The 14 Commandments of CL...

[+ glutes]

(Found this on CL/sfbayarea, thought I would share)

 

#1. Don't give out your last name (or your first if it's just a NSA hookup). There's a good amount of bitter men who use this site to stalk, especially ex-boyfriends and people you might have rejected before. Don't give guys more information than what they need, as they can use it against you if things don't work out.

 

#2. Use caution when sending your face/body pics. 90% of the ads here are bogus or have fake pics, so the chances of another guy passing himself off as you are *VERY* high. If the guy has no pics in *HIS* ad but demands *YOURS*, he ain't real. Move on.

 

#3. Guys who say they have no pics or can't take any are either overweight, ugly or both. A disposable camera from any Walgreen's will set you back $5, or $20 for a disposable digital camera. Anyone living in the expensive city of SF can *SURELY* afford that. A guy who says he cannot is both a liar and a loser not worth your time. Move on.

 

#4. Punctuality goes a long way. If you're hosting and the guy is more than 30 minutes late *WITHOUT* calling or texting, don't answer the door. Leave his ass out in the cold. Most of us either have cell phones or access to a payphone. If he can keep you waiting without a valid explanation, you have every right to refuse the hookup and send him packing. We all know that MUNI sucks ass and is never on-time, so that's an acceptable excuse. Other than that, you shouldn't have to wait all day for a trick to show up.

 

#5. If a guy who sends you pics from 20 years ago and then shows up considerably older/balder/fatter, he deserves a slammed door in his face without any explanation. OK, maybe a good laugh, but that's it. If he'll lie to you about his looks, he'll lie to you about everything else (STD status included). Honesty is the best policy. Too many guys on here think they'll get a pity fuck because you'll be so horny when you answer the door. Don't lower your standards, guys.

 

#6. Flakes are a dime a dozen here on M4M. First, he might be all confused and undecided about what he really wants: one minute he's so horny, he can't wait to hook up. The next, he's scared and wants to bail on the whole thing. Lots of guys on CL go through that sort of emotional seesaw. In the end, a lot of them just chicken out, even if the guy they make plans with has already showed up. Or he might have gotten a look at you and decided he just wasn't into you. It's annoying, but that's what happens sometimes when you hookup through Craigslist M4M. Just block his email address and you'll never hear from him again.

 

#7. Self-described "jock", "good-looking" and "VGL" guys are usually legends in their own minds. They seem to think that what a few guys told them (or their mother) must be true. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so most of these types are just too deluded to realize that guys just ain't into them. And remember, when a guy looks into the mirror, he sees an Adonis. No matter what is looking back at him, denial ain't just a river in Egypt!

 

#8. Generous = prostitute. No doubt about that one. These leeches want free money for very little in return. Add 5 years to any age they post. Don't believe their bullshit sob stories about the rent being due, either. If they can't afford it, tough shit. Why should you subsidize them? The economy is rough for all of us right now. If a 21 year-old can't afford his rent, why is he posting all day in M4M? Priorities, priorities.

 

#9. Overbooking is common here, especially with bottoms. With the shortage of tops, it's a top's market here in gay real estate. A lot of bottoms overbook for fear that the first top won't show up. I've had many instances where myself and another top showed up at the same time. If you like tag-teaming a bottom, then great. If not, explain your situation and leave. No need to stick around if the bottom can't be honest enough to let you know he had a Plan B just in case.

 

#10. In general, you get less flaky behavior if you post an ad rather than responding to one.

 

#11. Guys who post more than 3 ads a day on M4M aren't getting laid. They're desperate, and hope that reposting the same ol' shit will get them more attention. We all know about the Filipino dude in the UCSF/Inner Sunset area who is always "taking loads and looking for more". I rest my case.

 

#12. Meth = death. Whether the guy is doing it casually or every night, he's still killing himself slowly. Guys on crystal are the worst, and the truly addicted ones will steal everything that isn't nailed down if you invite them over. They want to "keep the party going" to escape the pain/depression of their sad lives. Meth users are the very bottom of the barrel, if you know what I mean. Avoid them like the plague if you can.

 

#13. Overall, the vast majority of Castro scene fags in this town are the worst. They can’t show up on time, can't balance a checkbook or return a phone call. It's mostly because *HALF* (that’s right, *HALF*) of these sons of bitches are on meth. Case closed.

 

#14. Many of these guys have posts up all day, every day. Occasionally, they might change the title. But it's still them. Many never get back to you after you respond to the post. You wonder what sort of life these guys have and what sort of work they do. I wonder do they sit and cruise sex sites all day at work? I think most have no intention of actually hooking up, but rather just get off on the responses (especially if the responder includes pics). I think they get excited: not by the possibility of a hookup, but a narcissistic feeling that arises when they get responses. It makes them feel like someone really is interested in their body. One does wonder about these perpetual posters.....

[SmallTownJohn]

Mr. G

 

I will give you a holler about a lunch time when I get to San Fran.

[SmallTownJohn]

One of My Favorites: Craigslist Atlanta

 

Hey Guys, I'm just a regular, very chill 18 year old thats a little down on his luck. I am offering a full body, nude massage at the rate of $150. I'm 18, 5' 11", 155 pounds, short brown hair with hazel eyes, 7.5" c. I'm versatile if we decide to do that . On a more interesting note, If you don't want to pay the $150, I'm looking for someone to buy me an iPhone and add it onto their ATT plan, in return, your first 3 visits are free and I can come to you 2/ times a month to make up for the bill! Either way is fine with me! Just let me know if you're interested either way as I am avail today

[josephga]

Hey Guys, I'm just a regular, very chill 18 year old thats a little down on his luck. I am offering a full body, nude massage at the rate of $150. I'm 18, 5' 11", 155 pounds, short brown hair with hazel eyes, 7.5" c. I'm versatile if we decide to do that . On a more interesting note, If you don't want to pay the $150, I'm looking for someone to buy me an iPhone and add it onto their ATT plan, in return, your first 3 visits are free and I can come to you 2/ times a month to make up for the bill! Either way is fine with me! Just let me know if you're interested either way as I am avail today

 

lol I saw that yesterday

[+ glutes]

The AT&T syndrome is now in SF!

 

Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

Date: 2009-04-14, 9:02PM PDT

 

 

I lost my phone. I have ATT service but can't afford to buy another phone right now. Does anyone have an old ATT phone laying around that would be generous enough to let me have it?

 

I'm the one with the green hoodie and glasses.

[+ glutes]

CL wish list

 

(1) I wish that the pic collectors would get a life and stop wasting everyone's time on this board. There are plenty of pics you can save to your desktop from adult gay websites. Plus, using other guys pictures and pretending to be them is a really rotten thing to do. It also means you're probably ugly as fuck in real life if you have to hide behind fake pictures.

 

(2) I wish the spammers who respond to every goddamn M4M posting with "26 yrs, 5'11", slim, 10" cut, located near market st in San Francisco, interested? -eddiezwjb08fi" would knock it off. Is your life that pathetic where you have to troll for email addresses? Trash like you is the reason why Craigslist M4M has turned into such a dump. You are not wanted here by *ANYONE*.

 

(3) I wish the crystal meth users would just be upfront about their drug abuse, rather than setting up a hookup and asking me if I party at the door. By stating ahead of time that you like to fry your brain with drugs, I can then decide to not hookup with you instead of schlepping across town on MUNI and wasting my time.

 

(4) I wish those who state "no pics = no play" would actually man up and follow their own advice. Why should I send my face pic if you don't have one in the posting yourself? Huh? Get real.

 

(5) I wish guys would call ahead of time and say they're running late or need to cancel if we've set up a booty call. In this day and age, most of us have cell phones. It takes 2 minutes to call (or text) and say that MUNI is running slow. Trust me, I understand. But to just intentionally blow me off and not show up means you have no social skills, and I'm better off not hooking up with you after all.

 

(6) I wish that the guys who call themselves "VGL" or "good-looking" would get real with themselves and realize that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Truly good-looking guys aren't sitting on Craigslist 24 hours a day, posting endless ads to get laid. A walk through the Castro would get them action without the help of any computer. Sorry guys, but vanity is the reason you're not getting laid. It's OK to say you're average-looking, because many of you are legends in your own minds.

 

(7) I wish the so-called "HIV negative" guys who BB (bareback) would get real with their sexual health. The cold, hard truth is that guys who BB are already either HIV positive or on their way to being HIV+. For some guys, they can go years having BB sex and stay neg. But it eventually catches up to you. If you're going to BB, at least do it in a monogamous relationship or with limited fuck buddies. It can be safely assumed that guys who are into taking 10+ loads in a night are HIV+ and not interested in their own sexual health or yours.

 

(8) I wish that the guys (cough, losers, cough) who are always asking for "generous" would get off their lazy asses and find a job. The recession has nothing to do with it. Why do you expect perfect strangers to take care of you? Oh, let me guess: because you're young and hot? LOL! The rest of us are working to keep the rent/mortgage paid and food on the table in this recession, and you expect us to pay *YOU* just for your company? Get real, chumps. Life ain't a free ride. Looks fade. Those who don't work, don't eat. Get it?