KISS ME KATE!!!

[Juan Vancouver]

Hey guys,

 

I have been considering this subject for a long time; as long as I have been escorting. I have to confess that this is the only thing that I don't like about my profession. (Besides poor hygiene and poor attitude.) I am finally writting about it here because I am really curious to find out what clients and escorts alike will think about it.

 

I would like to request to keep this thread about this specific subject if possible. Even if I know that this might become a war of personal attacks. I will hope for the best.

 

I'm trying to find a smooth way to start but I am not being very successful, so I will just do it. I am talking about french-kissing (or not). Now, before going into it, I have to say that as many of my reviews can attest to I LOVE kissing, and to me, it is the main component of a successful session. I love kissing long, deep and passionately. (As long as we both are fresh and minty.) I think a wise man described it as "Suck-face".

 

I am going to share with you what hapenned to me two weeks ago and keeps obsessing me.

 

Gentleman X contacts me and books an appointment. When asked what is it that he gets into all I can get from him is: "What is written in your reviews". ( ...!) He sends a mail later on reminding me that he is into body contact, kissing, sucking...

 

The date of the appointment arrives and when he walks through the door, at a safe distance of one meter I am overwhelmed by what can only be described by very severe halitosis. During the pleasantries of our getting acquainted I ostensibly reach for a breath mint and take one (even if I have another in my mouth already) and ask whether he wants one. He does. (Extra point for him; an allarming 70% of people faced with that question respond "I'm fine, thanks".)

 

After a few minutes of mint-fueled conversation I approach him, hug him and reach for a kiss... but from far away I can still smell his breath. Now, this is not a little bit of onions and coffee. This is the breath of someone with serious gastrointestinal problems, several un-treated cavities and no oral hygiene, or a very serious health condition. I realize that I won't be able to stay focused if faced with this smell. (And I can perform under just about any circumstance.) :9

 

He is a really cute, really nice, extremely pleasant and sensual guy. So I opt for no kissing (not even with a closed mouth) and after three or four dodged attempts of kissing me he stops and doubtfully says: "But in your reviews it clearly says..." Then breaths deeply and forgets the subject. After that we do all the other things that he mentioned -and more- and we have a very fun session with absolutely no kissing.

 

Before leaving he tips me very generously and starts saying: "At the beginning of the session I was very afraid that we were not going to have a good time because..." He thinks, edits himself and continues, "But I had a great time, thanks."

 

My question is this:

 

I was lucky this time and the session ended up being great and fun. But since this happens now and then I want to know your opinion: What is the best way to deal with this situation?

 

Stopping and as kindly as possible explaining the situation. Asking whether a session without the un-delivered service would be considered fulfilling, and proceed -or not- with the session at the client's call....

 

or

 

Silently look for alternative options and make the best out of the session, considering that the "I can't kiss you" conversation might be a definite mood killer. Look for other activities that might be as pleasurable and fun for both of us, so the time spent together is fun, passionate and nobody feels hurt or crytizised in the end.

 

Escorts, how do you deal with this situation?

 

Clients, if this was the case with you, what option would you prefer your escort to choose?

 

I hope that this is seen as what it is: a serious desire to know how to make the escorting experience more enjoyable and fulfilling for everyone.

 

I feel a little dumb coming back after a few weeks of absence with such a polemic subject, but I have been feeling quite troubled trying to figure out what is the best thing to do.

 

Thanks a lot for your help. guys...

 

On a funny note, as my last will I would like this epitaph:

 

"Here lies He who candidly asked." :+

[Guest timgetrum]

Juan, as a client/person bad breath, my having bad breath, is one of my biggest concerns. The escort/client relationship moves to the extremely intimate in many areas very fast, so maybe the breath issue is one about which we can be direct. I work at having my breath fresh, especially trying to have my tongue brushed, a key to good breath.

 

I have never been with an escort who had a serious breath odor. To address concerns about myself I tell escorts/friends early on to please have no inhibitions about letting me know if there is an issue with my breath. The response I always get is "same here". It seems to me that this directness is a plus for intimacy.

 

From the escort's perspective, I guess the best policy is to draw on all one's intuitive skills and make an on-the-fly call. I like to use the "ask permission" strategy sometimes. Ask, "May I be very direct about a personal issue?" The answer virtually always is "yes". Then let the client know he has a breath "issue". Ask if he would brush, focusing on the tongue, and use some mouth wash. If there are abscessed teeth, tonsil, sinus or other causes, there will remain a problem. If a problem remains, give the client options, whatever they are, a session without kissing or?

 

Juan, had exchanged some emails with you about 18 months ago, but you did not have access to the US at that time. Somehow I did not worry about your breath one second. Great kissing is a key to a great encounter.

[jawjateck]

This is from a client who considers deep, passionate, prolonged kissing a must for an enjoyable experience. If there's a problem, just tell me. That has never happened with me before because I am always mouthwashed, supplemented with an appropriate mint just before the appointment. I have never had an escort to comment on my breath negatively because of the prepwork I do beforehand. I have had to call attention to 2 escorts on this matter. It was nothing severe, but more along the lines of the lingering aftertaste of dinner or a slight smoker's breath, and usually some mouthwash or a mint takes care of the problem.

 

Since kissing is a must for me, just be honest with me, and I will definitely call attention to my escort if there is a problem. It's difficult to understand why so many guys are inconsiderate with their breath. I guess they just don't give a damn. A severe oral problem like you describe would be a deal-breaker for me. If I can smell you a "meter" away, that's grounds for cancellation.

[alanalt]

Juan,

 

There's no doubt that hygiene (including oral hygiene) issues are among the hardest to address in this setting that involves intimacy among strangers. As a client, I always try to be very upfront and direct in communicating with an escort (without being rude) and I trust/expect that the escort will be the same with me, without being rude. But that's the catch isn't it? Because everyone's 'rudeness threshold' can be different.

 

For myself, I certainly wouldn't be offended if an escort raised the point. There are times, after all, when I'm out of town and visiting the escort, where I don't have access to a toothbrush just before an appointment. And while I carry and use breathstrips before such encounters, if the strips are ineffective, I'd want to know about it!

 

However, in the case you described, I certainly understand why you were being cautious. The lack of specificness in what he was looking for before the session and the later 'hesitations' from the client during the session probably raised 'warning signs' in your own mind about how to proceed. It's also likely why you're still troubled by it later.

 

In such cases, I like the 'ask for permission' approach outlined above by timgetrum. Such an approach, especially when initiated in the first few moments, should be below almost everyone's 'rudeness threshold'. Also, in this case, (and I'm not trying to criticize but just commenting) I think you had another chance to raise the issue at the end of your session when the client started to provide feedback, "At the beginning of the session I was very afraid that we were not going to have a good time because..." At that point, if you had pursued the matter, I think you could have had a frank, but not 'rude' discussion about his breath. Even if this was just a one-time encounter, no doubt the client (and other, future escorts) would have gained from that discussion.

 

One other point to consider. From your reviews, comments and our own e-mail exchange 20 mos. ago, it is apparent that his breath condition would have had to be severe indeed to affect you. In such a case, I don't think you're out of line to assume some sort of medical/dental condition being the cause and I would recommend that you raise the matter regardless with the client. If he's aware of the condition, then his 'rudeness threshold' should be very high indeed allowing an open discussion about how to handle during the session (e.g. lots of breathstrips, mouthwash or no kissing). And if he's not aware, even if he gets offended, he'll check into the matter later and (probably silently) thank you if it turns up a health problem exists that he's unaware of!

 

Good to see you back on the board, Juan!

[NASAguy]

hi Juan--

First, let me say that kissing (deep, open-month tongue exploring) is for me a great turn-on. Some of my most memorable escort experiences have been with men who were great kissers. But to be fair, I have had wonderful times with guys who were not into kissing as well. My preference is for the kisser however.

My worry is that I am now 59 yrs old....and I have noticed that with advancing age, there seems to be a greater potential for unpleasant odor. I am very careful to keep extra clean but breath has always been a worry. Since childhood I have always HATED the taste of mint!! I dislike any form of chewing gum as well. I use regular Listerine as a mouthwash but this may result in a "medicinal" taste to some. I would rather an escort tell me straight out if my breath was a problem with kissing. I probably would be terribly embarrassed and hurt but I am sure I could still have a great time. Be upfront Juan....as a client I have always tried to be sure my escort was having a good time as well...this relates to his comfort-level with kissing too.

The one thing I have not heard in this thread yet is smoker's breath....I don't care how you try to cover it up, if you are a heavy smoker, your mouth will taste of cigarette smoke and that is not nice!!

[Epigonos]

When I hire an escort it is always for either lunch or dinner and a couple of hours of play time. As I have said in a number of my reviews french kissing is an absolute requirement -- no french kissing or poor french kissing and I'm out of there. In my four year of hiring I have NEVER encountered an escort with bad breath. Because kissing is as important to me as it is and because I have an absolute horror of bad breath I ALWAYS carry both a toothbrush and a small bottle of mouthwash with me when visiting an escort. When we arrive back at his place after out meal I ask is I may use the bathroom where I brush my teeth and use my mouth wash. All the escorts I have been with thus far have done the same thus our first kisses have been toothpaste and mouthwash fresh.

If I were an escort I might keep a stash of toothbrushes and a large bottle of mouthwash handy. As I am prone to be honest to an absurd fault I would probably tell the client up front that he had a breath problem and that if we were going to have a successful kissing session I would greatly appreciate his using a gift toothbrush and some mouthwash. If he was offended -- so be it. You can't win them all and bad breath is such a turn off for me that I would be willing to accept the possible consequences of the client storming out.

[Guest PWIT]

I concur with jawjateck. I would want you to let me know. Do it in a pilot matter-of-fact way.

 

I did send an escort to clear a bugger from his nose once. It's life, things like that happen. I know the escort to which I am referring reads and participates in this forum. I'm sure he knows I thought nothing of it - hell he should know that as I keep letting him know I can't wait until our next encounter.

[+ Gar1eth]

Something else to think about--if you are having dinner together --maybe it would be a good idea to refrain from eating fish--I hate fish so this is a big one for me--or something with garlic unless the other person was also eating fish or garlic.

 

Gareth

[augustman]

Juan:

As a client who is mainly into kissing, body contact and being a bottom, I want to know about the big three, mouth, body, and residue. I love the idea of "Can we talk about something personal" approach. You will always find someone who will be insulted which will probably mean they are someone who can not be satisfied.

 

So my routine once hitting the room is ask for 5 minutes of personal time to one last clean up below, quick shower and brush and gargle. Even if I did just before arrival. I now actually take a quick rinse everytime there is a break because I have noticed while bottoming I do develop a bit of acid so as long as there is a break why not rinse the mouth again.

 

I have learned from Juan avoid garlic the day before and for overnights include onions and oily fish on the no list, eat lightly and have a piece of bread or roll towards end of meal to absorb some of those stomach acids.

 

Finally Juan, with the gentle touch of your hand and a look into those dreamy eyes you should be able to tell anyone anything and all we can do is nod our head and do as you ask.

[Lookin]

Glad you brought this up, Juan. I was with an escort a couple of months ago, who was a great kisser the first time we got together, but had bad breath the second time. I offered him a breath freshener, but he didn’t want one. I couldn’t think of a polite way to tell him he had bad breath, so we did other stuff instead. Your question made me think some more about how to handle this.

 

I think for an escort to a client, something like this might work: “I really like kissing, but only with super-fresh breath. Should we both go freshen up, or just save kissing for next time?” That kind of puts you both on the same level, and shouldn’t embarrass him.

 

It might or might not work so well for a client to say that to an escort, since the escort might just say, “Let’s save kissing for the next time.” For me, that would be a disappointment but I guess it would be for the best. Kissing is the most intimate contact I know of, but only when both partners are into it.

[Guest timgetrum]

I apologize. This is a little oblique to the topic. I believe great kissing is extremely important for most clients. It is extremely important for me, and I have never chatted with an escort who does not kiss. I have read reviews, where escorts say they don't kiss. Before my first experience with a man five years ago, I had never even thought about kissing a man. It may have had to do with my self image, thinking kissing was not masculine! Who knows? I was stupid! I can hardly believe where I was regarding kissing. I get a boner just writing about kissing. Many times I have read reviews here where the reviewer reported that so and so is the best kisser he has ever experienced. The good news for me is that I have been with my share of men, and I would be pressed to name the best kisser.

 

Foul breath hugely distracts from the great kissing. For an escort to risk an adverse client reaction for openly discussing a client's breath problem is ultimately a very friendly act. If the client's head is in the right place, he will realize that a tactful discussion of breath is a very positive act on the part of the escort. The escort can take some satisfaction in knowing he did something in the long-term best interest of the client, even if the client reacts negatively to the bearer of the bad news. Remember Harry Truman's admonishon, "When in doubt, why not do what's right?"

 

Bad breath is a great negative, but I find the clean, warm breath of an escort directly in my face is a huge turn on. The first escort I ever hired had me breathe slowly in while he exailed slowly into my nose. There was not a hint of foul odor. I had a strong, correct hunch that I had many exciting things to experience!

 

Prevention is best, and mouthwash/mint coverup is second tier defense. Keep that tongue well brushed. Follow with mouthwash!

[Juan Vancouver]

Hey guys,

 

I have been on a long trip and I am glad to come back to read all your responses. It seems that the majority leans towards adressing the issue and hopefully finding ways to deal with it.

Thank you very much for your input on this subject because as I mentioned earlier it is one of the few things that have bottered me during this time escorting and I am always trying to find ways to make the mutual experience of professional compaionship more enjoyable for both parties. (Or for all three, or four, or as big as the group might be.) }(

 

May the kissing begin! :9

[JT Brooklyn]

Hey Juan..Let me just say when it comes to Your Lips and Various Kiss Styles, after trying more than a few with you..

 

You are The Greatest!

 

keep'em Smiling Big Guy! :P

[Guest]

Sorry to chime in late. Kissing is an essential part of a sexual encounter for me. If I'm going on a date (either a real date or an encounter with an escort), I'm careful of what I eat the entire day of the date. I avoid onions, garlic, most seafood, etc. I suck on a few breath mints prior to the encounter, and slip in a Listerine Breath Strip right before things get intimate. To do otherwise would simply be rude.

If I were an escort, I would make it clear that good oral hygeine is necessary if kissing is to be expected. An escort's website, and/or e-mail or verbal communication are good places to communicate this. The only person who could possibly be offended by this would be someone who has bad oral hygeine and is rude. To normal people, this is kind of a "Well, duh, of course."

If, despite adequate communication, a client perists in trying to kiss with bad breath, it's easier to remind him of the policy than to bring up something new. You may offer him some mouthwash and/or breath strips if you think that will help. In extreme cases, i.e. exposed dental pulp or bleeding gums, you owe it to yourself and your clients to say that for the protection of yourself and your clients, you only engage in safer sexual practices, including not exposing yourself to blood.

[JT Brooklyn]

Unicorn..Definitely Agree. Unfortunately a few, very few of the Big Muscle Guys, have to take so many supplements, that also lead to Bad Breath.

 

Most know how to control the problem, BUT IF you run into a Guy who doesn't, you better have Plenty of Breath Mints! :P

[tazmanian5230]

"When JT speaks we all should listen attentively, he is a very

wise individual"

[Guest timgetrum]

This is a good objective discussion of halitosis:

 

http://www.dentist.net/bad-breath-cause.asp

[Guest]

Wow. If that Avatar is a picture of you, you are one gorgeous stud. I'd love to see larger pix...

[tazmanian5230]

>Wow. If that Avatar is a picture of you, you are one

>gorgeous stud. I'd love to see larger pix...

 

Thanks Unicorn, but Iam retired from Dancing and escorting.

[IceFireWizard]

>"When JT speaks we all should listen attentively, he is a very wise individual"

 

http://www.midrealism.paxtonfineart.com/Media/Donquixote.jpg

[whipped guy]

I don’t get the Don Quixote connection.

 

JT seems to be the least quixotic poster on this site… if anything he is a down-to-earth realist who “tells it like it is”, and is never overly idealistic or impractical in his observations.

[Juan Vancouver]

JT,

 

I was about to write a mere: "A long fuck-face to you!" But somehow it sounds more agressive than affectionate, :-( so I will stick to a standard:

 

"A tight hug from Vancouver, man."

 

Slurp! :9

[JT Brooklyn]

Juan..A Big Slurp back to you! We definitely have to "Suck some Face" real soon.

 

Enjoy your Summer and Travels, as much as those who meet you always do!

:9 :9 :9