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Even people trying to avoid nonsensical news have heard that the hot dog eating king, Joey, has been banned from competing for doing what the previous champion before him did, which was promoting a competing hot dog brand that isn't Nathan's. 

It was in the news today that for the first time in a couple of decades, the two banned men will go head-to-head on Labor Day to settle FINALLY who the fastest hot dog eater is. This makes this year's Nathan's event largely uninteresting - or so I thought.

I went to the professional fastest eaters website, and the spouse of the female hot dog eating champ is a stud of studs - aesthetically. His name is Nick Wehry (I already looked, and he hasn't been mentioned on here until now). I couldn't find out what his height or circumcision status is (I'm joking about the latter), but at least there's a reason to watch this year's event for some eye candy. He's slipped in the World rankings a couple of notches in the last year, but I wish him well. 

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