Memorable awkward or funny moments?

[Guest JT]

Just feel like to start something light-hearted tonight.

 

Do you have any memorable awkward or funny moments with an escort that you care to share with us?

 

For starter --- After a wonderful playtime together, one of my favourite escorts and I went to a restaurant for brunch. The weather was very nice and sunny for a November Saturday afternoon in Vancouver. We were taking it easy, chatting, laughing, and generally having a good time. Overall, it turned out to be a very enjoyable experience. But shortly afterwards, while we were sipping mimosa, his cell rang. When he finished the conversation, he told me it was his mom who was visiting from out of town and was just driving by the restaurant. We shrugged and grinned...

 

 

JT

[Guest WestTxGuy]

OK, I'll jump in. One of the most scary/hilarious moments I ever had with an escort happened when we were in his apartment. We were right in the middle of having tons of fun, when we heard someone jiggling his front door handle and keys in the lock. Luckily the bolt and chain were on, so he couldn't barge right in. But all of a sudden the guy started banging on the door and yelling for the escort (using his real name) to "open the fucking door."

 

Turns out it was his FATHER, who doesn't know anything about this escort's profession. He knew he was there because the stereo was on. So we had to scoop up my clothes, while I jumped in his closet (walk-in, thank goodness) and he answered the door, pretending he had been in the shower. His Dad came right in and started talking, while I pushed farther back into the closet hiding behind the clothes, feeling like I was suddenly in an "I Love Lucy" episode. Luckily, the escort got rid of his Dad in just a few minutes, and he opened the closet door to tell me the coast was clear. I emerged, still naked and laughing my ass off. And of course, with all of the excitement and "danger," was rock hard and ready to go again in a nanosecond. Come to think of it, maybe a father/son combo thing wouldn't have been so bad... :9

[Guest WetDream]

Forgive me if I've mentioned this before (Alzheimer's is setting in quickly). My cat Pantoum is a demon fetcher. One afternoon after a satisfying and sportive hour with an escort, I was lounging in bed while he took a shower. I glanced up in time to see the cat running into the bedroom with the guy's cockring in his mouth. He dropped it next to me in the bed, ready for a game of fetch.

[Guest BenDover]

Geez, which story do I tell?? How about this awkward moment. I was spending an all-nighter with a great guy I had been with before at an airport hotel. We had spent a few hours bouncing around the hotel room playing gleefully when we decided to take a break and go out for a drink at the hotel bar. It was near closing time, so there were only about 2-3 other customers sitting at the bar, all of them solo. One of them tried to strike up a casual conversation with the escort and asked "what do you do?" The escort, much to my absolute amazement, said, "I work in the sex industry." The guy looked at him, then looked at me, and said, "You're shitting me. What do you do, suck dick?" The escort, without blinking an eye, said "No, he does," pointing at me. The guy looked at me and I thought, what the fuck, and just grinned. The guy then stood up, walked over to us and shook both of our hands. "Fuckin' honest," was all he said as he walked out the door. :9

[HooBoy]

Wow! What a great story! If it's true, I love it. If its not true, I love it.

[Guest BenDover]

Hooboy, Baby, its true. All true. Once I realized that I had been outed as a client, it was all I could do not to laugh out loud. No one knew us, we we're from town, and what the hell. It felt really natural and indeed, it was honest.

[ManHoleNC]

One year my secretary gave me one of those "Clap-On, Clap-off" things for Christmas as a joke. Well, eventually I connected it to my TV in the bedroom so I could turn off David Letterman without getting out of bed.

 

One Sunday morning this hot latin escort was at my house giving me a wonderful wake-up call. He was plowing me with such vigor and excitement that he slapped my ass several times activating the clapper. The volume was up high and the local Baptist Church regulary televised their morning worship services. Being the Christmas Season, a perfect hymn began just as the TV came on. Imagine my laughter as "Oh, Come All Ye Faithful" punctuated the moment.

[Guest cmp]

Thanks for the laugh. You should cross-post it to the "Music for the Occasion" thread.

[Guest LG320126]

This past June, my favorite escort came to my hometown for the first time (I usually see him in his hometown). One night we went over to my home because my wife had left and we went skinny dipping in the pool. I had just had the bottom and steps re-coated and as I stepped down on the first step, I slipped, throwing my towel in the air and doing a double backflip naked into the pool. The escort has not stopped laughing yet and says it was the funniest thing he ever saw in his life. I have been dubbed the "pool clown". :-)

[Guest AdamLVescort]

TOO FUNNY!!! You guys crack me up! Well my story is not explosively funny but it got me tickled.. It happened just a few nights ago. LOL I was with a client and to fill you in I get to know my clients very well just because I am that kinda guy. My roomie calls as I am getting undressed by my client. He says,"Hey can you bring something home for him to eat..." I was laughing my ass off since my client was passionately knobbing on me and my roomie was asking for food! I kept telling him laughing I GOTTA GO, my client says tell him to go order pizza.(He was laughing his ass off since he knows the whole story on my roomie) I have to say I luv my clients.:-)

[buttnovice]

almost forgot about an incident until I read this post. I was with a very hot Brazilian number on a Saturday eve in NYC. While creatively feeding him, I let a major one slip. Maybe it was the fact that my butt was high-in-the sky and his head was draped over the edge of the bed with my feet on the carpet. It was loud. (Didn't shatter any windows) So we changed positions. As I was licking him, I made one of those "funny" noises blowing into his belly button, (think whoopie cushion) Well he made the curtains rumble!!! We both laughed! Turns out we both had fejoada (sp??) within an hour apart from each other mid afternoon at a Brazilian restaurant on 44th??? or whatever that Brazilian street is. In case you don't know. . . this is a very national dish based on black beans. Enough said. No matches were lit.

[Guest JT]

Thanks for all the laughs guys, I need it...BAD! :7

 

JT

[SmallTownJohn]

Hey there,

 

On a hotel call last year in Nashville, I met a clean cut, mild mannered businessman on the surface but when the sofa action heated up--he moaned VERY VERY LOUDLY. I could hear voices gathering at the door between his "HARDER!, OH SHIT! & YOU'RE KILLING ME!" I had to slow down & alert him that folks were outside. But, a few minutes later, he got fired up again...so I stuffed my boxerbriefs in his mouth, he clenched down & that muffled the wailing a bit. It was kinda cool though:0)

 

 

John

[Guest JT]

Hi John,

 

Did you charge those Eavesdropping Toms for the screamingly hot live entertainment that you provided? }>

 

 

JT

[SmallTownJohn]

Actually, it was female voices outside...I just didnt want them to say "Girl, sounds like someone's being killed! Let's call 911!" LOL I would have freaked:0)

 

 

John

[Guest JT]

>Actually, it was female voices outside...

 

Who knows, maybe they're into man-to-man actions (just like str8 guys fantasize about girl-to-girl play!);-)

 

 

>I just didnt want

>them to say "Girl, sounds like someone's being killed! Let's

>call 911!" LOL I would have freaked:0)

 

I bet once they see how cute and well-endowed you're :9 , they'll run and grab their camcorders!

 

JT

[ready182]

I guess this one falls in the category of awkward.

 

I booked a NYC escort who is very well reviewed on this site, by alot of people. Well, he arrived on time, and immediately we both had this weird feeling that we somehow knew each other. He was first to comment that "I looked familiar". During our time together, he never really was able to relax. To this day I have never figured out if I know him, or if he really knows me, or if that was why he was never able to relax.

 

So anyway, this was about 4 months ago. Just a week ago, I found out that someone I know (not really well), from my small home town (far removed from NYC) has two sons who are in NYC. So it got me to thinking, cause the sons would be about the right age, and even though I don't think I ever met them, I could have, or they could know who I am. So while odds are extremely remote that this escort is one of the sons, he could be, and that would explain alot -- ain't life funny sometimes?