Some of Pat Boone's best dead friends are gay!

[Guest ncm2169]

Posted by John Aravosis on AmericaBlog:

 

< What a dweeb.

 

Pat Boone has penned a column entitled "I love gays," after he wrote an earlier column comparing those who opposes Prop 8 in California to the terrorists who murdered hundreds in Mumbai a few weeks back. Pat says that the "politically correct" crowd shouldn't get so upset that he compared civil rights activists, and regular moms and dads, to terrorists because he didn't compare us to them at all! Then he did it again:

 

I drew a comparison between the violence that killed almost 200 innocent people in Mumbai, perpetrated by jihadists trained to hate and kill indiscriminately, and the turbulent, abusive mob events in our streets and in front of our churches. If you read the column, you'll see that I carefully stated. "Oh, I know the homosexual 'rights' demonstrations haven't reached the same level of violence, but I'm referring to the anger, the vehemence, the total disregard for law and order and the supposed rights of their fellow citizens. I'm referring to the intolerance, the hate seething in the words, faces, and actions of those who didn't get their way in a democratic election, those who proclaim loudly that they will get their way, no matter what the electorate wants!"

 

My whole point, stated clearly, was that "hate is hate, no matter where it erupts. And by its very nature, if it's not held in check, it will escalate into acts vile, violent and destructive." If I'm wrong about that, show me.

 

Yeah, Pat invoked the Mumbai massacre not to compare us to the terrorists, but rather to compare our intolerance, hate, faces, and actions to known terrorists. Get the difference?

 

Pat then goes on to say that some of his best friends are homosexuals, though many of them are apparently dead homosexuals, so I'm not sure if that counts (or maybe it counts twice in Pat's twisted world). Pat's first gay friend was a guy who - surprise! - tried to cop a feel (I mean, really, who HASN'T had to fend off the pawing hand of a lecherous homosexual friend?)

 

I met my first homosexual friend while I was in high school. He was a Navy veteran who had come back to finish his schooling. He put his hand on my thigh while we were parked at a fast food drive in. I was a cow milker with a vise-like grip, and after I nearly squeezed his wrist off, letting him know he had the wrong guy, he said, "I guess you'll tell everybody, and I'll get kicked out of school." I assured him I wouldn't, and I told nobody. I really felt empathy for him, because he obviously was not a happy man.

 

Pat added, oddly, that he was "a cow milker with a vise-like grip." (I'm not sure, but I think that's a fetish in San Francisco.)

 

Lucky for the Navy vet, he's one of Pat's living homosexual friends. The others didn't do so well.

 

First we get the story of Pat's dying AIDS friend in the VA hospital. His teeth were falling out. Then we get to hear about how Pat laid hands on Rock Hudson's "bony chest" as he uttered his last breath (no word on whether Hudson tried to cop a feel too). In case you missed the pattern here, gay = AIDS to people like Pat Boone. But he really loves us, really he does, as he sends us all to heaven, or wherever.

 

Then Boone goes on to say about some other presumably living non-diseased homosexual friends that he actually wrote some books with homosexuals! I have to admit that I scratched my head and asked "what living, non-pawing homosexual would write a book with someone like Pat Boone?" But the answer quickly came to me. A very screwed up one. More from Pat:

 

Later (you may be surprised to learn), I really went out on a limb and wrote two books, about and with homosexual friends. The first was "Joy: A Homosexual's Fulfillment," and the second "Coming Out: True Stories of the Gay Exodus." They were written with a longtime lesbian, a former very promiscuous male homosexual and with a transsexual man who had emasculated himself in an effort to be a woman. They'd been down the whole road and back again, and they told me their stories and how they'd each been able to leave the homosexual lifestyle. This was not expedient for me as an entertainer, but I did it out of real love for gays. I do care.

 

Yes, Pat loved us so much, he tried to cure us.

 

Anybody got a shoe to throw?

[Guest zipperzone]

>Anybody got a shoe to throw?

 

I guess we should only throw white bucks.