suggestions." If that is how you top, Mr. Ross, can you please come to Chicago - soon?'

 

 

 

Hi TBinCHI!

 

I am actually contemplating my very first Chicago trip. It is not definite but when it happens you will see a post in the travel section of the forum.

 

So....watch out!

 

HUGS

 

~Shaun

[josephga]

oh make sure the water in the enema is warm not hot or ice cold.

[Guest greatness]

oh my

 

Oliver you are lucky~~ Most of the guys I've met just push it in and hurt me. So sad.

 

Not if the top cares, and knows what he is doing.

[Bart]

Bottomimg and Mr. Ross to Chicago-Outstnading!

 

Congrats on the first time bottoming experience. Mr. Ross's explanation was excellent. Dont get excited if despite the cleaning things are not 100%. It is a new sensation so everyone's system will react differently. I would look at what you are eating for a meal prior for future reference. I usually go with a salad and stay light and take a couple of Imodium tablets about 2 hours prior. Have fun!! I too remember my first time and the man is still a close friend after all these years.

 

Good to see you wish visit the snow belt, although Oklahoma has been having more than us as of late. Spring is beautiful here in the Great Lakes, just windy and bit raw when it is off the lake, but that first nice day with south west winds very rewarding. California boy it stays pretty chilly through tax day. I would avoid Memorial Day week, IML sounds exciting but the working guy does usually do as well during that week.

[josephga]

Oliver you are lucky~~ Most of the guys I've met just push it in and hurt me. So sad.

 

Iv only tried it once and didn't like it at all.. I didn't think it hurt but was uncomfortable. I didn't find any pleasure in it..

[AdamSmith]

You write that you have a great top willing to help you.

 

From that I take it that you really like this man and that you are into him. That helps as an attraction or some emotional connection with your Top makes it more exciting and your desire to bottom stronger...

 

I am versatile and very much remember my first time bottoming. You know what, it did not hurt at all. It was fun and felt incredible.

 

This was because I was very much into the top that I was with, but more importantly I was emotionally ready for it.

 

Everything Shaun says is valuable advice. Hot, too!

 

Specifically to elaborate on the above-quoted, a related element that I discovered to be key was trust in your partner. I learned how to bottom, successfully and enjoyably -- deliriously, in truth -- on my third meeting with an escort who made it his mission to show me how to reach this new place. The first two sessions, where I tried but did not really succeed at bottoming, seemed necessary for me to come to know him enough to relax and relinquish control -- also a supremely erotic aspect of the experience.

[+ Cash4Trash]

I also eat rice starting about 3 days beforehand (so much for spontaneity)

 

It guarantees a firm stool and easier cleaning. About 1/2 hour after enema I do a little dildo

play to make sure I'm clean.

 

Have fun.

[+ newatthis]

discomfort; control

 

Iv only tried it once and didn't like it at all.. I didn't think it hurt but was uncomfortable. I didn't find any pleasure in it..

Exactly my experience my first times; a little uncomfortable. I couldn't for the life of me understand why anyone would find it erotic. Then, all of a sudden, it just worked. It had nothing to with skill -- all the guys up to that point had been skilled. And it had nothing to do with trust -- I trusted all of them to the same extent, and the one it worked with was an escort I was seeing for the first time.

 

I think it helps to have some experience or practice putting things -- dildos, cucumbers , ... up there so that penetration itself doesn't become an obstacle. I know of an escort who gets requests from young first-timers who want to try bottoming. He asks them to practice inserting dildos for a month or so before he will take them on.

 

...The first two sessions, where I tried but did not really succeed at bottoming, seemed necessary for me to come to know him enough to relax and relinquish control -- also a supremely erotic aspect of the experience.

Definitely. But not everyone experiences this as relinquishing control; on the contrary, a bottom can be very much in control, not just of the pacing, but of the pleasure level of the top.

[josephga]

My first bf had been a bottom in his previous relationships.but with him being my first i wanted to try it all. I asked a friend for advice and he told be about the enema stuff recommended i do a hot soapy bath. Did all of that. But I just couldn't relax. Tried in on my tummy and felt like i had too piss the whole time lol, he was kinda small to and iv heard them small ones can be less comfortable than large.. So I never tried again after that. I'm not a fan of topping even though iv been told I'm good at it. I tend to date younger than myself and you would be surprised that allot of guys don't douche or won't douche. my last 2 bf's were like that and it made me hate anal sex..

[Guest Spanky]

 

I think it helps to have some experience or practice putting things -- dildos, cucumbers , ... up there so that penetration itself doesn't become an obstacle.

 

It's very good advice, but I'd stick to the dildo and avoid the produce aisle. And avoid anything that doesn't have a handle (e.g., pool ball, etc.). The last thing you want is a mortifying trip to the emergency room.

 

Note: I am most assuredly NOT speaking from personal experience on that last point.