First Time/ In LTR/ Nervous???

[Guest Topher]

I am looking for some honest feedback from Escorts and or Clients on positive & negative aspects into hiring an escort for the first time. We are a couple in our mid 30's that have been together for 15 years. Neither one of us have had sex with anyone else in all that time. (I know...hence this post) We are both very attractive and are still into each other in so many levels, but the sizzle is gone from sex...and we want those feelings again. We have been to stripper bars and played around with the dancers in front of each other...and those nights we have great sex. We are both open to try the escort path, but have reservations.

1. We would like to do it together...how does this work?

2. What is the general experience of other couples who have gone down this road? Brings them closer and bonds them even more, stay together, split up, opening up Pandora's Box?

 

Thanks for any advice you can give us.

[Guest Kenny021]

"1. We would like to do it together...how does this work?

2. What is the general experience of other couples who have gone down this road? Brings them closer and bonds them even more, stay together, split up, opening up Pandora's Box?

Thanks for any advice you can give us."

 

#1: If you like an escort tell the escort that you are hiring him for a threesome...the both of you and him. This COULD affect what he charges. Most escort are ok with it.

 

#2: Opening up Pandora's Box.

 

You claim that neither of you has had any other sexual experience in 15 years. IF TRUE then bringing a third party in could indeed expose one or both of you to feelings that may not be what you want.

It could be the beginning of one or both of you wanting to open it up to where each of you will want to explore on your own. Once this occurs, your relationship as it now is will no longer exist. Once the intimacy of exlusive sex is gone, something usually goes out of the relationship. I am not a psychologist and I'm positive others will advise you to go for it but my advise is this: go to a counselor and discuss your situation and get their advise. You then follow it OR do what you want. In any case, think carefully before doing something that could change your lives.

There's NOTHING wrong with threesomes, etc. but be aware of the consequences. Each couple is different. For me, it didn't work and we eventually split up.

[Guest Topher]

Thanks for the advice. No easy answer. I guess that's why we wanted feedback from others on this. Not something that comes up honestly at dinner parties on a Wednesday night. Most other LTR couples we know have a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" arrangement. This works for some, but many it doesn't. we would love to hear more experiences, good & bad.

Thanks Guys!

[Rick Munroe]

Wow, Topher...your post could have been written by me just a few short years ago. Let me just say that no one can really answer this question for you because everyone's experience is different. Derek and I were completely monogamous from the ages of 17 & 19 until 29 and 31, and had never had sex with anyone else until that time. In our teens & early 20's, we were going at it 24/7 & couldn't get enough of each other. But like you, things had gotten a bit stale, and we needed to open things up. Friends warned that we might fall in love with someone else (especially me; I tended to fall easily) but our feeling was that if it happened & we wanted to split up even after all that time, then that was how it was meant to be. Life is too short not to take chances, you know? All we've ever wanted for each other is happiness; our love & friendship is that strong. And I'm glad to say that we know now that we will never break up; we like our co-dependency! :+

 

How should you go about it? Well...how do you want to go about it? Do you want another couple (are you guys versatile or one top & one bottom or...?) or do you just want a third? What are you into & what are you looking for? At first, we only had 3-ways, but in time we branched out to playing on our own (and soon after, we each began escorting) and now we do a little of each...depends on the other guy(s) involved & our moods. The important thing is that we know that it's just physical sex, and what we have (friendship, trust, love) will not be changed by our fun.

[Guest Topher]

Rick,

Thanks for taking the time to respond. You sound like a fun couple to know. I guess we are tired of being "poster boys" for the perfect Gay Couple...we want more! We want to have fun. We were both with women when we met, and the whole AIDS crisis kept us from exploring. We now feel feel that we don't have to live the straight equivilent...but not sure what that means??? Your email sure helped shed a positive light on the matter. (which I was hoping for)

 

You guys ever make it out to San Diego or Palm Springs? Any couples you know in DC, London or Venice? (our upcoming travel spots)

 

Thanks Again!

 

Topher

[Rick Munroe]

>I guess we are tired of being "poster boys"

>for the perfect Gay Couple...we want more! We want to have

>fun.

 

I know what that's like. We are determined not to be the "old married couple" that we were in our 20's. I haven't minded trading in our old jobs & routine to be gym-and-circuit-party-attending-escorts. It's kinda funny when I look back to where we were a few years ago & remember how we laughed at the seeming vacuousness of gay men who...live the life we now live. (Don't you love irony?) Anyway...sex & fun is definitely the way to go, if you ask me. We'd burned out on flea markets, Home Depot & the Sunday Times Book Review.

 

>You guys ever make it out to San Diego or Palm Springs?

 

No immediate plan, unless you'd like to fly us out.

[btmstudnyc]

OMG RICK..you just described my boyfriend.

 

He'll never get burned out on Flea Markets.

 

Well....I know a couple that has been together 8 years and their spin on all this is to do everything together. They really love each other and decided that the other person always has to be there. SO, they talk about the guys and if they are both into it...then they go for it....if it doesn't work out...they move on without regrets.

 

The escort route is probably the best solution if you are thinking about a 3 way...because you guys probably make decisions together all the time. You both can choose someone that you will both enjoy. And it takes out the mix ups that sometimes happen when you just find someone off the street, bar, club, gym.

 

It's true that each couple is different and that no one could ever tell you exactly what will happen. But if your thinking about it now...most likely you will think about it again. So I say jump...but jump carefully and ask more questions if your unsure.

 

GOOD LUCK.....and if you do use an escort from here....choose someone that is a known professional....We usually aren't new to something like this.

 

I met a couple that have tried both ways...and love to use me (or should I say loved to use an escort) because they realize that I give equally to both of them, they both are attracted to me almost equally, they realize they are paying me to LEAVE (so I won't get tangled up with their lives,) and that they love watching each other with someone they approve of.

 

JIM

 

:+