What am I doing wrong?

[Guest Cityfan]

I've never hired an escort, and recently decided I would try. First attempt: I was going to be in Chicago on business, so I emailed an escort there who had received consistently good reviews on this site. After responding very nicely to my first e-mail, I never heard from him again...

 

Second attempt: I was going to be in Los Angeles, and this time e-mailed a well-known, award winning porn star. This first several e-mail exchanges were very nice, but then he too stopped responding. Although I finally managed to get in touch with him and make a date, he stood me up, never calling or e-mailing to explain why he didn't show up.

 

Is it what I am saying in my e-mails -- that this will be my first time & I don't know exactly how to proceed? Is it that I say that I would like to get together, or meet the escort, instead of being more explicit? Or is it something I am not saying?

 

Any advice would be welcome -- I am eager to hire my first, and have it be memorable!!!

[Guest jc92103]

Sounds like a case of TMI and too high of expectations.

[Guest trekker]

It's hard to tell without seeing the emails (no, I'm not suggesting tha you post them here). And the two incidents may or may not have a common thread. It could just be a coincidence.

 

>Second attempt: I was going to be in Los Angeles, and

>this time e-mailed a well-known, award winning porn star.

> This first several e-mail exchanges were very nice, but

>then he too stopped responding. Although I finally managed

>to get in touch with him and make a date, he stood me up,

>never calling or e-mailing to explain why he didn't show up.

 

That is strange, but if you had exchanged several emails with him without getting specific, he might have figured that you were just wasting his time, or that you were a celebrity hanger-on (you said he is "a well-known, award winning porn star"). But standing you up, especially without an explanation, is not excusable. I hope you will write a review of the incident.

 

>Is it what I am saying in my e-mails -- that

>this will be my first time & I don't know

>exactly how to proceed? Is it that I say

>that I would like to get together, or meet the

>escort, instead of being more explicit? Or is it

>something I am not saying?

 

I don't know if this is the problem, but make it clear that you are not just a curiosity-seeker. However, be careful about being too explicit or indiscreet about what you would like to do. email is not a very secure medium.

 

>Any advice would be welcome -- I am eager to hire

>my first, and have it be memorable!!!

 

Good luck, and I hope it will be.

[Boston Guy]

Ummm, I'm wondering if perhaps you could be contacting them too often or too much???

 

Most escorts are pretty busy and it's my impression that a simple email a few days ahead of when you want to meet is often enough. Sometimes it takes a couple of email exchanges to nail some simple details but seldom much more than that.

 

If you are sending lots of emails -- and you may not be, that wasn't clear to me -- it's possible that you might be seen as someone who simply wants email contact instead of a real get together.

 

Sometimes less is more.

 

Good luck.

[vers7]

I also travel and use email as the initial contact. I've never had a bad experience. I use one of the escorts recommended on this cite. I send a concise email explaining when and where I will be and the time period that I'm interested in. I succinctly explain what I want and how much I'm willing to pay. My response has almost always been equally precise. I send a confirming email indicating that I will call the escort a few days before the date to make a final confirmation. I make that call and I've never been stood up.

[Guest regulation]

>Is it what I am saying

>in my e-mails -- that

>this will be my first

>time & I don't know

>exactly how to proceed?

>Is it that I say

>that I would like to

>get together, or meet the

>escort, instead of being more

>explicit? Or is it

>something I am not saying?

>

>

 

 

I'm not sure why you assume that the fault is yours. A lot of escorts aren't unfailingly courteous and businesslike with their clients and prospective clients. Sometimes it's because they get so many inquiries that they feel they don't have time to deal with any but the most promising ones. And sometimes it's because they just aren't bright and organized enough to handle things. Before the rise of Internet advertising by escorts, an acquaintance who worked at a national magazine for gay men in which many escorts placed ads told me that the escorts were the most disorganized of all their advertisers. He told me that they typically either waited until the last possible moment to renew, or forgot to renew and then called to complain when their ads were pulled.

 

Being new, you may need a bit more hand-holding than the average client. So what? If the first few people you contact aren't capable of dealing with you in a way that's appropriate to YOUR needs, you should forget about them and keep trying until you find someone who is.

[Guest alanm]

It is strange that you have been stood up twice. You may be

sending too many e-mails and being too vague. Some advice is to send one e-mail introducing yourself and explaining that this is a serious e-mail. Then reply once to each return e-mail, keeping

it short and responding to all questions. You also may be over

explaining your inexperience, once is enough. Good luck. Also,

try somone who has many good reviews on this site; they are unlikely to stand you up for fear of getting a bad review (you

should mention that you have read and been impressed by their

reviews). Like anything else in this line you'll pick it up very

quickly.

[Guest swiftone]

I am fairly new to hiring escorts and posponed doing it for quite a long time, finally a few months ago I was going to be in San Diego and plucked up the courage to contact a couple of guys there, and boy am I glad I did. Since then I have hired several escorts when I have traveled. Usually, I too make the initial contact via email, using escorts reviewed on this site. I give the dates I will be in that particualr area and ask about the escorts availability. I also briefly state what I am looking for and the time period I am interested in. On the whole my experience has been positive. Yes, a few escorts did not respond for whatever reason, but I view it as their loss not mine and I move on and contact someone else, and yes, I have been stood up a couple of times, which is really annoying, to say the least. If the escort is available I email a confirmation that I would like to hire them, I email a re-confirmation a few days before the date and follow that up on the day with a phone call. When I confirm the appointment I give the hotel I will be staying at and my name. If the escort sends further emails to discuss my visit and to get to know me better then I respond to them. Otherwise I don't send other emails.

[Losgatan]

CityFan,

 

I agree with others here that the escorts may feel that you're not serious about setting up an appointment. Being as specific as you can about dates, times, etc. in your emails will help. But, I've found another technique that works well for me.

 

When setting up a first appointment with a new escort, I always invite him to phone me (collect if he's out of town) for a get-acquainted chat. The fact that I'm willing to reveal my phone number (and usually my full name as well), telegraphs serious intent in a way that's hard to do via email alone.

 

My experience has been that the escort will take advantage of this offer about 95% of the time. If he doesn't, I assume he's not interested based on the information I've included in my email and I start looking for someone else.

 

Depending on your living arrangements, you may not be able to take escort calls at home. In that case, you might offer to call him at a pre-arranged time.

[Justice]

This topic comes up from time to time. Here's my two cents on the subject.

 

I too am new at hiring escorts. Here's what works for me.

 

I send an e-mail which mentions that I've seen his reviews on HooBoy and very briefly describes what I'm looking for. When I get a response (it may take up to a few days), I send a follow-up e-mail in which I describe my self (i.e., age, height, weight, etc.) and describes what I'm looking for in more detail. I include my first name and mention that I'm "Justice" from HooBoy. I NEVER mention money or ask about his fee in the e-mail. That's a very dangerous thing to do, IMHO. I also let him know that I'd like to discuss the final details over the phone and ask what's the best time to call. I wait for a response before making that call. If I get voice mail I leave a message that includes my first name and the fact that we've exchanged e-mails. I leave my phone number and the best time for him to call me. I sometimes have to play telephone tag, but we eventually hook up. One more thing, I have Caller ID and block anonymous calls. Since most escorts have unlisted phone numbers I have to remember to unblock the block.

 

Good luck. Have fun. And please keep us posted.

[Guest Cityfan]

Thanks guys for all the helpful hints! I'll keep you posted on developments, particularly with good experiences worth sharing.

 

--Cityfan