Funny bumper stickers?

[Guest jizzdepapi]

Our local Sunday paper compiled a list of some recently-seen bumper stickers. Here they are; some are funny I think.

 

"The more I see of men, the more I love my cat” “Eve was framed” "The hole in the ozone is directly related to the hole in your head” “Ex-boyfriend in trunk” “Beyond bitch” “If you feel attacked by feminists, it’s probably a counter-attack” “Well-behaved women rarely make history” “The goddess is coming and, boy, is she pissed” “If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament” “Driver carries no cash. He’s married” “Testicle Festival, Rock Creek Lodge, Montana—I had a ball!” “Mark’s Topless Donut Shop, Portland Maine” “I think—therefore I’m single” “I love animals—they’re delicious!” “Don’t pray in my school and I won’t think in your church” “Born-again Pagan” “Born okay the first time.” “Keep your rosaries off my ovaries.” “Not another son of a Bush in the White House” “Hail to the Thief: George Bush: 2000” “Lobotomies for Republicans—it’s the law” “Be nice to your kids—they’ll choose your nursing home” “Lord, help me to be the person my dog thinks I am” “Normal people worry me” “If a woman’s place is in the home, why am I always in the car?” “Back off—I’m a postal worker” “Partnership for an Idiot-free America” “Visualize using turn signals” “Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most” “What if the hokey-pokey IS what it’s all about?” “Actions speak louder than bumper stickers”

[J-Man]

This was not exactly a bumper sticker, but I thought it was cute:

 

(seen on a welcome mat);

 

"Come on in-- if the dog starts to get amorous with your leg, just fake it."

[CT Dick]

"A nice ass should be seen but not heard."

[Guest DickHo]

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

[Guest dcdave]

Guys, please don't take offense but I really enjoyed this one from several years ago:

 

"NUKE THE GAY WHALES FOR JESUS"

[Guest WetDream]

Another on a religious theme: Jesus Christ was a gillnetter.

[Bilbo]

God is coming and boy, is She pissed!

 

Jesus is coming. Look busy!

 

and, what, pray tell is a gillnetter?

[Guest sdmuscl4hire]

One I saw in Seattle:

 

" I'm so good, I'm jealous of myself"

 

 

Michael Johnson

http://www.geocities.com/michaeljohnsonxxx/index.htm

[Guest CallMePapi]

You call me a bithch like it was a bad thing

[Guest WetDream]

Gill netting is the most politically incorrect way to fish commercially and has been banned my many areas where commercial fishermen operate. I THINK I'm right in saying that the problem is that all fish get caught in the net -- not just the ones (like tuna) that are being hunted. It is wasteful and environmentally bad. It is, however, an ancient practice and wasn't so harmful before our waters were practically fished out.

[Guest jizzdepapi]

just a cute little story regarding bumper stickers that weren't so funny:

 

a friend of mine who held together the back of her older rotting car with lefty political bumper stickers finally bought a new car. her young daughters loved riding in the new car so much that she asked them what the big deal was. one of them replied that they were so happy to ride in a car without drivers behind them tailgating, wagging their fingers, honking and sometimes giving them the finger. my friend didn't put any bumper stickers on the new car.