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Skippy’s List: The 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S. Army

Guy Fawkes

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Once upon a time, there was a SPC Schwarz stationed with the Army in the Balkans. SPC Schwarz was either very clever or very bored; but probably both, since he managed to attempt or be warned about 213 things he wasn't allowed to do.


[li]Not allowed to watch Southpark when I'm supposed to be working.[/li]

[li]My proper military title is 'Specialist Schwarz' not 'Princess Anastasia'.[/li]

[li]Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic. [/li]

[li]Not allowed to challenge anyone's disbelief of black magic by asking for hair. [/li]

[li]Not allowed to get silicone breast implants. [/li]

[li]Not allowed to play 'Pulp Fiction' with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer.[/li]

[li]Not allowed to add 'In accordance with the prophesy' to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.[/li]

[li]Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don't like to War Criminal posters.[/li]

[li]Not allowed to title any product 'Get Over it'.[/li]

[li]Not allowed to purchase anyone's soul on Government time.[/li]

[li]Not allowed to join the communist party.[/li]

[li]Not allowed to join any militia.[/li]

[li]Not allowed to form any militia.[/li]

[li]Not allowed out of my office when the president visited Sarajevo.[/li]

[li]Not allowed to train adopted stray dogs to 'Sic Brass!'[/li]


For the rest of the list: http://skippyslist.com/list/

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