Jake Cruise porn site

[Guest Bluedawg]

Hey guys!

 

So I'm highly amused by this pay porn sight. It features a perpetually cheerful, roly-poly gramps who looks like a cross between Burl Ives in the "Rudolph" Claymation Holiday special, and a garden gnome.

 

He posts a variety of home-made videos on his site. They feature a variety of strapping young bucks, who all seem eager to make...well..bucks. Some are real beauties. One can only presume that he seduces them off the street, or culls them from surf-friendly waves near the shore, or accosts them in the men's room of Abercrombie and Fitch, checkbook in hand...

 

In each video, he undresses them, rolling his eyes and smacking his lips like he's got a growlin' tummy and is about to sit down to a nicely-browned turkey. In truth, he's a little like the Paula Dean of the porn world.

 

He makes exclamations to the camera, like an overly excited hostess on the Home Shopping Network, extolling their virtues: "Look at that ass! Can you believe those abs?" His dialogue ain't fresh, but he delivers it with the startled self-satisfaction of a pig who's awakened to find itself happily awash in, well, shit.

 

While the models display surprising patience, he treats them like melons at a roadside fruit stand, squeezing them from every angle. Meanwhile, they drape themselves against him, looking laconic, amused, or vaguely bored. A few look like dour grandchildren forced to make a Sunday afternoon visit to the Retirement Village, against their wishes.

 

He gets them undressed, plumps 'em, rims 'em, and otherwise chows down. Eventually, they get him undressed too. It ain't pretty, but it's rather poignant. There's something oddly sweet about seeing this chubby little gourmand, with his sweet bald head and perpetually amazed eyes, bulbous lil' tummy and tremulous pecker cavorting on the bed with virile young studs. It's bittersweet...and I'm sure some of us have been there! His portly little figure is in marked contrast to their rock-hard ones.

 

It's not terribly erotic, but it has a certain comic dimension. It's a little wistful and tragic, too. Certainly a chance of pace from the mechanical sex of so much commercially produced Jiz Flicks.

 

Enjoy.

BlueDawg

 

 

 

Eventually,

[+ azdr0710]

bluedawg.....

 

that was a hilarious review of that site....you're right on with the whole scene there....

 

thanks

[JT Brooklyn]

Jake Cruise and his Guys!

 

Bluedawg...No one could have described Jakes site better!

 

He finds them.. although some have been found before he got to them!

 

But he does have a way of making "Dirty Deeds" seem Clean and the Christian thing to do!

[zeferrelli]

fantastic review - thanks!

[RockHard]

Old, fat, and bald. Yes, some guys find that sexy.

 

There's something oddly sweet about seeing this chubby little gourmand, with his sweet bald head and perpetually amazed eyes, bulbous lil' tummy and tremulous pecker cavorting on the bed with virile young studs. It's bittersweet...and I'm sure some of us have been there! His portly little figure is in marked contrast to their rock-hard ones. It's not terribly erotic, but it has a certain comic dimension.

 

"Not terribly erotic" sure is a slap in the face to most of the men who hire escorts. No older, fat guy wants to think of himself as bringing "comic dimension" to his escort experience, let alone imagine that his escort is laughing at him behind the ass eating.

 

I remember the Lounge at the Gaiety on any Saturday night. Packed. The majority of audience members were older, bald, obese, and not particularly handsome. Often, the few better looking, in-shape customers went ignored. The hot, sexy, dancer boys clearly preferred to "play" the Jake Cruise types. I always suspected the good-looking customers were among the cheapest (or they were suspected of being cops).

 

Straight porn has always offered the older man/nubian princess fantasy, which has quite a history outside of porn as well. Some older, amateur straight guys, certainly not attractive by any gay man standard, have risen to star status in the straight porn world, and most of them have very average cocks.

 

The truth is, there's more to being sexy than handsome good looks and a huge cock. Many of us know that combination can often be deadly the morning after. There's a lot to be said for personality and chemistry and no amount of money can purchase such things.

 

If anything, Jake Cruise offers the typical escort customer a chance at high quality fantasy. Many Jake Cruise types, and there are millions, can easily see themselves as "Jake Cruise" as he frolics with hot, handsome, sexy, younger men. Jake Cruise offers ordinary men hope that no matter how bald, how fat, how small your cock, or how ugly your shaved fat ass, you, too, can get a hot guy in the sack even if it will cost you a thousand dollars.

 

Jake Cruise isn't my kind of fantasy but there's no question some of his guys are HOT. Joshua Ballman is my favorite Jake Cruise model and, as difficult as Jake is to watch, Joshua got me off, twice. I wouldn't bareback with Jake Cruise for all the money he can afford to offer but I do admire his complete lack of embarrassment and his unabashed self-confidence. Like I said, Jake Cruise gives hope to many ordinary men.

[Guest Bluedawg]

Yes indeed

 

Well said! More compassionate than my somewhat more caustic view, but heartfelt and well-observed just the same...

[rocky]

Sounds interesting, what is the site address?

[Guest Bluedawg]

http://www.jakecruise.com

[JoshAB]

site

 

Sounds interesting, what is the site address?

 

Site is http://www.jakecruise.com

 

It's pretty big - his vids made it to small(er) Canadian towns. He's definitely got an audience. I subscribed for a bit when he landed Leo Giomatti (A Past Obsession).

 

The review of this site is completely accurate, but some of it is pretty hot. Lots of bareback...including Leo...surprising! It was an interesting porn diversion for a while.

 

J.